


From Tauren Warrior to Wizard

by donnethan, KusanoSaku



Series: Chosen Fates [1]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: BAMF Dudley, BAMF Harry, Beater Dudley, Bullying, F/M, Gryfffindor Dudley, Implied Relationships, Implied Slash, Jealous Dudley, M/M, Magical Creature Harry, Magical Dudley, Ravenclaw Hermione, Redemption, References to Child Abuse, Slytherin Fred, Slytherin George, Slytherin Harry, Slytherins Being Slytherins, references to child neglect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-20
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-27 03:10:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 29
Words: 82,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donnethan/pseuds/donnethan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/KusanoSaku/pseuds/KusanoSaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dudley Dursley’s journey from Harry’s tormentor to loyal bodyguard, friend and confidant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Part of Chosen Fates series

Title: From Tauren Warrior to Wizard

Authors: kusanosakura and donnethan.valentyne.9

Pairing: Eventual DudleyxLavender; Implied Georry, Fremione, AndromedaxTed, and snupin

Summary: Dudley Dursley’s journey from Harry’s tormentor to loyal bodyguard.

 

* * *

 

 

Prologue

 

 Albus was furious.

 

Three-year-old Harry’s mind was still as much of a steel trap as it was when he was orphaned. Damn that boy!

 

Grumbling Albus Dumbledore, cast a charm to hinder his education by preventing his mind from remembering and accessing already stored knowledge and limiting his aptitude for various magic.

 

If he couldn’t control him via the Imperious or other mind control methods to be his carefully reared lamb for the slaughter then he’d hamper his memories so Harry only possessed a limited aptitude for subjects he approved of. Harry must be the future master of the brother wand to Tom’s wand.

 

Then he sensed a magical disturbance and Apparated silently to its source.

 

To his annoyance he found Harry’s ‘Muggle’ cousin manifesting magic by levitating various objects.

 

Albus was furious; if Dudley were magical it would hamper his plans. Damn that boy!

 

He cast a magic suppression charm that he’d created with Gellert’s assistance in hopes of curing Ariana but he’d never gotten a chance to use on Dudley.

 

Smirking he grinned, if he was lucky Dudley would suffer from a Squib’s inherent jealous of wizards and assist his parents in tormenting young Harry. Similar to how Petunia treated Lily...

 

Harry had to grow up thinking he was worthless and unwanted so he coveted attention and acceptance when he finally came to the Muggle world.

 

Albus sneered at Dudley’s now unmagical form; he would play his part in the moulding of his weapon Harry Potter…

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds Expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 

Growing up Dudley sensed an affinity with his cousin that didn’t make sense.

 

Sure they were blood because their mums were sisters…

 

Then he started to notice the strange things that sort of happened around his cousin…

 

The shrinking ugly sweater even he wouldn’t wear and the quickly regrowing hair.

 

He wasn’t very old when he realised that he got rewarded for joining in his parents’ picking on his cousin. By accusing Harry of taking his food he received more…

 

XoooooX

 

Soon Dudley met Piers Polkiss when they started school at St. Gregory's Primary School.

 

Even the teachers didn’t seem to like Harry sensing something different about him.

 

So Dudley and Piers managed to scare all the other kids so they wouldn’t make friends with Harry. They were even too scared to pick Harry for games…

 

Dudley was often made much of by the teachers because his father was a patron of the school. He was one of the most gifted in sports and once was given a reward for ‘eating all his lunch’.

 

It wasn’t until Harry turned their teacher’s wig blue because she lectured him for being irresponsible and not doing his homework when they were ten that Dudley started to see things a bit differently.

 

Harry had been locked in his cupboard without his light bulb for tracking mud into the kitchen after he got soaked in the rain when he was forced to weed the garden.

 

Harry was often reading when he could slip away and he looked so peaceful without anyone harping at him.

 

Though the time that made the biggest impression of Harry’s difference was when he, Piers, Malcolm, Dennis and Gordon were ‘Harry-Hunting’ and Harry who ducked behind the Kitchen rubbish bins only to appear on the kitchen roof.

 

Dudley managed to convince his friends Harry had always been on the roof and they’d mistakenly chased a dog or maybe a cat.

 

XoooooX

 

While he made his usual fuss about his number of presents his eleventh birthday but he knew Harry wasn’t going to get any.

 

He’d started to feel differently about his cousin.

 

There was that strange feeling that they had something in common, or that they were supposed to.

 

He spent the entire day expecting something that didn’t come…something that would change everything.

 

When Miss Figg hurt herself and Harry had to come with them for his birthday, Dudley put up his expected fuss. Secretly he was glad because Harry never got anything for his birthday…

 

They took turns punching and pinching Harry because his dad was watching them in the mirror but unlike Piers after the first punch and pinch he started to pull his punches using less force but still hitting the same spot roughly.

 

He was really excited and tried to convince his mother that one of his two extra presents should be his own cat.

 

To which his mother begged off for the first time in his life actually refusing him something by claiming to be allergic.

 

Dudley pouted he was supposed to have a pet this year…he knew it.

 

The snake attacking was freaky.

 

He _knew_ Harry had something to do with its escape.

 

He heard them talking and while he couldn’t understand them he knew they were communicating somehow. It sent a shiver down his spine and when he caught the glass vanishing it hammered home that Harry was different.

 

First the reptile house was screaming about the escaped Brazilian rainbow boa but just as they were hurried out, a zookeeper ran up to someone official looking.

 

“Dr. Dorian, one of the Burmese’s is missing.”

 

 “Which one?”

 

“The runt sir.”

 

“Really? He probably crawled somewhere to die. He’ll never get very big, between being born so small and the regurgitation issue he was lucky to live long enough to make his debut. If his parents hadn’t been normal sized I would have though he was dwarf if he wasn’t so sickly. You’d think giving him a ‘born to die’ name like Waris did he’d have better luck.”

 

The Reptile House zookeepers shared a bitter laugh before they resumed their search for the missing snakes.

 

XoooooX

 

They stopped at an ice cream parlour to make up for their being chased from the reptile house and his party disturbed.

 

To make things worse, they were stared at because Harry was the only one without a dessert.

 

Harry’d never had cake except the few times he’d been given a really tiny piece because he had to attend his birthday party.

 

So Dudley threw a tantrum about there not being enough ice cream in his Knickerbocker Glory. When his mother went to throw it, he threw an obligatory fit about ‘wasting food’. To his delight his machinations worked perfectly and Harry got a treat.

 

He was smug for hours about that.

 

 


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

It wasn’t until Harry’s birthday and he received that damn letter that he realized what he’d been instinctively waiting for.

 

A letter that never came…

 

Yet his parents’ reaction to Harry’s letter and their knowledge of Harry’s difference worried him.

 

It was his jealousy about the letter that made him throw the fit about Harry’s presence in his second bedroom? Why the hell did he need a second bedroom when there was perfectly suitable room for Harry? Who in their right mind made a kid sleep in a cupboard anyway?

 

His mother’s refusal to let him have his cat made him hunger for his parents to actually reprimand him like his friends’ parents did.

 

He hoped using the Smelting stick on his cousin would annoy his parents, only they praised him instead.

 

What did he have to do to get a wall? A limit? They praised him equally for good marks as they did when they were bad.

 

He didn’t understand. They gave him all the gifts he wanted, spoilt him and gave him more food then he needed only to end up with nothing of real value.

 

XoooooX

 

The letters kept coming and Dudley’s temper frayed more once so they were running from the letters he resorted to his old method of tormenting Harry and ignoring his guilty conscience…

 

Why? Why was Harry getting special treatment? It wasn’t fair!

 

The letters followed them…

 

Eventuallyk,they ended up in a dreary shack on a rock; it was cold and drafty with barely any electricity. The letters which should have his name instead of Harry’s were burnt and Dudley felt a bit smug.

 

Then came the hammering on the door and it’s implosion into the shack.

 

The door frame seemed to grow and then the largest man Dudley had ever seen walked into the hut.

 

Dudley cringed and tried hiding foolishly behind his mother.

 

His father was an idiot trying to argue with a giant that could clearly do the weird things Harry could.

 

When his dad announced that they’d planned to beat Harry’s magic out of him, Dudley felt a shiver. He could have ended up in Harry’s position, unwanted and hated if he had magic. So why did he want it so much?

 

He curled up with a mouldy blanket on the floor leaving the rickety bed for his parents.

 

For all his mistakes and missteps, at heart he was a good and kind boy…

 

 


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

Dudley woke to hear his father raging at the giant about Harry attending Stonewall High and ‘being grateful for it’. That he wasn’t paying for an old crackpot to teach his cousin magic tricks.

 

To his horror, his dad’s arguing had the giant turn that garish pink umbrella on him.

 

What did he do?

 

Granted he wasn’t the nicest person to Harry, but he hadn’t done anything to the giant.

 

Then he felt a tickle at the end of his spine just over his arse crack and his hands flew to his arse.

 

Eventually he felt his baggy jeans split and something curly and smooth tickled his fingers.

 

He hopped around in a circle trying to look at his arse to see what it was.

 

Then the giant grumbled that he’d meant to turn him into a pig but he must have been so much like a pig that he only received a tail.

 

Dudley was mortified.

 

He knew from Pig being a spelling word what it meant.

 

A young domesticated [raised by humans] swine, a creature resembling a pig and a dirty, gluttonous, or repulsive person.

 

The related word Pork referred to a dead pig that weighed less than sixty kilograms.

 

Dudley was actually heavier than that…

 

While swine referred to any of various stout-bodied short-legged omnivorous artiodactyl mammals.

 

Dudley was most definitely stout and a mammal.

 

A pig…

 

Sure he was a bit of a glutton but a _pig_? He had a freaking pig’s tail.

 

He was beyond mortified…

 

He could smell Harry’s cake and the sausages.

 

He wasn’t getting any…

 

Surely a _pig_ could stand to miss a few meals, Dudley thought morosely.

 

They disappeared into the adjoining room where his mother started to weep about his tail and his father paced shaking his fist.

 

Dudley was angry with his father blaming him for angering the giant and the giant for picking on him. It should be his father with the tail!

 

He didn’t deserve it unless this was his divine punishment for his mistreatment of Harry the last tenish years.

 

He’d tried to be a better cousin; at least he could pretend to be scared of his cousin being magical. Then he wouldn’t be tempting fate by picking on Harry…

 

He was still hungry, the cake and sausages looked so good.

 

It wasn’t until they heard Harry and the giant leave that his mother fussed about food.

 

It took sometime before the rowboat seemed to return.

 

While his father complained that the giant probably messed with it, they still had no choice but to use it to get back to the mainland.

 

They stopped at the first restaurant on their way home.

 

Dudley bathed and dressed pausing to examine his tail; he couldn’t go to Smeltings with a tail! How were his parents going to fix this one?

 

 


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 

His first knowledge of his tail’s impending removal was when Harry asked if he could get a ride to King’s Station.

 

His father’s teasing wasn’t funny but he was pleased to learn that an appointment was made the same day for his tail to be removed.

 

Thank god!

 

XoooooX

 

When Dudley finally arrived at Smeltings and attended his first day of classes he learned that he wasn’t just two days behind…

 

He was very academically behind due to his disruption of class and lack of effort with school work.

 

Between the tail incident and this, Dudley was quite humbled.

 

He dragged Piers with him to tutoring to catch up, mostly because he was embarrassed to go on his own and he felt responsible for Piers being behind as well.

 

He learned that his horrid writing and his abysmal math skills were likely due to learning disorders and with his tutor Ms. Smith he actually started to do better.

 

Piers wasn’t very motivated but followed him because Piers lacked the ability to think for himself.

 

Dudley actually wished he had better taste in friends but Piers had been his friend for so long that he would feel awful about abandoning him.

 

He hoped without him to cause trouble Harry actually made friends at Hogwarts…

 

Dudley while not one of the best students at Smeltings he did far better there then at St. Gregory’s.

 

He was even applauded for being a better student then his father which was high praise since it was his father’s alma mater.

 

The only class he really found he did poorly was swimming, while he floated well he tended to flail more than swim.

 

He’d failed swimming lessons at a child while Piers could swim circles around him.

 

To encourage Piers to be good at something he pushed his friend to join the swim team.

 

In return Piers tried to help him with his swimming.

 

By Christmas- since Smeltings had an indoor heated pool he managed to swim five metres.

 

It was only one quarter the length of the pool but it was an accomplishment…

 

The first award that Dudley felt he really earned…

 

He planned to manage to swim the entire length at least twice before graduating…

 

If only the food wasn’t quite so good Dudley might actually eat less.

 

 


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

 

His teasing wasn’t quite as horrid during their summer…

 

He’d seen Harry with two other kids; a girl with bushy hair and a tall boy with red hair that he sensed wasn’t quite what he seemed.

 

He was surprisingly distraught when neither of them seemed to write to his cousin for his birthday.

 

Dudley agreed to go along with his father’s plans to flatter the Masons when they came to dinner on Harry’s birthday. He really disagreed with them about leaving Harry in his room the entire time and he had a bad feeling that something would go wrong.

 

He was paid which pleased him since he had been added to Jason’s Online Game accounts.

 

He’d made a new friend after Christmas Holidays who played Mechwarrior and Neverwinter Nights.

 

Eventually they started Dungeons and Dragon actual campaigns using Jason’s 2nd edition books from his dad.

 

They played Neverwinter Nights almost daily as well as using AOL’s IM to roleplay paper D&D.

 

The last day before going home for the summer the three swore a blood oath to be honest about their rolls.

 

The oath didn’t seem to affect Jason and Piers the way it had him. He felt the oath almost at the back of his mind preventing him for typing anything but exactly what he rolled.

 

He played his role perfectly claiming he’d written an essay on Mr. Mason as his hero. It was all hogwash. He’d actually playfully written an essay on the creator of D&D as his hero. He’d gotten high marks but was careful to destroy the hard copy of the essay so his parents couldn’t read it.

 

Half the things he said were all rubbish, and Mrs. Mason was not as lovely as he pretended. She at least was prettier then his mother that was for sure…

 

His parents were only too happy to buy him his own copy of Mechwarrior but the Neverwinter Nights was something he kept to himself. After all, his parents’ view on magic was quite clear.

 

It was a banned topic, not to be discussed. Aside from his major jealousy of Harry for having it when he didn’t, he had nothing against his cousin and his ‘bullying’ was only to keep the peace. He preferred to avoid him by spending much of his time watching the telly or on his computer.

 

Thankfully his parents had a new telephone line added so he could play his games…

 

It wasn’t until he started hearing noises coming from Harry’s bedroom he really started to worry.

 

When his father excused himself to no doubt lecture his cousin he started and wondered why Harry would do anything to sabotage the dinner party knowing the probable consequences.

 

His father’s excuse was a cat, damn him. His father had clearly forgotten how much he wanted one.

 

Then to make the whole night a complete disaster Harry was found in the kitchen with his mother’s prized pudding destroyed with shattered crystal and pudding all over the kitchen.

 

Now Dudley was convinced Harry was either crazy or innocent…

 

The owl that arrived terrifying Mrs. Mason and making the previously impending contract that his father was so keen on impossible made everything worse.

 

Harry was locked in his room and a cat flap installed on his door, which made Dudley’s anger about being refused a cat worse…

 

Though the bars on Harry’s window was overkill…

 

XoooooX

 

When they woke to the sound of a car backfiring coming from Harry’s room they found the metal bars ripped away and Harry being driven away in a flying car.

 

He had friends who could drive? They actually came to rescue him? Why didn’t they bother to write him all summer if they’d do that?

 

The twins looked interesting but the skinny redhead that gave him a bad feeling was there too.

 

It was a lot quieter with Harry gone and Dudley didn’t have to suffer from a guilty conscience when he bullied his cousin for appearances sake.

 

 


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically there are quotes in this Chapter from Prisoner of Azkaban but since this is in Dudley's POV rather than Harry's I'll be forgiven right?
> 
> Thank you for all the reviews! We're getting closer to Chosen Darkness. It will be quite interesting to see Dudley's reaction to the events so far expounded in that fic as well as adventures and experiences Dudley has in Hogwarts away from Harry's group...

Chapter 6

 

 

When the news about the escaped murderer Sirius Black was on the telly, there was something odd about the photograph. He looked at it twice, it looked like it was frozen and it seemed different from other photos.

 

The first time the name was heard in their house Harry’s ears twitched. As if he somehow knew the name, was this Black person a wizard?

 

XoooooX

 

Of course his ‘beloved’ Aunt Marge made her every three year visit. She was usually busy running her puppy mill or on a vacation.

 

His father like he had with the Masons paid him a tenner to be a good boy. He thought that Marge should be drownt like unwanted puppies. He hadn’t forgotten her comments about Harry before.

 

Of course his foul-mouthed aunt couldn’t keep herself from verbally haranguing Harry with his father.

 

Was it any wonder that after the zillionth time Aunt Marge called Harry’s parents drunken scum that he blew up?

 

"Now, this one here —” Marge jerked her head at Harry, who flinched. “This one’s got a mean, runty look about him. You get that with dogs. I had Colonel Fubster drown one last year. Ratty little thing it was. Weak. Underbred.”

 

Dudley had the feeling that this was really, really bad idea. The brandy was going to Marge’s head and loosening her tongue far too much.

 

“It all comes down to blood, as I was saying the other day. Bad blood will out. Now, I’m saying nothing against your family, Petunia,” she patted his mother’s bony hand with her shovel-like one, “but your sister was a bad egg. They turn up in the best families. Then she ran off with a wastrel and here’s the result right in front of us.”

 

Aunt Marge’s voice seemed to been boring into one’s mind like one of those drills built by Grunion’s .

 

“This Potter,” said Aunt Marge loudly, seizing the brandy bottle and splashing more into her glass and over the tablecloth, “you never told me what he did?”

 

His parents were looking extremely tense. Dudley reluctantly looked up from his pie to gape at his parents.

 

“He…didn’t work,” said Uncle Vernon, with half a glance at Harry. “Unemployed.”

 

“As I expected!” said Aunt Marge, taking a huge swig of brandy and wiping her chin on her sleeve. “A no-account, good-for-nothing, lazy scrounger who,”

 

“He was not,” his cousin said suddenly.

 

The table went very quiet.

 

Harry was shaking all over; Dudley had never seen him so angry in his life. It was as if the room were suddenly electrically charged like there was a lightening storm about to break.

 

“MORE BRANDY!” his father who had gone very white yelled. He emptied the bottle into Aunt Marge’s glass. “You, boy,” he snarled at Harry. “Go to bed, go on,”

 

“No, Vernon,” Aunt Marge hiccupped, holding up a hand, her tiny bloodshot eyes fixed on Harry’s. “Go on, boy, go on. Proud of your parents, are you? They go and get themselves killed in a car crash (drunk, I expect),”

 

 “They didn’t die in a car crash!” Harry said in an almost hiss of defiance, who found himself on his feet.

 

“They died in a car crash, you nasty little liar, and left you to be a burden on their decent, hardworking relatives!” Aunt Marge screamed, swelling with fury. “You are an insolent, ungrateful little,” But Aunt Marge suddenly stopped speaking almost as suddenly as she’d begun yelling at his cousin. For a moment, it looked as though words had failed her. She seemed to be swelling with inexpressible anger, but the swelling didn’t stop. Her great red face started to expand, her tiny eyes bulged, and her mouth stretched too tightly for speech. The next second, several buttons had just burst from her tweed jacket and pinged off the walls for she was inflating like a monstrous balloon, her stomach bursting free of her tweed waistband and each of her fingers blowing up like a salami…

 

It would be funny if his father wasn’t reacting the way he was.

 

Really Marge was just full of hot air anyway but to make it literal was almost funny.

 

“MARGE!” his parents yelled together as Aunt Marge’s whole body began to rise off her chair toward the ceiling. She was entirely round, now, like a vast life buoy with piggy eyes, and her hands and feet stuck out weirdly as she drifted up into the air, making apoplectic popping noises.

 

Ripper came skidding into the room, barking madly.

 

He hated those stupid dogs; he was a cat person anyway.

 

“NOOOOOOO!” his father seized one of Marge’s feet and tried to pull her down again, but was almost lifted from the floor himself.

 

A second later, Ripper leapt forward and sank his teeth into his father’s leg.

 

Harry escaped behind his parents’ backs heading for the cupboard under the stairs, probably to rescue his magical stuff and run. God knew his father wouldn’t forgive letting his freakishness attack his sister.

 

Served the bitch right for getting in Harry’s face like that…

 

He wondered if Harry’d dare do something like that to his mother? God knew that his mother could be just awful when she was screaming at him...she squaked like a bird and didn't seem to shut up. His father ranted, raved and grumbled like a pissed off bull.

 

It didn’t take long for weird people in cloaks with wands to get Aunt Marge down, deflate her and make her forget everything. Probably making it all seem a drunken dream…

 

Of course being Harry’s relatives they didn’t make them forget, which was a really dumb move. Just wait until his father had Harry back, he knew the kid would suffer…

 

By that time Harry was long gone and good for him, he just hoped that Harry wouldn’t get in trouble. He was sure that Marge was just asking for it anyway and without a wand it was an accident right?

 

If his suspicions about that Black person were right, it was possible that Harry was in far more danger then from just his father’s temper.

 

 


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 

 

Escaping that mad house that was Number Four was always a relief; really he had to be almost as happy to be away from it as Harry was.

 

At Smeltings he was just Dudley or Mr. Dursley…

 

He could focus on school, and getting better at swimming which like running was about the only physical activity he was dreadful at.

 

Dudley was almost grateful to see his tutor and to focus on bettering his academic status. He almost wished he was praised more for improving himself.

 

He could return to their Dungeons and Dragons campaigns and be sure that they weren’t really fibbing about their rolls.

 

Which he had issues with flipping numbers; Dudley found he really enjoyed maths and sciences. While he had an unhealthy relationship with food, health classes were interesting…

 

Having travelled with his parents political sciences, world history and even geography were pretty decent.

 

Because this was a technical school that focused on careers like his father’s, Dudley was excited to learn they had a robotics’ team. Dudley was extremely interested in computers rather then stupid drills…

 

Now after two completely years at Smeltings Dudley was starting to get the hang of the place. How to tell the teachers who would be interested in helping students and who wouldn’t…

 

He insisted that Piers stick to the swimming team because he was good, in exchange for ‘being a good friend’ Dudley conned Piers to keep helping him with his swimming. He still wanted to be able to swim the entire length of the pool; it was highly embarrassing to be the only one who couldn’t.

 

The longer he spent in health classes the worse he felt about Harry missing meals, the more he learned about starvation and anorexia the more he worried about his cousin’s health.

 

There really wasn’t much he could do being a kid too but his parents should know better. Considering how badly a lack of nutrients affect a child’s body he had to be a slow healer, all the bruises and injuries his parents caused Harry…

 

It just made him feel worse…

 

At Smeltings their language arts class- which was a fancy name for a class that focused on reading and writing as well as their social studies class was usually taught by the same teacher.

 

It was very irritating that his father picked out his electives every flipping year the stupid bull never listened to a word he ever said and mum wasn’t invited to those meeting in the spring.

 

His first year he was forced to attend a class called Introduction to Industrial Technology.

 

The required business classes that were considered core classes were always boring…

 

Last year it was Communications and Engineering Technology…

 

Luckily the only class his father considered this year was Computer/Electronics/Robotics Technology.

 

He was actually interested in computers and robots were so flipping cool…

 

His teacher actually asked him to consider joining the school’s robotics club. Luckily it was at the same time as Piers’ swimming practices so he could go.

 

His teacher had a strong Russian accent of all things but he really liked the man…

 

They were told about the VEX competition and how if they did well on their robots they might make to the national competition in London…

 

That sounded swell but Dudley had serious doubts his father would let him go…

 

But Dudley planned to work hard anyway…

 


	9. Chapter 8

 

 

Chapter 8

 

Dudley was fucking pissed to be stuck at home this summer, he wanted to stay at school and attend one of the summer camps but his father gave one of his insincere smiles and said his mother would be so disappointed and that he wouldn’t want to upset her by not coming home when she missed him so much.

 

So he was stuck at home again…

 

Where Harry was…

 

Finding out that escaped mass murderer was Harry’s godfather and that one word to him of his mistreatment might bring him there, had allowed Harry the privilege of having his wizard stuff in his bloody room but no he couldn’t go to a summer camp at school.

 

Not that he was pissed at Harry, just his lying two-faced parents who raved over him to their friends and associates but wouldn’t let him better himself.

 

Not that it helped really that his school nurse insisted he go on a diet, sitting through all those health classes and because his endurance was getting worse he knew he needed it but he loved food…

 

Fuming still Dudley made his way to the kitchen and ignored his mother’s fake bubbly attitude.

 

His mother put a quarter of unsweetened grapefruit onto Dudley’s plate with a tremulous, “There you are, Diddy darling.”

 

Dudley glowered at her, mostly because of her idiotic nickname she greeted him with.

 

His life had taken a most unpleasant turn since he had come home for the summer with his end-of-year report.

 

His parents had always managed to find excuses for his bad marks.

 

His mother always insisted that he was a very gifted boy whose teachers didn’t understand him, while his father maintained that ‘he didn’t want some swotty little nancy boy for a son anyway.’

 

They also skated over the accusations of bullying in the report, ‘He’s a boisterous little boy, but he wouldn’t hurt a fly!’ his mother had said tearfully.

 

However, at the bottom of the report there were a few well-chosen comments from the school nurse that not even his imbecilic parents could explain away. No matter how much his mother wailed that he was just big-boned, that his poundage was really puppy fat, and that he was a growing boy who needed plenty of food, the fact remained that the school outfitters didn’t stock knickerbockers big enough for him anymore which was embarrassing really…

 

The school nurse had seen what his mother’s eyes - so sharp when it came to spotting fingerprints on her gleaming walls, and in observing the comings and goings of the neighbors - simply refused to see: that far from needing extra nourishment, Dudley had in fact reached roughly the size and weight of a young killer whale.

 

His bull of a father laid aside his paper with a deep sniff of disapproval and looked down at his own grapefruit quarter. “Is this it?” he said grumpily to his mother.

 

Mother gave him a severe look, and then nodded pointedly at Dudley, who had already finished his own grapefruit quarter and was eyeing Harry with a very sour look in his eyes.

 

Not that he was going to steal Harry’s, the boy clearly needed more food then Dudley did himself.

 

His nose had always been able to scent sweets and he could smell the cake in his cousin’s room but he had decided after his expected tantrums that he’d leave Harry to his cake. It was bad enough that they all had to suffer his ‘diet’.

 

God knew his stick of a mother and dwarf cousin needed food more then he and his father did.

 

Uncle Vernon gave a great sigh, which ruffled his large, bushy mustache, and picked up his spoon.

 

The doorbell rang.

 

His father heaved himself out of his chair and set off down the hall. Quick as a flash, while his mother was occupied with the kettle, Dudley stole the rest of his father’s grapefruit. Mostly because he was still hungry and he was pissed at his father.

 

Dudley heard talking at the door, someone laughing and his father answering curtly.

 

Then the front door closed, and the sound of ripping paper came from the hall.

 

His mother set the teapot down on the table and looked curiously around to see where his father had disappeared to.

 

She didn’t have to wait long to find out; after about a minute, he was back. He looked livid.

 

“You,” he barked at Harry. “In the living room. Now.”

 

Curious, Dudley who had never learned that eavesdropping was bad excused himself, “got to visit the loo.”

 

He tip-toed, as best he could given his size, to the door to the living room and listened through the key hole.

 

“So, so,” his father began.

 

Dudley glared at the door thinking, ‘So what?’

 

“This just arrived,” he heard his father say and heard the shake of paper. “A letter about you.”

 

Now Dudley was even more curious…

 

His father’s drawling voice began to read.

 

“ **Dear Mr. and Mrs. Dursley,**

**We have never been introduced, but I am sure you have heard a great deal from Harry about my son Ron.**

**As Harry might have told you, the final of the Quidditch World Cup takes place this Monday night, and my husband, Arthur, has just managed to get prime tickets through his connections at the Department of Magical Games and Sports. I do hope you will allow us to take Harry to the match, as this really is a once-in-a lifetime opportunity; Britain hasn’t hosted the cup for thirty-two years, and tickets are extremely hard to come by. We would of course be glad to have Harry stay for the remainder of the summer holidays, and to see him safely onto the train back to school.**

**It would be best for Harry to send us your answer as quickly as possible in the normal way, because the Muggle postman has never delivered to our house, and I am not sure he even knows where it is.**

**Hoping to see Harry soon,**

**Yours sincerely,**

**Molly Weasley**

**P.S. I do hope we’ve put enough stamps on.** ”

 

“Look at this,” he growled.

 

Enough stamps? What did that mean?

 

Then he remembered that Harry’s sort used owls to send letters so that must mean she, this Mrs. Weasley put a bunch of stamps on the envelope not knowing the customs of their sort of post.

 

It was almost laughable…

 

Giving his current dislike of his father, he almost wished he could see his face.

 

“The postman noticed,” his father said through what sounded like gritted teeth. “Very interested to know where this letter came from, he was. That’s why he rang the doorbell. Seemed to think it was funny.”

 

“So - can I go then?” he heard his cousin ask.

 

“Who is this woman?”

 

“You’ve seen her,” he heard Harry say. “She’s my friend Ron’s mother; she was meeting him off the Hog - off the school train at the end of last term.”

 

“Dumpy sort of woman?” his father growled finally. “Load of children with red hair?”

 

“Quidditch - what is this rubbish?”

 

“It’s a sport,” he said shortly. “Played on broom- “

 

“All right, all right!” his father said loudly. “What does she mean, ‘the normal way’?” he spat.

 

“Normal for us,” Harry said, “you know, owl post. That’s what’s normal for wizards.”

 

“How many times do I have to tell you not to mention that unnaturalness under my roof?” he hissed, “You stand there, in the clothes Petunia and I have put on your ungrateful back,”

 

“Only after Dudley finished with them,” said Harry coldly.

 

Dudley winced; his father made a lot of money and forced Harry to wear his old clothes that fit like he was wearing a sack. He just didn’t understand why they couldn’t just get him second-hand clothes that actually fit better.

 

“I will not be spoken to like that!” his father said his voice trembling with rage.

 

Dudley heard Harry take a deep breath and then said, “Okay, I can’t see the World Cup. Can I go now, then? Only I’ve got a letter to Sirius I want to finish. You know: my godfather.”

 

“You’re - you’re writing to him, are you?” his father said in a would-be calm voice.

 

“Well - yeah,” Harry said casually. “It’s been a while since he heard from me, and, you know, if he doesn’t he might start thinking something’s wrong.”

 

“Well, all right then. You can go to this ruddy… this stupid… this World Cup thing. You write and tell these - these Weasleys they’re to pick you up, mind. I haven’t got time to go dropping you off all over the country. And you can spend the rest of the summer there. And you can tell your - your godfather… tell him… tell him you’re going.”

 

 “Okay then,” Harry said brightly.

 

Then Dudley heard Harry’s footsteps in his too big shoes coming towards the door.

 

He scurried to try to get out of the way but failed…

 

Harry nearly walked right into him.

 

Damn it! Could nothing ever go right for him?

 

Dudley looked shocked, not to see the broad grin on Harry’s face but that he’d gotten caught spying.

 

“That was an excellent breakfast, wasn’t it?” said Harry. “I feel really full, don’t you?”

 

Laughing at him, Dudley watched as Harry took the stairs three at a time, no doubt heading back to his bedroom.

 

If that dump could be called that with all his old junk in it…

 

XoooooX

 

The atmosphere inside number four, Privet Drive was extremely tense. The imminent arrival at their house of an assortment of wizards was making his parents uptight and irritable.

 

His father had looked downright alarmed when Harry informed him at dinner last night that the Weasleys would be arriving at five o’clock the very next day.

 

‘I hope you told them to dress properly, these people,” he snarled at once. “I’ve seen the sort of stuff your lot wear. They’d better have the decency to put on normal clothes, that’s all.’ Had been his father’s acidic response…

 

The alarm in Harry’s eyes made Dudley worry all over again…

 

Lunch was an almost silent meal.

 

Dudley didn’t even bother protesting at the food which was a nasty concoction of cottage cheese and grated celery.

 

His mother hadn’t been eating anything at all that day. Her arms were folded, her lips were pursed, and she seemed to be chewing her tongue, as though biting back the furious diatribe she clearly longed to throw at Harry.

 

“They’ll be driving, of course?” his father barked across the table.

 

“Er,” Harry began, “I think so.”

 

His father snorted into his mustache. Normally, his father would have asked what car man drove; he tended to judge other men by how big and expensive their cars were.

 

That didn’t make Dudley feel any better about wizards coming to their house.

 

At four o’clock his father had gone up to put on his best suit. To some people, this might have looked like a gesture of welcome, but Dudley knew it was because his boarish father wanted to look impressive and intimidating.

 

Dudley, on the other hand wanted to look as small as possible which was nigh impossible with his sheer size. This was due to fright. Dudley had to his imminent embarrassment had emerged from his last encounter with a fully grown wizard with a curly pig’s tail poking out of the seat of his trousers, and his father had had to pay for its removal at a private hospital in London. It wasn’t altogether surprising, therefore, that Dudley kept running his hand nervously over his arse, and walking sideways from room to room, so as not to present the same target to the enemy whether they had arrived or not.

 

Harry spent most of the afternoon in his bedroom; not that Dudley blamed him. Personally he couldn’t stand watching his mother peer out through the net curtains every few seconds, as though there had been a warning about an escaped rhinoceros.

 

Harry finally returned downstairs at a quarter to five.

 

His mother was compulsively straightening cushions while his father was pretending to read the paper, but his eyes were not moving so Dudley was sure he was really listening for the sound of an approaching car.

 

Dudley was currently crammed into an armchair, his porky hands beneath him, clamped firmly around his bottom. He felt ridiculous, but could one really blame him?

 

Harry clearly couldn’t take the tension; so he left the room and Dudley heard him sit on the stairs in the hall. 

 

But five o’clock came and then went. Dudley watched his father who was perspiring slightly in his suit leave the living room. He heard opened the front door and then shut just as quickly.

 

“They’re late!” his father snarled at Harry.

 

“I know,” Harry muttered “Maybe - er - the traffic’s bad, or something.”

 

Ten past five…

 

Then a quarter past five…

 

At half past, Dudley listened to his parents conversing in terse mutters in the living room.

 

“No consideration at all.” His father grumbled.

 

“We might’ve had a prior engagement.” His mother tutted, “Maybe they think they’ll get invited to dinner if they’re late.”

 

“Well, they most certainly won’t be,” his father scowled.

 

Dudley watched him stand up and start pacing the living room. “They’ll take the boy and go; there’ll be no hanging around. That’s if they’re coming at all. Probably mistaken the day. I daresay their kind don’t set much store by punctuality. Either that or they drive some tin-pot car that’s broken d- AAAAAAARRRRRGH!” his father yelled.

 

Loud banging and scraping was coming from behind their boarded-up fireplace, which had a fake coal fire plugged in front of it.

 

Dudley and his parents were quickly scrambling, panic-stricken, across the room.

 

Not wanting to stay another second, Dudley came flying into the hall, looking terrified.

 

Harry had jumped up and Dudley had to veer awkwardly to avoid him.

 

“What happened?” Harry asked. “What’s the matter?”

 

But Dudley wasn’t able to talk, his hands still clamped over his arse, he moved as fast as he could into the kitchen while he heard Harry hurry into the living room.

 

The noise got louder…

 

Dudley was half tempted to try hiding beneath the table…

 

“What is it?” his mother gasped, “What is it, Vernon?”

 

But they were left in doubt barely a second longer because voices could be heard from what sounded like inside the blocked fireplace. 

 

“Ouch! Fred, no - go back, go back, there’s been some kind of mistake – tell George not to - OUCH! George, no, there’s no room, go back quickly and tell Ron-”

 

“Maybe Harry can hear us, Dad - maybe he’ll be able to let us out-”

 

There was a loud hammering of fists on the boards behind the electric fire.

 

“Harry? Harry, can you hear us?”

 

Dudley tip-toed out of the kitchen in time to see his parents rounded on Harry like a pair of angry lions.

 

“What is this?” his father growled, “What’s going on?”

 

“They - they’ve tried to get here by Floo powder,” Harry said looking like he was fighting a mad desire to laugh. “They can travel by fire - only you’ve blocked the fireplace – hang on -” He approached the fireplace and called through the boards.

 

“Mr. Weasley? Can you hear me?”

 

The hammering stopped.

 

Somebody inside the chimney said, “Shh!”

 

“Mr. Weasley, its Harry… the fireplace has been blocked up. You won’t be able to get through there.”

 

“Damn!” said a man’s voice. “What on earth did they want to block up the fireplace for?”

 

“They’ve got an electric fire,” Harry tried to explained.

 

“Really?” the man’s voice asked excitedly. “Eclectic, you say? With a plug? Gracious, I must see that… Let’s think… ouch, Ron!”

 

A younger slight familiar voice that grated on Dudley’s ears spoke up, “What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?”

 

“Oh no, Ron,” came another voice, very sarcastically. “No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up.”

 

“Yeah, we’re having the time of our lives here,” came another whose voice sounded muffled, as though he was squashed against the wall.

 

“Boys, boys…” a man’s voice said vaguely. “I’m trying to think what to do… Yes… only way… Stand back, Harry.”

 

Harry retreated to the sofa.

 

Dudley watched his father however who moved forward. “Wait a moment!” he bellowed at the fire. “What exactly are you going to-”

 

BANG. 

 

The electric fire shot across the room as the boarded-up fireplace burst outward, expelling a man and three teenage boys with reddish hair in a cloud of rubble and loose chippings.

 

His mother shrieked and fell backward over the coffee table; luckily, his father caught her before she hit the floor.

 

His parents gaped, speechless, at the Weasleys, all of whom had reddish hair which including two who were seemingly identical to the last freckle.

 

“That’s better,” the man who must be Mr. Weasley panted, brushing dust from his long green robes and straightening his glasses. “Ah - you must be Harry’s aunt and uncle!”

 

Tall, thin, and balding, he moved toward his parents, his hand outstretched, but his father backed away several paces, practically dragging his mother.

 

Words had clearly utterly failed his father who in Dudley’s experience always had something to say about everything. His best suit was covered in white stone dust, which had settled in his hair and mustache and made him look as though he had just aged thirty years. At least he knew what his father would look like at that age if he lived that long, Dudley thought sourly, it would be just his luck his father lived forty more years just to torture him.

 

“Er - yes - sorry about that,” Mr. Weasley said, lowering his hand and looking over his shoulder at the blasted fireplace. “It’s all my fault. It just didn’t occur to me that we wouldn’t be able to get out at the other end. I had your fireplace connected to the Floo Network, you see - just for an afternoon, you know, so we could get Harry. Muggle fireplaces aren’t supposed to be connected, strictly speaking - but I’ve got a useful contact at the Floo Regulation Panel and he fixed it for me. I can put it right in a jiffy, though, don’t worry. I’ll light a fire to send the boys back, and then I can repair your fireplace before I Disapparate.”

 

His parents were still gaping at Mr. Weasley, thunderstruck. His mother staggered upright again and hid behind his father, given that she was a stick and he was decidedly not, he made a great wall.

 

Dudley recognized the boys as the ones from the flying car two years ago…

 

“Hello, Harry!” Mr. Weasley said brightly. “Got your trunk ready?”

 

“It’s upstairs,” Harry said, grinning back.

 

There was something about them that made Harry quite happy, Dudley hadn’t seen him like that before.

 

“We’ll get it,” one of the twins said at once. Winking at Harry, the twins left the room.

 

“Well,” Mr. Weasley said, swinging his arms slightly, while he tried to find words to break the very nasty silence. “Very - erm - very nice place you’ve got here.”

 

His mother’s the usually spotless (which was usually cleaned by Harry) living room was now covered in dust and bits of brick, so was it any wonder that this remark didn’t go down too well with his parents. His father’s face purpled once more, and mother started chewing her tongue again. However, they seemed too scared to actually say anything.

 

Good, Dudley thought darkly. The last time his father mouthed off to a wizard he ended up with a pig tail.

 

Mr. Weasley was looking around. “They run off eckeltricity, do they?” he said knowledgeably. “Ah yes, I can see the plugs. I collect plugs,” he added talking to his father. “And batteries. Got a very large collection of batteries. My wife thinks I’m mad, but there you are.”

 

His father clearly thought Mr. Weasley was mad too because he moved ever so slightly to the right, screening his mother from view, as though he thought Mr. Weasley might suddenly run at them and attack.

 

Dudley decided to reappear in the room because he could hear the clunk of Harry’s trunk on the stairs. Dudley was slightly interested in these people, but he didn’t want to admit that the sounds had scared him out of the kitchen.

 

Dudley edged along the wall, gazing at Mr. Weasley slightly terrified, and attempted to conceal himself behind his parents. Unfortunately, his father’s bulk, while sufficient to hide his bony mother, was nowhere near enough to conceal him.

 

“Ah, this is your cousin, is it, Harry?” said Mr. Weasley, taking another brave stab at making conversation.

 

“Yep,” Harry said, “that’s Dudley.”

 

Harry and the younger familiar boy exchanged glances and then quickly looked away from each other.

 

Dudley was still clutching his arse as though afraid it might fall off.

 

Mr. Weasley looked genuinely concerned at his peculiar behavior. Indeed, from the tone of his voice when he next spoke, Dudley was painfully embarrassed that this Mr. Weasley thought his was quite as mad as his parents thought the man was, except that Mr. Weasley looked as if he felt sympathy rather than fear.

 

“Having a good holiday, Dudley?” he asked kindly.

 

Dudley whimpered, “Err…yes?” his hands tightening still harder over his massive backside.

 

The twins came back into the room carrying Harry’s school trunk. They glanced around as they entered and spotted Dudley.

 

Dudley was slightly horrified as their faces cracked into identical evil grins.

 

“Ah, right,” Mr. Weasley said. “Better get cracking then.” 

 

He pushed up the sleeves of his robes and took out his wand. Dudley and his parents draw back against the wall together.

 

“Incendio!” Mr. Weasley said, pointing what Dudley assumed was his wand at the hole in the wall behind him.

 

Flames rose at once in what passed for their fireplace, crackling merrily as though they had been burning for hours.

 

If one ignored the brick dust and ash everywhere, it would have been a rather nice picture, Dudley thought…

 

Mr. Weasley took a small drawstring bag from his pocket. He untied it taking a pinch of the powder inside, and threw it onto the flames, which immediately turned emerald green and roared higher than ever.

 

“Off you go then, Fred,” Mr. Weasley said addressing one of the twins.

 

“Coming,” Fred said. “Oh no - hang on -”

 

A bag of sweets had spilled out of ‘Fred’s’ pocket and the contents were now rolling in every direction - big, fat toffees in brightly colored wrappers. Fred scrambled around, cramming them back into his pocket, before giving them a cheery wave, he stepped forward, and walked right into the fire, saying “the Burrow!”

 

Dudley was interested and peeked around his father more, ignoring his mother who gave a little shuddering gasp.

 

There was a whooshing sound, and Fred vanished.

 

“Right then, George,” Mr. Weasley said, “you and the trunk.”

 

His cousin helped ‘George’ carry the trunk forward into the flames and turn it onto its end so that he could hold it better. Then, with a second whoosh, George had cried “the Burrow!” and vanished too.

 

“Ron, you next,” Mr. Weasley said.

 

“See you,” ‘Ron’ said brightly to them, he grinned broadly at Harry and then stepped into the fire where he shouted “The Burrow!” and disappeared.

 

Now only Harry and Mr. Weasley remained. 

 

“Well… ‘bye then,” Harry said to them.

 

They didn’t say anything at all.

 

Harry moved toward the fire, but just as he reached the edge of the hearth, Mr. Weasley put out a hand and held him back. He was looking at Dudley and his parents in what seemed to be amazement.

 

“Harry said good-bye to you,” the man said. “Didn’t you hear him?”

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Harry muttered to Mr. Weasley. “Honestly, I don’t care.”

 

Mr. Weasley did not remove his hand from Harry’s shoulder. “You aren’t going to see your nephew till next summer,” he said to his father what appeared to be in mild indignation. “Surely you’re going to say good-bye?”

 

His father’s face twitched furiously and purpled more. The idea of being taught consideration by a man who had just blasted away half his living room wall seemed to be causing him intense suffering- which Dudley sourly after his own ruined summer plans, felt that he deserved.

 

But Mr. Weasley’s wand was still in his hand, and his father’s piggy eyes darted to it once, before he said, very resentfully, “Good-bye, then.”

 

“See you,” said Harry, putting one foot forward into the green flames, which seemed to be no more dangerous than their electric fire.

 

Dudley had smelt one of those toffees that ‘Fred’ dropped, he shouldn’t have done it probably. But he loved sweets and he had been denied them all summer. It was part curiousity and part defiance that had him kneeling beside the coffee table and cramming the toffee in his mouth.

 

Immediately he made horrible gagging sound and his mother started to scream.

 

Dudley vaguely noticed Harry had wheeled around and was staring at him.

 

Dudley was busy gagging and sputtering on a foot-long, purple, slimy thing that was protruding from his mouth.

 

His mother hurled herself onto the ground beside Dudley, seized the end of his swollen tongue, and attempted to wrench it out of his mouth.

 

In horror, Dudley yelled and sputtered worse than ever, trying to fight her off without actually hurting her because he could.

 

His father was bellowing and waving his arms around.

 

Mr. Weasley had to shout to make himself heard. “Not to worry, I can sort him out!” he yelled as he moved towards Dudley with his wand outstretched

 

In response his idiotic mother screamed worse than ever and threw herself on top of Dudley, in a foolish attempt at shielding him from Mr. Weasley.

 

 “No, really!” Mr. Weasley said desperately. “It’s a simple process it was the toffee - my son Fred - real practical joker - but it’s only an Engorgement Charm - at least, I think it is - please, I can correct it -”

 

But far from being reassured, the his parents became more panic-stricken; his mother sobbing hysterically, tugging his tongue as though determined to rip it out.

 

Dudley was suffocating under the combined pressure of his mother and his tongue.

 

His father who had lost control completely, seized a china figure from on top of the sideboard and threw it very hard at Mr. Weasley, who ducked, causing the ornament to shatter in the blasted fireplace. 

 

“Now really!” Mr. Weasley said angrily, brandishing his wand. “I’m trying to help!”

 

Bellowing like a wounded hippo, his father snatched up another ornament. 

 

“Harry, go! Just go!” Mr. Weasley shouted his wand on Uncle Vernon. “I’ll sort this out!”

 

Dudley could barely see Harry who was still standing in the fireplace watching. His cousin seemed to want to stay and watch his misery until the second figurine his father tossed almost hit him.

 

Then Mr. Weasley was blasting a third ornament out of his father’s hand with his wand.

 

His mother was still screaming and lying on top of him, and Dudley’s tongue was lolling around like a great slimy python.

 

Finally Dudley had enough he sat up and pushed his mother off shoving her up onto the sofa so he could try to breath. He glared at his father and weakly gestured at Mr. Weasley.

 

His father looked at him as if he’d gone mad.

 

His mother had at least stopped screaming…

 

Mr. Weasley pointed his wand at him and Dudley wondered if he’d made a mistake after all.

 

“Finite.”

 

Immediately, his tongue went back to normal.

 

Dudley leaned heavily on the coffee table and took large gasping breaths. Finally, he looked up at the man and swallowed, “Uh thanks?”

 

The man nodded stiffly, “Sorry about that, my son likes to pull pranks. He’ll be in a lot of trouble when his mother finds out what he did. I don’t relish being him if she does.” He bowed to Dudley’s parents, “I’ll clean this up and be gone.”

 

Mr. Weasley waved his wand in the direction of the fireplace and the dust disappeared, the boards returned to their former place blocking the fireplace.

 

The ornaments that his father broke were repaired and returned to their former place.

 

Once the room looked more like it had before the Weasleys arrived, the man bowed again.

 

“Sorry for the trouble. Thank you for letting Harry come for a visit.”

 

Then there was a slight popping noise and the man disappeared.

 

His parents stared at the spot the man had been.

 

His father started to shake, “The audacity of some persons. He shows up late, makes a horrendous mess. Ruins my best suit, tells me off and lets his monster of a son try to poison my boy? I hope those brats poison that freak. Just wait until I see him!”

 

His mother laid down on the couch as if she’d fainted.

 

“Don’t forget,” Dudley said sharply, “if you mistreat him, he’ll just write to his godfather and instead of Harry killing us in our sleep like Aunt Marge thinks, he’ll do it.”

 

His father turned on him, “Are you siding with those freaks? Have you forgotten what they’ve done to you?”

 

Dudley snorted, “No, the first time was your fault. You didn’t know when to shut up. If that giant person had been holding a gun instead of a wand would you have talked like that? I doubt it. Thanks to you I had a pig’s tail. This time was probably my fault; I shouldn’t have eaten that toffee. I should have known that Fred person was up to something when he conveniently dropped candy in front of me. Harry probably mentioned my diet or how I’ve treated him. So it was probably a bit of revenge…I wonder what sort of person Harry is if he inspires that sort of loyalty.”

 

“Those freaks,” his father started.

 

“Have nothing to do with us really, they go their way mostly and we go our right? If we leave them alone, they mind their own business and they took Harry off your hands, didn’t they? You’re Harry-free until July. You’ll be childless in September and you can go about your business without worrying about us because we’re at school.” Dudley snapped and then left his unconscious mother and his irate father alone.

 

Actually telling his father off felt good really…

 

Lucky Harry had someone to spend the summer with…

 

Dudley never got that and he was jealous…

 

 


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 

Dudley jauntily waved at his parents, jumping out of the car- well stumbling out really. He banged on the boot.

 

His father popped it.

 

Dudley hauled out his own trunk- suitcase really and his computer bag/backpack. He stalked off glad to see the last of them really…

 

He ignored his mother’s weepy farewell as his father drove away.

 

He’d stuck to the diet because he knew it pissed his father off and he’d gone for walks to the park to hang out with his friends to get out of the house.

 

It was quieter with Harry and his father had been insufferable since he’d told him off.

 

His mother pretended the incident with the damn toffee never happened.

 

Dudley plodded his way to the house where he lived during term in a room he shared with Jason and Piers, to his glee his friends were already there and putting away their stuff.

 

Dudley claimed his usual bed which was the farthest from the door.

 

Soon Jason and Piers’ blabbering about how horrible their summers were got on his nerves, Dudley finished putting his stuff away and went for a walk.

 

He was entering the house’s atrium when a familiar voice called out, “Mr. Dursley.”

 

Dudley stiffened, “Mr. Ryan.”

 

“I wanted to speak to you Mr. Dursley.” Mr. Ryan was the man who oversaw their boarding house on Smeltings’ property.

 

Dudley nodded, “Of course sir.”

 

He followed the Housemaster to his office.

 

“Have a seat Mr. Dursley.” The housemaster droned.

 

Dudley sat gingerly, a skill he’d learned after his mother had to replace a settee and an armchair due to his and his father’s constant habit of plopping which of course had been blamed on his cousin who usually sat on the floor…

 

“Since you’re fourteen now, you’ll be receiving invitations to St. Mary’s school for tea and social events. This is a privilege Mr. Dursley, if your behaviour in away embarrasses this school we will be removing you from the list. You’ve done relatively well academically, with slight improvements over the years. Not as much as we’d hoped but at least you took the initiative of getting tutoring on your own.” Housemaster Ryan frowned.

 

Dudley flinched, “I’ll work hard. I would probably be a more studious individual if I were allowed to choose my own electives. My father is more stubborn then I am.”

 

“If I hear one report of bullying or even a hint of possible intimidation Mr. Dursley, your name will not be submitted with the others. I trust you’ll keep an eye on your friend Mr. Polkiss to see that he is whiter then white?”

 

Dudley nodded; he planned to find some ‘acceptable’ outlet for his frustration. Copying his father was only getting him into trouble and well he didn’t want to be a man like his father.

 

“That’s settled then. We’ll be invited to an autumn social next month, I expect you to behave like the proper young man your mother claims you are.” The Housemaster sniffed

 

Dudley rose, bowed slightly and made his excuses before leaving the room to walk to clear his head.

 

XoooooX

 

Dudley wasn’t losing weight as fast as he would like…

 

He was looking for a more physically active club to offset his robotic team.

 

His father was a wrestler in school but Dudley really wasn’t interested in that.

 

There was an all years assembly on the first Friday of instruction.

 

Dudley was going into his second year with the robotics team so he’d been made a team captain of one of the junior high teams. His instructor had asked him to stand with the lower age division members; they were trying to recruit more students in his year and the one below at least.

 

Many of the members of the lower division were promoted to the high school team when they aged out if they stayed involved.

 

It wasn’t the wrestling team that caught Dudley’s attention; it was the boxing team…

 

Dudley took note of the club’s meeting times and was pleased to find that it didn’t seem to conflict with his robotics club….

 

Dudley decided to attend the open meeting at lunch on Monday.

 

XoooooX

 

Dudley only grabbed a sandwich on Monday, an ABLT, he was getting surprisingly fond of them.

 

He took an awkward seat on a folding chair when he arrived.

 

“I’m James Meeker, our beloved Smeltings most well-known boxer. I’m the face of the team really.” A tall almost arrogant boy sneered. “There are some of you who may have some talent at boxing; while other will serve as corner assistants, towel boys and spit bucket boys.”

 

Dudley snorted.

 

“I think we have a volunteer for a demonstration.” Meeker smirked, pointing at Dudley. “Name?”

 

Dudley rose and stretched, “Dudley Dursley, a fourth year. My father is an alumni but he was a wrestler. I’m interested in trying something different.”

 

“Dursley?” Meeker sniggered.

 

Dudley scowled, “I didn’t choose it. What sort of a name is Meeker? You’re not very meek are you?”

 

Meeker stiffened, “Jackson glove up our volunteer. Michaels will glove me up.”

 

Two skinny skittish boys who reminded Dudley a bit of Harry back at St. Gregory’s scurried forward.

 

For some reason their behaviour in regards to Meeker made him inexplicably angry.

 

Jackson gestured timidly for Dudley to follow him.

 

Dudley nodded and followed him closely to a storeroom of some sort.

 

He was then handed a basketball-style shirt and shorts.

 

Dudley proceeded to changed quickly, asking quietly, “So any advice?”

 

The boy blinked at him, “What?” his hands full of gauze and tape.

 

Dudley smirked, “You’ve watched him fight before; tell me does he favour a side, a particular move or anything?”

 

“Uh…Meeker’s right side is weaker since he took an elbow to the shoulder. His signature move was a right roundhouse but he’s fallen back to his left hook.” Jackson offered as he began to wrap Dudley’s hands.

 

Once Jackson finished, Dudley asked politely, “Demonstrate please?”

 

“Jab, hook, upper cut, roundhouse, right cross and straight right are basic punches. They can be done in combos but don’t ever punch with your thumb in your fist when fighting barehanded, you will break your thumb and that’s bitch you know? Don’t punch the temple or back of the neck, you don’t want to kill them and you look like you’d hit with a lot of force. If you aim for the nose go at an angle because you don’t want to drive the nose into the brain, a palm is best for a nose shot and will normally distract your opponent.”

 

“Well Meeker’s ready.” The boy called Michaels said coming into the room.

 

“So am I.” Dudley smirked, “Jackson’s been a big help.”

 

“Come on then. Meeker doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”

 

Dudley snickered, “Oh yes, almighty Meeker mustn’t be inconvenienced.” Dudley thought that he’d like to teach that cad a lesson.

 

He followed Jackson and Michaels out of the storeroom, he watched them both share a pained glance.

 

“Come on Dursley, don’t be a sissy about this. Let me show you how a real man fights.” Meeker said punching a hand.

 

Dudley grinned, “By all means, I came here to learn boxing. My father wouldn’t want a nancy for a son.

 

Jackson and Michaels flinched.

 

Dudley filed that away as he slipped under the ropes.

 

The man Dudley assumed was the coach/club advisor looked like one of the social science teachers asked, “Ear protectors?”

 

Dudley smirked, “Don’t need one for this. You want one Meeker?”

 

Meeker glared, “Why? It’s just an exhibition match to get more members.”

 

Dudley shifted his weight in imitation of Harry during one of his father’s lectures in which Vernon would swing his fists as if he were going to hit him.

 

Some of the other boys started giggling at him calling him a whale.

 

“Wasn’t that Dursley?”

 

“Do you want to see Meeker fall or Dursley?”

 

“Who do you want to see taught a lesson? Meeker or Dursley?”

 

Dudley winked at a frowning Jackson who stumbled back into Michaels who caught him and held onto him a little longer then normal.

 

They didn’t separate until a glare from Meeker.

 

“Coach ring the bell.” Meeker drawled.

 

Dudley grinned at him, “Want the first punch?”

 

“You should get that.” Meeker grumbled.

 

Dudley nodded, “Alright it you insist.” Dudley’s expression changed as he looked at Meeker just as the coach rang the bell. He gave him look he used to give Harry just before ‘Harry Hunting’. A look that a cat gives to his prey just before he pounced; likewise he brought up a left hook.

 

Meeker stumbled back.

 

Dudley caught him in the jaw and he went down because of the force of the punch and being off balance.

 

Meeker blinked up at him, “Dur…Dursley?”

 

Dudley stepped back, “Must have been a fluke. Start over?”

 

Meeker scowled getting up, “We’ll go for real this time.”

 

Dudley nodded, “Alright.”

 

They immediately took defensive stances.

 

The bell went off again.

 

As it did, Dudley noticed Meeker’s body language.

 

A punch was coming from Meeker’s left…

 

Dudley dodged right and back to avoid the blow he saw coming before the punch was ever thrown. He immediately threw a roundhouse with his left and punched a jab with his right that ended up impacting Meeker’s bad shoulder.

 

Actually the roundhouse ‘accidentally’ sent Meeker into the path of his fist.

 

Meeker fell over clutching his shoulder.

 

He felt more pleased at teaching Meeker a lesson then his childhood bullying of Harry. He thought that he quite liked boxing…

 

The other boys started counting…

 

Meeker lay on the floor of the ring cursing but didn’t rise.

 

Dudley hear threats against Jackson and scowled, he learned over ‘to help Meeker’. He hissed, “Touch that kid and this will seem like nothing. Ever heard the phrase ‘you catch more flies with honey?’ try being nice sometime you jerk.”

 

Meeker glared at him.

 

Dudley grabbed Meeker’s wrist in a strangle hold and roughly hauled the git to his feet. “Are you alright? Mum says I’m just a boisterous boy who doesn’t know his own strength. I guess she’s right…”

 

Meeker stalked off like an offended cat.

 

Before Meeker could say anything, Dudley called out, “Jackson, Michaels give a bloke a hand will you?”

 

The boys scurried over and began unwrapping his hands.

 

The coach ignored Meeker and approached Dudley, “That was fantastic! Have you ever boxed before?”

 

Dudley shook his head, “No sir.”

 

“The way those fists of yours flew I thought I was looking at Muhammad Ali. That Jab was out of nowhere! How did you get out of the way of his left hook?” The coach asked.

 

Dudley had never gotten praise for beating someone up before, well if beating up guys like Meeker was more fun then picking on guys like Harry why not?

 

Boxing might become more fun then ‘Harry Hunting’…

 

XoooooX

 

Dudley had his best suit and well he was keener on being ‘an angel’, ‘a fine gentleman’ and any of those blathering comments his mother used to describe him to others.

 

It was the first event between St. Mary’s and Smeltings that he’d been invited to and well Dudley had no intention of embarrassing himself, his Housemaster or Smeltings.

 

They rode over in carriages surprisingly.

 

As they entered St. Mary’s, there were girls lined up on either side of the hall and once the door shut behind them they all curtsied as one.

 

“Good Afternoon. Thank you for coming. Welcome to St. Mary’s.” the girls all said together. 

 

Their headmaster Miles Doohan clapped his hands, “Boys?”

 

Dudley joined his fellow Smeltings brothers bowing.

 

“Good Afternoon. Thank you for inviting us.”

 

Dudley was surprised at how pretty and well-mannered all off the girls seemed to be…

 

A girl came up to each of them and curtseyed.

 

Dudley swallowed when a blonde girl in one of the St. Mary’s girls blue dresses approached him.

 

“Mr. Dursley? I’m Jasmine St. Clair.”

 

“Dudley Dursley.” Dudley said swallowing.

 

“Call me Jasmine.” The girl said with a wink.

 

Dudley grinned back at her, “Then call me Dudley.”

 

“If you like. Would you like to walk on the terrace with me?” Jasmine asked.

 

Dudley nodded, “Sure.”

 

They stopped long enough for Jasmine to fetch a cardigan from behind one of chairs.

 

Dudley offered her his arm like a gentleman and she slipped her arm through it.

 

They headed outside.

 

Jasmine glared at the assembled girls, “They’ll all be good girls and stay inside. Not an ounce of imagination in most of them.”

 

Dudley blinked at her, “Are you alright?”

 

“Swell.” Jasmine grinned, “I just have no interest in being a Stepford thank you. I want to spread my wings and enjoy life. My mother was a St. Mary’s girl and father was a Smeltings boy. They want me to marry a Smeltings boy, no thank you. I’ve seen them, they’re a dreary lot. I want to go to college, have fun and maybe study art. Mum wants me to get married right after I graduate, she thinks I’ll be a perfect wife. Father just wants a son-in-law who is a Smeltings.”

 

“I don’t know what mum was but I know father went to Smeltings.” Dudley scowled, “I know what you mean; my father picks out my classes and won’t let me attend summer workshops. He even uses mum as an excuse why I can’t.”

 

“Mother hates that I ride competitively and hopes that my future husband will put a stop to it. She’s just so _gothic_ what she think this is? The fifties?”  Jasmine sniffed, “Even Mary Tyler Moore and Lucy had minds of their own on Dick Van Dyck and I Love Lucy!”

 

“I think that knowing one’s mind is admirable.” Dudley stammered.

 

“College an option for you?” Jasmine frowned.

 

Dudley groaned, “I’m afraid to ask. If college is anything like Smeltings, I’d rather not. Father wants me to work for Grunions and make drills, I actually like computers. I’m on the junior robotics team.”

 

“You do anything else?”

 

Dudley puffed up, “I’m on the boxing team?”

 

Jasmine smirked, “I’ll believe that…”

 

They chatted until Dudley’s Housemaster came to inform them that tea was served.

 

XoooooX

 

When World of Warcraft was released in fall 1994 of course they played it. Dudley couldn’t have his own account officially and have his parents pay for it. So Jason let him pay part of his own account and keep a character saved to it. They played WOW because it was so much cooler than Neverwinter Nights so those old characters were soon forgotten.

 

The game was awesome and he normally played a warrior Tauren; which was a version of a Minotaur only cooler.

 

Between school, WOW, robotics, boxing and social events with St. Mary’s Dudley’s schedule was packed.

 

As a second year robotics student Dudley designed the robots and found he was a fine programmer having natural talent really.

 

His father fumed when he learned that he’d gone to a tournament for robotics.

 

Of course having a robot that made it to fifth place and stayed there despite being paired with another school and having their scores averaged.  

 

The next weekend was boxing tournament.

 

Dudley won the fastest in Smelting history.

 

Being ‘friends’ with Jackson and Michaels was helpful…

 

Jackson was an encyclopedia of Boxing and Michaels was like a personal trainer, between the two he received great training and through knowledge of his opponents.

 

They also introduced him to smoking and the reality of gays.

 

His father hated gays but Dudley found because he liked Jackson and Michaels for themselves that he didn’t have anything against gays.

 

What he didn’t like was the behavior his father and Meeker portrayed…

 

The longer he spent with Jackson and Michaels the less he though that bullying was worth it.

 

This was a very life-altering year; Dudley didn’t think anything could top it…

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 

 

Once again like Harry he was trapped at Number Four Private Drive for the summer.

 

Piers had sort of joined the boxing club but wasn’t really a boxer. Yet he’d crowed about him to their old crowd.

 

One of their old crowd’s brother had challenged Dudley to a skins match.

 

So Dudley keen to prove himself accepted.

 

Eventually it was a nearly daily occurrence the street boxing.

 

Dudley received a portion of the bets if he won- which he usually did.

 

He told his mother that he was spending time with friends, it was better then being stuck in the house all day with food tempting him.

 

It seemed like an ordinary night when he made his way back from the park turning into the alley that was a short cut back home.

 

Harry darting out in front of him from nowhere wand raised wasn’t usual either.

 

"Dudley get down and close your mouth." His cousin hissed at him.

 

Dudley growled, "Get out of my way freak! I'll be late for dinner." The moment the word freak left his lips Dudley was pissed with himself.

 

Harry ignored him as he scanned the area with a frown, "This is my world here. A monster is here Dudley, the sort of monster that eats souls. I know you don't much care about me but have a thought for yourself; it will kill you if I let it. Personally, I'd rather not be accused of killing you."

 

 

 

Dudley would have been tempted not believe him but Harry seemed so confident and convinced, really a monster that ate souls?

 

Then cold filled the alley from both ends, a thick fog condensed around them. The indigo sky that was just beginning to shimmer with stars as they'd walked was blotted out like the shadow cast by a giant had fallen over them.

 

 

 

It wasn’t until the sky was blotted out and the very air seemed to made you think you were in a freezer that Dudley started to believe Harry.

 

Well unusual things tended to happen around his cousin; like shrinking jumpers, super growing hair, appearing on rooftops, disappearing glass and inflating aunts. Dudley shivered and stayed behind Harry...

 

Harry hissed, "Back against the wall Dudley. Cover your mouth! Don't open it! Whatever you do don't open it!"

 

Dudley didn't argue with him, the fact that he was pointing his wand away from him definitely had something to do with it. He’d played enough campaigns to know that one didn’t argue with someone who knew what you were facing.

 

"You know stories about grim reapers and boogie men? That's what's causing this. So stay still." Harry hissed out of the side of his mouth at him.

 

Dudley heard something; well two somethings take long deep rattling breaths, that seemed to suck more warmth out of him. Dudley backed up against the wall, shivering as he wrapped his beefy arms around his face, soul eating grim reapers? He didn't remember that from the Monster Manuals or from W.O.W.

 

"Hang the Restriction on Underage Sorcery!" Harry muttered, "Lumos."

 

Just what that was Dudley didn’t really know, he just knew that Harry had gotten a letter from the ‘Ministry of Magic’ for levitating his mother's sugared violet pudding when they were twelve about violating it.

 

The wand lit up the alley so brightly that that Dudley was almost blinded.

 

The darkness, well the ‘fog’ seemed to condense unnaturally at opposite ends of the alley. Now he was really frightened, maybe being magical wasn't great? He had no way to defend himself unlike during a campaign; he had no sword, no battle axe, not gauntlets, no armour and no spell-resistant hide. He was unarmed and relying on his tiny cousin to hold off a real monster that was invisible with a glorified _stick_!

 

Dudley anchored himself against the wall, content to let Harry battle the monster he couldn’t see. Had he the means of defending himself that his Tauren did he’d be trying to help. However a brawler type wasn’t much good against a monster that had to be defeated with spells he knew that.

 

"I don't think you can see them but I know you can feel them. Stay behind me. I'll keep them away."  Harry in a hissed whisper before he yelled, "Expecto Patronum!"

 

Bursting from Harry’s wand was a white light that quickly formed into a shimmering white stag.

 

The stag leapt at the first patch of condensed dark fog with his horns up and tossed something into the air before whirling and landing hooves first tackling the second patch of dark fog to the ground.

 

An ear piercing shriek rent the night though it felt more like a loud sucking sound before it seemed to smoke.

 

Soon there was nothing left of the fog but a scrap of rotting black fabric.

 

The stag looked bored, if that was possible for something made of light.

 

Then Harry talked to the stag and gave it an order strangely enough, "Find Padfoot. Tell him that there were Dementors in Little Whinging but I'm alright for now."

 

Who the hell was _Padfoot_? More importantly what was a _Padfoot_? How could they help? Were they another wizard? Was it like a server handle? A nickname? Dudley hadn't a clue...

 

The stag bowed and then leapt into the air.

 

The sky, stars and street lamps at the ends of the alley had popped back to life. They had always been there just beyond the foggy island of cold dark despair. The sight of them was like the promise of heaven.

 

Dudley then slid down the wall and was shivering, his arms still clamped over his mouth.

 

Then their neighbour and Harry's sometime babysitter Ms. Figg ran into the alley panting.  She looked panicked, her grey hair falling from its hairnet and her tartan carpet slippers were half off her feet. Clutched in her hand was a string shopping bag full of cat food cans.

 

Harry let out a pent up breath and began to slip his wand back into his back pocket.

 

She hissed at him, "No! Don't put it away! There might be more of them. I told Albus not to hire him. He's unreliable. Mundungus is nothing more than a sneaky thief."

 

Harry frowned at her, "Who?"

 

Dudley was surprised to see her and her manner was quite different then what he remembered from the few times their paths really crossed.

 

"Mundungus Fletcher is your Order Bodyguard. You think that Albus would leave you with You-Know-Who around without protection? Really leaving you to my care? Over a bunch of cauldrons that just happened to fall off a broom! You're more important then a handful of sickles. I'm going to beat him or better yet, mince him and feed him to my cats I will. Come along we've got to get you out of sight." Ms. Figg said wringing her hands.

 

'A sneak thief? Was that like a rogue?' Dudley wondered who would hire a rogue as bodyguard anyway?

 

Harry blinked at her but turned to Dudley, "The monsters are gone. It's okay to breathe now."

 

Dudley felt a bit ill; he was shaking as he unwrapped his huge arms from his face and took in great wheezing breaths.

 

Harry held out a hand, "Come on. In case the one that got away decides to come back, lets get out of here."

 

"To find a more defensible position." Dudley gasped out.

 

Harry stared at him.

 

"I pay Warcraft and D'nD!" Dudley growled, "I know that you don't want to get trapped in a place like this. Seriously, what a team to fight monsters with: a teenage wizard, a cat lady armed with a shopping bag filled with tin cans of cat food and me."

 

Harry snickered, "What would your parents say if they knew you played a game like that?"

 

"They shouldn't have bought me a computer for school." Dudley retorted weakly. "Everyone plays it at school.” Well in his dormitory anyway, his geeky buds Jackson and Michaels did as well, “Sort of like what is that game you play?"

 

"Quidditch it's played on a broom and I play for my House." Harry said dully.

 

The three unlikely companions made their way to Ms. Figg's at Number 7.

 

It was filled with cats that at closer glance seemed to have squashed faces

 

"I'm not a witch Harry; I don't know what to do." Ms. Figg said wringing her hands.

 

"Chocolate." Harry said frowning, "That's what Remus gave us it has a calming affect.”

 

"I can't have chocolate because Snowy's allergic to it and she adores it." Ms. Figg protested.

 

Sighing Harry called out, "Dobby?"

 

A strange pointy-eared creature dressed oddly appeared at once.

 

Dudley let out a girly scream making everyone else look at him oddly.

 

"We had a bit of a run in with Dementors. Would there be anyway we could get chocolate?" Harry asked ignoring Dudley.

 

The creature called Dobby grinned, "Dumbledore buy Dobby chocolate with his wages. Dobby gladly share." Then it disappeared with a pop.

 

Harry nodded, "I knew I heard the crack of apparition before."

 

"I told you that was Mundungus. He's never been very quiet about his Apparating. He likes to make an entrance and an exit. The useless fool." Ms. Figg spat.

 

Dobby came back with a large bar of chocolate.

 

Harry accepted it gratefully and broke off half for Dudley, "Since it's made the Muggle way I'm sure it's safe. I know Colin gave some to his dad before."

 

Dudley stared at the chocolate, it smelled so good but he’d been trying to stay away from sweets.

 

Harry smirked taking an indecently large bite, "See? It's not poisoned."

 

"What is that?" Dudley stammered pointing a large finger at the weird creature.

 

"I is being Dobby. You is Master Harry Potter's cousin. Master Harry Potter sir is the greatest of wizards and is very kind. Dobby is a house elf. A free house elf. I is liking being paid. Dobby hasn't many friends. Dobby is odd among his kind."

Harry sighed, "Just eat the chocolate Dudley."

 

Dudley, who never met a sweet he didn't like tore into the chocolate at once and moaned. "This is the best I've ever eaten."

 

Harry smirked, "I know."

 

Ms. Figg's door opened, the strong smell of alcohol and sweat filling the room.

 

A short man in a ragged overcoat with bandy legs entered a cloak over his arm. He was swaying. "Wot's up Figgy?"

 

Ms. Figg got in his face, "Dementors you lousy sneak thief! I told you not to leave your post. Now your charge is in a lot of trouble no doubt! Dementors. If you'd been here then you could have dealt with them and saved Harry the trouble."

 

"Ain't you the cousin?" the newcomer frowned.

 

Dudley sneered, "Yeah, what's it to you?"

 

"Ya cast magic in front of him?" Mundungus asked.

 

What sort of a name was that? It was worse then Dudley, did his parents hate him or something?

 

Harry snorted. "It may be a violation of the Decree against Underage Sorcery but it's hardly that bad. I probably saved his life. Dudley already knows about magic because he knows I'm a wizard."

 

Dudley nodded, "Yeah." He scowled at the disgusting man.

 

"You go do something useful and go tell Dumbledore." Ms. Figg snapped.

 

Mundungus stormed out.

 

Soon after a large tawny owl flew in Ms. Figg's open window.

 

It landed on Harry's shoulder and stuck its leg out.

 

Harry had a sick look on his face as he opened it.

 

Knowing Harry he wasn’t aware of it though…

 

Being naturally nosy, Dudley leaned over Harry’s shoulder and read. His eyes narrowing the longer he read…

 

'Dear Mr. Potter,

 

We have received intelligence that you performed the Patronus Charm at three minutes past nine this evening in a Muggle-inhabited area and in the presence of a Muggle.

 

The severity of this breach of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery has resulted in your expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ministry representatives will be calling at your place of residence shortly to destroy your wand.

 

As you have already received an official warning for a previous offence under Section 13 of the International Confederation of Warlocks' Statute of Secrecy, we regret to inform you that your presence is required at a disciplinary hearing at the Ministry of Magic at 9 a.m. on the twelfth of August.

 

Hoping you are well,

 

Yours sincerely,

 

Mafalda Hopkirk

Improper Use of Magic Office

Ministry of Magic'

 

Harry blinked probably at the reference to his wand.

 

Dudley watched as Harry looked at Dobby with narrowed eyes..

 

Harry glared, "I know you aren't allowed to have one. But take my wand to Sirius Black. I'd rather be without it then give it up to be snapped. I don't care what anyone says the Ministry isn't getting my wand."

 

Dobby swallowed nervously, "You know they'll kill Dobby if they find out."

 

"Who would tell? We've got a Muggle, a squib and an expelled wizard." Harry snarled. "Besides you owe me. It's your fault I got my room turned into a jail cell. You know you're the one who destroyed Aunt Petunia's crystal bowl."

 

Dobby wrung his long fingered hands. "Dobby take it but Dobby not touch it."

 

Harry tugged off his sweat and dirt stained t-shirt, "Keep that." He wrapped the wand in it, "Hurry!"

 

Dobby disappeared with a soft pop.

 

Dudley frowned, "That's not right! You got expelled for protecting me! You saved your own life. It's self-defence! I know I'm not very bright but even I know that you can defend yourself. Is this because you might have killed one?"

 

Harry snorted, "They're just mad because I used Magic in front of you."

 

"I already know about magic! That stupid giant man of a man gave me a pig's tail before remember? That was almost more traumatizing then this..." Dudley huffed, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and frowned at Ms. Figg, "Do you mind?"

 

She shrugged, "It's not illegal and you need to cool off."

 

Dudley lit it and then handed it to Harry, "You need it too. Start with small breaths. Don't breathe too deep at first."

 

That had been Michael’s advice when he gave him his first cigarette.

 

Harry took it, he stared at it a moment before he took a drag. He let out a sigh, "Damn, that feels nice."

 

"You try living as mum's pet. It's sick all her babyish nicknames. It's like I'm a dog or something. They don't know anything about me. You know what's funny? I'm not great at academics but I'm a whiz with computers. I'm designing my own games. I don't want to work for Dad at Grunions; I want to make video games. Maybe even work for Wizards of the Coast on a WOW expansion pack or a new game..." Dudley groused puffing away, thanks to Jackson, Michaels and surprising Jasmine he smoked casually.

 

"I don't know what I want to do years from now. I know its fifth year and I'm supposed to know but I don't. Not yet." Harry shrugged.

 

They were starting to relax when the next owl arrived.

 

Dudley glared at the bird, what sort of nonsense did those morons send now?

 

Harry opened it with a growled sigh, letting out the smoke he'd just inhaled.

 

 ‘Harry -

 

Dumbledore's just arrived at the Ministry and he's trying to sort it all out. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE'S HOUSE. DO NOT DO ANY MORE MAGIC. DO NOT SURRENDER YOUR WAND.

 

Arthur Weasley’

 

Mr. Weasley was the name of the gent who fixed his tongue after he was foolish enough to eat one of the toffees his son dropped. Really he should have used his brain to avoid that one.

 

Harry snorted. "Already did. Just not to them. I hate the lot of them." He crumbled the letter and threw it. He glared at the owl, "No reply. Dumbledore'll sort it out? Hah! Lock me up all summer and leave me here for first time in four years for my birthday and tell me to hang on? I'm sick of this. 'Keep your nose clean Harry.’ ‘Stay out of trouble Harry' Like Sirius would be a good boy and stay out of trouble! Sirius is innocent and Dumbledore didn't even try to get him off! If they have their wands it's got to be simple to check who blew up a fucking street!"

 

Dudley felt the unwelcome and slightly unnerving sensation of what felt like the acidic smell and the heavy pressure of a storm before it finally broke and rent the sky with lightening and thunder.  He shivered, a sort of spark left from Harry and leapt for him. He had a hard time breathing after that, it hit like a shock. The air around Harry felt a bit like being near a plasma static electricity ball they observed in science class...

 

"Well you better be heading back. Dudley's parents will be worried sick it's past dinner." Ms. Figg asked nervously.

 

The two boys sighed and left the house reluctantly. They both stared at Number Four with surprisingly equal loathing.

 

"You know when I have kids I won't spoil them. A guy wants a dad to tell him what he can't do, to tell him about rules and stuff. I've seen what sort of parents my friends have and I'm jealous. Mine just give me stuff and praise me but I don't think they really know me." Dudley muttered. The only thing his father willingly told him was what classes he had to take, that wasn’t the sort of wall he was looking for.

 

Harry chuckled, "You? With kids?"

 

Dudley coughed, "There is a girls’ school near mine. There is this really nice girl I've met through socials. I started boxing to get in shape. I'm a bit embarrassed about my weight but she seems to like me…"

 

"What if you have a magical kid?"

 

Dudley shrugged, "Not tell mum. I'd probably try to find you and get you to help. I'm... sort of sorry for being an arse to you. You saved my life from the dements..."

 

"Dementors." Harry corrected sullenly.

 

"Dementors." Dudley echoed. "I know I've been horrible but I don't think you're a waste of space anymore. I only picked on you because I was jealous, you were smart and the teachers praised you. The only class I did better in was Phys Ed."

 

Harry smirked, "Only because you made sure I was picked last."

 

They reluctantly crossed the street and made their way inside.

 

"Diddy?"

 

Dudley winced, "Hi mum. Is there any dinner left?"

 

"You're late! Harry! Didn't we send you fetch him?" his mother snapped, her bony hands on her equally bony hips.

 

Harry opened his mouth to speak.

 

"I talked too long with my friends. Harry tried to hurry me up but I ignored it. By the time I realized it was this late something bad happened." Dudley spoke up, trying to take the blame.

 

His father threw Harry to the ground roaring, "What did you do to my son?"

 

Dudley did something unexpected, standing up to his father physically for the first time as he snarled, "Get off him!" he threw his father down the hall, then leaned over and held out his hand, "You okay Harry Monsterslayer?"

 

His mother stared at him like he'd grown two heads.

 

"I'm used to it Big D." Harry shrugged.

 

Dudley realized that his cousin was shirtless, that his shirt would have protected him a bit and cushioned his fall. He’d fallen hard with no cushioning.

 

"It's not right." Dudley grumbled glaring daggers at his father. "When I said something bad happened that doesn't mean Harry did it." Dudley stayed in a defensive position between his parents and Harry. "There were these monsters that attacked us on the way home. Harry saved me! I couldn't see them but they were scary. They blotted out the sky, the stars and the streetlights; I couldn't even see my own hand. Then Harry pulled out his wand and told me to stay back. The monster would have sucked out my soul. Harry saved me and he even killed one of the Monsters. It was like being dropped in a frozen pond at night. It was cold and dark. It felt like all my happiness was being drained. Sort of like vampire drinks blood."

 

"You saved my Dudders from a Dementor?" his mother gasped.

 

Dudley flinched at the nickname.

 

Harry stared at her like he'd never see her before, "You know about Dementors?"

 

"What's a Demendor?" His father asked.

 

The three spoke as one, "Dementor."

 

"I heard - that awful boy - telling her about them - years ago," his mother said jerkily looking apologetically at his father. "They didn't get your...soul did they?"

 

Dudley snorted, "Of course not! Harry told me to shut up and cover my mouth. They didn't get within five feet of us. I didn't see them but I saw the shiny ghost deer thingy."

 

Harry blinked, "You can't see Dementors but you saw my patronus?"

 

"I saw dark smoke coming from the spots where the deer thing attacked. I think it tossed the first into the air and the other it tackled to the ground." Dudley frowned.

 

"So what's..."

 

An owl flew through the window interrupted them.

 

Harry snarled, "Not another one! Jerks. I'm surprised they haven't shown up yet. Morons at the Ministry! You'd think they'd actually investigate. They let me off last time! But noooo, just because I said You Know Who returned I'm the bad guy!"

 

The weird sensation of an impending lighting strike and deafening thunder had Dudley unnerved again.

 

Dudley watched as Harry tore open the letter, leaning over to peek.

 

‘Dear Mr. Potter,

 

Further to our letter of approximately twenty-two minutes ago, the Ministry of Magic has revised its decision to destroy your wand forthwith. You may retain your wand until your disciplinary hearing on the twelfth of August, at which time an official decision will be taken.

 

Following discussions with the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the Ministry has agreed that the question of your expulsion will also be decided at that time. You should therefore consider yourself suspended from school pending further enquiries.

 

With best wishes,

 

Yours sincerely,

 

Mafalda Hopkirk

Improper Use of Magic Office

Ministry of Magic'

 

Dudley sneered. "Idiots! So now you're 'suspended' not expelled. You save our lives and they want to punish you? What are they trolls?"

 

"You know Big D if you had an ounce of magic you'd make a fine member of my quest." Harry smirked.

 

Dudley punched him playfully in the shoulder grinning, "I'd take you any day." the moment he touched Harry he felt another shock this time stronger but Harry seemed to stop giving off the foreboding sensation of impending explosion.

 

His mother looked scandalised.

 

His father’s face was so purple it looked like his head would explode.

 

Another owl, but it looked like a flying mouse, it flew around darting like it had ADD or it was insane.

 

Harry caught the owl in his fist and took the letter.

 

"What now?" his father snapped. "I'm sick of these damn owls."

 

Dudley snorted, Harry was probably more sick of them when they bore such idiotic missives.

 

'Dobby just told us what's happened. What were you thinking giving up your wand to a house elf? Especially at a time like this? Don't leave the house again, whatever you do.

 

Hermione'

 

Dudley watched as Harry looked at the owl and it winked at him.

 

It wasn't an owl at all.

 

"Well...you should eat." His mother stammered.

 

"Yeah come on Harry." Dudley said slinging a friendly arm on his cousin’s shoulder.

 

They ate a strained late dinner.

 

His parents looked like they were in another world; his mother was clearly in shock while his father looked apoplectic.

 

Dudley dished himself and Harry decent plates of food. Technically, he gave Harry half his normal portion which made them even more visibly upset. Dudley ignored them, he needed to eat less anyway and god knew Harry needed more. At least it wasn’t going to waste…

 

"Hey Harry does your lot have old-fashioned notions about saving someone's life? We learned about it in Anthropology. It used to be believed that is you saved a life you owned them until they saved yours and you were even or something." Dudley asked between bites.

 

Harry shrugged, "I don't know. I've saved a few people and no one mentioned it before."

 

"You remember Dwayne and Eli who were a few years ahead of us in school?" Dudley frowned.

 

"Yeah." Harry said between bites.

 

"Remember that big fight they had during recess and then they were best friends?" Dudley said after a swallow of milk.

 

"Yeah why?" Harry frowned.

 

"That's you and me. Only you saved my life or at least my soul. You're a decent bloke. Don't let them kick you out of Hogwarts. You're happy there and you've got friends. You actually do your homework. I bet you could do anything you wanted if you want. Maybe you should teach those idiots a lesson." Dudley smirked.

 

Harry seemed to be thoughtful. "That might be fun. You know Dudley you might have an idea. Paint me into a corner and see what I do. Cage me and poke me with sticks I'll lash out."

 

The cousins ate dinner and then wandered up stairs.

 

"I've got two things of chocolate, you want one?" Harry asked boredly.

 

"Is it like the chocolate the elf had?" Dudley was practically drooling at the idea of more of that decadent chocolate. Even though he knew he should say no…

 

Harry nodded, "Two huge boxes."

 

Dudley grinned giving in, "Diet or no diet, I can't say no to chocolate."

 

Harry led him into his dreary room and popped up a loose floorboard. He pulled out one of the boxes of chocolate he was sent for his birthday.

 

"Consider it a late birthday present and a thanks for standing up for me." Harry handed it over.

 

"Where do you get them?" Dudley asked clutching the chocolate, he considering it a belated bribe or keeping his mother shut about the cakes last year.

 

"From Honeydukes. I'll buy you some before I head home next June." Harry smirked.

 

"Can't you send me some for Christmas or Easter?" Dudley whinged

 

"In some ways you haven't changed at all, still whinging for sweets." Harry snorted.

 

"Felt bad that day. You looked so out of place without anything. I did it on purpose 'case mum wouldn't get you anything." Dudley admitted ruefully.

 

"Huh?" Harry blinked.

 

"The Knickerbocker Glory." Dudley chuckled. "Consider it eleven years of birthday cake."

 

"What?" Harry stammered.

 

"I was embarrassed you weren't getting anything so I made a stink about not having enough ice cream. What did I get for my trouble? A pig's tail." Dudley grumbled.

 

"Can Dobby talk now?" The owl asked.

 

Harry smirked, "You still an owl?"

 

The ‘owl’ smirked, "No." he changed back, "They're going get you tomorrow night. Dobby overheard them arguing after Dobby handed over the thing." Dobby shivered. "Your Padfoot was gonna kill Dobby. If Hermy hadn't said Dobby was a friend they would have. Dobby hand over thing. They start yelling. Dobby tell that Master Harry Potter give it over for safekeeping. They yell more. Then they decide you must be taken tomorrow.

 

"About freaking time. They're late this year. Some friends. I've heard more from Hermione then Ron. Ron's keeps trying to sound important but Hermione sounds upset she can't talk. My birthday present was writing in Hermione's handwriting. It said from Ron and Hermione but it wasn't. Ron actually forgot my birthday after I forgave him for his abandoning me and calling me a cheater last year. I 'save' him from the Black Lake and he calls me an idiot. What a waste of time that was, especially since he was never in danger geez." Harry grumbled.

 

"So he's leaving tomorrow? What time?" Dudley frowned.

 

"Dinner?" Dobby offered. "Having issues trying to figure how to get them out of the house."

 

Dudley smirked tapping his box of chocolate, "Tell them I'll handle it. I'll start a hue and cry about waiting to eat out. They won't want to believe tonight happened or that we're friends. Clean up this mess Harry. I'll bring you the spare key to your lock in the morning, as Dad's going to want to lock you in. Make sure you eat decent. We studied the effects of anorexia in health class. Sorry Harry I didn't realize the health issues of missing meals before. That's why I try to leave extra. If I'd known Jasmine before I'd have stuck to the diet the school nurse put me on. I'm just eating less and trying to get exercise. I don't exactly beat up kids; I challenge their elder brothers to street fights. That boxing match I won the guy was out cold for over half an hour. If I punched a kid I'd probably kill them."

 

Harry sighed, "Pack? Is getting out of here tomorrow what are they getting at? Leaving me locked up and kept in the dark with regards to what's going on and now they'll let me out? No offence Dudley but this house is hell."

 

"That's why I'm going to tutoring after school and I'm in study groups. I'm going to go to college so I can get away from this house." Dudley nodded. Between boxing and robotics he hoped he could get a scholarship…

 

"Dobby tell that Mister Dudley get the weird mean Muggles out."

 

"Thanks Dobby. Tell them I'd really like some answers." Harry snorted.

 

"Well I'm going to turn in. Between the fight and the Dementor I'm beat. Have a good summer Harry and make sure you get off clean. You need me; you know where I'll be." Dudley said holding out his hand.

 

"Doubt they'll listen to a Muggle. They tend to dislike and not trust you." Harry scowled but shook the offered hand.

 

"So did you. But you saved me." Dudley retorted.

 

"Good point Big D."

 

"Night."

 

Dudley was still reeling as he held onto his box of chocolate.

 

He and Harry were tentative friends, his cousin was suspended from Hogwarts and he was going to be taken away tomorrow?

 

The world seemed very tilted right now...

 

XoooooX

Dudley was tossing and turning…

 

_It was hard to breathe…_

 

_Smoke was everywhere…_

_A baby was crying…_

_“MUMI! WANTS MUMI! DADI COME! HARRY WANT MUMI AND DADI!!”_

_It sounded like Harry…_

_Dudley coughed sitting up in his crib, smoke…_

_There was a fire?_

_His mother ran into the room, a wet scarf over her face, “Diddy!” she scooped him up and ran down the stairs with him._

_Dudley saw the kitchen burning._

_Sitting in the middle of the flames was Harry, he was shaking his fists and screaming but the fire never touched him._

_Then the back door opened._

_A tall man with a long beard walked in, “Now Harry, that’s no way for a guest to behave.”_

_Harry glared at him, a tongue of fire lit the man’s robes on fire._

_Dudley had a shiver of distaste for the man._

_The man waved a wand that had berries carved into it; at once the flames disappeared, so did the damage the fire caused and it vanished along with the smoke._

_“Harry child, I told you before, your parents are gone. They won’t come. You will desist with these temper tantrums at once.”_

_“I’ll not have my precious Diddy-dinkums in danger from Lily’s brat Headmaster Dumbledore.” His mother said quietly._

_“Were there another place to put him Petunia I would. I will be keeping an eye on this place. I promise to repair any damage that Harry’s temper causes. If you would like I can try to restrain his magic a little. I can’t take it away but perhaps I can channel it into less destructive things.”_

_“Fine! The sooner you can take him away the better. Thank god Vernon is away. I don’t want him to know this happened! He’d throw that brat out on the street.”_

_“If Harry has a tantrum like this again I’ll wipe it from your husband’s mind. We can’t have Harry grow up away from you.”_

_“You know how I feel about raising the boy! I asked you to take him away the last time he did something like this.” His mother said clutching him so tight he could hardly breathe._

Dudley woke with a start; Harry had magical tantrums as a child? Why had he not remember? Really his cousin almost burnt down the house? Knowing that how could his mother let his father bully Harry? Unless Dumbledore did alter their memories or try to channel Harry’s magic into mundane things like Vanishing glass, shrinking jumpers, regrowing hair and turning a teacher’s hair blue when he was pissed?

 

Dudley collapsed in his bed, no wonder he had the idea that picking on Harry would lead to something disastrous…

 

 


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 

 

Dudley had asked Jasmine to give him cooking lessons because they didn’t like doing normal proscribed activities and he had little time for such classes. God knew his father wouldn’t let him take one, he’d consider it a sissy option rather then a life skill.

 

So they’d spent social events under a teacher’s supervision cooking…

 

Jasmine had insisted that their successes be donated to the local shelter, she was community minded like that.

 

So Dudley hadn’t slept well due to the Dementors and he got up and for the first time fixed breakfast.

 

When his mother came down he smiled at her, “I missed your birthday because of school. I thought that I’d do something you know nice.”

 

It was really an excuse to sneak Harry extra food but she didn’t need to know that.

 

Dudley made eggs, toast and sausage for his family but pulled out cottage cheese and fruit for himself instead of the sausage.

 

Harry must have been exhausted because his cousin didn’t show his face before his father left.

 

Dudley called out after his dad, “Let’s go out for Dinner tonight.”

 

His father grumbled something that might have been agreement before shutting the door.

 

Dudley faked surprise at the leftovers, “Oh  I must have made too much. Do you mind mum if I fix up a tray and take it upstairs? I might be hungry later.”

 

“Yes Diddy whatever you like. Your father and I are so proud of you.” His mother gushed.

 

Dudley bit back the retort he wanted to give her as he dished up the last of the eggs and toast putting in his share of the sausage. Adding clean silver, a serviette and a glass of orange juice, Dudley left his beaming mother cleaning the kitchen to sneak food to his cousin. He paused at the foot of the stairs resting the tray on the railing befor pulling his last extra box of cigarettes and the pink lighter Jasmine gave him for Christmas. It was a Zippo but unless he was around her he didn’t use it really…

 

"Wake up you lazy prat." Dudley said loudly, balancing the tray with one arm as he shook Harry.

 

Harry woke up blinking to see Dudley with a tray of food.

 

"It's not much just eggs, toast and sausage. I brought orange juice. Here." Dudley grumbled, setting the tray on his cousin’s lap.

 

Harry was clearly surprised that he had brought him breakfast.

 

"It's not going to vanish on you and it isn't a joke. I cooked it but I'm decent. I figured if I was going to live on my own I ought to take a cooking class somehow. Mum sure won't teach me." Dudley glowered at the floor.

 

Harry sat up and accepted the tray; his eyes were drawn immediately to the pack of cigarettes and a hot pink lighter.

 

Harry frowned.

 

"With the days you've got coming up you'll need them. I've only got two packs left or I'd give you more. I'm going get Gordon's brother to buy us more. I'll give him the winnings from my next fight. I try to only smoke outside when they're out or I'm out. Maybe you've got an older friend or two who'll get 'em for you. Sorry about the lighter, Jasmine gave it to me. I'm just not crazy on pink." Dudley shrugged.

 

"Don't worry Dud, I actually kind of like it. Besides, it's a Zippo." then Harry tore into his breakfast, "It's good."

 

"What you think I'd poison you or something? Seriously. I can cook. Mum about had a heart attack when she came down and I was cooking. I said I missed her birthday cause I was in school and thought I'd do something nice for her for once. She actually started crying." Dudley scoffed, "Wanted an excuse to bring the leftovers upstairs. Told 'em I made too much and that I'd eat it later. Figured if you're going away I oughta at least be sure you eat one decent meal today."

 

"Are you treating this like a quest?" Harry teased between bites of toast.

 

"If I had a little magic I could see your world. I'm a bit jealous really. It's the one thing I can't have." Dudley admitted ruefully.

 

"When you're eighteen I'll take you to the Leaky Cauldron for a drink." Harry offered.

 

Dudley frowned, "Won't you be underage?"

 

Harry snorted, "It's a Wizard pub and they'll serve me when I'm seventeen 'cause that's when I'm legal. Since you're a Muggle I oughta follow your rules."

 

"Why don't we go for your birthday? Just call me your...what's Old Figg again?" Dudley frowned.

 

"A squib, that means her parents had magic but she doesn't." Harry offered as he dug into his eggs.

 

"Yeah call me your squib cousin. Surely they'll like me better if I'm a squib. I mean my aunt and uncle were magical, you're magical so I'm almost a squib."

 

Harry burst out laughing and choked on his eggs.

 

Dudley pounded him on the back. "My food isn't that bad."

 

"No...I have a friend who called himself that. His parents were magical but he's kind of weak." Harry shrugged.

 

"Well I'd rather be a squib then a Muggle and a wizard over a squib. I think Magic's pretty cool and I wish I could do it. I won't tell you're a wizard but I'd like to see what you can see." Dudley said jealously.

 

"Trust me things like Dementors no one wants to see. They are like rotting corpses, slimy like it's been in water, wearing a black cloak. They don't have eyes but they have these hideous mouths. They feed on happiness and souls wanting to drain you of both." Harry said drearily.

 

"What happened that gives you nightmares? And who is Cedric? Your boyfriend?" Dudley asked off hand.

 

Harry blanched, "What?"

 

"I've walked past your room at night sometimes. I've heard you screaming 'Not Cedric! No! Please don't be dead!' so what's that about?" Dudley asked sitting on the chair he tugged over to the bed.

 

"I saw him murdered." Harry hid his face in his hands, "The man who betrayed my parents and got them killed, killed him. I suppose being his thirteenth murder it gets easier. I hate him. I almost wish I'd let Sirius kill him. Then maybe Cedric would still be alive. We weren't dating but we were rivals. We were in this dangerous tournament and we won. His reward was his death. Mine." Harry rubbed his scar from the knife subconsciously, " was that I helped bring the guy who killed my parents back. He was sort of a ghost but they put him back in a body."

 

"The evil wizard that the giant talked about is back?" Dudley flinched.

 

"Yeah. So they've ostracised me with no news, a lot of people like the Ministry don't believe me about Voldy." Harry grumbled. "I show up in shock, panicked and bleeding while clutching a dead body. I had to get dragged away. Of course the person who took me away almost killed me. It seems to be part of my school life that something or someone is always trying to kill me."

 

"Crazy. If I had to watch someone die I'd probably have nightmares too." Dudley admitted ruefully.

 

"Tell me about it." Harry muttered turning to his breakfast.

 

"Well your room looks a bit better. Shouldn't you do laundry?" Dudley asked.

 

Harry nodded, "My dirty clothes are in that old box."

 

"Well hurry up and finish eating so you can get on with it. I'll talk dad into going out to eat when he gets home. Don't forget we've got an appointment." Dudley said giving his cousin a rakish salute.

 

"We'll got to the Leaky Cauldron on my birthday. Promise." Harry finished his breakfast and handed the tray back after taking the cigarettes and the lighter.

 

"Let me know if you get off. I'm sure that owl of yours can find me."

 

"Kay."

 

"Now go wash your clothes."

 

Harry stretched, "Yes Master Dudley sir." Mimicking Dobby the house elf.

 

"Oh shut up." Dudley said shutting the door.

 

Off hand he wondered walking way with the tray how long it would take Harry to realize he taped the key to the Zippo?

  

 


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12  

 

The last time Dudley saw Harry was when he smuggled him up a sandwich and some crisps.

 

It was awfully lonely without an ally in the house, Dudley spent more time with his ‘friends’ doing street boxing then at home.

 

Without Harry there, his parents forgot about the Dementors or about the unlikely friendship between the cousins…

 

A few days after Harry’d gone, Dudley was eating an apple while playing Warcraft one handed.

 

He felt what felt like an electric shock slam into his chest. Then he felt something inside him flash and he started to glow.

 

His computer and everything electronic in his room spontaneously exploded, while his light bulbs in his overhead light and bedside lamp shattered.

 

Downstairs, his father roared and his mother screamed.

 

Dudley couldn't understand what happened.

 

His cell phone was vaporised as well as his gameboy. His Playstation and TV looked like his computer. There were screws and glass everywhere.

 

Dudley shouted, "DOBBY!"

 

The elf showed up frowning, "Master Dudley?"

 

Dudley held out his hand, a backpack appeared in it and then his Zippo, cigarettes, Honeydukes chocolate, favourite books, his stuffed dog from when he was little and a few of his clothes threw themselves into his backpack.

 

Dudley stared at it in confusion and then at the elf, "I can't stay here. Please take me to Harry."

 

The elf blinked at him, "Master Harry Potter's cousin be a Muggle."

 

Dudley swallowed, "I think I was a squib…"

 

The elf grabbed his arm with his long spindly fingers.

 

Dudley felt stretched through a tiny tube where he saw snatches of attics and cellars before being dropped into a fancy room.

 

Harry was there on a black leather settee and sitting with one of those redheads who dropped that sweet last year that gave him a tongue like a black snake.

 

The matching redhead was with a pretty girl with curly hair and a nice rack in an odd shaped love seat.

 

He saw a slightly familiar man with black hair talking to a man with honey-coloured hair and merry amber eyes.

 

"Oy what's he doing here? Who are you?" the familiar man growled.

 

Harry looked up and blinked, "Dudley?"

 

Dudley fell over, still glowing, "What the hell did you do to me? Jesus Christ things just started exploding. First the computer…then my game systems, my TV and my cell phone. Then all the light bulbs shattered. What did you do blow up the wiring?"

 

Harry frowned, "I don't know what happened. I got angry and it just explode."

 

"What exploded?" Dudley asked.

 

"His magic." The girl answered, "It hit me like a tsunami but it tingled like an electrical shock. It overpowered my spell and snapped wands."

 

"What is it called when you want something and it just ends up in your hand?" Dudley stammered.

 

"Summoning." The honey-haired man offered.

 

"Just like in Warcraft. Christ this is too much for my head." Dudley grumbled. He opened his backpack and pulled out his cigarettes and his Zippo. He lit it and smoked a whole cigarette before lighting another and digging out a bar of Honeydukes and eating it.

 

"Dudley did magic? I thought he was a Muggle…" Harry stared at his cousin in confusion.

 

"Told ya I was a Squib. My magic must have been weak. If I could blow up things and summon, you must have gave me a jumpstart like a dead Auto battery." Dudley muttered.

 

The girl frowned, "That doesn't make sense!"

 

"Didn't you save his life from the Dementors?" the unfamiliar man asked.

 

Harry nodded, "There were two, one for each of us. I ended up killing one I think. All that was left was a scrap of its robe."

 

"Kingsley and I found it. I found traces of a Dementor on it but I have no recollection of one being killed before however did you manage it?"

 

"The deer thing…it sort of pounced on it." Dudley replied. He frowned scrubbing his eyes with his hands, "You're right…they are hideous. I can sort of see them now in my memories. They were all smoke before. Well it was pinned and the deer thing got really bright, then the Dementor just boiled away…"

 

"What happened when Harry's magic hit you?" the girl asked curious.

 

"It felt like a shock, you know when someone touches you and you feel a jolt? It was like that only stronger. It hit me in the chest and then something sort of sparked. I started to glow and then things began exploding." Dudley grumbled. "I was taking on a troll! I almost beat him when it exploded. I hadn't gotten a chance to save!"

 

"Well Big D I think you got your wish. You're a wizard now." Harry smirked.

 

"I hope I can stay because I don't think I'm any safer with my parents then you are now. I am sorry for showing up unannounced but it was an emergency." Dudley turned to the adults, "I swear."

 

"If you live under my roof; I have two rules." The familiar man glared at him.

 

Dudley swallowed, shaking slightly, it was Sirius Black Harry’s murderer godfather, "What would they be?"

 

"No telling me what to do and no smoking that crap. Harry can show you where the pipes are. If you don't like one, we'll pick on up somewhere. Maybe Remus will take you out. He promised to buy my motorcycle parts." Sirius whinged.

 

"Alright alright, I'll go. Are you alright Harry?" the man clearly called Remus asked his brow furrowed with worry.

 

"I'll keep them. I just can't go home." Dudley said stubbornly.

 

"Well when is your birthday?" the girl asked.

 

"June 27…" the confused boy replied.

 

"Well then you really ought to be a fifth year. I don't think I can tutor you that far. I've got all my notes and revision for the last four years. You'll need a wand. Since you weren't born magical exactly, you might not have the Trace. Anyway with the wards on this place its fine to teach you." the girl mused.

 

One of the twins smirked kissing her check, "That's my 'Mione, the genius. The hat really ought to have made you a Ravenclaw but then we wouldn't be so friendly."

 

The girl turned red and pushed him off, "Fred behave!"

 

So she was with the guy who had the toffees then, that was good to know.

 

"So I've got until September to learn how to be a wizard?" Dudley frowned.

 

"With Hermione I don't see how you could do poorly. Some of us are a dab hand at certain subjects. I'm keen at Charms, Andromeda is a genius at potions, I believe Sirius' best marks were in Defence and well Fred is gifted at Transfiguration." Remus offered.

 

"I turned Ron's teddy bear into a spider at seven." Fred bragged. "It was even alive enough to scar him for life."

 

"I can stay awake in History." Hermione piped up.

 

"Well I think we'll go shopping for school things tomorrow." Sirius smirked. "I'll just come along as Potter's faithful pooch Snuffles. Maybe you can glamour me to look smaller and cuter then my Padfoot Irish wolfhound form."

 

"What do you want me to make you, a dachshund?" Remus teased.

 

"You better not Moony!" The escaped accused murderer snarled.

 

The two adults proceeded to bicker.

 

The five teenagers giggled.

 

Dudley snickered, "Are they always like that?"

 

Fred nodded, "Sirius has never really grown up and when Remus is with him, they're kids."

 

"If it's too dangerous to go to Diagon Alley we could go visit Rue D'Leon instead." Hermione offered.

 

"What's that?" Harry asked

 

"It's the French version of Diagon Alley only everything is there, their hospital- St. Vidius, the Paris Gringotts branch and their Ministry." Hermione gushed, "I had so much fun exploring there the summer before third year. I read that you could travel by Chevalier Coach if you were under-age so I just stuck out my wand when I left the hotel we were staying at. It showed up a triple-decker blue bus really quickly. It didn't cost that much to get a ride to Rue D'Leon."

 

"We really should stay in Britain."

 

"But it would be safer." Hermione protested.

 

"I think we'll glamour Dudley and Harry can use his dad's cloak. I'll see who from the Order can come. I know that the twins don't have their school things; since Molly said that they would wait for Harry. I think we'll go tomorrow or the day after depending on when we can get the maximum number of Order members." Sirius smirked. "My French is atrocious so I vote for Diagon."

 

Hermione pouted.

 

But Sirius was clearly the man in charge and Harry's godfather so Diagon it was probably going to be…

 

 


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 

Not long after Dudley arrived a tall imperious woman entered the room, Dudley suspected it was a parlour. Maybe some fancy version of what Jason called a ‘man cave’…

 

 “I felt the arrival of a newcomer. We’ll have to fix that hole in the wards. I forgot that a House elf could deliver someone besides myself while we’re under the Fidelius charm.” The woman said, and then her grey eyes fell on him. “Who are you?”

 

Dudley swallowed, “Dudley Dursley, I’m Harry’s cousin. He lost his temper and I ended up with magic somehow. I’m not quite sure really. They’ve offered to teach me magic so I can start at Hogwarts with them but probably not at the same level as they are.”

 

“Why did you come?” the woman frowned.

 

“Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon hate magic.” Harry grumbled, “They spent years making my life making miserable, working me like a house elf really.”

 

“They worked him like a slave!” Dudley spat, “I can’t imagine what they’d do to me since I blew out the wiring…” it was odd, was that what Harry did in his dream about the House fire when he was little. “I hoped that Harry would speak up for me and I could stay somewhere he was. I have nowhere to go and I doubt my parents would still want me.”

 

The lady frowned at him more, “Really? They treat you two that way? I will help you find a place to stay here.” Then she turned to Sirius, “He’s a lot broader then Ronald, perhaps your old clothes will do alright. A few sizing charms will no doubt help it. Come along then Dudley, I’ll show you to the room you can stay in. The one with Sirius’ old things, it’s still got Ronald’s things in it but he’s sort indisposed. So you’ll be alone for a bit, a pity that you’ll have to share eventually with that louse.”

 

Dudley swallowed standing clutching only his backpack, “I don’t have much…only what I could grab…”

 

“Don’t worry young man, we’ll make sure you have what you need. Any family of Harry’s is family to us.” The lady bowed, “Andromeda Tonks.”

 

“Black-Tonks.” Sirius smirked, “I’m the Head of this Family, I’ll finally validated your bonding Annie, so you can and should use Black-Tonks.”

 

“Sirius, I’ve gone Persephone’s entire life as a Tonks. I may not want to start going by something else.” Andromeda sniffed. “Come along, Dudley. Let’s put your things away.”

 

Dudley followed her out of the parlour and through the fanciest dining room he’d ever seen out to a corridor. The staircase they went up was like straight out off a movie, with the gleaming dark wood and what seemed like green carpet that looked like velvet. They crossed a landing and went up another set of stairs. They then entered a corridor with a left turn, passing two doors before turning right onto another corridor.

 

“The first door back there is the twins’ room, the second is Remus’.” Andromeda led him around a corner, “This is the bathroom.” She opened a door, “and this is your room. “The cleaner side would be yours. Ignore the pigmy owl, he’s just an annoyance but he’s alright. He will leave you alone if you ignore him.”

 

Dudley saw posters of motorcycles and scantily-dressed girls. They looked like Sports Illustrated centre-fold types. “I’ve shared before because of dormitories at Smeltings so I don’t really mind.”

 

“Harry said that the Gryffindor colour scheme annoyed him and he couldn’t stand the posters.” Andromeda sniffed. “I can’t blame him; Sirius went overboard with the Gryffindor and Muggle theme when he was young. I was surprised that my Uncle Orion let him keep it up, unless it was to annoy Aunt Walpurga. Imagine my surprise when all of his things had been shunted somehow across the corridor. I suppose that Sirius’ blood-tied sticking charms were defeated by Uncle Orion’s tie to the House…”

 

“So I’m sleeping here?” Dudley asked looking around the room.

 

“Yes.” Andromeda nodded as she walked over to the dresser and wardrobe. She opened it and coughed, before snapping her fingers.

 

A creature like Dobby appeared. “Yes Mistress?”

 

“This is Master Dudley, a guest of Master Sirius. Please have Sirius’ old clothes from when he was young prepared for Dudley. They may require some adjustments but I’m sure it would be manageable.” 

 

“Of course Mistress. Gilly be glad to make sure that Master Dudley has clothes. Gilly were just talking to Dobby. Master Ron be being looked after. Gilly make sure he not fed to hippogriff.”

 

“Very well, that will be marvellous Gilly. You are a very good head elf.”

 

“Gilly work hard for Mistress.”

 

“Well I will leave you in capable hands Dudley. We’ll plan your lessons later but likely I will be instructing you in potions and astronomy.” Andromeda said pleasantly.

 

Dudley found he liked her, she was straight-forward and she was helping him find his footing.

 

Then she left and he was alone with the weird house elf creature…

 

Dudley swallowed, “You’re a house elf?”

 

“Master Dudley be Muggle-raised, yes Gilly be a house elf. Gilly be a girl house elf. Gilly serve Miss Annie since she were a baby. Gilly very loyal. Gilly very happy Miss Annie be a Black again. Gilly like Mr. Ted. Ted be fun person, he really love Miss Annie. Miss Seph be needing to grow up.” The elf twisted her tea towel, “Gilly shouldn’t talk like that but it be true. We best be hurrying. Lunch be soon and Master can’t be wearing that…”

 

Dudley glanced down at his outfit, “I suppose not…” it was an old t-shirt that had become part of his boxing training outfit and pair of track pants.

 

“Master be wanting a bath or a cleaning charm before dressing?” Gilly asked frowning.

 

“A bath?” Dudley asked.

 

“Master very wise. Gilly go start bath and then while master be bathing Gilly fix up outfit.”

 

“Err thank you…Gilly.” Dudley said pleasantly.

 

“Gilly live to serve.” Then she was gone.

 

Dudley thought that Andromeda reminded him a bit of a grown up Jasmine, he was sure he’d learn to like her.

 

Hermione and Remus seemed nice; he’d reserve judgement on the twins or even Sirius.

 

Dudley thought maybe he’d learn to like it here…

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds Expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Optional reading recommendation Chosen Darkness chapter 11: Wands, books, cats and snakes

Chapter 14

 

They discussed Dudley’s forth-coming lessons the day after they visited Diagon Alley, which was a freaking brilliant place.

 

Dudley was thrilled that not only did he finally have his much wished-for cat but it also was a magical cat and it could talk at least to him.

 

Harry seemed just as pleased with his belated birthday gift of the snake.

 

Dudley still wasn’t fond of snakes but she- Harry said it was a she seemed to like Harry as much as Tama liked him. 

 

He couldn’t understand when Harry talked to his snake but then again no one else seemed to understand Tama either so it was fair, Dudley supposed.

 

“So we’ve decided that you’ll have Astronomy and Potions lessons from Annie,” Sirius announced, “Remus will teach Charms, I’ll be doing Defence, Hermione has graciously offered to teach you History, George will take over Herbology- he said it will give us a chance to make sense of the greenhouses and what’s left of the garden, Fred still insists on teaching you Transfiguration. With what I’ve seen of his skill, you’re quite lucky.”

 

Dudley swallowed, “Thanks. I appreciate it. I’ll work hard. I really don’t want to start at Hogwarts as a First Year…”

 

“We’ll do our best to make sure you’re a Third Year.” Hermione said encouragingly.

 

Dudley blushed, “Err…thanks.”

 

“You read your books over last night didn’t you?” Andromeda asked frowning.

 

Dudley nodded, “Tama was complaining because he was tired and my light was bothering him.”

 

“Very good.” she nodded at him.

 

Dudley blushed again, “I was fascinated, the books looked interesting and I couldn’t put them down.”

 

“I had a hard time getting Hermione to stop reading her new books last night.”  Fred smirked.

 

“Of course, a bookworm like ‘Mione can’t resist a new book. Any time you’re in the dungeons in her esteem just get her books.” Harry teased.

 

Hermione flushed, “You don’t have to buy me books when I’m mad at you…”

 

“It would help…” Fred grinned.

 

“Potions will be before dinner and on Astronomy days you will go to sleep early since I will be waking you at midnight or one depending on the sky.”

 

“So you’ll have History, Herbology and Transfiguration in the mornings; Charms, Defence and Potions in the Afternoons after Lunch. All of them except probably for Herbology will be in the Library. Astronomy will be any night Andromeda thinks the skies are clear enough or she decides to have a lesson with charts instead. After all sometimes you just can’t see for a variety of reasons.” Sirius smirked.

 

Hermione blushed, “I think I’ll go first? I was planning out lessons using my old notes.”

 

“Face it ‘Mione,” Fred grinned, “We all used your notes.”

 

“Except me!” Sirius laughed, “I just stole Remus’ lesson plans.”

 

Remus shrugged, “I didn’t mind especially since I used Hermione to refresh myself. It’s been a long time since I was a First Year…I’ve changed a lot since then…” his voice trailed off.  

 

“I’ll need parchment, ink and a quill right?” Dudley asked nervously.

 

“Yes but I’ll give you a writing lesson right after breakfast.” Andromeda offered. “You’ll be glad of it.”

 

“Well my handwriting is really awful, no one can read it.” Dudley said sheepishly.

 

“I can teach you some spells to fix that.” Andromeda said with a slight shrug. “You have to handwrite essays at Hogwarts so you will need to have legible handwriting.”

 

Dudley swallowed nervously, “Of course. I hadn’t thought about that. We’re spoilt at Smeltings because we have to type our papers. I’ll have to learn all over again.”

 

They all turned to their meal once more.

 

When they were finished, Andromeda rose, “Come along Dudley, let’s have that handwriting lesson while Hermione gets her things for History prepared.”

 

Dudley nervously followed the imperious woman.

 

XoooooX

 

Andromeda dragged Sirius and Ted up to Sirius' 'study' to talk while Dudley was busy with Hermione following her quill-writing lesson with Dudley.

 

"What are we here for Annie?" Sirius said throwing himself into the comfortable black velvet desk chair.

 

"I've been thinking that Dumbledore has been allowed too much power. I'd like to adopt the boy, he seems to be a decent sort and with parents so bad he has to run away I'd like to make him officially family. Provided you have no objections." Andromeda announced.

 

"Dudley seems like a decent kid for being Lily's mad sister's son." Sirius shrugged, "Will they give him up?"

 

"From what I can gather they've abused Harry for being magical. I can only imagine what they would do to the two of them were they returned to their custody next year." Ted offered. "I haven't any clear findings since I've yet to speak to Harry about it. Annie I insist that you talk Sirius into seeing me. Twelve years in Azkaban and two on the run is a lot of stress for the mind."

 

Sirius winced, "Harry fixed my physical issues from that. Too bad he didn't fix the other."

 

"Only Veela can do that. Veela mind healers aren't common and tend to be very closed preferring to stay close to the Court." Andromeda shrugged.

 

"I have no objections."

 

"I need copies of the Potter wills and yours. I've come up with a strategy that will infuriate the Ministry but they will have to accept it because they have created a situation and I shall capitulate." The former Slytherin Head Girl smirked.

 

"Copies of the Potter wills are stored in the Black Family Documents Vault so even if the Potter copies are sealed those aren't. I was named Harry's guardian by both of them. James as sole guardian but Lily wanted me to share with Remus. She thought he would temper my excesses." Sirius chuckled.

 

"She would have been better off choosing Severus and Remus." Andromeda muttered, "But I digress. I need permission to access the vault."

 

Sirius scribbled on a piece of parchment, "What are you up to?"

 

"I'm going to convince the Muggles to sign over custody of they boys to me. Since you are still considered a dangerous murderer you can't have Harry right now legally and I'm sure that Ted would say that you couldn't possibly be completely stable even if you were declared innocent."

 

"I'm stable enough." Sirius grumbled.

 

"If Albus knew you were innocent he should have spoken for you. All they have to do is have the wandmaker testify which is your wand and then test it for the last spell cast to see who blew up the street. Besides you haven't a Dark Mark on you anyway." Andromeda scoffed. "Anyone with sense knows you can't have an audience with the Dark Lord Voldy without it unless you're to be marked. Then again since when did a many-headed hydra like the Ministry show sense? They are like Runespore heads fighting until they kill one another."

 

"Trust a Dark Witch to resort to a Dark Creature analogy." Sirius muttered.

 

"Would you expect any less?" Andromeda asked raising an eyebrow.

 

Sirius snorted, "Not really. You put most Dark Witches to shame…"

 

"Like Bella? Trust me that is not difficult. It's more interesting to have power that intimates and not use it so they always wonder what you could do rather then to show them what you can do. That is where Voldy and Bella stumbled. Its is best to frighten them with their own imagination then to show them what you are capable of."

 

"Merlin you're an odd one Annie." Sirius shook his head.

 

Andromeda turned to Ted, "I will require your agreement to remove monies from our vault."

 

"How much?" Ted worried his lip with his teeth.

 

"40,000 Galleons." Andromeda shrugged.

 

"WHAT! That's 200,000 pounds! Why would you need so much?" Ted yelped.

 

"For the love of Morganna desist with the screeching. I taught you better manners then that." Andromeda snapped.

 

Sirius scribbled again on parchment and handed it over, "Permission to remove that number from the main vault. I suspect you shall be paying the Muggles off to give up custody?"

 

Andromeda smirked, "Of course. With the damage done to their house by magic since they hate and distrust it so much they will not be willing to live there after their wiring was destroyed."

 

"Quite right. You will see that they are suitable punished?"

 

"I am quite sure that I can arrange something unexpected and untraceable in the future. At present I am concerned with bring Harry under the authority of the House of Black." Andromeda sneered, "The Muggles will pay. I don't dislike Muggles in general but I dislike those who abuse children in their charge. For their own son to away out of fear says much about their living environment. Harry did call that place a hell hole and a prison."

 

The two wizards looked troubled.

 

"I shall take my leave then. I have errands to run." Andromeda said rising.

 

XoooooX

 

Hermione entered the library to find Dudley nervously waiting for her.

 

Dudley gave the girl a shy smile. Scraps of quill practice parchment strewn all over the table.

 

“I’m your youngest teacher and I’ve never really taught before so we’ll give each other a break right?” Hermione blushed.

 

“Uh sure?” Dudley said rubbing the back of his neck.

 

Then Hermione sat next to him at one of the tables and began to tell him about the early history of the British Wizarding World.

 

XoooooX

 

George stepped into the library.

 

Hermione looked up, “Is it that time already?”

 

George shrugged, “Just about.”

 

Hermione started to pack up her things, then she handed Dudley a piece of parchment. “An essay. I’d like it tomorrow.”

 

Dudley nodded, “I’ll work on it after dinner.”

 

“I’ve been poking around the greenhouses and the gardens.” George said gesturing for Dudley to come along. Summoning Dudley’s dragon hide work gloves as well as his own.

 

Dudley nodded, “Yeah.”

 

“Can’t work with the Mandrake. I know you’re supposed to for Second Year but that one’s so old it’d probably kill us instead of knock us out or a while. We’ll practice with a different plant.” George said as he led the way outside to the disasters that the greenhouses had become

 

XoooooX

 

Andromeda retrieved 200,000 pounds from Gringotts from one of the Black Vaults with Sirius' written permission. She had also visited Sancus Malfoy, a cousin of Lord Malfoy- her former betrothed who became Head Boy two years after she graduated to retrieve custody transfer papers for both boys.

 

It didn't take long to Apparate to Little Whinging.

 

Andromeda paused to visit Arabella Figg; the neighbour across the street from the Dursleys and apparently Harry's former babysitter.

 

The Kneazel-cat breeder met her at the door, then her hand on her heart. "Oh dear…"

 

"Peace, It's Andromeda, Persephone's mother."

 

"Seph?"

 

Andromeda scowled, "Yes."

 

"I see come in. I knew that Harry would be taken towards the beginning of August but where is Dudley? He's very different away from his parents. I always thought he was a spoiled rotten boy but he seems a decent sort. I maybe a squib but there was magical explosion in that house after Harry was taken away."

 

"It was Dudley. He manifested magic without training so that he lost control and he said he blew out the wiring." Andromeda informed the squib coolly.

 

"Blew out the wiring? I knew magic and electricity couldn't really co-exist well but that is surprising."

 

"How have the Muggles been?"

 

"They stormed out of the house after the explosion, Petunia was crying and saying she wouldn't stay there. She kept crying for her Diddy. I never did understand her nicknames for the poor kid. Harry was always 'freak' or 'the boy', I ingratiated myself to Petunia enough to become his babysitter but I had to make him miserable, one of Albus' orders. I told him those Muggles were horrible. I complained to him for years. Harry was out there shovelling snow in non weather appropriate clothing. He missed a lot of school as a child and did chores above his age ability. I told Albus over and over that Harry needed to be somewhere safer. He told me about blood wards and how that he was only safe with Petunia. Safe from Death Eaters perhaps, but not from physical danger." Arabella grumbled.

 

"Well I'm going to convince them to give them up with no magical influence. I don't wish to be accused of torturing Muggles even if they are loathsome creatures who would deserve it." Andromeda scoffed.

 

"You're really going to take him away?"

 

"I'm adopting Dudley and assuming custody of Harry as his closest magical relative." Andromeda smirked. "With Sirius still seen as a murderer and a treacherous Death Eater, he can't be Harry's guardian. Not that he is ready for that right now. He needs time to heal from Azkaban as you can imagine."

 

The squib shivered, "That horrible place I can imagine. I saw Severus after he came back, he has mental scars too and he was only there a month."

 

Andromeda bid good day to Ms. Figg and walked across the street to meet with two very angry Dursleys

 

The Muggles were inside the house and she could hear them arguing.

 

The woman wanted to search for her precious Dudders.

 

The man thundered that if that boy did magic he ought to be expelled. If the freak killed his son they should lock him up in prison and throw away the key.

 

Andromeda pounded on the door.

 

It was ripped open by a large bull of man who was very portly and had a face like a bulldog.

 

Andromeda was tall for a witch, about five eight and very strong from carrying cauldrons and lifting patients. So his attempt to intimidate rolled off her like water hitting an impervious charm. "I will be coming in. It's about the boys."

 

The man retreated after one look at her expression.

 

Andromeda took a seat on the couch close to the skinny horse-necked woman, "Now, your son isn't dead. He's magical. He had an outburst tied to his emotions not unlike a child's burst of wild magic. Dudley is the one who blew out your wiring. He was terrified of your reaction, thanks to years of seeing your treatment of Harry. He was removed at once and is staying with Harry's closest magical relations."

 

"If that useless freak had freakish relations why did we have to raise him? I told you to threw him in the bin Petunia but no. This is entirely your fault! If you hadn't insisted we'd have a normal son and not a freak."

 

"It should have been safe!" Petunia bawled, "I lived with Lily for years and I never developed freakish tendencies. He did something to my Diddly-kins. Isn't not fair!"

 

"For what reason were you given that Harry must live here?"

 

"Apparently, my sister died in a particular way that meant that he must reside with someone of her blood." Petunia sniffed, "I never wanted him. He was a little eyesore, a lazy brat who spoilt our perfect family. He does nothing but cause trouble. He upset Dudders, stole food, made messes and did freakish things. I don't believe Dudley did this. He loves us."

 

"He's ashamed of you. You ever wonder why he stopped bringing his friends around? He thinks it's disgusting to be called babyish nicknames at his age. I can't blame him. He decided it was better to live with Harry's godfather then here."

 

"The murderer? My boy is living with a murderer?" Petunia wrung her hands, "He's going to be killed I know it!"

 

"Sirius is no more a murderer then any other detective." using a Muggle term for Sirius' former position in Magical Law Enforcement, "He got accused of being in the pay of a criminal. Instead of doing a full investigation he didn't even have a trial and was tossed in prison. A fact that will be remedied soon, now I will tell you that Dumbledore lied. There are no blood wards. Therefore there is no reason to keep him. Dudley is a very powerful wizard if his destruction of your wiring and the electronics are anything to go by. He is receiving intense instruction with the hope of starting at the level of a second or third year. For your," Andromeda sneered, "...suffering having to bring up two magical wards I shall offer you the sum of 200,000 pounds in exchange for your signatures on documents transferring legal custody of the boys to me."

 

Petunia protested, "No Vernon please…"

 

"If not you'll have two wizards living with you next summer." Andromeda said half in warning, half-threatening.

 

Vernon agreed, "Alright alright you bitch. I'll sell the freaks. I won't have a son of mine as a freak. I want nothing to do with your lot."

 

Andromeda held out the custody papers and the bull-like man signed them with malicious relish. He stalked over to the mantle piece and threw a piece of parchment at her.

 

Andromeda caught it and sneered, "Another Ministry missive? A pity they are accusing Harry of your son's magical outburst. Strange they have yet to register Dudley as one of us. If you like I can make it impossible for Wizards to track you, even Albus."

 

"You can hide us from him?" Petunia stammered.

 

"Yes." Andromeda said smugly.

 

"If Vernon gives Harry away you have to. I don't want to know what he would do if he knew I threw him out."

 

Andromeda pointed her wand at them and cast a wizard repelling charm that would make them invisible to any with magic. It was a twisted Fidelius charm, which was to protect an individual rather than a location. With herself as their 'Secret Keeper' only she could find them along with any she shared the secret with.

 

Andromeda paid Vernon the money in cash pulling it out of her healer's bag.

 

Vernon took the money having signed legally binding custody papers, "We shall move. I want to forget that those two freaks ever existed. We will pretend to be childless. Dudley never existed. Harry never existed. We want nothing more to do with that lot. No more owls and no more freakish things."

 

"Very well." Andromeda said snidely as she rose, "Be warned the Dark Lord is back. No doubt he is the one who sent the Dementors after your charges. I would be wary, there are Death Eaters on the rise and they will start wreaking havoc on both our worlds soon. While your address may have been leaked it is possible that your appearances have been as well. Be on your guard. I would hate to have to console your son if you died."

 

Andromeda left as quickly as she arrived and Apparated away.

 

XoooooX

 

Fred picked Dudley up from George’s lesson in the greenhouse and they headed back to the house.

 

Fred showed him how to transfigure a match to a needle as well as a goblet to a rat and a rat to a goblet. Sirius had offered the ugliest goblet in the house for them to use.

 

He had been tempted to use Ron in place of the rat but farther exposure to Transfiguration might be harmful. He’d leave it to the cats to play with him; he found them playing a game of kick the ferret and laughed so loud he worried the house elves.

 

XoooooX

 

Andromeda Apparated to the Public Apparation point nearest the entrance to the Ministry and phoned in. the Muggle looking phone booth brought her to the Atrium.

 

Andromeda inwardly sneered at the arrogance of the sculpture in the centre of the atrium.

 

Idiots…

 

She took the lift down to the third level

 

Andromeda made her way to the Department for Magical Children.

 

The secretary frowned at her, "Can I help you ma'am?"

 

"Healer Tonks." Andromeda sniffed, "And I need to speak with Madam Greengrass. It is an emergency."

 

"Oh?" the woman asked in a bored tone.

 

"Regarding the abuse of magical children."

 

"I'll see if she is available." The secretary scribbled on parchment and then tapped it with her wand.

 

It folded itself into a paper bird and flew towards the office at the back of a long room.

 

There were cubicles with at least two-dozen workers in them.

 

It didn't take long for the door to open.

 

Andromeda took that as an invitation and madder her way to the inner office.

 

"Andromeda." The woman greeted her shortly and the door closed behind her.

 

"Aurora."

 

"What is this about?" the slightly younger former Slytherin Prefect asked.

 

Aurora Greengrass was in Bellatrix's year and it was her twin Demeter Lovegood who became Head Girl that year.

 

"Harry Potter."

 

"Oh really and what is your connection to the Boy Who Lived?"

 

"He is my cousin's godson and his grandmother was my great grandfather's youngest sister." Andromeda replied coolly taking a seat. "I have recently become aware of his address as well as his need for a suitable guardian. He was placed illegally I'm sure with a Muggle relation who treated him like a house elf."

 

Aurora scoffed.

 

"Trust me he has been his cousin has admitted to it."

 

"A Muggle cousin?"

 

Andromeda smirked, "A Muggleborn cousin. I am surprised you didn't think to ask the Improper Use of Magic Office. He has had several infractions…"

 

"So he's in trouble?"

 

Andromeda scoffed, "For self-defence. There are two witnesses to his being attacked by Dementors. He's accused of using magic in front of a Muggle but his cousin is magical so that charge should be thrown out. His first offence was caused by a house elf so that shouldn't be relevant. As for the second it was a burst of wild magic. He accidentally inflated a Muggle aunt but they let him off because Sirius just escaped. That was excused so they best not bring that up."

 

She pulled out copies of the Potters' Wills, Sirius' will and the custody transfer papers. "I have these. I managed to retrieve the copies from the Black document vault. Sirius was named co-executor of the Potter Estate. As you can see Sirius was named guardian but in the case of his inability they named Remus and Severus. However, Remus can't take custody thanks to the current legislation before the Wizengamot. As Sirius' nearest relative, I have also gotten his Muggle relations to give me custody. They refused to allow two magical children under their room. They had since moved and I have no way to contact them. I am a trained healer, Harry shows signs of physical abuse and starvation while his cousin was grotesquely overfed. They both are in need of the care of a trained healer and at least one of them suffered psychological abuse since my husband as a mind healer his services are no doubt needed."

 

"What sort of psychological abuse?"

 

"He was called Freak or boy instead of his name. Their son ran away via house elf when his magic manifested and blew out the wiring. He is a big kid but even he was horrified to live under their roof. When I informed his parents he was magical they blew up. It was like being told your child is a squib. They agreed at once to sign over custody, they don't want them. As Harry's nearest blood relation I'm taking him in. I want to adopt his cousin. Dudley is a good boy, sharp as a tack. He has the build of a Beater. The boy maybe new to magic and a late bloomer but he's studying hard. I want to give him family to be proud of."

 

Aurora nodded, skimming the documents. "I was not happy that the Chief Warlock placed him illegally. An orphaned child is under the authority of this Department. Granted we were in flux at one point because my predecessor was revealed as Death Eater. He would have most likely ended up with you unless we found a closer relation. I would never place a magical child with Muggles blood or not. They can't raise a magical child properly."

 

"So with these proofs he's mine?" Andromeda smirked.

 

"Of course." The Head of the Department of Magical Children quickly drafted official recognition of her status as the Guardian of the Boy Who Lived.

 

"I would like special dispensation to adopt the boy written as Dudley Dursley. I would like to blood adopt him. While my bonded is a lowly Muggleborn and I am a supposed bloodtraitor even as a Halfblood he would have more status and prestige."

 

"Does the boy agree?" Aurora frowned.

 

"His parents disowned him for being magical. I believe he would like to feel he has a home and a family beyond his cousin."

 

"I shall grant you permission to blood adopt if he consents. You may register him as your son this week if he agrees." Aurora wrote legal consent to application for blood adoption as well as receipt of custody.

 

Andromeda accepted the documents, "Thank you. I've always wanted to give my husband a son."

 

"I am sure that my bonded would have liked one but as the Head of a Female-entailed line there is not much need for one." Aurora shrugged.

 

"I know my father would have liked one but he sired three daughters; one who would have been better drowned at birth."

 

"Ah Bellatrix, a pity to share blood with such a one." Aurora shook her head.

 

"Narcissa is a sight better, saner I should think." Andromeda sniffed.

 

"Well her husband has a lot of pull in the Ministry. Many have forgotten his ties to the Death Eaters. I am glad that the Dark Lord has not returned."

 

Andromeda sneered, "He has. When he rose any Dark Inclined witch or wizard felt his power return. I will laugh in Fudge's face when he has to eat Dragon dung and admit he was wrong. Harry did not have the power to kill Cedric Diggory. He saw his murder and tried to tell. The Ministry has branded him a liar and is trying to expel him. Expulsion should be left up to the School and the Board, not the Ministry. The Ministry has never had power over Hogwarts, they are autonomous and always have been. The Ministry can recommend expulsion but not enforce it."

 

"True. I do hope he gets acquitted if he is as innocent as you say."

 

"If your daughters were attacked in the summer wouldn't you hope they would defend themselves?"

 

"My daughters are never alone. They are with house elves, their sire or myself. They would be removed immediately from such danger. Who would send Dementors after a teenager?"

 

"Either a Death Eater or a loyalist. I shall ensure that my charges are safe." Andromeda smirked, "I can't waited to see what sort of reaction the old coot has to my obtaining custody of his precious golden boy."

 

"Dumbledore? I have no like for him."

 

Andromeda smirked, "I would recommend that you have the address Number Four Privet Drive in Little Whinging, Surrey purchased. There is a squib across the street who might have it arranged. If you have it examined, I am sure that you could try the Headmaster for accessory to abuse of a minor. A legal way to get revenge on him for bypassing the authority of this Department."

 

Aurora snickered, "I shall look into that."

 

Andromeda made her way to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, which was on the floor above her.

 

She slipped in past the secretary and let herself into Amelia's office.

 

Ted sometimes worked there with those who were arrested or were victims.

 

Amelia was also her replacement as Head Girl following her elopement.

 

Amelia looked up grinning, "Andromeda."

 

"Amelia. I've come with information you may be able to use to your advantage."

 

Amelia gestured at the seat across from her desk, "Do tell." While raising her privacy wards…

 

"What would if benefit you if you proved that Sirius Black may have been innocent, that Dumbledore and the Minister possibly with your predecessor had him imprisoned falsely to attempt to gave the custody of the Boy Who Lived?"

 

"How would Sirius be innocent? He was the Potters' Secret Keeper…"

 

"He wasn't. Sirius was a decoy; he knew that he would be a target so he had them switch at the last minute. If you like I could send an elf to pick up the real traitor. He just happens to be the man who killed Diggory." Andromeda replied conspiratorially.

 

"Oh? So who blew up the street?"

 

"Why don't you check the wands? Sirius' was bloodwood and leprechaun hair made by the Ollivander who runs the Paris shop and goes by the name Louis. I don't know who made the traitor's."

 

"Was it Lupin?"

 

"No." Andromeda smirked.

 

"You can't mean…"

 

"Harry said he was a rat animagus and Ronald's rat escaped at the same time as Sirius did from Hogwarts. Sirius never tried to attack Harry you can ask him. He was after the rat."

 

"Animagi are required to register." Amelia frowned.

 

"I know of three that didn't." Andromeda replied snidely. "One is dead so he can't be punished."

 

"You want me to arrange a secret investigation into Sirius Black's case?"

 

"At least three of your Aurors know he's innocent and haven't approached you either. Unless you still have Moody retired."

 

"Who is refusing to have him proved innocent?"

 

"Dumbledore. Which is why I think he's conspiring to keep Sirius deemed an escaped prisoner to be killed on sight. Sirius is the Potters' choice for their sons guardian, at least one of them."

 

"You've seen the Potters' wills?"

 

"Sirius was their executor and copies were stored in the Black documents vault. Those copies weren't sealed. Aurora has copies."

 

"Oh really?" the former Hufflepuff asked steepling her fingers.

 

"And information that proves Dumbledore illegally usurped her authority and placed Potter with Muggles who abused him. If the property he was previously residing in was purchased and examined I am sure that you both would find serious evidence of his abuse at their hands." Andromeda smirked.

 

"You really think Fudge is involved with the possible conspiracy?"

 

"He's now conspiring to have Harry kicked out of Hogwarts which should be a choice for the Headmaster and the Governors. They can recommend it but they can't expel him as you well know."

 

"I've talked them into not having him meet before the entire Wizengamot. He is only being called before the Council."

 

"Really? But the full council doesn't try minors unless it's a serious crime. Self-defence or even the use of magic during the summer shouldn't count."

 

"You'd think he murdered that Muggle." Amelia frowned.

 

"Oh you will enjoy the look on Cornelius and Dolores' faces with my defence. They will hate me and there won't be anything they can do about it." Andromeda smirked.

 

"I will since I am the Head of the Council of Magical Law. We replaced Crouch who was dismissed due to his possible involvement with his son's escape. We tested the body at Azkaban and found despite the features of Barty Jr. it was in fact his wife. Crouch's replacement is Lucius."

 

"Well that will be interesting…it has been some time since I've spoken to him. I will enjoy that…considering who one of my witnesses will be." Andromeda snickered.

 

"I am definitely looking forward to this."

 

"It will be very…entertaining to be sure. Albus already hates me; I've taken over a position he wanted. Needless to say Persephone isn't pleased either."

 

"I will see you at nine am on the twelfth. You will not be informed but the venue will be Courtroom ten."

 

"What? That hasn't been used since the Death Eater trials." Andromeda glared.

 

"Apparently they wish to avoid being seen by anyone else. It is to be a sealed trial."

 

"Well then, I shall have to take a lot of joy in embarrassing certain members."

 

Andromeda took her leave quite smug about the seeds she'd laid.

 

'Albus, the last thing you ever want is to make me an enemy. You treated me callously in school, you send my favourite cousin to Azkaban. You allow my family to be abused; oh I shall take great pleasure in destroying you. And how nice of Fudge to be making this so easy…'

 

XoooooX

 

After lunch was Charms with Remus…

 

Teaching wasn’t new to Remus anymore but teaching Charms was different.

 

He was far more confident teaching that then Defence to be honest…

 

He showed Dudley how to cast a levitating charm first and they practiced levitating a variety of objects for the sheer experience of what the level of power behind the seemingly elementary spell could do

 

Dudley was excited. There was so much that Magic could do if you just focused…

 

XoooooX

 

Tama had never gotten along with other cats before but Crookshanks was a decent sort.

 

The Kneazel introduced him to a game of 'kick the ferret' but now that the spell that made him stiff like ice the game was 'chase the ferret'.

 

The fact that the Kneazel said that the ferret was a bad person who had tried to kick him made Tama very eager to teach the 'human' a lesson.

 

Crookshanks liked that he could torment his tormentor…

 

The house elves fed them divinely with silver dishes that had their names engraved on them.

 

It was like he was perfect rather then a runt or had a coat spoilt with bronze.

 

They had compared stories of their breeders. Crookshanks had been weeks from being adopted when he arrived at the shop. Crookshanks hadn't had any friends either; his litter mates had all been adopted years before himself.

 

Crookshanks taught him how to tell an animal wasn't an animal.

 

They were spoilt and even their humans doted on them and expected them to share their bed at night.

 

Crookshanks' human Hermione taught his human Dudley how to brush their fur and even taught him how to bathe him. Tama did not like water or baths but he preferred it to those charms that left his fur all staticky. So he put up with it and saw it as Dudley's way of serving him.

 

The snake wasn't so bad; Skylla liked exploring and kicking the dead puffskins out from under furniture to embarrass the house elves.

 

The one called Gilly would lecture the other elves if she found them.

 

Skylla wasn't as social as Crookshanks…

 

Skylla liked her human who she called Ri and expected him to be at her whim…

 

If the other pets were his human's school were this interesting perhaps, he'd have more friends.

 

XoooooX

 

Dudley was still wary of Sirius even if he vaguely remembered Harry’s angry muttering about him being innocent.

 

“Nothing to be scared of,” Sirius said clapping Dudley on the back, “You’re family now. With old Voldy back, I’m going make you as proficient at Defence as most Blacks are at Dark Magic. These are dangerous times if what Remus told me about Voldy supporters infiltrating Hogwarts every year is true. I’ll be relying on you to help Hermione, Fred and George watch Harry’s back.”

 

“Especially with that rat Ron around.” Dudley sneered.

 

Sirius snorted, “Rat? Interestingly his ex-familiar was a rat animagus. Wormtail was the true betrayer of Lily and James.”

 

Dudley shrugged, “Maybe the scum rubbed off.”

 

Sirius growled, “Probably or they both have a natural strain of betrayal. Harry wrote about Ron’s betrayal last year, so well let’s just say I’m not surprised. Crookshanks is a good judge of character and he hates Ron.”

 

“So what are we going to do? What sort of spells will you teach me?” Dudley asked excitedly.

 

“Altogether? The disarming charm, basic shield charm and in light of your Dementor incident, I think its imperative to know the Patronus charm. We’ll get to the Verdimillious spell, Lumos and other stuff like the Knockback jinx or the curse of the bogies eventually. We’ll do practical spells mostly, magical creature stuff you can read about.” Sirius shrugged.

 

“Can we start with disarming, the shield charm and Patronus?” Dudley asked impatiently.

 

Sirius smirked, “Of course but I will expect a two foot essay on recognizing and treating werewolf bites our next lesson.”

 

 “Alright.” Dudley nodded, agreeing at once. He already had essays piling up but so what right?

 

 Sirius moved closer, standing extremely close behind him and grabbed his wand hand. “The disarming charm is Expelliarmus.”

 

Dudley listened to the stresses on the syllables of the spell and felt the movement of his wand.

 

Sirius did that twice before moving to face him once more. “Now you do it. Remember, magic is merely glorified words backed by will and intent; the more intent and will you focus into the incantation in theory the more powerful the outcome. Disarm me if you can.” The man smirked.

                       

Dudley was naturally stubborn, so he swallowed his nervousness and then his mouth set in a firm line. He sized up Sirius and then barked, “Expelliarmus!”

 

 Immediately the wand in question, a cane- something like an ornate walking stick flung itself at Dudley with Sirius lunging for it.

 

Dudley smirked at his teacher as he caught it.

 

Sirius grinned looking intensely pleased rather then annoyed at Dudley’s success. “Acio wand!”

 

Dudley felt the want give him a sort of shock and he let go of it at once.

 

It immediately returned to Sirius.

 

“Very good, that was powerful. I wasn’t expecting that spell to be that successful your first attempt. You confident with that?”

 

Dudley nodded, “I think so.” He was determined to make up for lost time and practice all the time.

 

“Shield charm then?” Sirius asked.

 

Dudley snickered, “Of course.”

 

Sirius repeated his teaching method again by speaking the spell directly into Dudley’s ear and forcibly moving Dudley’s wand in the proper movements.

 

After the second showing, Dudley nodded, “Got it.”

 

 Sirius slid in front of him once more, “Prove it.”

 

 Dudley roared, “Protego!”

 

A silvery wall appeared in front of him.

 

“Now concentrate! You want it to stay up.” Sirius barked just before he unleashed a series of spells at it.

 

Dudley was surprised at how fast the spells came at him. The shield shimmered as different lights hit it, Dudley wondered if spells were different shades of colours like the elements that his science teachers had showed them when they burned or electrocuted them during lessons.

 

A particularly strong spell hit his shield and it bent inward shuddering.

 

Without really planned, Dudley’s wand was up and he’d recast the shield charm.

 

 Sirius started applauding, “That’s swell! That’s what one ought to do! You’ve got good instincts Dudley; you’ve definitely got the talent for Defence. Maybe you’ll be recruited by the Hit Wizards or even the Magnus Brutus.”

 

“Not sure I’d be interested…” Dudley frowned, “I’m sort of new to your world, I want to learn everything before I decide anything…”

 

“Good for you!” Sirius grinned, “You still up to learn the Patronus charm?”

 

“Yeah, don’t want to be caught unprepared again by them. I don’t like letting other’s fight for me. I’d prefer to defend myself.” Dudley grumbled. “Not that I’m ungrateful Harry saved me but I’d rather stand at his side instead of cowering behind him.”

 

“Now Remus said he taught Harry using a boggart. Unfortunately, our boggart met an untimely demise at the end of Annie’s wand. We can’t even be sure that a boggart would a Dementor for you, though it might be possible. Remember not everyone can learn this spell and it is a Sixth Year spell; so don’t feel bad if you don’t master it the first time very few do…”

 

Dudley wanted to learn and he wanted to know that spell now in case a Dementor ever stood before him again. ”Teach me.” he said stubbornly.

 

Sirius nodded, “Patroni are a bit like animagi forms and wands they seem to chose their wizard after a fashion. Often a person’s patronus and animagus form is the same, though not all persons who can cast a patronus can cast a coporeal one like Harry can. His is the same as James, a stag as you saw. Likewise not all persons who are Animagi can cast a patronus. James was very keen at transfiguration and he was the first of us to transform. He knew what our forms would be before we did and we learned to be Animagi before we could cast a patronus. All of us; McGonagall, James and myself our animagus form and out patronus are the same.”

 

“What’s an animagus?” Dudley frowned.

 

Sirius snickered, “I have the ability to change into an animal.” His body shimmered and then in his place was a large black dog whose breed Dudley didn’t know.

 

Dudley whistled, “That’s swell…”

 

Sirius was a huge dog, Dudley was sure that the wizard would be close to his human height if he stood on his hind legs. He was lean too and huge, cutting a rather intimidating figure.

 

Then Sirius changed back, raising his wand, he intoned with a smirk, “Expecto Patronum!”

 

Silvery light exploded from his wand and quickly formed a dog not unlike the form that Sirius had changed into.

 

Dudley grinned, “I want to learn to do that!”

 

“That is what we are here for is it not?” Sirius said smugly, “You already heard the incantation, it’s Expecto Patronum. The Order uses their Patroni to send messages when normal communication is unavailable or unsafe.”

 

“That’s what Harry did when he told his stag to find you.” Dudley exclaimed excitedly.

 

Sirius nodded, “Yes, he did. A bit of a surprise really, we weren’t aware he knew of that ability. The Patronus charm is difficult because it’s not just wand work and an incantation; it requires a powerful happy memory.”

 

Dudley closed his eyes, letting the first time his robot won a tournament fill his mind and before Sirius really could give any more instruction Dudley roared, “Expecto Patronum!”

 

 A silver mist spilled from his wand, it semi-solidified into a feline-like shape before it dissipated into silver rain.

 

Sirius clapped, “Well done! You catch on fast.”

 

Dudley scowled, “I didn’t succeed.”

 

“You did!” Sirius crowed, “Not even Annie could cast that much of a patronus her first attempt! Neither did James or Lily, hell it was corporeal for a minute and that’s unheard of too.”

 

After the first attempt, Dudley gave the patronus spell a few more tries but the spell manifested in a similar manner.

 

Sirius eventually called a halt and they practiced lesser spells.

Andromeda accompanied Dudley to the potions lab she'd refurbished where she had been instructing him in the fine art of brewing.

 

"What are we doing today Healer Tonks?" Dudley asked politely but nervously.

 

"We shall brew the forgetfulness potion. First recite the twelve uses for dragon's blood from your reading."

 

Dudley recited seven and then grinned, "The least known is it has healing properties to those with active creature inheritances. The two most commonly known are oven cleaner and spot remover."

 

"Now I would like to speak to you honestly. Yesterday I paid a visit to Number Four."

 

Dudley blanched, "Privet Drive Number Four? My parents?"

 

Andromeda frowned. "I spoke with them and I paid them two hundred thousand pounds for the 'care' they've given you both. I found no blood wards that would protect Harry the way that Dumbledore asserted. That was a cauldron of spoilt potion. Now they signed over custody of you both to me. I am according to the Ministry and Gringotts your legal guardian. I have permission from the Department of Magical Children to adopt you as my son. I can with your permission make you biologically my son if you desire it. It would be as if you were a son born to me."

 

Dudley swallowed, "They really don't want me? I've been trying not the think about it."

 

Andromeda shrugged, "Then don't. You are very bright young man from what I hear. Ted and I have discussed it and he is in favour of the idea of adopting you."

 

"Really?" Dudley asked like a kid being offered a sweet.

 

"Of course. We would expect that you continue to study hard. You will be given the same chances as everyone else. We will trust that you will try hard to improve yourself. Ted and I have a home that hopefully you can spend the solstice holidays at. I will have a room prepared there. Unfortunately, our wards aren't as strong or as ancient as those on this place so you can't decorate it yourself. I will instruct Gilly to do so. It will be your private place, Gilly may look after you a bit but I will expect you to be organized."

 

Dudley frowned, "What about Harry?"

 

"While he is legally my ward he will have a place in my home but my guardianship is mostly in name. As long as Sirius takes care of himself I shall allow him to have input in Harry's care as long as Harry remains a minor."

 

Dudley nodded, "As long as Harry is given responsible care I have no objection. I would prefer to be the son of persons who were proud of me for proper reasons and didn't call me babyish nicknames that made me unlikely to invite friends to visit."

 

"As for friends I would have to meet them first and their parents. During times as dangerous as this I would prefer to be careful." Andromeda warned.

 

Dudley shrugged.

 

"I believe that this potion is part of Severus' first year exam. However in light of his dislike of Harry he may treat you similarly. So we will practice the difficult potions are quizzes he may give you. Trust me once you have the fundamentals I shall attempt to intimidate you and make you forget." Andromeda sniffed.

 

Dudley retrieved his potions textbook from his pocket and tapped it to return it to full size.

 

He then proceeded to open it to proper page he skimmed the list of ingredients again before retrieving them and setting them out in order of use. He set his wand on the table beside his book and began to brew.

 

Andromeda watched him and said little. The boy has some talent, if she could get him to shrug off her intimidation when he knew what to do and how to do it properly she dared Severus Snape to upset him and make him fail.

 

XoooooX

 

Dudley was on his way to dinner when he realized that Harry was the only housemate who hadn’t volunteered to teach him.

 

He took the seat on Harry’s other side and turned to his cousin, “Don’t you have any particular magical skills like them?” waving his hand in the vague direction of his teachers.

 

Harry snorted, “Never saw myself as a teacher type really, anyway while I’m decent at Charms and Defence you’d be better off learning from Remus and Sirius. Sirius has been out there; he fought Death Eaters and other Dark Wizards because he was an Auror and an Order member. So I figured he would be a good teacher, besides you probably have a lot in common.”

 

Dudley frowned, “Oh…I thought you just didn’t want to bother…”

 

Harry snorted, “I thought we agreed we were friends after I saved your life.”

 

Dudley flushed, “We are…I dunno you spend so much time with you know George I thought maybe you were avoiding me…

 

George well, Dudley thought it was George; since the mirror twin was teasing Hermione.

 

“Well since you aren’t teaching me,  maybe you could help me practice?” Dudley asked nervously.

 

“Don’t go making Harry do your work for you.” George said sharply.

 

Dudley scowled, “I maybe a bully but I am no cheater.”

 

XoooooX

 

After Dinner Andromeda, Ted, Sirius and Dudley headed to her spell lab where they would cast the blood adoption charm.

 

They used silver knives to shed small amounts of blood.

 

Andromeda and Ted squeezed their blood into one silver goblet while Dudley did so in another.

 

Sirius using the Black family wand cast the spell in conjunction with his cousin and her bonded.

 

"Sanguinem mutatio adoptionis."

 

Dudley crumbled to the floor, fighting to bit back whimpers. He hadn't realized that having his blood changed hurt! She left that bit out on purpose, that meant this was a test. While never fond of pain he experienced, Dudley took it as stoically as he could. He supposed that it was due punishment for tormenting Harry for a dozen years.

 

Then the pain went away…

 

Dudley sat on the stone floor gasping.

 

"You did well. Now that you are our son we can talk about a name. You've spent fifteen years going by Dudley so I suppose we ought to keep it. According to Dursley your middle name was Basil. If you wish to have it changed to something fitting the son of a Black."

 

"I'm not partial to the name Basil." Dudley shrugged.

 

"How about Hercules? You look a lot slimmer and more like Ted now in the facial structure but you have the height and build of a Black." Andromeda observed conjuring a mirror.

 

"Perfect for a Beater and with the twins graduating you'll probably be trained." Sirius smirked.

 

Dudley examined his reflection, his muscles stood out more, and he wasn't as podgy as he's been before. His build was a lot like Sirius'…surely the man's clothes from his younger years that he'd been given would fit better now. He chuckled to himself, making a muscle, "Hercules huh? Dudley Hercules Tonks…"

 

"Black-Tonks." Sirius smirked. "I'm going to file with Gringotts for the Crouch estate. The mother of former Head of that family was a Black. He was part of my being locked up and I think he owes it to me."

 

Andromeda shook her head, "Wait on that. I've got Amelia looking into your farce of a trial. She's not pleased at all that Persephone and some of her other Aurors know you're innocent and possibly your whereabouts but haven't started an investigation. I planted seeds to have Albus investigated for misconduct. As my son, if Gilly is registered as his personal elf she can sneak notes from them about how the school is running, which I can pass on to Amelia. While the School is above and outside the Ministry's control if the Headmaster breaks Ministry laws they can and ought to try him."

 

"So um what am I to do now…mother?" Dudley asked nicely.

 

"Take a nap. I'll wake you for your Astronomy lesson." Andromeda instructed.

 

Dudley nodded, "Yes mother."

 

Dudley left the room.

 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds Expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

  
  
Dudley was in 'Uncle Sirius' old room with the sexy bikini models and motorcycles posters. He wasn't happy to be sharing a room with someone as awful as that Ron whose antics and betrayal he'd been regaled with by Hermione and Fred who muttered about treacherous weasels. His roommate was a weasel and they weren't sure when he'd be unweaselled. Was that a word?  
  
Dudley didn't really care whether it was or not…  
  
While he had issues with mathematics and writing, he wasn't that horrid at reading.  
  
It was easy to understand his Wizarding textbooks.  
  
He worked through Hermione's annotated First Year textbooks with ease…  
  
Dudley practised his spells that he’d learned today over and over, reviewing her notes. Hermione was pretty gorgeous for a genius. Fred was one lucky bloke; he hoped the older boy knew how much.  
  
He'd encouraged Hermione and Fred to take a break for a few hours and promised to be a good boy and study. Being a fifteen-year old First Year was cringe-worthy. Dudley didn't really want to be a second year either so he studied day and night.  
  
Hermione tutored him in History of Magic, Fred in Transfiguration, Remus in Charms, Andromeda in Potions and Sirius in Defence. Andromeda was also a dab hand at Astronomy, apparently it was a Black family passion, which made sense considering that she was named after a constellation, and George was keen with Herbology…  
  
Dudley wanted to get good marks for once in his life; he did not want to embarrass Harry or his tutors.  
  
He loved having magic and living somewhere he could practice was so cool.  
  
He'd been given a hideous goblet to transfigure into a rat and had been surprised to do it the first time and it even looked like a rat that Piers used to own.  
  
Practising all the time was like training for a quest…  
  
Dudley usually played as a Tauren Monk from the Ragetotem tribe with a quarterstaff and his fists as his weapons with light armour but a wand was pretty cool. Being a seven-foot tall, four hundred pound Minotaur-like creature made it fun to beat up trolls. Of course with Orcs as allies it was interesting.  
  
He was enjoying his practising until something snapped like a giant rubber band.  
  
 _"Fuck George."_  
  
Dudley choked.  
  
What the hell?  
  
Sure Harry's room was just across the hall but what the…  
  
He had been a little curious before about whether the Cedric bloke was Harry's boyfriend but seriously he didn't want to hear something like that. Dudley wasn't homophobic like his father; he was more ambivalent.   
  
Mostly due to his befriending the couple that was part of the boxing club…but that didn't mean at all that he wanted to hear that sort of thing.  
  
 _"Harder."_  
  
Dudley groaned, tearing through Hermione's notes for silencing charms.  
  
He finally found one and cast it on each and every wall as well as the door.  
  
When he was surrounded by blissful silence, Dudley fell collapsing backwards on his bed.  
  
"I won't be able to look at either of them for a while." The poor boy groaned, "When I can, I swear I'm going to tease them. I did not want to hear that but I can't wait for the weasel to be tormented by it."  
  
Having come from Number Four with no clothes he was happy to find that with some sizing charms that Sirius' old clothes fit him well.  
  
However having been spoilt by his parents and always having new things unlike Harry, a part of Dudley loathed having hand-me-downs. Yet he felt this was only fair considering how Harry had suffered through wearing his far-too-large clothing.

  
XoooooX

  
At dinner Ted sat with him and grinned, “Tell me about your day.”  
  
Dudley still wasn’t used to having a father who really cared about him…  
  
Nervously he talked about what he’d learned, how good he’d gotten at charms and his fascination with Wizarding History. He swallowed, “I uh learned silencing charms today.”  
  
Ted Tonks clapped him on the back, “That’s brilliant, silencing charms are a fourth year spell I think.”

  
* Flashback *

  
_The day he arrived, Andromeda and her husband Ted took him aside after dinner._   
  
_“This is just a cursory exam of your physical and mental health. Harry and Sirius won’t let us give them one just yet but I’ll bully them into it for their own benefit.” Andromeda sniffed._   
  
_Ted snorted, “Somehow I don’t think Sirius is the type to be convinced of anything. He’s like you in that manner. It must be a Black thing, once you get an idea or perception it’s hard for you to change your mind. If it’s incorrect, then you have to come to that determination yourself and find a way to retract without embarrassing yourself. Heaven help the world if they see that you made a mistake.”_   
  
_Andromeda glared, “Ted…”_   
  
_“Right, the boy… you’re fifteen you said?” Ted asked._   
  
_Dudley swallowed, “Yeah, on June 25.”_   
  
_“Overweight I see. Doing anything about it?” Andromeda drawled._   
  
_Dudley flinched, “Yes? Boxing, weight training, more healthy eating habits and well less sitting on my arse playing video games.”_   
  
_Andromeda sniffed, “Its a good start, help George with the plants while you’re here, I’m sure walking up and down stairs at Hogwarts might do you some good. Harry and Sirius could do with some fattening up but I’ll be informing Gilly about putting you on a different diet. Hermione, Fred and George seem to be rather healthy, that Ginny is a wisp of a thing but not worth noticing.”_   
  
_“Tell me about your schooling and home life Dudley, I want to get a handle of your mindset.”_   
  
_“I was raised to be a spoilt bully if that what you want to know,” Dudley said gruffly, “I was to torment Harry. I was praised equally for poor marks and good ones, I was most surely not a good student.”_   
  
_Ted frowned, “Why is that?”_   
  
_“I made such a stir in class that I rarely learned much,” Dudley admitted ruefully, “I was only passed on to the next grade because of my father’s donations I suspect. It wasn’t until I got to Smeltings that I started to buckle down and study. I was a few days late due to my inpatient surgery to remove that ruddy tail that giant oaf gave me. I got there to find how just how far behind I was, talk about awakening. I started going to tutoring where I found out I had some learning disabilities. My parents wouldn’t have believed that so we came with strategies that helped.”_   
  
_Now the slightly chubby man was intrigued, “What sort of disabilities?”_   
  
_“Ms. Smith called it Dyscalculia and Dysgraphia which means my handwriting and numbers are all jumbled. I have trouble with concepts of time, such as sticking to a schedule or approximating time. I have difficulty finding different approaches to one problem and with mental maths. There was trouble learning maths facts mostly with multiplication and division. I had difficulty developing math problem-solving skills. I have poor long-term memory for math functions, difficulty measuring things and a lack of familiarity with math vocabulary.”_   
  
_“That would be the dyscalculia, what about the dysgraphia?”  Ted asked peering at him through glasses._   
  
_“I have illegible handwriting, it is always a mixture of cursive and print._ _Then there is my habit of saying words out loud while writing. Some times I am concentrating so hard on writing that my comprehension of what's written is missed. I have trouble thinking of words to write, often omitting or not finishing words in sentences, organizing thoughts on paper is difficult and then there is my issue of keeping track of thoughts already written down. I’ve always had difficulty with syntax structure and grammar. My teachers claimed there is a large gap between written ideas and understanding demonstrated when taking to me. My robotics teacher stopped asking to write papers detailing my models. He let me build the darn thing and then asked me what my plan was, how the finished product differed and why I change if I changed anything._ _While my maths and writing was horrid, I was rather good at sciences.” Dudley said proudly._   
  
_“I’m a mind healer, something between a neurologist and psychologist. Can I see just for my own amusement whether your dyscalculia and dysgraphia have any magical basis or are just bad luck?” Ted asked curiously._   
  
_Dudley shrugged._   
  
_Ted pointed his wand at him and his lips moved silently, a frown creasing his face._   
  
_Now Andromeda was frowning, “What is it Ted?”_   
  
_“He’s got the mark of a bloodline curse, a mind affecting one. That’s rare for a Muggleborn, it must be a strong one.” Ted muttered darkly, “I’d like a chance to study up on similar ones. Maybe I can offer some other ideas rather then handwriting altering and spelling/grammar check spells. We’ll see, but for the moment why don’t you continue with your usual methods of working around them.”_   
  
_Dudley was a bit confused, a mind curse? One that passed to blood relations? That was something that seemed right out of World of Warcraft…_   
  
_“We’ll be going to Diagon Alley soon for Hogwarts things but if Hermione lends you her books from the first two years then you can start immediately.” Andromeda said thoughtfully._

  
* Flashback ends *

  
Ted frowned at him, “Are you alright?”  
  
Dudley coughed, “Just thinking about how different you are from…Vernon.”  
  
“I’d like to be as different as possible.” Ted said sadly, “Every boy needs a good dad. Maybe one of these days, when I’ve got time off I’ll walk you to the park. Seph and I used to play catch or something. We might be wizards but I tried to teach her things like cricket, football as well as flying. Annie never liked flying much but sometimes we saved up to watch an Arrows match. If you want to play a game let me know, I’m out of practice but I do miss it.”  
  
Now that really different…  
  
Dudley swallowed, “I’d like that. I know I’ll be pretty busy studying to catch up but a game of footie might be fun. Maybe we can ask Harry along or Remus, some time two on two might be better.”  
  
Ted ruffled his hair, “Sure. Although, Seph is welcome.”  
  
“No thanks, I’ve got more important things to do.” Seph grumbled.  
  
Ted sighed, “I thought we could do something as a family.”  
   
Seph sniffed but continued to pout.  
  
Dudley felt a little guilty about causing upheaval.  
  
Ted leaned over to whisper, “This was why we wanted to give her siblings…to prevent her from thinking that she had the right to demand our attention. We tried not to spoil her, we had busy jobs and there was a war going on. Unfortunately, she was the centre of our world when we were home…”  
  
Dudley didn’t think she grew up the way he had but he could see her sense of entitlement. He could just imagine how he would have handled his mother having another ‘perfect’ child and he had a horrible feeling he would have behaved the same. Only Petunia wouldn’t have chided him for it and he doubted Vernon would have said much…  
  
He had a lot to think over and he needed to decide just what sort of person he wanted to be now that he was free from Vernon and Petunia.  
  
Andromeda and Ted gave him guidance and support but also let him make his own choices.   
  
Neither prodded him to take classes other then Muggle Studies and Care of Magical Creatures.   
  
Dudley finished his dinner still reflecting, then he going up to finish his homework before bed.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds Expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 - Exams  
  
  
Remus woke Dudley purposely being nosy to disturb Ron whom he disliked for trying to attack Harry. He was preferable as a petrified weasel then as troublesome arrogant teenager. He was completely insufferable.  
  
They met McGonagall at eight in the Receiving Room where she escorted them through the floo to Hogwarts. They emerged in her private office that was above her classroom; her classroom was on the ground floor of the Transfiguration Tower near the Transfiguration Courtyard.  
  
“Your first exam will be Transfiguration. Since you have not been in my classes I have not seen your spell work.”  
  
Dudley pulled out a stack of essays, “A benefit of being tutored by Hermione and Fred. They kicked my arse to write at least half of the first year essays. My spelling is atrocious and my handwriting illegible. They taught me spelling correction charms and a handwriting charm that are both reversible. If you wish to see what I wrote before it was corrected its fine.” He shrugged, “Hermione reckons I have a writing disorder not unlike dyslexia.”  
  
  McGonagallaccepted them and pointed at a set of objects.  
  
Dudley successfully transfigured a rat to a goblet, reversed the transfiguration and then to snuff boxes that looked very much like the one that George owned that contained something called Wartcap powder whatever that was  
  
The deck became a pig that became a crystal goblet. He successfully transfigured a match to needle and switched the pig for an owl.  
  
Dudley was a bit smug, “What do you think? Did I pass?”  
  
“You did alright. I shall have to examine your essays.” McGonagall sniffed.  
  
Remus turned to her, “Where to next?”  
  
“Filius is up the staircase that’s down the Corridor. He’s waiting.”  
  
Dudley and Remus went to leave.  
  
“Wait. Pop question.”  
  
Dudley turned, “Yes?”  
  
“The Transfiguration formula.”  
  
Dudley restrained himself from rolling his eyes, she was trying to intimidate him, “An intended transformation is directly influenced by (a) bodyweight, (v) viciousness, (w) wand power, (c) concentration, and (Z) a fifth unknown variable.”  
  
McGonagall explained what the variable of ‘Z’ was.  
  
Dudley nodded, “Trust a Transfiguration Mistress to remember something like that. Like you said, I’ve only been studying magic for ten days. You can’t possibly expect me to remember everything.”  
  
“I shall review and grade your essays.”  
  
“Thanks and good day.” Dudley said leaving the classroom. He did not like her much…  
  
Remus led him on to Filius’ classroom, which was 2E despite being on the third floor.  
  
“Dudley Tonks? My, my I taught your adopted parents and your aunt. Both were phenomenal at my branch of Study. Andromeda became a respected healer and Lily went on to work for the Department of Experimental Charms as a researcher.” Filius said shaking his hand. “Your cousin is talented as well, when he isn’t being distracted by Mr. Weasley of course.”  
  
“The way the summer is going you shan’t have to deal with that. They hardly speak.” Dudley shrugged, “About my exam?”  
  
“Yes well now I normally have seen students work in class all year so I just have a pineapple.” Filius frowned.  
  
“I learned all sort of cool charms from Remus.” Dudley grinned, “What do you want to see?”  
  
“Now Remus was another outstanding student. He was utterly wasted as a Defence Instructor. He may know the subject but he is gifted at the subject of Charms. Severus was the only duellist who ever really beat me and he did so the first time at fifteen. He’s a fine potion master but he could have gone farther with duelling.” Filius sighed.  
  
“I have essays. It was part of my studying, between Hermione and Remus they made sure I completed a number of the assigned essays to prove I know the subject.” Dudley offered handing over a shrunken stack of essays, “They were only edited for errors and my dreadful handwriting.”  
  
“How ingenious. I wish I’d thought to ask the whole situation is quite unusual and I hadn’t really had much of a chance to decide how to test you. I merely pulled out a handful of props from a few of the memorable lesions.” Filius skimmed the essays, “I think you’ll do quite well.”  
  
Dudley retrieved his wand from his sleeve and pointed it at the feather. “Wingardium Leviosa.”  
  
It soared into the air at first cast and danced in circles until he cast a finite at it, which caused it to flutter to the tabletop.  
  
Filius clapped, “Well done! Remus I knew you should be teaching this class!”  
  
Dudley held his wand up and spoke, “Lumos.”  
  
His wand tip lit up magnificently nearly blinding them.  
  
“Oh sorry. Nox.” Dudley blushed; he’d overpowered it again.  
  
“Why don’t you burn the feather young man?” Filius advised.  
  
Dudley pointed his wand at it, “Incendio.”  
  
It ignited and soon disappeared into ash.  
  
“Spongify.” Dudley cast at the table and the pineapple slowly bobbed like it was on a trampoline.  
  
“I know you used the tap dancing charm on a textbook at the Council of Magical Law but might I have a look?” Filius asked.  
  
Smirking, Dudley cast the spell before ending the charm on the table.  
  
It was quite funny to see the pineapple trying to dance on an unfirm surface.  
  
The three laughed.  
  
“Mr. Tonks you will be a delight. Almost as fun as watching Lily and Remus in class or even Ted; I taught them all. I haven’t been here as long as Albus but I have been here the second longest. I predated Minerva and Pomona though to be fair Minerva started just two years after graduation. Such a shame poor woman…” Filius gave them a forced smile, “Well happier thoughts. I’ll have a look at these essays but I think that you’ll pass with an Exceeds Expectations for you have but without the essays you’re bordering on Outstanding already.”  
  
“Who is next?”  
  
“Minerva will be last for History of Magic. She had to write the exam due to the pathetic excuse that Binns arranged. The textbook ends at 1950 and he tests on something in 1962? Bah! He should be replaced. He died during Dippet’s tenure and was never replaced.” The Charms Master grumbled. “Aurora had me charm the ceiling to look like the night sky. Over each house are the stars for a single season. She wanted to give them impression of astronomy. She’s next. Then Severus and Pomona.”  
  
“I suppose I’m after Pomona then?”  
  
“Yes. The test is waiting in your old classroom.” Filius replied.  
  
Remus nodded, “Off to the Great Hall then.”  
  
It was just nine now, the two wizards hurried.  
  
Remus smiled at Aurora Sinistra whom had been a bit older then he was but they were now former colleagues. “Aurora.”  
  
“Remus. Mr. Tonks, your test is on the sol system. Using the quill and ink provided please fill in the planets and what moons you remember.” A slim but yet beautiful black woman instructed.  
  
Dudley nodded sitting down at the second table where the test was laid out.  
  
Sol.  
  
Mercury.  
  
No moon.  
  
Venus.  
  
No moon.  
  
Earth/Terra.  
  
1 moon:  
Luna  
  
Mars  
  
2 Moons:  
Deimos  
Phobos  
  
Ceres  
  
No moon.  
  
Jupiter.  
  
Andromeda had said there were 64 but likely only 16 would be expected.  
  
Adrastea  
Amalthea  
Ananke  
Callisto  
Carme  
Elara  
Europa  
Ganymede  
Himalia  
Io  
Leda  
Lysithea  
Metis  
Pasiphae  
Sinope  
Thebe  
Themisto  
  
So he listed seventeen rather than sixteen, that ought to give him more points right? And it would please his mother.  
  
Next was Saturn of course.  
  
Atlas  
Calypso  
Dione  
Enceladus  
Epimetheus  
Helene  
Hyperion  
Iapetus  
Janus  
Mimas  
Pan  
Pandora  
Prometheus  
Rhea  
Telesto  
Thethys  
Titan  
  
There were 62 but he had seventeen. They usually asked for twelve.  
  
It was helpful that the Blacks were obsessed with astronomy…  
  
Uranus was next and it had twenty-seven  
  
Ariel  
Belinda  
Bianca  
Cordelia  
Cressida  
Desdemona  
Juliet  
Miranda  
Oberon  
Orphelia  
Perdita  
Portia  
Puck  
Rosalind  
Titania  
Umbriel  
  
That made sixteen.  
  
Neptune had thirteen.  
  
Despina  
Galatea  
Larissa  
Naiad  
Nereid  
Proteus  
Thalassa  
Triton  
  
They wanted seven and he gave them eight.  
  
Pluto had five.  
  
Charon  
Nyx  
Hydra  
Morpheus  
Cerberus  
  
Eris had one.  
  
Dysnomia  
  
Makemake  
  
No moons.  
  
Haumea  
  
Two moons:  
  
Hi’iaka  
Namaka  
  
Unlike his Muggle science classes, Andromeda said there were fourteen planets.  
  
The last was Typhon, which had two moons  
  
Charybdis  
Scylla  
  
Typhon was huge, larger then Jupiter and sometimes altered the orbits of other planets. It was only visible by wizards, which led to suspicions that either Muggles weren’t advanced enough to see it or it was inhabited by a magical race that allowed it to cloak itself.  
  
Dudley signed his exams with a flourish and then tapped it to adjust his atrocious spelling. He also altered his handwriting to be legible.  
  
“What are you doing Mr. Tonks?”  
  
“Fixing my spelling and making it readable.” Dudley said handing over the exams.  
  
“Surprising. How did you manage to learn all that in ten days?” the woman frowned at him.  
  
“My adopted mother is a Black. Andromeda Tonks? She insisted as the son of a Black I had to learn it. She had me reading books and up late at night to watch the stars.” Dudley shrugged.  
  
“Outstanding. You’ll pass this subject at least.”  
  
Dudley handed over five essays. “I did these as well. They aren’t all the essays but a few.”  
  
Aurora accepted them. “That will do then. Best to not keep Severus waiting.”  
  
A very nervous Remus escorted him down to the dungeons. The werewolf knocked on the door.  
  
A gruff voice came from within. “Enter.”  
  
Dudley sighed; he couldn’t be all bad if Remus liked him.  
  
They entered together.  
  
“Lupin! You did your duty now get out. I won’t have you in here. The only brewers worse then you are Pettigrew and Longbottom.”  
  
The werewolf sigh, “Nice to see you too Severus. I’ll be outside Dudley. Good luck.”  
  
“He’ll need it.” Snape sneered.  
  
All false bravado, Dudley noticed. The man actually looked pained when Remus left shutting the door behind him without a protest.  
  
“I heard Andromeda taught you.”  
  
“Mother is very good. First Class.”  
  
“Well.” Severus sneered, “We’ll see if you live up to her expectations and abilities.”  
  
Dudley was quizzed on the twelve uses of dragons blood, ordered to retrieve the ingredients for Wiggenweld Potion, and asked about Aconite, Bezoars and what an infusion of wormwood and powdered asphodel would made.  
  
He answered them calmly not being intimidated by the man. He swore his mother invented intimidation.  
  
“Very well now brew the Forgetfulness potion.”  
  
With clear concise gestures taught by Andromeda, Dudley selected his ingredients, arranged them in order of usage and prepared them in the proper form. He heated the cauldron checking it with thermometer charms before correctly adding and mixing the ingredients. When it was finished without any mistakes he bottled it and escorted it to his proctor.  
  
Severus Snape sneered at him, “You seem to be alright at the subject.”  
  
“Andromeda made me do these.” Dudley handed over seven essays on potions that Hermione and Andromeda remembered.  
  
Severus snatched them, “At least you’re writing isn’t as horrid as your cousin’s.”  
  
Dudley smirked, “Oh it is. This is after spelling correction charms and handwriting adjusting charms. You wouldn’t be able to read it at all without them. I never was any good at spelling. We typed our papers at Smeltings. I didn’t really learn how to write essays until then because they were stricter there then at St. Gregory’s. Then again I used to disrupt class then. It wasn’t until I realized how much I didn’t learn that I started to buckle down and pay attention.”  
  
“A pity someone related to Lily would be a poor student then again Petunia wasn’t very academically inclined and was extremely jealous of Lily.” Severus grumbled.  
  
“You knew Petunia?” Dudley frowned.  
  
“We lived in the same town and went to the same primary school. Lily and I were friends from the time we were seven. I was the first person to tell her she was a witch.” The potions master shrugged.  
  
“Were you friends forever? Why doesn’t Harry like you or know this? He never mentioned it.” Dudley frowned.  
  
“I don’t treat my students any better or worse for knowing their parents. Mr. Potter is a spoilt attention seeking, rule breaking gloryhound.”  
  
“Harry’s not spoilt. He was starved and kept in a cupboard. He worked like a house elf. He had my hand-me-downs; he never had anything of his own until he came here. Vernon used to smack him around. After your lot came into the picture with his letters, he got my second bedroom that was full of junk.”  
  
“What are you talking about?” Severus stared at him.  
  
“He’s my cousin and I wasn’t always nice to him. My parents wanted me to hate him. They took me on expensive trips and we left him with Ms. Figg. He never had a decent birthday present or even a Christmas present. He had old socks; a wire hanger and other junk but not like me. I had all sort of crap I broke or didn’t use. All of which was tossed in the room Harry slept in. He was still sleeping in my old coverable toddler bed when the Order took him away for good. He had a lock on his door and bars in the windows. Vernon was a bit mad I think.” Dudley shrugged.  
  
“You can’t be serious. Surely, Albus would have taken him away.” The Death Eater spy glared.  
  
“He didn’t even bother to get Harry off when he knew he was innocent. No he just let the Ministry try him illegally for saving us. Morons.” The former boxer grumbled.  
  
“Get off with you and take your tales with you.”  
  
“If you don’t believe me you can go check out the house yourself.” Dudley said making his way outside.  
  
“How did it go?” Remus asked nervously.  
  
“I lectured him about his obviously misconceptions about Harry and he told me to get out.” Dudley frowned.  
  
“He thinks Harry is just like James however I fail to see it. Harry hasn’t singled out any Slytherins for torture, torment and pranking.” Remus sighed.  
  
They made their way out to the greenhouse where Dudley met the Herbology Professor.  
  
“My my, the boy of the year. Ready to be quizzed?”  
  
Dudley identified all of the plants he was asked to and had to use Incendio to subdue the Devil’s Snare that tried to attack him.  
  
He handed off his Herbology essays and was bid farewell.  
  
Dudley then was taken back to the third floor where the Defence against the Dark Arts exam would be held.  
  
Remus conjured dummies and asked Dudley to show his spellwork by casting the Curse of the Bogies, the Knockback jinx and Verdimillious.  
  
The Lumos had already been successfully demonstrated to Filius.  
  
Then Remus asked him to explain the process of diagnosing and treating werewolf bites.  
  
Remus patted the large boy’s shoulder, “Outstanding.”  
  
Dudley handed over the essays that Sirius had assigned from the list Hermione gave him.  
  
“I’ll read these and tell you what I think of them. Now it’s back to Minerva to sit your History of Magic exam.”  
  
They returned to McGonagall who was bit surprised to see them.  
  
“Finished already?”  
  
Remus nodded.  
  
“Very well the history exam is on that desk.” McGonagall waved and turned back to his essays.  
  
Dudley examined it.  
  
It wasn’t about self-stirring cauldrons that was for sure. Rather, it was something from the textbook at least.  
  
It was a list of five essay questions on the Soap Blizzard of 1378, Werewolf Code of Conduct, Emeric the Evil, Uric the Oddball and Elfric the Eager.  
  
He had to answer three so he chose the Soap Blizzard of 1378, the Werewolf Code of Conduct and Elfric the Eager.  
  
Dudley finished them with a tired groan and tapped the exam with his wand to correct his spelling and alter his handwriting to something legible.  
  
Then he handed the essay to the Transfiguration Mistress.  
  
He handed her the seven essays that Hermione had assigned him.  
  
“Very well. You will be informed of your results tomorrow. If you receive at least Acceptables you will be allowed to sit exams on the twenty-seventh.”  
  
Dudley was starving when they flooed back to Grimmauld for what felt like a late lunch.  
  
His teenage tutors were all excited and babbled questions at him about what his exams were and how they differed from the ones they’d had.  
  
“Children! Give him a break. I think he deserves a reward for his hard work. He has the day off from studying.” Andromeda ordered.  
  
Dudley gave her a grateful and worshipful look.  
  
“Instead he may have his first Flying lesson. Whether he is officially a third year or a second year he may have his own broom. He might as well have a lesson. After all, every witch or wizard should know how to fly whether they enjoy it or not.” Andromeda smirked.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds Expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 - A Flying Lesson by the Weasleys  
  
  
After lunch a very excited Dudley hurried up to his room to fetch his broom from under the bed.  
  
Ron having little else to do followed him, “Why do you have that broom?”  
  
“Harry thought I needed a broom. He said he learned on a Nimbus and it was good for a beginner. Since I’ve always been good at Phys Ed he thought I’d be decent at it.” Dudley shrugged, “Why do you care?”  
  
“My prefect gift was supposed to be my own broom. But I’m going to need another wand. Dad won’t tell me what sort of wand I’ll have.” Ron pouted. “I got a new one last time but it was only a Kindle because they couldn’t afford an Ollivander.”  
  
“With your behaviour prefect or not you don’t deserve a new wand.” Dudley sniffed as he left.  
  
“Like you’re much better.” Ron hollered after him.  
  
“At least I’m trying to mend my ways.” Dudley muttered as he headed out to the cleared backyard.  
  
Well Harry’s temper had a few good results…  
  
The twins were up on their new brooms testing them out and Harry was up doing dizzying antics on that broom he called a Firebolt.  
  
Harry grinned, “Just a minute.”  
  
Then he did a spectacular dive that had Dudley’s heart in his throat.  
  
George shouted, “Damn it Harry! I know you’re talented but fuck! That’s a Wronski Feint, the most dangerous move in Quidditch.”  
  
Dudley watched stunned when Harry managed to pull up three feet from the ground and then his cousin landed.  
  
 George scowled at him when he joined him on the ground. “Idiot, you’re not Krum!”  
  
“How am I going to get anything like him if I don’t practice?” Harry scoffed.  
  
“You’re not a professional Quidditch player!” George snapped.  
  
“I don’t want to be one! I think I’ll become a snake breeder. Knowing I own that snake shop and those books on snakes made me think about. You’re a damn fine Beater but you won’t consider flying anymore then Charlie!” Harry tossed back.  
  
Fred groaned, “Stop yelling. Merlin! It’s just a stunt. He wasn’t hurt. It’s not like the time when his Nimbus was cursed and he was almost thrown seventy feet to the ground. Or the time when the Bludger went nuts and tried to kill him and he ended up with a broken arm or the time when he fell off in the storm. When he’s not affected by curses, mad Bludgers or storms he’s a keen Seeker. The youngest in a century, remember?”  
  
George pouted.  
  
“You’re just miffed if he’d hurt you’ll be blamed or what not. Like he’d be banned by Andromeda from sex if that happened.” Fred scoffed.  
  
George turned red, “That’s not true! He’s just my friend. I don’t want him to put himself in danger! Between threats related to old Snakeface every year and the Dursleys I don’t think he should risk his life anymore then he has to!”  
  
Hermione chuckled, “You’re both crazy.”  
  
“Just because you don’t like flying don’t pretend to know anything.” Harry glared.  
  
“I might not enjoy flying but I enjoy the sport. I just prefer to keep my feet on the ground. I’m not like Percy with two left feet when it comes to flying.” Hermione snorted.  
  
“How did you know that?” Fred frowned.  
  
“I might have overheard Oliver teasing him once.” Hermione shrugged.  
  
Dudley cleared his throat, “If you are quite through I thought I had a flying lesson.”  
  
The twins and Harry crowded near him and showed him how to mount his broom, how to grip the broom handle and where so he’d have the most control.  
  
Dudley watched curious, nervously copying their gestures and positions.  
  
Hermione had a dreary old blanket that she’d used to sprawl out with a few books.  
  
Perhaps she was plotting for his lessons already.  
  
Dudley ignored her, putting studying out of his head. 

  
XoooooX

  
The three Gryffindor Quidditch team members taught Dudley how fly and found the boy was a natural.  
  
“Well now…he reminds me of Sirius on a broom.”  
  
The four looked down to see Remus watching them.  
  
Under Remus’ left arm was a crate of Quidditch balls and in his hand was a Nimbus 2001.   
  
Sirius who was standing beside him had a Firebolt.  
  
Harry called out, “When did you two have brooms?”  
  
Remus grumbled, “Sirius made me go buy them. I was to buy two Firebolts but I chose a cheaper model. At that price I was not spending that much on a broom. Especially with the cost of a deluxe practice Quidditch set.”  
  
“What’s a deluxe?” Fred asked.  
  
“It comes it all the normal Quidditch stuff but has two sets of Beater bats.”  Remus shrugged. “It’s a bit boring for a Quidditch match right now but Charlie is due back from Romania about the time of Dudley’s second set of exams. He’s a former seeker. We can have a real match then if we can scrounge up some Keepers.”  
  
“Why don’t we ask Bill and maybe Oliver? Ollie maybe a Quidditch fiend but he is a decent wizard. He’d be a set of eyes in the Quidditch circles.” Fred offered.  
  
“Well what are we going to do since we’re a few short?” Harry asked curious.  
  
“Toss the Quaffle around. Something like Muggle Volleyball or Keep away.”  
  
Dudley smirked, “I always was very good at Keep Away.”  
  
“Not hard when you tower over people you big lummox.” Harry grumbled.  
  
“Well you still could grow. You can’t possible stay 5’1” forever.”  
  
“I’m 5’2” you idiot!” Harry glared.  
  
“My mistake.” Dudley laughed.  
  
The Quaffle was released and the wizards set out to play.   
  
Remus, Sirius and Harry versus Fred, Dudley and George started to play.  
  
Hermione paused in her reading to glance up every so often to watch them because they were laughing loudly.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds Expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	19. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In part this is Dudley's POV of the Black family shopping chapter but not all is reiteration.

Chapter 18   
  
  
Dudley was listening to Hermione talk to Sirius and Andromeda with half an ear while he ate his breakfast. He was served a more health conscience breakfast considering of a small dish of cottage cheese, a slice of rye toast, a hard-boiled egg and a dish of fresh fruit.  
  
Sirius and Harry were always served more fattening breakfasts with lots of ham and eggs.  
  
“I know that Dudley and Harry are completely happy with wearing Regulus and Sirius’ old clothes but aren’t they out of date?” Hermione mused.  
  
Dudley resisted a snort, he wasn’t happy wearing cast-offs but he considered it a sort of penance for Harry having to wear his for thirteen going on fourteen years.  
  
Andromeda nodded, “To be sure.”  
  
“If Harry is the heir to two lordships and Dudley is the scion of a Great House now, their clothes should reflect their status should it not? Since they don’t have to return to Number Four, they don’t have to worry about what those Muggles would say about their attire.” Hermione continued, “We can’t really go traipsing about Diagon Alley and Sirius,” Hermione glared, “refuses to go to Rue de Leon. So I’ve come up with a compromise…”  
  
Dudley perked up at that, clothes? He had nothing really from his possessions from Privet Drive and he was used to starting school with new clothes.  
  
Andromeda steepled her fingers, “What sort of compromise?”  
  
“Well, if they can’t be dressed in suitable Wizarding attire; why not go with the Muggle equivalent? After all properly fitted and tailored clothing will be noticed. Besides,” Hermione blushed, “I have to buy new tops and under things…”  
  
“Where would you suggest?” Andromeda smirked.  
  
“Westfield London? Its home to stores belonging to top designers.” Hermione shrugged. “That’s where we’ve always shopped.”  
  
Dudley swallowed, “Westfield? I know Mu…Petunia always wanted to go shopping there but Vernon wouldn’t let her. He said it was too expensive.”  
  
“Nothing is too expensive for the Blacks.” Sirius snorted. “After all the work you have put into returning the house to a state of glory, I think a shopping trip for new wardrobes would be excellent repayment. I think that we should visit Gringotts and have them pull the money from the main vault. I think we all need new wardrobes, can you imagine how eccentric I would be if I started dressing in high-fashion Muggle attire once I’m free? Especially now that physically I show no sign of ever having been in that ghastly place, the birds would come crawling and beg for my attentions.”  
  
“How much would you recommend?” Andromeda frowned.  
  
Hermione shrugged, “I never go shopping without at least twenty thousand, but for a full wardrobe? At least fifty thousand I’d say, maybe eighty…”  
  
Severus scowled, “Who all should go on this ‘adventure’?”  
  
Hermione grinned at him, “Well, I was thinking myself, Fred, George, Harry, Dudley, Andromeda, Sirius under a glamour of course, Remus and I hoped you’d come professor. You’re always applying for the Defence post and you’re like a god at potions…you’d be an excellent guard.”  
  
Severus scowled, “I have no need or desire to go shopping with a group of teenagers.”  
  
Remus sighed, “You’d trust Sirius in Muggle London under a glamour with only Andromeda to keep him in line? You know how he was in school with the ladies; can you imagine him as an adult?”  
  
Severus groaned, “Horrors, a rich pampered playboy loose in London at a high-class shopping centre no doubt filled with rich bitches? Merlin…what a nightmare…”  
  
“Then you’ll come?” Hermione asked winsomely innocent.  
  
“As if I have a choice…” Severus grumbled.  
  
Remus squeezed his hand grinning, “Thank you.”  
  
“Don’t thank me yet.” Severus said darkly.  
  
“Gringotts first. Then how to get to Westfield London?” Sirius frowned in thought.  
  
“I’ve practiced making portkeys…” Hermione blushed. “I think I’m pretty decent at it. Let’s see it’s a Thursday and it’s hot today. So I think that the top floor of the parking garage should be empty. Mum’s parked there before so I know it. It wouldn’t be hard to make a portkey that would take us there. It should be relatively safe. We can deposit the money from Gringotts into my personal account, the people at the bank know me. With some spells on the cash they should be very accommodating. The money will immediately available and so when the charges hit my account first thing tomorrow morning there will be plenty of money. It helps that we bank with Halifax, which is the largest bank in the UK and they just happen to have a branch at Westfield London. Normally I deposit a check from father but this time I’ll have cash and bodyguards as well as my usual female attendant. Although I’ve never gone shopping with friends…”   
  
“It’s settled then. We’ll want to appear stylish correct?” Andromeda said imperiously.  
  
Hermione nodded, “I’ll fetch my Vogues and i-D,” she clapped her hands, “Oh wouldn’t you look just fetching dressed like Princess Diana…”  
  
Andromeda coughed, “The Princess of Wales? I think that is rather overreaching for a healer.”  
  
Sirius chuckled, “Not if you remain the Public and Political face of the House of Black. Anything good enough for Muggle Royalty is plenty good enough for a Black, Mother used to say that Blacks were the Royalty of the Wizarding World…”  
  
Andromeda flushed, “Well…”  
  
‘Royalty of the Wizarding world?’ Dudley was a bit smug, ‘quite a step up from his upper-middle class upbringing on Privet Drive.’  
  
“Any way you’ve helped gain power in my own house, you marshalled us into fixing this place up properly and you got Harry off. I think that dressing you like a Queen, or in this case a Princess is the best way I can repay you. After all, you were the Queen of Slytherin for what seven years?” Sirius said smugly, “Besides, I have to make up for what mother put you through during her reign as Head of the House of Black.”  
  
“Then I suppose I have no choice other than to accept gracefully.” Andromeda begrudgingly admitted.   
  
Hermione turned her attention to Remus, “As for you Professor you can’t go around in those horrid robes one more minute. Bah! The Slytherins couldn’t keep from insulting you all the time even if you were the best teacher we ever had. I don’t think your clothes will take another mending charm.”  
  
Remus frowned, “I wouldn’t take advantage of Sirius that way. Its bad enough I had to sell my parents’ home to cover part of their debts and live with Sirius until I could get a job of any kind. After Sirius was arrested well, I couldn’t stay at Baskerville and with Ivy Cottage destroyed well that was out. I ended up with Damocles and Corey’s pack…until well Dumbledore asked me to teach. I stayed with them off and on until Sirius reclaimed this place.”  
  
Andromeda pulled out two scrolls of parchment, “I, James Castor Potter, son of Lord Charlus Weylyn Potter being of sound mind and magic do here inscribe my last will and testament. To Remus Lupin I bequeath 100,000 Galleons and the property Faire Fields so that he might always have a place to live. Just in case narrow-minded fools discover his ‘furry little problem’ or his having to declare bankruptcy to deal with his parents’ debt continues to plague him.”   
  
Then she opened the second parchment, “‘I, Lillias Anastasia Potter nee Snape, daughter of Eileen Marcia Snape nee Prince and Oran Edward Nott being of sound mind and magic do here inscribe my last will and testament. To Remus I grant my work with experimental charms, which is to include all my resources and research. I beg him to finish my work and to be sure to credit himself. To be sure that only he can read it, it is written in code and the key is only legible to him due to my having given him the key as a gift. To Remus Lupin I also leave this piece of advice: if you truly love him then fight for him. He deserves love more than anyone else I know. If not, let him go. Perhaps, he might find love with another but I know my brother’s heart. If you break it again, I will find a way to punish you from beyond the Veil. As you can see James left you a property and they both left you 200,000 Galleons.”  
  
Sirius smirked, “Well there you have it Remus, see you can always pay me back later. It will be far simpler to have Andromeda remove the money from the main Black Vault. Once the Potter wills were read I believe the Gringotts custodian of the Potter estate would have seen to it that whatever vault you still had access to had the monies deposited.”  
  
Hermione smirked, “Since Professor Snape is Lord Prince, he too can repay,”  
  
“No.” Sirius said stiffly, “I owe him for nearly getting him killed and for my ill-treatment in school. It’s about time I began to right my mistakes. I know galleons can’t really repay for the hurt I’ve caused but at least I can help him be presentable so no one thinks ill of him.”  
  
“I don’t want to be beholden to you.” Severus scowled.  
  
“Careful now, you promised to be pleasant to one another.” Remus frowned.  
  
“Think of it as my way of apologizing...” Sirius sniffed, “I’m sure 80,000 Galleons is nothing to a Prince…”  
  
Severus returned his attentions to his breakfast without commenting on his acceptance or lack of it.  
  
Hermione bounced a little in her seat.  
  
Fred leaned in to tease her, “I take it you like shopping?”  
  
Hermione blushed, “Oh yes…I usually leave all my good clothes at home though I’ve regretted it whenever I saw all the fine clothes that the Slytherins, Ravenclaws and people like Lavender wore outside classes. I had decided that I should bring them anyway; I’m not a little girl anymore. I hoped I’d be a prefect and as comfortable as jumpers and denims are well they aren’t always everything. Just because that’s ‘the fashion’ in America doesn’t mean that it’s quite as caught on here. I think that some fine cut suits for Sirius, Remus and Severus wouldn’t be amiss. I know just the outfit for Andromeda…the boys are my main problem…if it weren’t so hot Fred and Dudley would rock in leather.”   
  
Dudley coughed, ‘leather? Leather wasn’t quite all the think was it? Petunia would never have agreed to it. It was rather low class wasn’t it?’  
  
“What if we used cooling charms?” Fred smirked, “I’ve always wanted a leather jacket, but mum wouldn’t approve even when Charlie sent us dragon hides. Mum would up and sell them instead…”  
  
Sirius frowned, “Dragon hide fetches quite a handful or so of galleons and your family is still seen as poor. What a pity…”  
  
“More like what does the wench do with it? Salt it away for a rainy day? To pay for Percival’s campaign if he decides to go into politics? Ronald or Ginevra’s future apprenticeships? Perhaps that’s how Percy was hired so quickly as Crouch’s assistant? Perhaps, she bribes Albus…” Andromeda snipped. “She obviously hasn’t given the two of you a knut.”  
  
George snorted, “We’re lucky to have school supplies and clothes on our backs as she often reminds us. It’s horrible that given their former status as pureblood heir and heiress respectfully, that we have so little. No wonder Malfoy makes fun of us…”  
  
“Well,” Andromeda said pompously, “with the proper attire even if its Muggle then you’re at least look the part of purebloods. If the Houses of Prewett and Weasley can’t be bothered to look out for you then as the grandchildren of the House of Black I don’t see why Sirius can’t take you under his wing. Especially since you are both pranksters…”  
  
Ginny’s quiet voice came from the other side of the table, “Can we come?”  
  
Ron was glaring daggers at all of them, “We don’t need charity.” He snarled.  
  
Sirius snorted, “Charity? Do I look the least bit charitable? Hah Blacks don’t hold to charity. I’m paying for the work they did fixing up this monstrosity. It just happens that they have Black blood running through their veins. I checked the family tapestry; you’ve got it on both sides. Cedrella Azaleh, daughter of the House of Black born to Arcturus Severus Black and Lysandra Penelope of the House of Yaxley. Your great-grandmother Lucida Prewett was my Aunt on my father Orion’s side. Your grandfather was Drystan Naos Prewett, her firstborn and only magical child who was bonded to Donu Hassaleh of the House of Burke. Donu was born to Betria Livia of the House of Black and Heber Aurelian of the House of Burke. Two Black grandmothers and a great-grandmother, that makes you as Black as I am even if you are Legally Weasleys and not born to the Elder line.”  
  
“Who wants to be a Black?” Ron spat, “Blacks are filthy Slytherins like Bellatrix Lestrange and the Malfoys. We have a feud with Malfoys and if the Blacks tie blood with them we should spurn them too like the filth they are.”  
  
Andromeda groaned, “Merlin, the feud with Malfoys? What Feud with the Malfoys? You share blood with them and it’s certainly more then just Black blood. Or has Molly forgot that Lucius’ grandmother was born Muriel Prewett? That would be her Great Aunt, after all Muriel is her Grandfather Cador’s younger sister. If madness running in the Black blood I’d say Miss Molly has it.”  
  
“We don’t share blood with Malfoys other than Black.” Ron snarled.  
  
“You do, Muriel is just as egocentric, eccentric and blood conscious as her deceased bonded Ajax. She can’t say one nice thing about Muggleborns, even though it’s considered ill bred she calls them Mudbloods. She takes pleasure in lecturing me about my shame. I didn’t bond to Ted to be defiant nor did I bond to Ted because I don’t believe in my pureblood values. I bonded to Ted because I enjoy his company, I was in a pretty pickle and he was gentleman enough to help me out. He was intelligent enough to guess my predicament and offered me another option. I took it; do I regret my choice? Not especially, would I like my trust vault back? It would be easier to get by if I had it, would I trade my work to be a political hostess? Never, I never desired to live that life, Lucius and I made decent partners in prefect business but he would never have allowed me the amount of freedom I desired. With his mother out of the house, he is worse then ever since he woke up. Sirius can we please send him to his mother?” Andromeda sniffed.  
  
“You can’t do that! I’ll be a target! I’m Harry’s best friend.” Ron scowled.  
  
Harry snorted, “My best friend? You turned on me in the tournament. You have done nothing but make me miserable since I got here. That damn badge has gone to your head. I see no bloody reason to accept your authority. We’re not in school and I probably wouldn’t listen to you anyway.”  
  
“You’ll have to! I’m a prefect and you aren’t. You’re just jealous.” Ron glowered.  
  
“What is there to be jealous of? You’re a small-minded boy with a power complex. You can’t be my friend if you don’t act like one. The twins are my friends, Dudley and Hermione are my friends. I won’t be ordered about by the likes of you. Please Sirius, listen to Andromeda and send him back to The Burrow. I think Dudley would like to room alone thank you.” Harry spat.  
  
“I certainly do not enjoy his company.” Dudley admitted.  
  
“Are you whoring yourself to Harry too?” Ron sneered, “Did you earn your precious Nimbus sucking his broomstick or are you the one fucking him?”  
  
Dudley turned green, “That’s just sick. I don’t care if anyone likes blokes as along as they don’t like me. Harry can fool around with George all he wants. As long as I don’t have to see or hear it, then I’m fine with it. I like birds thank you very much. Harry is far too kind after the arse I’ve been but we’re family. He saved my life and well until I save him-which I don’t quite have the skills yet to do then I’m beholden to him. Thanks to him I have family to be proud of. I have a decent mother who doesn’t treat me like a baby and make me disgusted to invite friends over. I have a father who I can talk to and rely on. Plus I’ve got Sirius who is like the fun uncle I never had. Maybe if Harry wasn’t orphaned he’s like what Uncle James would be like.”  
  
“I really am getting sick of idiot Weasleys who refuse to accept correction. This is my house and I have rules. You and your harpy mother break them at every turn.” Sirius snapped his fingers.  
  
Kreacher arrived. “What Master be needing?” he said in an oily voice that reeked of sarcasm.  
  
“Pack this brat’s things and return him to his mother. He has lost his privileges of residence.” Sirius grasped the dragon egg cane that held the Black family wand, glaring at the boy.  
  
Ron went still and crumbled in his chair.   
  
Sirius sneered at him, “He shan’t remember the location or any of its inhabitants. I doubt anyone could recover it.”  
  
It didn’t take long for Kreacher to return with a sick grin of satisfaction gripping Ron’s worn trunk. “Kreacher be taking out the trash now.”  
Dudley snorted, ‘Ron was trash? How appropriate to describe him as such with his current behaviour.  
  
“Take him to The Burrow.” Sirius ordered.  
  
Kreacher sneered, “Kreacher pleased to be of service.”  
  
Ginny pouted, “What about me? Can I please come?”  
  
“No.” Andromeda snapped.  
  
“Why not? Fred and George can go…” The soon-to-be Fourth Year whinged at them.  
  
“Fred and George are adults, of course they can go.” Sirius snorted.  
  
“What about Harry? It’s too dangerous for him…he should stay.” Ginny looked hopeful and gave Harry a worshipful look.  
  
“I told you before I don’t like whingy little girls.” Harry snarled. “Besides, haven’t you heard? I’m stuffing George…”  
  
“He’s just confusing you.” Ginny said sweetly, “You just need a girl, the right sort of girl.”   
  
“Hogwash and spilt potions, if I was going to be straight for a girl it sure as Merlin wouldn’t be you.” Harry said nastily, “It’d be someone older, prettier and a lot less whingy. What are your marks anyway? I’d sooner go with Hermione and I see her as a surrogate sister so that’s not bloody likely. Why have me when she can have someone like Fred? I can think of lots of girls I’d consider before you.”  
  
“Tell what I need to do? I’ll do anything. Please Harry…” Ginny begged. “I’ll even change my hair…is it being red a problem? Does it remind you of your mum?”  
  
Harry stormed to his feet livid, “My mum? What does Lily have to do with anything? If red hair was an issue do you think I’d be stuffing George? Ha! Who fills your head with this nonsense? Molly? I don’t find you the least bit attractive and I never will. Why? Because you’re a bird as Dudley put it and that just does nothing for me. In fact the reason I refused to sleep in the room Dudley has is because those bikini models make me sick. I think the female body is disgusting and I have no desire to ever see you or any other bird naked. The sooner you get it through that thick skull of yours the better off you’ll be. I don’t know which one of you takes the biscuit for being thick and talking rubbish. Why don’t we get ready? I want to get the hell out and away from useless wankers. Can’t we send this brat back to where she came from too?”  
  
“If she forgets her place. We’ll have to have Gilly baby-sit or something.” Sirius snorted.  
  
Ginny pouted, “I’m not a baby.”  
  
“You are if you refuse to accept that Harry doesn’t like you at all.” Fred scowled at her, “Really sometimes I wonder if you and Ron really are foundlings. Let’s clear out like we’re being chased by Harry’s Horntail.”  
  
Hermione pointed her wand at her boyfriend. His usual Muggle jeans and plain coloured shirt transformed into a black leather vest cut like it was from a Muggle suit, a blue short-sleeve dress shirt, stone-washed jeans that were practically painted on his arse only to pool at his feet. His trainers were transfigured into motorcycle boots. Honestly, he looked like the guy from that American TV show Full House…  
  
Turning to George’s similar original outfit transformed into a cotton and silk suit vest that had black and charcoal grey horizontal strips over a sea foam green shirt, and grey slacks.   
  
Dudley was given Converse but his were the high tops version, he had jeans too but he was now wearing a linen dress shirt open over a black muscle shirt that obscenely clung to his muscles. He whistled at his new look, ‘Damn, Hermione had excellent taste. He definitely wear something like this given a choice…’  
  
Sirius had boots like Fred but his dress shirt was rolled up to above the elbow and it was the colour of a black pearl so it was grey and matched his eyes. He had jeans as well, Tommy’s actually. Dudley could see the ‘brand’ label. Sirius’ shirt was unbuttoned to the third one and he had a white muscle shirt underneath.  
  
Hermione transfigured Andromeda’s high-necked blouse and high waist skirt into one of Princess Diana’s summer fashions that Dudley had seen on the telly. It had a high-neck but it was a black sleeveless turtleneck, unlike Princess Di mother had a black spaghetti strap top underneath. It was paired with a high-waist crimson skirt that cut at the calf.  It was worn with a matching crimson belt that’s clasp was made up of an intricate set of knots. Hermione also gave her a pair of black sandal-like heels and black nylons.   
  
It was a rather daring and dashing ensemble, fifteen years or so too old for Jasmine…  
  
Andromeda glanced down at her outfit, “It is suitable. It isn’t something I would have chosen for myself but I like it.”  
  
“Is this something worn by this Princess person?” Sirius smirked, “I think her style suits Annie.”  
  
Hermione twirled her wand, before pointing it at herself, immediately her outfit changed. She was now wearing a pink floral high-waist peasant skirt, a white spaghetti strap top with a crocheted centre panel and a dusty rose crocheted shrug paired with brown leather wedge heels. It happened to be one of her favourite outfits she bought after returning from Hogwarts in July before coming here.  
  
Dudley coughed, it was more feminine then Jasmine wore but it suited Hermione…  
  
Fred stumbled back, “Sweet Merlin…and I thought you were stunning in jeans and a plain shirt.”  
  
“It seems that Hermione’s been hiding a lot behind her bookish demeanour.” Harry smirked.   
  
Hermione blushed and pointed her wand at Snape and Remus.   
  
Immediately they were clad in black suits paired with silver and grey dress shirts and patterned ties; Remus ‘was red with gold lions and Snape’s was green with silver snakes paired with black Gucci shoes.  
  
“Now…” Hermione mused, “…comes the trouble with Harry. I want him to look like someone who attends some place like Harrow or Eton. The scion of a great House type and someone with money so they’ll instantly flock to serve him… so what do I do with you?”   
  
Dudley watched as Andromeda and Hermione circled him.  
  
“I don’t know much about Muggle fashion but why not a sweater vest paired with a dress shirt like the twins?” Andromeda offered.  
  
“I think that works perfectly. I think he’d suit jeans as well…I can’t think of proper shoes for him. Damn it! He can just have Converse like Dudley.” Hermione pointed her wand at him and fixed his clothes. “As for George, he can have Vans.”   
  
Dudley was rather intrigued as George’s shoes became grey Vans at once.  
  
“I don’t know men’s fragrances…” Hermione frowned.  
  
Andromeda smirked, “I do. Let’s see. While we can’t have colognes we can use oils that suit their personalities. Severus suits oregano and Spanish sage, Remus cedar and allspice, Sirius suits Tobacco and lime, Fred nutmeg and lemon, George would be vanilla and sweet orange, Dudley is a fir and cinnamon, while Harry should be patchouli and black pepper. I prefer Lavender and Cedar myself, while you would be a fine Rose and lavender yourself. I made a study of oils and I own a collection.” She snapped her fingers and Gilly appeared.  
  
“Yes mistress?”  
  
“My oils case.”  
  
“Right away mistress.” Gilly nodded and disappeared with a pop.   
  
“Once we have the scents applied, I’ll go retrieve the money.” Andromeda said stiffly.  
  
Gilly arrived with a large box.   
  
Andromeda opened it and retrieved two vials and a small dish made of ceramic. “Fir and cinnamon.” She poured a drop of each in the dish and used a reed to stir it, then lifted the reed to her nose smirked, “Perfect. Come here Dudley.”  
  
Dudley approached her frowning in thought, ‘he’d never really paid much attention to his clothes. When he was home Petunia always laid them out for him when they were having a dinner part or eating out…  
  
“First lesson in appearance son.” Andromeda narrowed her eyes as she applied the oil, “Scent works best when you apply it to a pulse point; the sides of the neck, the wrists and if you’re planning on romance then above the heart. Your lover will then think of you when they smell the scent that you prefer.”  
  
Dudley flushed, “I’ll remember that…I never really had anything before. Mum didn’t really want me to grow up. I think Jasmine gave me Stetson before but I wasn’t able to retrieve it when I left Number Four.” he sniffed his wrist, “It smelled something like this…wood and spice.”  
  
“I will have to look into it then. It may suit you, if it’s wood and spice.” Andromeda said as she waved him off, using a cleaning spell on the dish, “Sirius…tobacco and lime. Ah there they are…tobacco oil is stronger than lime. So two drops of lime to one tobacco then.” She stirred it with a fresh reed, before sniffing, “That will do. Sirius,”  
  
Sirius stepped towards her and allowed her to dab some to his wrists and neck but backed away before she could do more, “I’m sure that will do Annie thank you.”  
  
She sniffed at him and then turned to prepare another, finally snapping, “Harry.”  
  
From where he was Dudley smelled pepper and something he didn’t recognize when his mother anointed Harry’s neck and wrists.   
  
Then she tended to George, Fred, Hermione, Severus and Remus.  
  
No one really was in the mood to try arguing with her.  
  
“80,000 pounds a piece and there are ten of us so that adds up to 800,000 pounds. That would be 160,000 Galleons and I will be taking it from the Black main vault. Sirius if you would be so good as to write permission to retrieve that I would appreciate it and if someone would be so kind as to create something to carry over three-quarter of a million pounds.”  
  
Hermione summoned two of her purse backpacks, “Lets see, my plaid Burberry or the suede Gucci? I think that the Gucci is more suitable for today.” She winced as she transfigured the Burberry into a copy of her father’s Louis Vuitton briefcase. “That will hold the money. If you need to put an extending charm that’s fine. I’ll want that back later.”   
  
Dudley knew enough that Burberry and Gucci were expensive brands, some of his schoolmates hadn’t the marks or had been thrown out of Harrow and Eton. Not many but he was familiar with their high-class brands that they flouted.  
  
Andromeda nodded, “I appreciate your sacrifice and I will be sure that is returned without damage so you can return it to its previous state.”  
  
Hermione swallowed. “I appreciate it.”  
  
Sirius summoned parchment, a quill and ink to write his request.  
  
Harry pulled on Andromeda’s sleeve, “Can I talk to you?”  
  
Andromeda nodded, leading him aside to speak privately.   
  
Dudley wondered what Harry would complain about, surely not Sirius paying for them…  
  
Sirius called out, “Andromeda!”  
  
Andromeda joined him immediately, “Yes cousin?”  
  
“Here is the letter you requested. Do hurry. We have a lot of shopping to do.” Sirius grumbled  
  
Andromeda nodded, “Understood. Gilly take me to Gringotts.”  
  
The Black Head Elf nodded, “Yes Mistress.”  
  
Then they disappeared with a pop.  
  
“We will be leaving Ginevra here. I am sure that you can ask Crookshanks, Tama and Skylla to keep an eye on her.” Sirius said quietly.  
  
Dudley smirked, “I think Tama would enjoy it. I don’t think he likes her anymore than that rat of a brother.”   
  
Tama had followed him downstairs had had been eating his meal from a silver dish with his name on a green velvet rug-like mat.   
  
Dudley moved toward him to ask Tama if he would keep an eye on the wench.  
  
Tama snorted, ‘If you like Master. What must I watch for?’  
  
‘Tell me anything she does. If she tries to pocket the silver, a book, tries to enter anyone’s room that isn’t hers. If she yells at a house elf, tries to leave the house. I don’t know her but her obsession with Harry is disgraceful.” Dudley told his familiar.  
  
Tama hissed, “I don’t like her. If I watch her and she does something like that, will the lord send her away?”  
  
Dudley shrugged, “I should hope so.”  
  
Behind him Hermione was talking, “Given some of the visitors and inhabitants I can’t blame her. I know sadly, that Crookshanks has never liked Ron. Even more so after he tried to kick him and insisted he killed Scabbers.”  
  
“I think given the trouble Wormtail has caused I almost wish Crookshanks had. Though I’m afraid that cowardly traitor would have given him indigestion.” Sirius scowled.  
  
Andromeda reappeared with a pop.  
  
“That was quick.” Sirius smirked.  
  
Andromeda shrugged, “It helps that the goblins actually like me. They were more than willing to do this to benefit Harry Potter. They have seen to it that James and Lily’s wills were carried out- with the exception of Pettigrew. I had that deposited into the young Longbottom heir’s trust vault. I figured that it would serve him better and since Peter is responsible for at least fifteen deaths at present that he doesn’t need the money. ”  
  
“Shall we go then?” Hermione asked.  
  
“I see no reason why not.” Sirius shrugged.   
  
Hermione summoned a sheet of parchment and tapped it, fixing her chosen destination in her mind. “Portus.” Then she grinned when it glowed properly. “Come on then grab on.”  
  
Once everyone going did so; she tapped it with her wand to activate it.  
  
Dudley felt a hook-in-navel sensation and was hauled along.   
  
They arrived at the empty top level of a Muggle parking garage; to be accurate they were in a place that was labelled Upper Car Park D.  
  
“Come along then. Don’t dawdle.” Hermione chided, “Glamour up Sirius. I’ll take that.” She snatched the Vuitton briefcase from Andromeda. “Bank first then shopping.”  
  
They took the elevator down to the ground floor.  
  
Ahead of them Hermione took firm measured steps as they left the doors of some store called M & S.   
  
Hermione stopped outside a Halifax branch and snapped, “Do keep up. I don’t want to be alone you know.” Gesturing at the briefcase.  
  
Andromeda chuckled.   
  
Dudley saw his own reflection in his companions’ eyes and faces where he found they all looked quite cowed.  
  
They entered the bank as a group.  
  
A man in a suit approached Hermione, “Miss Granger, how might I assist you?”  
  
Hermione smiled, “Alexander, my friends’ parents asked me to take them shopping but they trusted me with the money you see. I was wondering if you could have it deposited? I know it’s more then Daddy gives me, but,”  
  
“Of course. I would be happy to help. You are going shopping today I take it?”  
  
Hermione nodded, “Yes. We’re going back to school next week and well they need the clothes for parties and things they are invited to.”  
  
“I understand completely. How much is there?”  
  
Hermione leaned over, “I was entrusted with 800.”  
  
Alexander gasped, “Thousand? Oh dear.”  
  
Hermione nodded, “That’s why I have two bodyguards.” She gestured at Snape and Remus, “Mr. Black is my friends’ guardian; he wanted to be sure that they were properly attired. You know mum would never let me shop alone and she sent Mrs. Tonks.”  
  
“Yes, of course. I’ll see to it that it is deposited immediately and that the money is available. It is always a pleasure to do business with the Grangers.” Alexander bowed. “I will return with a receipt Ms. Granger.”  
  
“Thank you Alexander, I knew I could count on you.” Hermione smiled.  
  
Once the banker disappeared with the suitcase, Hermione turned smirking to them, “I told you I’d have it handled.”  
  
Andromeda snickered, “Nicely done. You never cease to amaze me.”  
  
Hermione led them to a set of comfortable armchairs and settees where they waited.  
  
It took Alexander fifteen minutes to return with the briefcase and a receipt. “There you are Ms. Granger. The money is available and I assumed you wanted this back.”  
  
Hermione snatched the briefcase clutching into to her chest, “Yes of course.” Accepting the receipt more calmly, “My apologies, you see this is my father’s and well he doesn’t know I borrowed it.”  
  
“Dear me, then do be sure to return it.” Alexander frowned.  
  
Hermione nodded, “Of course. Thank you for your assistance and good day Alexander.”  
  
Once they’d left the bank, Fred snickered, “And you call Malfoy pompous.”  
  
Dudley smirked; the air of authority was well-endowed in Hermione…  
  
Hermione coloured, “Was I really? I didn’t realize…”  
  
Andromeda poked him; “I see nothing wrong with her behaviour.”   
  
Hermione recovered herself and looked from two choices, “Hm…Sirius why don’t you and Remus take Dudley and the twins to Barrett’s and look at the shoes? Harry, Andromeda and I are going to Vision Express.”  
  
“Why?” Sirius frowned.  
  
“Harry’s been wearing the same glasses since I’ve met him. Even I think that’s fishy. Since I don’t know anything about Wizarding optometrists,” Hermione said under her breath, “and there is a normal one right there we’re going to get his eyes checked.”  
  
“I’ve worn these since I was six.” Harry shrugged.  
  
Andromeda paled, grabbing his arm, “That’s it. Come along. You’ll not neglect your health even if it’s your eyes one more minute.”  
  
Hermione grabbed his other arm and dragged him into the optometrist’s.   
  
Sirius, Fred, George and Dudley were only too happy to look at the shoes at Barrett’s.  
  
Dudley sort of herded them over, with Fred assisting. Mostly because neither wanted to have Hermione upset with them shopping was all right but hours of it with a temperamental girl would not be pleasant…  
  
Snape grumbled and Remus tried not to look interested.   
  
While Harry most assuredly needed new glasses letting one former Muggle and three wizards loose in a shoe store might not be Hermione’s brightest ideas.  
  
Especially since neither of them had been in a store like this ever. Sirius never shopped outside Diagon really, Dudley never had to shop in his life and Fred and George never had any money or a chance to shop before.  
  
Dudley could see Snape rolling his eyes as the four of them darted from display to display while Dudley enthusiastically talking about this shoe and that shoe- who at Smelting wore what. What was cool and what was so uncool, what was hot and what was not.   
  
This of course continued until Hermione and Andromeda arrived with a glasses-less Harry.  
  
Hermione of course found Sirius, Dudley and the twins with shoes and proceeded to pay for them, while Harry and Andromeda with Remus looked around.  
  
Mother didn’t appear to find anything to her taste, which given the sort of store Dudley wasn’t at all surprised really.  
  
Harry snorted, “No offence but I’ve had enough ratty trainers to last a lifetime. I don’t care of they are previously used or some fancy brand name.”  
  
Dudley winced, “I guess I can understand why you feel that way. Sorry about that mate.”  
  
Harry shrugged, “You’re redeeming yourself, forget it.”  
  
Dudley winced again, “If only that was so easy cousin.”  
  
They left Barrett’s, turning the corner at Pandora, a jewellery store.   
  
The third shop drew Andromeda’s attention, “We shall have to stop there at some point.”  
  
Hermione glanced up at the sign, “Trust someone who made an investigation into essential oils to want to visit somewhere called: The Fragrance Shop. Perhaps, it can be our last shop on this floor.”  
  
They were nearing the opposite end of the Atrium when Hermione stopped in her tracks in front of the display window at Spitfields All Saints. “Sweet Merlin…I hadn’t even thought to shop there. Cigarette jeans, boots, a white crew shirt and a motorcycle jacket?”  
  
Fred had to stop like he was a Firebolt to avoid crashing into someone. He followed Hermione’s line of sight.  
  
It was a black motorcycle style jacket with a white t-shirt, black jeans and boots.  
  
Hermione started moving again as if to look at the display more carefully, “I don’t like the boots…they wouldn’t work for you. I do want that jacket…”  
  
Fred smirked, “Just think how pissed Mum would be if I wore it to Platform 9 and 3/4s?”  
  
Hermione coughed, “Not one comment about how you would feel in it but how your mother would hate it?” she entered the store and went to find the boots. While searching through the boxes Hermione grabbed a pair of boots and waved over an associate.  
  
“My name is Josh how can I help you?” the man asked.  
  
Hermione shoved the boots at Fred and then pushed her boyfriend forward, “My friend would like the outfit on the display model in his size. However, his mother has done all his shopping. He was raised in genteel poverty despite attending a private school and has come into a substantial inheritance. I think these boots suit him better. You will have to guess at his size I am afraid…”  
  
Josh looked at Fred, “Girlfriend? I think she has excellent taste. You look to be between a medium and large frame.”  
  
Josh dragged Fred away when Sirius spotted a model wearing another leather jacket; this one was paired with a pair of linen trousers, a white dress shirt and a charcoal jumper. “It’s this brilliant! Can you imagine how I’d look riding Iris wearing this?”  
  
Andromeda inspected the outfit, “Lambs wool and angora I believe is what the jumper is made from. The trousers are Italian linen and the shirt is soft cotton.” She regally summoned her own assistant, “My cousin here is much enamoured with this outfit. Unfortunately his tailor has passed on and well he is not used to shopping for commercially made clothes.”  
  
“Really? My name is Sean and I would be delighted to help you. You seem to be appreciating our Griff which is custom made for our company.”  
  
Sirius nodded, “I always made an appointment with my tailor when I was in the mood for more clothes. I never really bothered with shopping.”  
  
“Well let me see you seem to be a medium…we’ll just measure you won’t we?”  
  
Hermione leaned into whisper, “Resizing charms should work well. The pants seem to come in one length.”  
  
Sirius nodded following his assistant.  
  
Dudley nonchalantly looked around when a display caught his eye, immediately he tugged on Andromeda’s sleeve, “Please please can I have that?” he pointed at the jacket on a nearby display dummy.  
  
His mother checked the tag and groaned, “The Griffin? Merlin, a Hufflepuff daughter and a Gryffindor son? The fates hate me…”  
  
“Can I mother?” Dudley pouted at her.  
  
“Heavens shield me. Do not give me such a look. I have no objections. Unlike Mary I see no issue with leather. Properly treated it can be a fine outfit impervious to water and defensible. I believe that would be a great assignment, to learn defence by using the jacket.”  
  
‘How like a mother, or was that a Black trait?’ Dudley wondered, ‘trust her to decide on a defence lesson when her cousin was teaching him…’  
  
“I see you like the Griffin’s design? Oh with those broad shoulders and that jacket? You’ll have the girls at your feet young man. My name is Julie.”  
  
Dudley flushed, “I just recently started working out. I’m a boxer…”  
  
“We’ll just have to see how scrumptious you look in that outfit. You’re probably a large…” Julie beamed.  
  
Dudley winced slightly.  
  
“He has struggled with his weight and is on a diet.” Andromeda said almost kindly.  
  
“Well I still think that the outfit would suit him.” Julie grinned up at him.  
  
Hermione was nervously pacing as she waited for Fred to emerge.  
  
Andromeda let the shop girl escort Dudley to try on the model’s outfit in his size.   
  
The girls at St. Mary’s hadn’t exactly flirted flirted with him, so Dudley was a bit tongue-tied when Julie chattered with him, well at him as she trained her fingers along his shoulders and other places to measure him. She didn’t touch anywhere too awkwardly but it was rather nerve-wracking…  
  
Dudley had some changes physically speaking due to his blood adoption and looked a bit like Sirius only with lighter hair, more of a brown then a black. Apparently, the shop girl thought he was handsome.  
  
Julie stood up, “I think I know your size now.” She winked at him and then returned with the jacket. “There you go. Try it on and see what you think.”  
  
Dudley coughed nervously as he slipped into the jacket; he immediately liked the look of it and the feel. It might become his favourite jacket, if he could learn the right spells it could be cool or warm depending on the weather, rain-resistant and even block certain attack spells. He grinned, “I’ll definitely take it.”  
  
Julie smirked, “Another satisfied customer.”  
  
Then he made his way back to their group arriving almost at the same time as Sirius and Fred.  
  
Just as Hermione was collecting the outfits’ tags and bags for Fred, Sirius and Dudley’s previous clothes Harry spotted a purplely red jacket with a similar design to the other jackets but it had greyish sleeves. He pulled the approximately sized jacket off and thrust it up in George’s face. “Put it on.”  
  
Hermione spun to look at them and gasped, “Please do…it would be quite bold I think…”  
  
The two male assistants Sean and Josh whistled.  
  
Julie gasped, “Why didn’t we consider that before?”  
  
George swallowed, “It’s it a little…well flashy?”  
  
“Put it on.” Harry growled, his eyes flashing.  
  
George groaned, “Fine.”   
  
The jacket instead of overwhelming the outfit or clashing horribly actually accentuated it.  
  
“That is stunning…” Sean swallowed.  
  
“Far more flattering then I would have guessed.” Josh said admiringly.  
  
Hermione held out her card, “Who wants the sale?”  
  
The three looked at one another.  
  
“Sean,” Josh declared, “he’s a little short this week.”  
  
Sean shook his head, “It should be yours…”  
  
“Sean just take it! I don’t want to deal with Josh’s pouting, I prefer his smugness and you can have him make it up to you later. Being best friends and all.” Julie drawled.  
  
Dudley glanced at Josh and Sean; they reminded him a bit of Jackson and Michael’s, he sure they were more than best friends…  
  
“Then Sean can have the credit.” Hermione declared. “So why don’t you take the tags and ring me up. I think we’ll definitely return another time but for now I think we’ll head next door to Diesel…”  
  
Sean took the tags and the card before hurrying to ring up a receipt.  
  
He quickly returned with a pen and Hermione smirked, “Oh and give yourself a 180£ tip. Split it.”  
  
The three shop assistants blinked at her.   
  
Dudley was dumbfounded, ‘180£ tip? That was a lot of money…’  
  
Then they swept out of All Saints Spitfields as quickly as they came in.   
  
Hermione led them to the Diesel store next door.  
  
Hermione threw a few articles of clothing at Remus and Snape, ordering them to go try them in a tone reminiscent of his mother that clearly meant she expected to be obeyed.   
  
Harry spotted a leather jacket with Turtleneck-like collar, buttoned cuffs, one centre zipper, two external pockets, and was lined with black cotton.  
  
Dudley snorted when he saw the design on the jacket in his cousin’s hand, paisley…  
  
Andromeda picked it up off the rack, “It’s called Logo, its apparently made from something called Nubuk. It appears to be lined with 100% black cotton and has one inside pocket in the left panel. A fine design…but I don’t think it will suit you.”  
  
Harry grumbled, “Because I’m short?”  
  
Andromeda sighed, “That too but I was thinking more along the lines that it wasn’t your style.”  
  
“I still want it.” Harry said stubbornly. “I like it.”  
  
Dudley snickered, “Is that because Vernon hates that type of design?”  
  
Harry’s face took on a smug look, “That too, what is it called? Paisley? He used to shout up a storm if Aunt Petunia bought it. He said it seemed like it would jump off the fabric and eat him. I guess it’s reminiscent of snakes?”   
  
The design was sewn onto black with brown stitching…  
  
“If you want it…” Andromeda frowned.  
  
Hermione made Remus and Snape model the clothes much to Snape’s annoyance and Remus’ embarrassment. Hermione pushed them back into the dressing rooms to change into another outfit after circling them and accepting or disregarding it as a purchase…  
  
Snape was muttering under his breath, “I am so going to make her pay for this…”  
  
Hermione laughed at him. “You are more than welcome to do so Professor in September. We’re not in school now and well this is for your own good.”  
  
Once Hermione was apparently satisfied, she paid the bill with her card before she led them into the Armani/Exchange.  
  
Hermione proceeded to make Harry and only Harry try on outfits of her choice. To Dudley’s astonishment she made George of all people pick out Harry’s underwear.   
  
George of course picked just about everything they had and chose one of each colour and style before vanishing…  
  
Hermione called into the cubicle, “Harry? Have you changed yet? I wanted to see what the cords looked like with that cowl Marino jumper…”  
  
“Uh…give me ahh…minute…I’ll be…aahh…out soon.” Harry gasped out.  
  
His voice sounded rather strangled, sort of like a time Petunia wanted to bring in his clean clothes and Dudley had been beating off to one of Vernon’s Playgirl and Hustlers he hid under his dust ruffle.  
  
“Are you alright? Should I send George in to help you?” Hermione frowned.  
  
Harry swallowed, “I’m…fiiiine…give me a few…”  
  
Fred, Sirius and Dudley had a hard time trying not to laugh out loud. They had suspicions about what was going on in there…  
  
‘f it were a girl, well it might be interesting to get oral sex in there…’ Dudley thought smirking.  
  
Harry seemed to be gasping when he emerged from the dressing room, “Uh…what do you think ‘Mione…”  
  
“You look like you just had sex.” Fred drawled.  
  
Sirius and Dudley sniggered, Remus looked displeased and Snape annoyed.  
  
Harry turned red, “That’s kind of impossible isn’t it?” he pointed at the open, very empty dressing room.  
  
“Well the outfit does suit you…” Hermione mused. She shoved the armload of her choices at a clerk, “We’ll take those and that if Harry will change back or at least give you the tags.”  
  
Harry felt a tingle and in his hand were the tags to everything, he coughed, “Um…here…”  
  
Hermione’s eyes narrowed, and then she turned to glare at George. “George…”  
  
George gave her a wounded look; “I was doing exactly what you told me to…picking out Harry’s underwear.”  
  
Hermione groaned, “Merlin…” then she strode off to pay for Harry’s clothes.  
  
After they exited the shop Hermione turned to Andromeda, “If you would cast a finite on my bag…”  
  
Of course when she did so it was when everyone surrounded her.  
  
Hermione nodded, “Now I think if we shrink the bags and or at least cast extending charms on the bags then we’ll be just fine.”  
  
Andromeda waved her hand over the plaid Burberry bag and the suede Gucci bag Hermione was wearing.   
  
Then the two witches proceeded to put the shrunken bags into Hermione’s backpack purses.  
  
The next shop Hermione dragged them into was of course right next-door to the Armani-Exchange: DKNY Jeans.  
  
She smirked when she spotted the reddish purple blazer paired with a lavender dress shirt over jeans. Hermione waved over a clerk and point from the outfit to George, “He wants that in his size.”  
  
Then George was dragged off.  
  
Then Hermione pushed Dudley at a black t-shirt under a herringbone vest paired with jeans, she gestured for another attendant, “Dudley would like that in his size. He knows it.”  
  
Dudley stammered his size at the sales associate nervously, glad it was a lot smaller then it had been last year…  
  
The associate pulled the garments in the ensemble out and he then returned with the outfits in his size to find the others had as well.   
  
Hermione paid and they left, as before Andromeda shrunk the bags behind a glamour and put them in the Burberry.   
  
Since they were heading directly for it and Burberry was of course their next stop.  
  
Hermione glared at all of them, “I trust you’ve learned enough to be trusted to shop on your own?”  
  
The five adults plus Harry and Dudley winced.  
  
“Yes Mione.” They chorused dutifully.  
  
Remus and Severus headed for the black suits of course in the Porsum section.  
  
Dudley paired up with Sirius and Fred heading for The Brit, leaving Harry of course with George who were clearly torn between the Travel Tailoring and Runway Tailoring so they definitely pleased with the London collection.  
  
Hermione headed off with Andromeda for the women’s section  
  
Sirius, Fred and Dudley headed into the Brit collection each picking out a Trench Coat, A Pea Coat and later a blazer.  
  
Fred stuck to blues while Sirius and Dudley were more drawn to Blacks and Greys.  
  
Dudley spotted a shirt that was called a Raspberry Sorbet Cotton Poplin Military shirt for Harry; it was practically the same colour as that silly pink Zippo Harry liked so much.  
  
Once they had chosen at least one jumper and shirt they were rather bored. So they left the clothes at the front with Hermione’s name on it.  
  
Hoping to sneak out to find a place to smoke a pipe, Fred and Dudley looked older then their years dressed the way they were.  
  
To their annoyance Snape and Remus caught the three of them trying to sneak out.  
  
Snape barked, “Where do you think you’re going you mangy mutt?”  
  
Sirius stiffened, “For fresh air? This shopping this isn’t my taste…”  
  
“Sneaking out Sirius? Are you that needy for a smoke?” Andromeda asked sharply when she and Hermione drew close enough to see them halfway out of the store.  
  
“I’ve had enough shopping Annie…” Sirius pouted.  
  
“Petulance is not attractive in a man of your age and station Sirius Orion Black.” Andromeda snapped.  
  
Sirius flinched.   
  
“Now I suggest we see where Harry and George are…” Hermione glared at Fred.  
  
“I think I saw them going into London?” Fred said in a very nervous voice as he pointed to where he last saw his twin and Harry.  
  
By the time Hermione found them: George had six dress shirts, eight jumpers and four coats; while Harry had six shirts, eleven jumpers and three coats.  
  
Hermione gasped, “Merlin what have I done to you?”  
  
Andromeda smirked, “Given them a sense of fashion appropriate to their station in life as heirs. For the sake of your sanity and the card I suggest we don’t leave them unsupervised again.”  
  
“I guess shopping isn’t so horrible.” Harry blushed.  
  
“I do approve of those colours I think they will look lovely.” Hermione spotted a teal pair of skinny jeans, “If you’ll get those teal jeans I think we can save Burberry for another time. I’m sure you’ll want to come back to raid their Spring collection come March.”  
  
George gaped, “You mean they change the selection?”  
  
Hermione chuckled, “I forget that you’ve lived quite the sheltered life.”  
  
“You on the other hand have been holding back my sweet.” Fred teased.  
  
Hermione glared at him, “I haven’t forgotten your attempt to run away. I didn’t think you were the cowardly type.”  
  
Fred winced, “I’m just not keen on shopping. I’m a run in, run out sort.”  
  
Hermione sniffed, and then with the help of the group’s sales associates proceeded to pay for everything.   
  
They were about to leave when George froze, “Am I seeing things or does that look like the Creevey brothers?”  
  
Dudley followed their gaze but he had no idea who the ‘Creevey brothers’ were…  
  
“HARRY!” all but running towards them were the brothers in question.  
  
“Dad! It’s Harry Potter!”  
  
“Colin Arthur you will behave! What did I tell you about manners and proper behaviour?” the man with them snapped.  
  
“Sorry Dad.” ‘Colin’ looked very ashamed of himself.  
  
“Really, and to lead Dennis on like that. We had a long talk after you returned from school did we not?”   
  
“Mr. Creevey I presume?” Snape asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
Andromeda snorted, “He most certainly is not. Glamour or not you know I know exactly who you are.”  
  
The man winced, “Lovely to see you Andromeda. I see that your fall from grace hasn’t changed you one bit.”  
  
Sirius looked from them, the unfamiliar to the familiar, “Should I know them?”  
  
Andromeda snorted, “I doubt it, he was a Ravenclaw after all and older than I. He was considered one of the probable Head Boys but lost in favour of Franciscus Longbottom. I heard you were dead.”  
  
“Reports of my death are clearly exaggerated. With the help of a good friend and my brother I was able to hide in this world. We live in Wales but since I’m not quite ready to be seen publicly we chose to shop here.” Colin’s father replied dryly.  
  
“That is our reasoning as well.” Andromeda ruefully admitted.  
  
“I take it that you are accompanied by Order members because of Mr. Potter?”  
  
“Of course, I am sure that you remember the names Severus, Remus and Sirius from your days among its number?” Andromeda smirked.  
  
Sirius hissed, “Annie!”  
  
“Do be quiet; I think my old prefect rounds partner knows you’re innocent.”  
  
“Innocent of what?” the unfamiliar man asked.  
  
“He was framed probably in a conspiracy for the betrayal of James and Lily as well as joining the Dark Lord.”  
  
Colin’s father snorted, “Sirius? He’s too Black to subject himself to the authority of someone like that. He doesn’t follow orders well, which is probably why he was never a Team Captain or a Prefect. I was surprised he lasted at all in Auror Training. I would have thought he would have been more suited to taking over Alphard’s business.”  
  
“Who are you?” Sirius frowned.  
  
Oddly Remus sniffed and then smirked, “A pleasure to see you again.”  
  
Scent? Was Remus recognizing a man by his scent? Just how adept were werewolf senses? Books were never all that well explanatory…  
  
“Then you know me as well?” the man frowned.  
  
Remus snickered, “Let’s just say you’re hard to forget. A pity the way things turned out. Are you returning because of the news of the Dark Lord’s return?”  
  
“In part, I had already confided in my sons the truth of their origins and I was considering a return to our World. Unfortunately, bad news of a disgraced member of my House came to me and my return was made imperative.” The man gave Fred and George penetrating looks. “Has anyone told you that you look a lot like your uncles?”  
  
Fred and George looked at one another, “Huh? Which uncles?”  
  
“Fabian and Gideon of course.” The man said stiffly, “I knew them Fabian was a good man, he was willing to help me even when he disapproved of what I had done. Despite everything he still stood by me. If anything had been said then perhaps, I might not had left but I think leaving was wise. Though perhaps, raising my sons as a widowed father hoping they wouldn’t end up gifted was a mistake. I believe you remember delivering them…but perhaps, the glamour held then. Do twins seem familiar Andromeda?”  
  
Andromeda glanced from Colin to Dennis, “Merlin whatever did you do?”  
  
Sirius glared, “Would someone tell me who he is?”  
  
“Temperamental as always, he needs a woman to ground him.” Colin’s father snorted. “We still have shopping to do…” he turned to Hermione, “What stores would you recommend for my sons?”  
  
Hermione tilted her head, “I think Diesel or All Saints would suit you sir as well as here. Perhaps, even Dior. As for Colin and Dennis well…probably Boys Base. I believe it has been a leading designer retailer for more than 100 years. I’ve heard it has all the latest collections for youngsters aged 2-16 years from top designer brands such as Armani, Lacoste, Diesel, Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Lauren, Money, Levi’s, Voi Jeans, Calvin Klein and exclusive to Boys Base- UCLA. The store also stocks footwear and accessories from Kickers, Timberland, Converse, Vans and Birkenstock. Its something that they,” gesturing at the Muggles around them, “would call a one-stop shop.”  
  
“Thank you Ms. Granger. Colin has told me that you are quite intelligent, I am pleased that his perceptions have not been found wanting. I apologize for sending him to school the way I did young Master Potter. I am afraid he has been quite the annoying child. My job in this world was the type where I was up early and I often wasn’t awake often when they were home in the mornings. I should have been less careless with their knowledge of that world.” The unfamiliar man bowed slightly, “I hope they will be less exhausting. Colin has been instructed to not chase you with his camera. I have threatened to keep it at home if he can’t behave.”  
  
“It’s nice to meet you sir.” Hermione said curtseying.   
  
“You’ll meet me again, especially if you keep company with those two.” the boys’ father bowed before gesturing at Fred and George before ushering Colin and Dennis off.   
  
“That was strange…” Harry said looking at George.  
  
“You’re telling me. He looked at us quite oddly, don’t you think Gred?”  
  
“You’re right Forge. It was as if he knew us…”  
  
“Oh he does after a fashion…” Andromeda smirked, “If he’s coming back, there will be sparks flying. I will enjoy the show. I do wonder what made him decide to come back? If my suspicions are correct then I believe that Septimus and Cedrella will be both angry and ecstatic. That is once they get over the shock…as for their parentage…that will cause waves. However did he manage such a thing?”  
  
Hermione went off to pay.  
  
“Do we have to shop any more?” Fred whinged when Hermione returned with bags upon bags.  
  
“Alright I suppose you can have a break. Remus upstairs is a store called HMV; I think Sirius, Fred and Dudley might….”  
  
Dudley gasped, “HMV? You’re going to let us go there? But we’re…you know…we might break them…”  
  
“I have CDs myself and a computer Dudley.” Hermione scoffed, “I just need to replace it more often then the average person. I’m sure that they can allow you to play some of the demo games. We’ll come get you when we’re done. Andromeda can always take Sirius shopping another time. I’ll gladly lend her my card…”  
  
Sirius fairly ran as if the idea of shopping with his cousin, Dudley‘s adoptive mother was almost terrifying.  
  
“I suggest you take the escalator!” Hermione called out after them.   
  
They took the escalator to two floors above them and then made their way to HMV  
  
Dudley of course had to show Fred and Sirius how to play the displayed game systems.  
  
Fred leaned over to whisper to Sirius, “How did you get Iris to work the way she does?”  
  
“Charms. Remus helped.”  
  
Remus snorted from his demo game against Dudley, “Helped? Try did it myself.”  
  
Dudley snickered, trying not to beat the shit out of Remus…  
  
“You think we could try an experiment? I know video game systems aren’t on the list like carpets.” Fred grinned, “I mean they’d be for personal use of course it wouldn’t be as if we were going to try to you know sell ‘em.”  
  
“Might be interesting. Charms would be the best choice as subject…maybe a project after Dudley’s exams?”  
  
Dudley blinked he could have a game system again? “Really? I’d love to try it. I mean mine blew up of course but I sort of miss having one.”  
  
Immediately, he led their group off and they found the Gameboys each picking out a different colour.  
  
Then Sirius got a look at a telly and was asking him about it.  
  
Dudley was nervously trying to explain technological advances since the late seventies and early eighties to a seventeen-year-old and two thirty-plus blokes without looking too obvious.  
  
“What’s that playing?” Fred asked excitedly.  
  
Dudley sighed, “A movie. It’s pictures and sounds magnetized onto a thing spool of plastic that plays back. They are rather interesting, best with soda and popcorn of course.”  
  
They were soon bored and made their way back to the door to wait just inside the anti-theft arches  
  
Hermione did not seem pleased to find them together at the door pouting at her.  
  
“What took you so long?” Fred said with his arms crossed.  
  
“Harry kept wanting to shop and George was encouraging him, I think we inadvertently created a monster. Anyway, I thought perhaps some food…” Hermione shrugged.  
  
“We want Gameboys.” Sirius whinged, “Dudley has a plan to make them work on you know what. Sort of like Iris doesn’t run on petrol you know?”  
  
“I want to see a film! Dudley was telling us all about movies.” Fred grinned.  
  
“We’ve been getting odd looks.” Remus scowled.  
  
Sirius was bouncing on his toes, “I haven’t seen a movie since Lily took us! That was decades ago…”  
  
Hermione groaned, “Food first then a movie. There just so happens to be a theatre here.”  
  
To her annoyance six Gameboys in a variety of colours were shoved into her arms with a dozen games that had about three copies of each.  
  
Remus smirked, “Really, you shouldn’t have let Arthur’s children loose in a store like this…they’ll want to find out how things work.”  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes and went to pay for it all.  
  
“What sort of food would a place like this have?” Andromeda sniffed.  
  
“A variety I believe from the smells.” Remus offered.  
  
“So lunch and a movie then?” George frowned.  
  
“Doesn’t quite have the ring of dinner and a movie does it Dud?” Harry asked snarkily.  
  
Dudley chuckled, “True. Unlike you, Remus and Hermione; Andromeda, Sirius and I are on our own…”  
  
“I’m sure once we get to Hogwarts Big D you’ll find the girls fainting at you feet.”  
  
Dudley felt his ears turn red, “You think so?”  
  
Sirius snickered, “You don’t think I’m the only sexy bloke in the family do you? You must get your looks from Annie’s side of the family.”  
  
“Sirius Orion you will desist in provoking my son into exemplifying your irascible habits. I will not have another child who behaves in such an irresponsible manner.” Andromeda snarled.  
  
Sirius stumbled back; his hands held up in surrender, “I’m sorry Annie. I didn’t mean anything bad…”  
  
“Hmph.” The former Queen of Slytherin sniffed.  
  
Hermione returned with a bag of games and handheld game consoles. “Really? I was surprised you didn’t throw in a Playstation or a computer in this pile Dudley.”  
  
Dudley blushed, “Sorry…since mine exploded I wanted to find a way to keep them from doing it…” a Gameboy would be easier to work with then a Playstation anyway and six of them were cheaper then six Playstations. They would have more back ups if one failed really that is if the owner of the colour felt like sharing that is.  
  
“Food.” Harry grumbled.  
  
“Where are we eating?” Fred asked throwing an arm around Hermione’s shoulders.  
  
“The food court,” the brilliant witch smirked, “And because I’m in the mood for spicy I’ve decided to treat you all to Indian food. I’m hankering for Lamb Curry.”  
  
Dudley was salivating, “Curry? Really?”  
  
“No Dudley, I’m joking and I’m taking you to YO! Sushi to eat raw fish.” Hermione deadpanned.  
  
Sirius blinked, “Raw fish?”  
  
“Yes Sirius, it’s a delicacy.” Hermione rolled her eyes as she headed for Indi-Go. “I quite enjoy it, with the exception of salmon sashimi. I do not enjoy that one…squid however is tasty but extremely chewy.”  
  
“Hm…” Andromeda said thoughtfully.  
  
Lunch was an intriguing affair, since Hermione actually managed to get the only private room the restaurant had.   
  
When Hermione actually asked what movie they were going to see it was Dudley replied.  
  
“The Batman one, though I really am not too fond of DC Comics. I’m a Marvel Fan. The movie is supposed to be good but I’m not sure how fond I am of Jim Carey as the Riddler. I’m withholding my opinion until I see it. Its about the only movie I want to see right now.” The newest member of the Ancient House of Black replied.  
  
“Do we have to see a Batman movie?” Hermione grumbled. “Can’t we see something more like The American President or Apollo 13?”  
  
Remus patted her shoulder; “You sound like Lily…with this many boys you’re bound to be overruled. You can always sleep through it or have Gilly take you back after you buy the tickets,”  
  
Hermione snorted, “No way am I leaving them alone in a Muggle Theatre with only Snape, you and Andromeda.”  
  
Dudley pumped his fist excitedly when his choice was accepted.  
  
“What’s comics?” Fred frowned.  
  
Hermione groaned.  
  
“Where’s the nearest bookshop?” Dudley asked. “You and mother or Remus can go check on movie times so you can pre-purchase the tickets while I try to explain comics like kindergarten show-and-tell.”  
  
Harry smirked at the mention of show-and-tell.  
  
Hermione looked annoyed at the idea of Dudley taking them to a bookshop without her.  
  
Dudley sighed, “I’m not planning on actually buying comics though I would like mine if they escaped the carnage.”  
  
“You can ask Gilly to retrieve anything you wish.” Andromeda said politely. “I think that comics would be alright to explain to the boys if you think it prudent before the movie. Think of it as possible practice for presentations for a particular elective.”  
  
Dudley realized quite quickly that she meant Muggle studies, having spent ten years in Muggle education as well as growing up in the Muggle world he did have quite a lot of input to offer. “Indeed mother it would be quite interesting to think of it in that light.”  
  
“If it’s in the context of scholarship I don’t see why it should be troublesome. If you exit the food court in that direction and turn left at the Caffe concerto cart you’ll find Foyle’s at the corner. Andromeda and I can meet you there of course; if Remus and Professor Snape will escort you there I don’t see why it should be a problem. Andromeda and I will just take the escalator to the third floor to see about the tickets.” Hermione said begrudgingly.  
  
Dudley grinned, “Great.”  
  
Then he led them through the food court according to her directions.  
  
Once in the store Dudley led them through the stacks to find the comic book aisle.   
  
He pulled out an Avengers’ comic and pointed out the various members and told about them about their names and abilities. Then he found a League of Justice which he did the same and then X-men of course. That led to a lecture of the superiority of Marvel over D.C.  
  
A few of the other shoppers looked annoyed as well as curious why the members of their group would need to learn this.  
  
Severus Snape merely looked annoyed while the others were curious…  
  
To Dudley’s amusement they picked up various comics for themselves; Sirius and Fred picked up Birds of Prey comics, Harry and Remus picked an X-men comic a piece while George chose Avengers. A bit smug, Dudley chose an Avengers’ that he didn’t have to add to his own collection. He usually picked up comics with Piers but that wasn’t an option anymore, if Sirius really liked comics maybe he could talk him into getting him new issues and taking it out that allowance he’d overheard his adoptive parents and Sirius arguing about.   
  
Dudley was about to decide he was finished when the shelf on the wall caught his attention.  
  
 _Dungeons and Dragons…_  
  
He hadn’t played since school was in session…  
  
Unfortunately, his old roommate had his character sheets but he still had his set of die…  
  
He’d always wanted his own books but he’d never really had a chance to get them…  
  
With sweating hands and a keen desire for possession Dudley stuck his comic under his arm and glanced through the offered titles.  
  
 _The Player’s Handbook, 2nd edition Revised_  
  
 _The Monstrous Manuel_  
  
 _The Monster Manual_  
  
 _The Monstrous Compendium, which was a loose-leaf binder really._  
  
 _Dungeon Master’s Guide_  
  
There was the _Complete Handbook_ and the _Complete Book of_ series, which featured handbooks for almost every race and class; gnomes and halflings shared one handbook. It seemed that only the specialist wizard to receive his own handbook was the necromancer. Several other archetypes, such as the barbarian, and campaign-specific concepts, such as the gladiator of Dark Sun, seemed to also have been given their own handbooks. Dudley had heard that there were handbooks that introduced the concept of "kits", which were essentially specialized versions of character classes. According to his DM many of these, such as the Bladesinger (an Elven fighter/wizard who could fight and cast spells at the same time), his DM had considered it to be grossly unbalanced, both in comparison to other kits and in particular to characters who did not use kits. They only had the three core books so more exotic character classes; races and equipment weren’t an option.  
  
There were several other sourcebooks, such as _the Book of Artefacts_ and _Monstrous Compendium Appendices_ , but Dudley would be satisfied to own _The Players Handbook_ , _The Dungeon Master’s Guide_ and _The Monstrous Manuel_.  
  
“Whatcha looking at Dudley?” Fred asked.   
  
Dudley blushed, “I used to play this game with my dormmates, it’s a game about magic.”  
  
Fred grinned, “Really? I’d be interested to hear about it.”  
  
Snape snorted.  
  
Remus, Sirius, Harry and George were crowded behind Fred looking curious.  
  
Dudley turned around, “It’s a fantasy game about magic and a might-be world you see. You create a character who is a sort of alter-ego you see.” He grabbed a set of dice that was on display, “You play with these, so it’s a game of chance. The Dungeon Master is a sort of storyteller, they dream up a world with your characters and an adventure. Sometimes you’re going after an evil wizard who has done some nasty thing or you’re charged with slaying a monster. You have all sorts of mini adventures on your way to complete the quest. Sometimes at the end you find out that it’s part of a larger story and you have to continue to find out what happens next. I usually play a Minotaur or something big, I prefer a fighter. I told Harry I played before and he thought it was funny considering that Vernon and Petunia would have disapproved.”  
  
Harry chuckled, “They disapprove of anything magical, I don’t remember any Disney movies like Beauty and the Beast or Little Mermaid allowed in the house because they usually had magic as a theme. I don’t think she ever read you a fairytale because it had magic.”  
  
“Petunia wasn’t much of a reader…” Dudley shrugged.  
  
“They sound interesting.” Sirius said thoughtfully. “What books do you need to play?”  
  
Dudley fished out the three core books triumphantly. “These! I have dice so we could you know copy them with a colour changing you-know-what they could be made to change colour according to the possessor’s whim.  
  
“It might be fun Remus,” Sirius winked, “that is if we can talk Hermione into,”  
   
“Talk me into what,” came a sharp voice.  
  
The three adult and four teenage wizards flinched.  
  
“Dudley was telling us all about this game,” Harry smirked, “and he made it sound a little interesting. However it needs books…”  
  
Hermione’s eyes narrowed, “Books? What sort of game?”  
  
“A magical fantasy? It’s an adventure type? You know like King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table sort of quest?” Dudley stammered.  
  
“So much for not wanting any books.” Hermione said dryly counting the six comics and three hardbacks.  
  
“I suspected they would all be wanting comics with the exception of Severus of course. When Ted isn’t gardening in his spare time, he’s always tinkering with his model train collection, he can’t go into a model shop without coming out with something.” Andromeda said sardonically. “Perhaps, it’s something he takes after Ted for…”  
  
Hermione held out her hand, “Books, if you’re getting some then it’s only fair that Andromeda, Snape and I have a chance to pick out something.” She turned to Andromeda, “Have you ever read the works of Jane Austen? I have a feeling that they would suit your sense of humour, for they poke fun at society. My understanding of your rank in society would probably help you understand the politics of the society referenced in the books more then my own.”  
  
Andromeda frowned, “I don’t believe it was included in my Muggle studies class. We were however required to read Shakespeare.”  
  
Hermione chuckled, “Oh? What works?”  
  
“ _Romeo and Juliet_ \- which I must admit I was not much enamoured with, _Much Ado About Nothing_ which I did find amusing and _Midsummer Night’s Dream_ , which wasn’t that terrible. The character of Egeus reminded me of Aunt Walpurga or perhaps Abraxus at the time.” Andromeda shrugged.  
  
“Andromeda and I are going to the fiction section. Professor Snape can scan through the books if he likes. I expect you five,” Hermione gave them a look, “to behave yourselves but if you wish to step out for a smoke, I won’t say a word. However, it would be wise that Harry isn’t seen doing so. While the others look older then their years, he doesn’t quite as much.”   
  
The boys were quite excited to be allowed to step out to smoke.  
  
Remus of course retraced their steps to the car pack that they arrived in earlier.  
  
They all removed their pipes and tobacco from their pockets having slipped them into the pockets of their new jackets; well Sirius, Harry, Dudley, George and Fred had. Remus however did not get a leather jacket to stick his in.  
  
Remus did cast a glamour to make Harry look older so his age wouldn’t be questioned.  
  
Unlike Harry and George, the others hadn’t taken to shopping quite the same way. While Dudley liked the clothes that had been selected for him, spending hours wasn’t really his idea of fun. If he could he’d rather let Hermione and his mother do his shopping…  
  
Though if he ever did need to shop, well Dudley had some idea of what suited him thanks to their efforts…  
  
It was sometime before Snape showed up and they were on their second pipe by then…  
  
The best thing about Wizarding tobacco was that it smoked slower then a Muggle cigarette and didn’t have any weird stuff in it  
  
“Did you pick anything?” Remus asked curiously as Snape lit his own pipe whose bowl resembled a cauldron.  
  
“Granger picked a book by Luanne Rice, probably a romance while Andromeda had the complete works of Jane Austen.” Snape snorted. “When Granger insisted that I have something I told them to get the Encyclopaedia Britannica for me.”   
  
“Didn’t Lily own some books by Austen? I believe her mother gave them to her.” Remus commented dryly.   
  
“Yes she owned _Pride and Prejudice_ , _Sense and Sensibility_ as well as _Emma_. I don’t know if she had any other books by that author.” Snape shrugged.  
  
“Did they mention when we had to go back?” Sirius asked.  
  
“They wanted to check out that perfume place.” Severus sneered. “We’re to meet them on the third floor at two. The movie is at two thirty and they mentioned a line might be possible.”  
  
“We’ll need popcorn and Cokes of course.” Dudley smirked, “A movie isn’t a movie without ‘em.”  
  
Harry scowled, “Wouldn’t know.”  
  
Dudley flinched.  
  
“Well I know they haven’t been to movies in years,” Fred chuckled, “You know we’ve never been. So you’re not alone Harry, don’t worry about it.”  
  
‘Honestly a trip to the zoo when he was eleven and a Knickerbocker Glory didn’t really seem all that much when you thought about it…’ Dudley thought darkly, ‘he never should have treated his cousin so badly even if it were encouraged…’  
  
They finished their pipes before making their way back to into the shopping centre.  
  
They met Andromeda and Hermione upstairs in the Movie theatre.  
  
Hermione kept hold of their tickets, “I suppose you’ll be wanting popcorn and drinks?”  
  
Dudley nodded vigorously, “That is if mother has no objection…”  
  
“I suppose it’s a special occasion but don’t think because I allow you to do this that you’re allowed to eat every candy in sight in Hogsmeade.” Andromeda chided.  
   
Dudley flinched, “Oh no I have no plans for that.”  
  
Hermione dragged Dudley over to order said treats once they had their tickets checked and torn in half.  
   
Dudley thought that despite Andromeda’s detachment she was curious…  
  
Being a pureblood, Dudley was sure she hadn’t seen many films.  
  
Snape and Remus were standing very close not quite touching while Harry and George were trying not to get caught doing that undressing with their eyes.  
  
Fred had his arms around Hermione’s waist and his chin on her shoulder while they made their way into the theatre.  
  
All of the couples made Dudley feel a bit left out really; maybe he’d find a girl at Hogwarts?  
   
He wanted a sort of partnership like his adoptive parents had…  
  
The pre-movie trailers interrupted Dudley’s thoughts…  
   
Well now to see how Jim Carey fared as the Riddler…

  
XoooooX

  
When the movie was over Dudley was forced to decide that while Carey was crazy enough for the Riddler he still was staunchly a Marvel fan.  
   
Of course that was probably because Marvel heroes and villains remained the superior choice.  
  
Avengers and X-men could totally take the League of Justice…  
  
Andromeda checked her timepiece, “It would seem to be dinner. Should we return home or,”  
  
“Eat out!” Fred grinned.  
   
“I don’t see why not.” Sirius grinned, “Do we still have enough?”  
  
Hermione nodded, “What sort of meal would we be interested in?”  
  
“Something decidedly Muggle.” George said hopeful.  
   
“Burgers.” Dudley snickered.  
  
“Pizza.” Harry countered.  
  
“There is a rather esoteric pizza place here that just opened.” Hermione said warily.  
  
 “Oh?” Sirius asked, “Can we get a beer? I haven’t had Muggle beer in ages.”   
  
“I believe that pizza and beer is just as common a choice as a burger and beer.” Hermione snorted.  
  
Harry was beaming at his choice being chosen, Dudley went along gracefully while Snape looked annoyed.  
   
“Most pizza joints have salads and pasta.” Hermione offered.  
  
Andromeda smirked, “Due to his choice of soda and popcorn I do hope you know you will have to eat a salad if you want pizza. If you don’t chose a salad it will be vegetable pizza for you.”   
  
Dudley flinched, “Yes mother.”  
  
Hermione led them from the escalators to the Southern Terrance restaurants.          
   
“We’ve been cooped up inside long enough. I don’t see any ‘no smoking’ signs I suppose eating al fresco would be rather satisfactory.” Hermione said politely, though pizza was far from her favourite meal.   
  
Andromeda nodded, “A slight wind charm would ensure that we don’t bother the other guests.”   
   
They entered the Fire and Stone Pizzeria whose interior was dominated by a large store fireplace.  
  
The hostess at the desk greeted them with a brilliant smile, “Welcome to Fire and Stone. Are you all together?”  
  
Hermione nodded, “We’re nine but with the size of these gentleman, we’ll probably need room for at least ten.”  
  
“Where would you prefer to sit?” the hostess asked. “And could I have your name?”  
   
“On the Terrace if possible.” Andromeda said stiffly. “Black is our surname.”  
  
“If you’ll give me just a few minutes, I’ll check on how long the wait for a table will be.” The Hostess said before slipping off her high stool.  
  
Nervously, Hermione picked up the take-out menu and skimmed it.  
   
The pizzas were just as odd as she’d heard…  
  
‘ Really? Hoi sin sauce on pizza? Chutney? Yoghurt? Who planned these pizzas? Were they drunk?’ Hermione snorted.  
  
Dudley frowned looking over her shoulder, “Weird…I’m usually a cheese or pepperoni guy myself but these are…”  
  
“Eccentric?” Hermione offered.  
  
Dudley nodded speechless.  
  
“Who cares?” Harry grinned, “Never had pizza before anyway.”  
  
Dudley flinched again.  
  
“Don’t worry so much Big D. it’s not your fault.” Harry said playfully slugging him in shoulder.  
  
‘It sure feels like it is…” Dudley thought to himself.  
  
Fred slung an arm around Dudley’s neck whispering, “Hey Dudley, if he doesn’t blame you then forget it. Sometimes he’s too nice a guy, but don’t take it for granted. Whatever you did for him this summer wiped the slate clean between you. Just don’t pull a Ron and kick him in the teeth later. I really don’t what to know what sort of animal he’d turn you into if he were angry.”  
  
Dudley swallowed, “Knowing me? I’d say he’d turn me into something big, ugly and definitely gelded.“  
  
“Why?” Fred frowned.  
  
“Because he turned Ron into a skinny, ugly red weasel that’s why.” Dudley snorted. “When Harry gets mad, things happen.” He shivered, “Not so nice things. If you think what happened with Ron and your mother was bad…”  
  
“What are you talking about?” Fred blinked, “Are you sick?”  
  
“You’ve never seen him really angry have you? what you described meant he was annoyed…he…tried to burn the house down once and blew out the wiring last time.” Dudley mumbled.  
  
“No wonder you want to stay on his good side. Definitely the wiser choice.” Fred smirked.  
  
The hostess was back, “If you’ll follow me, a table just opened up.”  
  
“Good.” Sirius announced, “Because we’re hungry. The ladies had us shopping for hours.”  
  
The hostess blushed, “Oh so you don’t like shopping?”  
  
“Not especially but I’ve not some great outfits thanks to my cousin and my godson’s friend. They decided that they had to go shopping before they returned to their boarding school.” Sirius smirked.  
  
Andromeda raised her eyes to the heaven; Dudley supposed that was her way of rolling her eyes.  
  
“Drinks?”  
  
“Beers for us guys.” Sirius winked at her.  
  
Hermione ordered a rose wine for her and Andromeda, sure it wasn’t their usual but it would be suitable. After all Hermione’s Blackberry merlot wasn’t on the menu and his adopted mother’s Baianchessi wouldn’t be because this was a Muggle place.  
  
Fred leaned into whisper to Hermione, “So uh…what should I get?”  
  
Hermione blinked at him, “I don’t know. I’ve never been here before and I’m not really a pizza person.”  
  
Dudley gaped at her, “But everyone likes pizza???”  
  
“Then why don’t you recommend a pizza then Dudley.” Andromeda said smugly.  
  
Dudley swallowed glancing at the pizzas, “The Casablanca is basically a cheese pizza. That’s what I was going to have…you’d probably like either the one with the prawns or the caviar mother. Sirius seems like he would like spicy food so he’d probably like Acapulco. Remus seems like a beef person so either the Capetown or the Acapulco. Harry’d probably like the Honolulu. As for George I’d say probably one of the chicken pizzas maybe the Canberra or Beijing? Fred’s probably a Sydney and if Hermione wanted pizza I think that she’d well like either the Athena or the San Francisco. Probably the same for Professor Snape but I think he’s more of a pasta man…”  
  
“Very well,” his mother smirked, “You can do the ordering then. Unless anyone has any objections?”  
  
Dudley was not surprised that no one offered suggestions, comments or disagreements.  
  
Then his mother gave him a wicked grin, “Now about that salad?”  
  
Dudley swallowed, “No mother I didn’t forget.”  
  
Just then a server appeared.  
  
“I’m Janie, are you ready to order?”  
  
Dudley gulped, “Yes?” We’d like a Casablanca, an Acapulco, a Capetown, a Honolulu, the Canberra, a Sydney and the Athena. The Professor here would like the prawn herb pasta dish. For starters calamari, zucchini sticks and uh one order of all your salads with extra plates? We’ve near eaten here and mother’s a doctor so she’s very health conscious…”   
  
Their waitress Janie grinned, “Really? A doctor? Where did you go to school?”  
  
“She went to the University of Edinburgh.” Hermione piped up. “She’s a friend of the family. My parents are dentists but when I mentioned wanting to be a doctor she became my mentor. Unfortunately, I’ve decided to study history.”  
  
The group just gaped at her.  
  
“What about the rest of you?” Janie asked.  
  
“George here is a chemist, that’s what the Professor teaches.” Hermione said gesturing at them. “My boyfriend here is an entrepreneur, he wants to open his own store. Orion is a retired detective.”  
  
The waitress beamed at Dudley, “What about you?”  
  
Dudley coughed, “I wanted to go into Video games? Maybe working for Wizards of the Coast? If I can’t do that well I’m really good at robotics so maybe I can program them for Mars or something.”  
  
“Wow you’re all so interested, a Chemistry professor, a doctor, an entrepreneur. What about you, are you going to do anything?” Janie asked Harry.  
  
Harry chuckled, “Me? I’m going to be a herpetologist raise exotic snakes.”  
  
Their group just laughed.  
  
Janie swallowed, “Is he serious?”  
  
Andromeda nodded, “he’s inheriting a large fortune, so he’s allowed to take up a hobby like that. It’s not like he needs to actually work but it helps to like what you do. Anyway, about our Order?”  
  
Their waitress swallowed, “Oh right, I’ll go turn this in to the kitchen then.”  
  
As soon as she left, all of the boys and Andromeda lit up their pipes.  
  
Hermione scowled at them.  
  
“Forgot yours?” Sirius smirked.  
  
“Didn’t think I’d need it…” Hermione mumbled.  
  
“Considering that I smoke, Fred and George smoke and Harry took to smoking like he did to sex,” Dudley chuckled, “We’ll probably keep setting a terrible example.”  
  
Fred took a drag of his pipe and then pulled Hermione into a kiss, Dudley was surprised that he hadn’t exhaled before doing so…  
  
Eventually the salads and the appetizers showed up but thankfully after they finished their pipes.  
  
“What is it with you and unhealthy food?” Andromeda sniffed.  
  
“I’m a boy and I’m eating my salad first.” Dudley said petulantly, “You did say I could order.”  
  
Andromeda sighed, “That may have been a mistake.”  
  
Dudley just pouted as he filled his plate with the buffalo mozzarella and tomato salad.  
  
They all helped themselves to the salad but Hermione, his mother and the professor seemed fond of the salad with the salmon and pawns.  
  
Dudley really wasn’t surprised that his mother or Hermione naturally had expensive taste.  
  
They were more then ready for their main courses when they arrived.  
  
The crusts were evenly crisp, the cheese toasted just right and the sauce was just adequate to its purpose while the other toppings were just what a pizza aficionado would expect and wish for.   
  
Their pizzas were so different; that while the use of silver was uncommon they did cut small pieces- well the teens did and trade samples of the pizza’s back and forth.    
  
The Muggle raised persons like Hermione and Dudley who had eaten pizza before had to show the others how to eat it. Harry had never gotten to eat it prior but obviously he had wanted to because anything Dudley liked had to taste good right? Growing up with very strict pureblood families Andromeda and Sirius were uncomfortable about eating with their hands until Hermione snapped.  
  
“Stop being so stuffy, it’s no differently then sardines on toast or an open faced sandwich. Just relax.”  
  
Sirius chortled with laughter, “You’ve got a good catch there Fred.”  
  
Fred turned as red as his hair, “I think she caught me.”  
  
Then it was Hermione’s turn to flush.   
  
They teased one another as they ate…  
  
When the time came for dessert Hermione ordered them all gelatos…  
  
Gelato was clearly something that ‘Uncle’ Sirius and his mother were familiar with but Dudley had never heard of it…  
  
It was revealed to be a soft ice cream like dessert…  
  
It wasn’t bad but Dudley wasn’t sure if he’d order it for himself…  
  
Once the bill was paid, they slipped back to the top floor of the car park and portkeyed back home to Grimmauld.  
  
  


%MCEPASTEBIN%

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	20. Chapter 19

Chapter 19  
  
  
After the discussion over the realities of the Potter Wills and Harry’s unusual mental shields it really wasn’t any wonder that the day after shopping in Muggle London Andromeda decided to make Harry, Hermione and Dudley brew the Parentus Divinus potion…  
  
Normally it would take an entire month to brew…  
  
Fortunately, Andromeda and Snape were present to use their considerable skills to speed up time within a cauldron.   
  
So it was done in a matter of hours…  
  
Remus had been sent out to buy the specially treated parchment.  
  
“Now I want you to take a ladle of the potion and pour it over the parchment. Then take your knife and slice your palm so you can squeeze the blood over the potion.” Andromeda instructed.  
  
“If either of you use that incantation I will see that you are Fitch’s slave until Winter Holidays.” Snape sneered.  
  
George pouted, “But the spell is so cool!”  
  
“You become a Potions Master, First Class and I won’t have to threaten because you’ll be capable and instructed enough to do so.” Snape tossed back.  
  
Hermione scoffed, “As if I would attempt to use a spell I wasn’t confident in that could backfire so spectacularly. I maybe a decent brewer but Merlin knows that I would never make it a career like you two. I’d sooner go into History of Magic; Merlin knows we need someone to replace that horrid Binns. Professor or not, he’s dreadful. I learn more from my readings then from his lectures. I don’t know what Dumbledore keeps him on…”  
  
“Probably because it’s easy to cast mind magic in the combination of factors that is that professor’s class.” Andromeda sniffed, “We will start with Hermione, after all she is the one we know the least about.”  
  
Hermione had the parchment held to the worktable by sticking charms, a ladle of potion and a squeeze of blood were quite easy to procure for the curious witch.  
  
She had often wondered about her magical ancestry…  
  
Fred captured her hand and healed it with a gentle expression.  
  
“Any Muggle names will be black, Squibs will be blue and magical will be silver.” Andromeda informed her assembled students.  
  
It took about as long for her to impart the information as it did for the potion to begin working.

  
Hermione Fern Granger  
b. 21 Sept 1979  
  
Jean Rose King        Mercutio Granger  
b. 28 Feb 1954          b. 1953  
         V            
Hermione Fern Granger  
b. 21 Sept 1979  
  
Daisy Lea Stevens   Martin King  
b. 1934         V     b. 1934  
d. 1992               d.1986  
  
Jean Rose King   
b. 28 Feb 1954  
  
Marina Moran   Dathan King   
b. 1909          V         b.1889  
d. 1973                      d.1962  
Martin King                  David King   
b. 1934                             b. 1943  
d.1986                                     
  
David King   Malcolm McGonagall  
b. 1943    V         b. 1943             
Ross James Hamish King    Michael Gordon McGonagall Josephine Marina King  
b. 10 Sep 1960        b. 10 Sep 1960                  b.1963  
  
  
Isobel Vesta Ross  Robert McGonagall  
b. 1916             b. 1909  
d. 1985             d. 1981  
V  
Minerva McGonagall  Malcolm McGonagall Robert McGonagall  
b. 4 Oct 1935               b. 1943                           b. 1953  
  
Minerva McGonagall Elphinstone Leandros Urquhart  
b. 4 Oct 1935     V      b. 1891  
                                                 d. 15 Aug 1978  
Aodhan Wulfric Apollo Urquhart  
b. 29 Oct 1978  
  
Robert McGonagall  Destiny Eastchurch  
b. 1953   V   b.1954  
Verity Diana Eastchurch  Felicity Davina Eastchurch Alys Delight Eastchurch  
b. 1975                       b. 1978                                   b.1984  
  
  
Dahlia Helena Brown   Devon Lewis Stevens  
b.1906   V   b.1904  
d. 1966        d.1978  
            Rose Stevens          Daisy Lea Stevens     
 b.1932                   b. 1934           
  d. 1976                  d. 1992  
  
  
Rose Stevens          Hugh Gallant Evans  
 b.1932   V         b. 1934           
d. 1976              d. 1978  
  
Petunia Evans  
b. 11 May 1954  
  
Petunia Evans    Vernon  
b. 11 May 1954

  
By the time the name Vernon was paired with a Petunia they all stood back with a gasp.

  
Petunia Evans    Vernon Dursley  
b. 11 May 1954  V      b. 12 Jul 1945  
Dudley Basil Dursley  
b. 27 Jun 1980

  
  
So Hermione and Dudley were second cousins before his blood adoption? Really? And where was Lily?  
  
They were all surprised to see no sibling name appear beside Petunia…

  
Teresa Verina Burke                    Lancelot Elder Brown  
b.1886      V    b.1886  
d. 1993           d. 1956  
Dahlia Helena Brown            
 b.1906                     
d. 1966              

  
Grace Felicity Goyle                     Hubert Evans  
b.1902             V        b.1899  
d.1976                       d. 1954  
Hugh Gallant Evans  
b. 1934  
d. 1978

  
Hermione was related to the Browns, Burkes, McGonagalls, the Kings, the Urquharts and the Eastchurchs to name a few….  
  
According to Hermione’s ancestral chart Dudley was related to nearly everyone Hermione was related to with the Goyles through his original blood.  
  
Andromeda snorted, “Wouldn’t surprise me if that bloodline curse came from the Goyles. They are not known for their intelligence…”  
  
Hermione gasped, “I’m related to the professor?”  
  
Snape frowned, “I was unaware Minerva had a child…do either of you remember her mentioning a son?”  
  
The two marauders shook their heads.  
  
“I wonder why she hasn’t mentioned it…” Snape’ frown deepened, “Urquhart is a Slytherin prefect. Do you remember him Remus?”  
  
Remus cocked his head, “Urquhart? Exceptional shields and extensive knowledge of Defence…he quite enjoyed quizzing me on my knowledge of Defence in his first class that I taught. He’s quite brilliant but rather anti-social and doesn’t mix with his classmates. He would refuse partners for assigned projects claiming they would slow him down. When I insisted he work with another he glared at me and demanded Miss Goyle.”  
  
“Yes Miss Giselle Goyle is an exceptional student she and her sister Georgette seem exempt from the family’s inherited stupidity. Though since Mr. Goyle has taken to studying with the Squib’s daughter Miss Prewett he seems to have some intelligence.” Snape sneered.  
  
“Miss Prewett? An exceptional witch quite bright, wasn’t she second for marks in her year? Between Lovegood and Creevey?”  
  
That stunned the Hogwarts students.  
  
“Creevey? Is third?” Hermione gaped.  
  
“Yes, no I suggest you close your mouth Miss Granger unless you wish for it to become a doxy trap.” Snape snorted.  
  
“We obviously do not need to test Dudley’s previous blood since Hermione’s was able it fill it in.” Sirius smirked, “Goyles, Burkes, Browns and Kings huh? That was unexpected.”  
  
While no one was watching the King Line continued to trace itself back…  
  
Finally ending on Dathan King’s grandparents…

  
Izar Emma Black   Robert Hitchens  
b. 1851                V               b.1849  
d. 1903                                  d. 1905  
Talitha Elisabeth Hitchens         Caelum Ebert Hitchens  
b. 1869                                   b.1879     
d. 1894                                   d.1950

  
Talitha had married a man named Mathias King while Caelum had bonded to Etruscus Rosier.  
  
Caelum and Etruscus were Andromeda’s great-grandfathers…  
  
Talk about unexpected…  
  
“We’re twins so only one of us needs ta go.” Fred smirked.  
  
“So,” Snape scowled, “Who gets the blade?”  
  
Fred took on a long-suffering expression, “As the eldest it is my duty to shield George, therefore I shall take the pain.”  
  
George groaned, “Prat…”  
  
Fred pored the potion-filled ladle onto the specially treated parchment before slicing open his palm.

  
Arcturus Colan Weasley    Mary Lynette Prewett  
b. 6 Feb 1954      V     30 Oct 1955  
Fridericus Lancelot  
1 Apr 1978

  
William Arcturus     Charles Erec   Percival Isdemus  
b. 29 Nov 1971    b. 12 Dec 1972   b. 22 Aug 1975

  
“Geez, that’s just no fun…” Fred complained, “I hoped Percy was a foundling…arrogant prat.”

  
William Arcturus, Charles Erec, Percival Isdemus, Fridericus Lancelot, Georgius Cabal  
b. 29 Nov 1971, b. 12 Dec 1972, b. 22 Aug 1975,  b.1 Apr 1978, b.1 Apr 1978,

 

What semi-surprised them was that two names were missing: Ron and Ginny…  
  
Also, two names were being adding to their parents…  
  
Mary was being tied to someone named Aberforth Enoch Basil Wulfgang Dumbledore, and it seemed he was Albus’ younger brother by three years…  
  
Sirius groaned, “That’s just sick.”  
  
Andromeda, Sirius, Snape and Remus didn’t appear to be really surprised to see Arthur’s name joined to Gideon Prewett’s…  
  
Out of all of them only Andromeda and Remus weren’t apparently surprised to see two names added as Arthur and Gideon’s children.

  
  
Colin Arthur and Dennis Caradoc ‘Creevey’  
Born 8 Dec 1981

  
George scowled, “So they both cheated? Some example of bonded bliss Mum. Was the wench a Hufflepuff?”  
  
Andromeda snorted, “A Gryffindor Prefect.”  
  
“Were their standards low or something?” Fred snorted.  
  
“Not low enough that they let Bella and Rabastan be prefects, thankfully they gave that to Sancus Malfoy and Aurora Greengrass.” Andromeda scoffed. “Then again they did make Potter Head Boy and that I think was a mistake. I can think of more deserving persons…”  
  
“So we’ve four full blood siblings and four half-siblings…” Fred scowled.  
  
“The Creeveys aren’t so bad.” George sighed, “A little enthusiastic perhaps but very loyal to Harry, Colin never doubted he was innocent during the Chamber attacks.”   
  
“Yeah, they tried to stand up to Ron for abandoning Harry after the Goblet named him Champion…” Fred mused.  
  
“So it was Gideon with those two yesterday?” Snape mused, “Normally, I am not so unobservant.”  
  
“Being mated to a Gryffindor has dulled you.” Andromeda tossed back.  
  
Snape growled, “Never.”  
  
“That git was Gideon? Weird…he’s coming back?” then Sirius gained a wicked expression, “Wonder if he’s come to save ‘Arthur’ from Molly. That would be interesting…especially in light of her infidelity. I suspect that there was a clause in their bonding contract that would allow for a disillusionment. If not then you know Septimus has always had a soft spot for the Prewett twins…”  
  
“Well that’s very interesting but can we get on with this?” Snape snapped. “I would like to see what sort of blood Lily had if she wasn’t a bloody Evans.”  
  
“Hold your pants Snape.” Harry drawled as he squeezed blood onto the ladleful of potion. 

  
Herodotus James Potter  
b. 31 Jul 1980  
  
Lillias Anastasia Snape   James Castor Potter  
b. 9 Jan 1960                V       b. 27 Mar 1960  
d. 31 Oct 1981                         d. 31 Oct 1981  
b. 6 Nov 1981   
Herodotus James Potter  Coraline Selene Potter  
b. 31 Jul 1980    b. 31 Oct 1981

 

Harry snarled, “That’s fucking impossible! She died! How pregnant was my mum?” he hissed at Andromeda.  
  
Andromeda frowned, “Lily was four months…there should be no way that could happen. A four-month-old witch pregnancy can’t survive. Keeping an infant born at six months gestation is difficult enough…your sister was right on par with average development. I don’t understand.”  
  
“I want to know where she is!” Harry hissed, “She’d be a third year right?”  
  
Andromeda nodded, “With that birth date I suspect so. She wasn’t due until around your father’s birthday in March.”   
  
“She’s obliviously born early and lived if that damn thing can be trusted.” Harry spat. “You were there weren’t you?” directing his anger at Sirius.  
  
The Head of the Black family flinched, “All I saw was you…James was dead…Snape had Lily in his arms and you were screaming. What was I supposed to do?”  
  
“Snape?” Harry snarled.  
  
“I saw James dead from Dark Magic, Lily’s body was already cold and you were in your crib. All I was really coherent of was that Lily, my best friend was gone…”

  
Odoratia Rena Black  Charlus Rigel Potter  
b. 2 Feb 1920           V          b. 10 Dec 1919  
d. 30 Dec 1976                     d. 26 Mar 1977            
James Castor Potter  
b. 27 Mar 1960  
d. 31 Oct 1981

  
“Um I’m not sure I should ask this but why does Lily have two birth dates?” Hermione asked.  
  
The adults’ eyes snapped to Lily’s name.

  
Oran Edward Nott     Eileen Marcia Prince   Tobias Hamnon Snape  
b.1925                  V     b.1941                   V          b. 1938               
Lillias Anastasia Snape   Severus Tobias Snape  
b. 9 Jan 1960                      b. 9 Jan 1960  
d. 31 Oct 1981                                            
b. 6 Nov 1981                                          

  
Harry collapsed in George’s arms, which caught him as he sagged, “No way in bloody hell! You’re not my uncle Snape! I won’t believe it!”

  
  
Severus Tobias Snape         Remus Lyall Lupin  
b. 9 Jan 1960           V     b.10 Mar 1960

  
Sarah Hope Howell Marrok Harold Lupin  
b. 1934   V     b.1929  
d.1976            d.1977  
Remus Lyall Lupin  
b.10 Mar 1960

  
George Potter  Lyall Lupin  
b.1883       V   b.1883  
d.1948           d.1917   
Marrok Harold Lupin  
b.1934  
d.1977

  
    Mary Potter       Gerbold Laurel Ollivander  
b.1861    V         b.1860            
d.1929                         d.1920  
Gervaise Philip Ollivander, George Edward, Richard Gerold, Guinevere Jane Potter  
b.1880           b.1883              b. 1883               b.1885         
d.1955           d.1948              d. 1920               d.1972     

  
Faolán Alys Lupin  Julius Altair Flint  
b.1865      V     b.1865  
  d.1943             d.1962     
Marcus Weylyn, Lyall Flavius, Cordelia Faoiltiama, Romulus Lucian, Dacia Lucinia  
    b.1883            b. 1883                  b. 1885               b. 1887                b. 1904  
         d.1946                                            d. 1959               d. 1958                d. 1974     

  
Romulus Lucian Lupin Flavius Geoffery Weasley  
b. 1887        V         b. 1881   
d. 1958                    d. 1942    
Septimus Remus Weasley  
b.1915

  
Cedrella Azaleh Black Septimus Remus Weasley  
b. 1917        V         b.1915  
Arcturus Colan Weasley, Bilius Cygnus Weasley, Cador Ophiuchus Weasley  
b. 6 Feb 1954               b. 1956                                b.1958        
d. 1981            
 

“Now that’s not creepy…” Remus muttered, “Arthur’s my cousin?”  
  
“The damn potion thinks you two are married and you’re freaked out because you’re second cousins to Weasleys?” Harry snapped.  
  
“Do desist in this sort of hysteria Herodotus!” Andromeda sneered. “I think that there is more to be learned then just that Severus is your uncle and his lover is second cousin to the biggest coward to come out of Gryffindor.”

  
Oran Edward Nott     Eileen Marcia Prince Tobias Hamnon Snape  
  b.1925                  V     b.1941                   V     b. 1938                     
d. 15 May 1976                   d. 15 May 1976   
Lillias Anastasia Snape   Severus Tobias Snape  
b. 9 Jan 1960                      b. 9 Jan 1960  
d. 31 Oct 1981             
b. 6 Nov 1981 

  
“How can someone have two birthdays Andromeda?” Hermione asked.  
  
“I don’t know yet Hermione…” Andromeda scowled, “I do not enjoy not knowing. Now what do it mean? That Lily was Old Nott’s kid and that Severus belongs to Snape?”  
  
“Mother why would they have two fathers and be born the same day?” Dudley asked still stunned that he and Harry were never blood cousins…  
  
“I suspect that Severus was blood adopted by his Muggle father, most likely forced.” Andromeda mused. “Which means that Lily was given away, kidnapped or abandoned before she was blood adopted. Hard to know really with his parents obviously gone.”  
  


Evelyn Lucia Prince Oran Edward Nott     Eileen Marcia Prince  
       b.1945                V     b.1925               V      b. 1921                     
   d.1 Nov 1986                                                d.15 May 1976   

 

“Now that’s just sick…” Sirius growled.

  
Evelyn Lucia Prince Oran Edward Nott       
b.1945            V       b.1925               
d.1 Nov 1986                               
Theodoros Augustus         Charis Valeria                
b. 4 Nov 1979                   d. 1 Nov 1986

 

“Who the hell is this Nott? First I have a missing sister and an uncle I can’t stand” Harry seethed, “Now I have a cousin?”  
  
“Who is my half-brother, do not imagine Potter that I am at all pleased with this….” Snape growled.   
  
“Nott’s not so bad,” Hermione started.  
  
Fred burst out laughing.  
  
Hermione glared at him. “He’s very bright, probably the second best at potions after Malfoy. Rumour has it he ties for marks with Dean. He excels at Ancient Runes and thinks Divination is a waste of time…”  
  
“Whoever this sick bastard is,” Harry growled, “does anyone find it weird he has three birds’ names? Eileen Prince, Evelyn and some wench named Adelia Enite Malfoy?”  
  
Andromeda frowned, “Adelia? Wasn’t that Lucius’ aunt? She died in childbirth I think. She perished with her twins who were stillborn. Then there was another child who died before them. Old Nott waited forever to bond again even though he was clearly looking to have an heir. I may have fallen but I remember hearing about how stunned people were when he was bonded to Spinster Evelyn Prince.”  
  
“Evelyn? That was my mother’s sister…the goblins said she held the estate together after her father died and her sister ran away. They admitted she was quite intelligent for a female.” Snape sniffed.  
  
“I can’t believe that I’m related to you.” Harry grumbled…  
  
“Do we really need to do another damn potion?” Snape glared.  
  
“I am surprised how interrelated we all are.” Hermione gasped.  
  
“All purebloods are related. It is very difficult to find one you aren’t related to.” Andromeda shrugged.  
  
“Can I please do it? I’d like to see whom I’m related to now that I’m your son mother. I mean I know about Draco and Uncle Sirius as well as Seph.” Dudley winced.  
  
His sister’s refusal to accept him actually hurt the young wizard.  
  
“I suppose we have no reason not to…” Andromeda sighed.  
  
Dudley then was rather excited as he made his way to replicate Harry, Hermione and Fred’s actions with the blood and potion.

  
Andromeda Penelope Black  Edwin Chaim Tonks  
b. 27 Sep 1954              V   b.15 Dec 1954   
Persephone Edwina Tonks          Dudley Heracles Black-Tonks  
b. 9 Apr 1974                        b. 27 Jun 1980

  
Drusilla Rosier   Cygnus Farrel Black  
b.1931         V                 b.1929  
 d.1976                             d. 1979  
Andromeda Penelope Black  Bellatrix Lachesis Black  Narcissa Lætitia Malfoy  
b. 27 Sep 1954           b. 7 Oct 1957                      b.18 Nov 1959

  
Bellatrix Lachesis Black Rodolphus Marcys Lestrange  
b. 7 Oct 1957     V                     b.1955  
Rastaban Malik Salazar Lestrange         Rasalas Asteria Dacia Lestrange  
b. 1 Nov 1975                        b. 25 Nov 1980

 

  
Andromeda scowled, “I heard Bella had a child but I didn’t want to believe it. I know she had her little army of devoted pureblood henchmen in school but for all her flirtatious behaviour she adored Rodolphus. Not that I understood what she saw in him. I know she was registered with the birthing centre at St. Mungos in late November of 1980. They said that her second pregnancy was hysterical and locked her up in Janus Thickey.”  
  
The former Queen of Slytherin snorted, “It was Ted who released her. She had given birth he’s a mind healer but he could tell. He even snuck me up to check. She’d been truly pregnant at some point. None of her files still existed and when I tried to investigate I was told that my interference with another healer’s case was not to be tolerated and Lady Lestrange was not welcome in our division because she wasted healers time. They told me that she’s been so convincing about her pregnancy that it was infuriating that she delivered nothing and then dared to insist she’d been pregnant. Her bonded and his family were so embarrassed.”  
  
“Bella with kids? Always thought she hated them. She had no use for us…” Sirius sneered.  
  
“Because you had the audacity to be born on her birthday at her party prat!” Andromeda tossed back. “Regulus was a spineless child and Narcissa was a shy thing, pretty but shy. Unlike Bella and myself Cissa hadn’t one wit of skill with Dark Magic. She couldn’t cast an Imperious to save her life and as for the Cruciatus? Hah! The girl couldn’t hate anyone…”  
  
Harry snorted, “Malfoy’s mum is a failure at Dark Magic? How did she end up with a Malfoy then?”  
  
“Lucius is more grey then Dark really. It’s the Veela thing, they can try but they are creatures of Light really. Never understood how he could stomach joining I mean he hated the Death Eaters and he loathed Abraxus. We were what one might consider friends before I eloped and technically jilted him.” Andromeda shrugged.  
  
“Funny considering that he tried to hurt Ginny. I might not like her but she didn’t deserve what he did to her.” Harry snorted.  
  
“Something is off about his magic and it’s not just that he’s Marked.” Andromeda mused. “I will have to look into that…”  
  
“Um so if my Aunt Bellatrix and Rodolphus have kids why don’t you all know about? What she like anyway?” Dudley asked curiously.  
  
“A bit odd, she never had something that Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs would call a conscience. She doesn’t really understand or countenance others’ emotions. I suppose it wouldn’t make it hard to enjoy being the Dark Lord’s enforcer. I heard a rumour that when he was displeased he handed off his followers or prisoners to her. That was where the tales of her worship of him began. Considering that what loyalty she had was to Rodolphus. Though I am surprised that Rabastan’s bonded wasn’t included in The Culling…I suppose his daughter is considered the heir to the Lestrange Estate since clearly you’ve never heard of any Lestranges in school. I can just imagine how they would be treated in light of the Longbottom Affair. As fond as Bella is of the Cruciatus I find it strange that she would go so far…no matter. Sirius first and then perhaps, as the Voice of the Ancient House of Black I can look into my sister’s affairs. It would be a shame if she too was involved in a conspiracy…”  
  
They turned to check the tapestry again.

  
Narcissa Lætitia Black    Lucius Abraxus Malfoy  
b. 18 Nov 1959        V          b. 21 Dec 1954  
   Draconis Lucius Malfoy  
b.5 Jun 1980

  
  
Malcolm Saffron Bulstrode    Rabastan Augustus Lestrange  
b.1956     V        b.1956  
Millicent Reagan Bulstrode  
b. 1 Sep 1979

  
“So…” Dudley began, “I’ve got two cousins with Aunt Bella, one with Aunt Cissa and one with Uncle Rabastan?”  
  
“Seems like it…” Sirius drawled while still looking disturbed that Bella had kids.  
  
“Well this was an informatively lesson.” Snape scowled, waving a hand and the lab was put back to rights.  
  
“SEVERUS! I do not enjoy being done that in my lab!” Andromeda snapped.  
  
“Except for you,” the potions master retorted, “you are not the only person who can use wandless magic while in a potions lab.”  
  
“Get out. I want my lab back. George give Dudley a Herbology lesson. Remus do something about your mate.” Andromeda sniffed, “He obviously needs to get laid. It would do wonders for his temperament. Hermione you should go over Harry’s homework. Don’t do it for him. Offer suggestions for his History of Magic summer homework since he’s about run out of time. Sirius I suggest you go study and review the lessons your parents imparted before you ran off. Fred figure out how you’re going to deal with your sibling situation.”  
  
“What are you going to do Andromeda?” Hermione asked quietly.  
  
“I? I’m going to deal with that Dark Artefact and see if my research has helped any. I’ve let it turn over in my mind. I am curious what happens when the container is destroyed. Two to my knowledge have been…” Andromeda glared, “I said out!”  
  
Dudley was rather frightened of his mother’s temper, she radiated magic frighteningly like his dreams of Harry as a child…  
  
George forcibly dragged him from the lab.  
  
He was keen to get away from her, not that he thought she would hurt him but he didn’t want to be around her if she was in such a mood.  
  
Nor did it seem that anyone else did…

  
XoooooX

  
Dudley sat to the left of Harry opposite George who was on his right during dinner.  
  
He was distracted since the revelations of the Parentus Divinius potion…  
  
“What’s on your mind cuz?” Harry asked between bites.  
  
“The potion. Its so much to take in you know?”  
  
“Don’t I know it. I mean Snape made a wise crack about my shield meaning that I probably had Prince but I thought he was just being arrogant.” Harry snorted.  
  
Snape glared at him and Remus scowled.  
  
Harry of course ignored them both, “Still not happy to find out that Snape’s my uncle.”  
  
“Ought of have suspected it, didn’t anyone pay the slightest attention to the opening of Lily’s will?” Andromeda sniffed. “I Lillian Anastasia Snape? I don’t know why I wasn’t paying as much attention to its allusions.”   
  
“Neither of us seemed to mark it.” Sirius shrugged.  
  
“Believe me Potter, I am none to pleased to learn of the relationship.” Snape grumbled.  
  
“It does explain why Lily wanted you to share custody with me, you are his closest relation and blood does trump all, godson or not I believe that the Ministry would have granted Severus custody. Lily would have known that.” Remus smirked.  
  
“Except that I was mentioned as a Death Eater, I got off solely on Albus’ word.” Snape scowled.  
  
“He didn’t call you a spy did he?” Andromeda’s voice was forbidding.  
  
“It was a sealed trial.” Snape sneered, “He gave evidence, many Slytherins were rounded up mostly due to their being associated with the names of known or accused Death Eaters such as Evan Rosier, Lucius Malfoy and the like. Quite a few were never formerly named or accused such as Crabbe, Goyle, Flint, Warrington, Nott or Bulstrode. I didn’t learn they were all Death Eaters until last summer. It was Lucius’ idea to start the riot by kidnapping and torturing the Roberts Family, as well as destroying the tents of Muggleborns or bloodtraitors anonymously. I was not formerly accused though I heard that Karkaroff named me. I was safely at Hogwarts spying on Dumbledore; I never participated in torture or murder. The closest I got to working with them was when I brewed harder to obtain but not illegal potions. That is if you ignored my reports to the Dark Lord.”  
  
Since he didn’t have an astronomy lesson that night, Dudley swallowed as he turned to his cousin, “Uh Harry can I ask you a favour?”  
  
“Sure Dud, whatcha need?” Harry asked.  
  
“I was sort of wondering if you could help me with Defence? I heard you’re really good, natural talent and all. I know I’m not quite at your level but I’d like to get a feel of where I should be you know?” Dudley asked sheepishly.  
  
“Sure, why not? It might be fun…”  
  
Dudley had the craziest feeling that this practice duel might be similar to a Boss fight on WOW.

  
XoooooX

  
After dinner Dudley was surprised when he followed Harry down to the cellars.  
  
“Why are we going down here?”  
  
“If you want a real duel the best place would be Remus’ full moon room. It’s strongly warded and no spell we cast can damage anything. It’s empty after all.” Harry shrugged.  
  
Dudley couldn’t argue with that assessment and when along with it.  
  
Once they were in the chamber with the door shut, Harry smirked, “What do you know about real duelling?”  
  
“Not much. Uncle Sirius hasn’t gotten into it.”  
  
“Proper etiquette with organised duels requite certain rules of conduct: bowing and measured steps. We both must bow and take fifty paces.” Harry said with a smirk, “I promise to be more fair then Malfoy but not by much.”  
  
Dudley didn’t know who Malfoy was but the comment put him on his guard. The time Harry almost burnt down the house and the way he blew out the wiring made him wonder if this was a huge mistake…  
  
Harry walked to the centre of the room waiting for him.  
  
Dudley nervously walked up to him and bowed.  
  
In sync they turned and took fifty measured paces.  
  
Harry spun around, “Defend yourself!”   
  
Dudley threw up a protego just as a spell he didn’t know crashed into it.  
  
Oh shit!  
  
The spells came almost as quick as quick as Uncle Sirius’, Dudley had to struggle to keep it up and focus as he tried to throw back all the spells he’d learned.  
  
Harry laughed at him, “Come on Dud you’ll have to do better then that!”  
  
Harry had four years of instruction behind him and Dudley was still trying to finish a second year. The gap between their skill was wider then he’d ever imagined…  
  
His concentration faltered and his shield crashed.  
  
Dudley was hit with three spells the Tarantella, the ticking jinx and a spell that made him laugh uncontrollably.  
  
Harry strode over a shield between them, “Do you yield?”  
  
Dudley nodded.  
  
“Finite.” Harry smirked. “Learn anything?”  
  
“That you’re like three levels above me. I’ll have to earn more experience points to catch up. Maybe I should stick to playing fighters and leave the role of party sorcerer to you.” Dudley gasped.  
  
“Always with the Dungeons and Dragons lingo.” Harry teased as he pulled him up.  
  
Dudley swallowed, “You’re damn good, frighteningly so. I’ve got a long way to go still.”  
  
They walked back upstairs together, Dudley to his own room to work on his ‘homework’ and Harry no doubt to end up in bed with George again…

  
XoooooX

  
Dudley was sleeping again…  
  
 _Waking in his sleep, Dudley found he was in his old room at Number Four. The room looked a lot bigger which meant he was smaller._  
  
 _The house was groaning and there was a stale smell in the air._  
  
 _Dudley crept down the hall blindly running his hand over the wallpaper to find the light._  
  
 _To his horror there was dirty grey water like what dripped off the roof in the rain and it was rising._  
  
 _Dudley ran back to his mother’s room, banging on the door, yelling, “Mum! Mum!”_  
  
 _Petunia appeared her robe thrown on her bony shoulders, “What is it Diddy? Did you have a bad dream?”_  
  
 _Then Dudley remembered that his father was away for the week on business._  
  
 _He pulled on his mother’s hand, “Mummy there’s water…”_  
  
 _“Where?” Petunia yawned._  
  
 _“On the carpet…”_  
  
 _“That boy!” Petunia muttered darkly as she let him pull her to the staircase._  
  
 _The light from the hallway shown down on the stairs as Petunia reached for the switch._  
  
 _She gasped in horror at the rising dirty water, it was a hot summer night so the windows were open but the one window they could see didn’t seem to be pouring water. The water was trapped in the house and rising fast._  
  
 _“I wish that boy had never come here! What has he done now?”_  
  
 _The creepy Dumbledore from his earlier nightmare appeared on the bottom of the staircase._  
  
 _“Harry this sort of behaviour needs to stop!” the old man snapped. He was wearing disgustingly worn dotty pyjamas, a velvet dressing gown and a nightcap that looked like it came from A Christmas Carol that he’d heard in St. Gregory's Primary School._  
  
 _There was a crackle of electricity within the cupboard beneath the stairs._  
  
 _“Just go to sleep you insolent child!” Dumbledore snapped as he pointed his wand at the stairs that rose above Harry’s childhood ‘bedroom’._  
  
 _Silence reached them and the water had stopped rising…_  
  
 _A wave of Dumbledore’s wand and the water vanished sight and smell as if it had never been. “Now both of you up to bed, Dudley merely had a nightmare about water. Petunia who showed him that there was no water, now back to bed the both of you and forget I was ever here.”_  
  
Dudley woke with a start.  
  
What the hell?   
  
Oh god, the fire was bad enough but Harry filled the downstairs of Number Four up to the ceiling with dirty water?   
  
He shivered, what was it with Harry and the elements? Fire in the kitchen, water in the downstairs and electricity in his room?  
  
Sometimes his young cousin was just pain scary…  
  
The Dementor incident taught him that muscles weren’t everything…  
  
Harry could kill him easily but Dudley hoped not, he still owed the raven-haired teen a life debt and he didn’t want to know what might happen if he died before repaying it…  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	21. Chapter 20

Chapter 20  
  
  
Remus woke Dudley up early the same as before, only this time there was no Ron to torment by being overly loud.  
  
They flooed to Hogwarts together, arriving through the floo in McGonagall’s office again.  
  
Immediately Dudley was made to take his Transfiguration exam.   
  
He had to transfigure a rat to a goblet and a goblet to a rat, rabbit to slippers, beetle to buttons and finally a badger to a book.  
  
He was of course given high marks for how decorative the slippers were, the buttons were mother-of-pearl, the goblet was a fancy monstrosity that was identical to the one he used for practice at Grimmauld and the stunned badger became a thick book he had used as a reference work while writing some of his Transfiguration essays.  
  
Professor McGonagall held out her hand for the essays, “Without the essays you’re sitting on a Outstanding. If they are less then Exceeds Expectations I will take points from your final marks.”  
  
Dudley winced, “Well for all his prankster nature Fred is a hard taskmaster…”  
  
“While his skills at Transfiguration are above average I would have thought that George would prove the more reliable one.”  
  
Dudley groaned, “George’s lessons revolve around replanting the garden and making sense of the greenhouses, they were left to rot and were not tended by the house elf at Grimmauld. It’s messy exhausting work…”  
  
“Well he was my first choice for Prefect if he would buckle down.” McGonagall grumbled. “That would have made it a family thing: Gideon, Mary, Bill and Percy were prefects prior. George certainly has the marks to be a prefect; it is only his behaviour outside of classes that has kept him from becoming a prefect. Fred has decent marks as well but George is more of a respectable figure and I’ve noticed he tends to watch out for the younger years a bit like Bill used to before he graduated.”  
  
“Where to next?” Dudley asked, he had barely scarfed down toast and an apple before coming.  
  
“Charms.”  
  
“Same classroom as before correct?” Remus asked.  
  
“Yes, same as before only with different tests.” McGonagall sniffed.  
  
“Thank you for giving me a chance to at least test this far.” Dudley said politely.  
  
“I see that Andromeda’s manners have rubbed off some. I do hope that you take after her and are organized.”  
  
Dudley blushed, “I have been trying to learn to stay organized. I was messy at home but we have dormitory inspections at my last school. The only things I think that might cross over would probably be the emphasis on exams, outside readings, lectures and essays.”  
  
“My father sent me to our parish school, as the vicar it was expected that I attend there even thought mother would have preferred I attended Hecate’s. She tended to our magical education since she was a housewife but she had to learn how to clean the Muggle way.” The Deputy Headmistress shrugged.  
  
Remus and Dudley took their leave and headed to Flitwick’s classroom.  
      
“Come in come in. are you feeling confident young man? I do hope you pass. A pity I won’t be your instructor.” Professor Flitwick said in greeting.  
  
Remus frowned, “Why would you not be teaching him?”  
  
“I have two apprentices, a Miss Clearwater who will be teaching my third years and a Miss Ollivander who will be assisting me with the First Years and grading their essays. Miss Clearwater was our former Head Girl two years back, I am sure you remember her Remus. Miss Ollivander was one of the Beauxbatons’ hopefuls who were our guests during the Triwizard Tournament.”  
  
“Beauxbatons? Would she be related to Louis Ollivander?” Remus asked.  
  
“Her grandfather I believe, she grew up learning wandlore but she wanted become a Charms Mistress before she officially apprenticed to her grandfather. She is his expected heir to his Paris shop.” Flitwick grinned, “So do you have more of those marvellous essays? I was not surprised, after all your tutor was one of my best students.”  
  
“What would you like first?”  
  
“Normally I test a student’s skill with Aresto Momentum…but I would like to see how you fair with more spells.”  
  
Dudley grinned, “Bring it!”  
  
Flitwick laughed, throwing a dozen objects in the air and return them to their original size. “Wingardium Leviosa mejora.”   
  
The dozen objects proceeded float around the room.  
  
Dudley took aim at each object, barking, “Aresto Momentum!” until each had frozen in plate.   
  
“Well done! There are a few large objects over there. Why don’t you try levitating them?”  
  
Dudley smirked, “No problem.” Remus made him levitate furniture and conjured objects…  
  
“Excellent! How is your control of the Incendio?”  
  
“Perfect.” Dudley said smugly as he lit a piece of paper on fire but didn’t burn the desk it was lying on.  
  
“I am impressed to have come so far in such a short period of time. I am just dying to read those essays.”  
  
Dudley produced them with flourish, “And I look forward to your comments.”  
  
“Run along then, Aurora is waiting for you in the Great Hall. Had me charm the ceiling again…”  
  
Dudley made his way with Remus at his heels to the Great Hall, at least when he started school he would know where most of the classes were. With the exception of Astronomy but if he made a friend in his dormitory then it would be easier yes?  
  
“Come in Mr. Tonks. I’ll take those essays if you please.”  
  
Dudley handed them over.   
  
“Your exam is set on the Gryffindor table again.” Professor Sinistra said kindly.   
  
Dudley thanked her politely and took out his quill and a pot of black ink.  
  
Correctly identity constellations by season and hemisphere. Bonus points for listing names of familar constellations in various cultures  
  
Dudley smirked, and set out to record them. Starting of course with Heracles and Andromeda…  
  
There were quite a large number of constellations and some have different names in other cultures, he was very intimately familiar with Arabic and Greco-roman constellations and star names because of how many Blacks were named for the constellations and their stars.  
  
It took him forty minutes to list every constellation he knew and the other names for the star formations.   
  
Dudley handed his exam to Professor Sinistra after casting the charms to make his writing legible. “Thank you Professor. I am ever so grateful. I do hope that I haven’t upset your summer too badly.”  
  
“My bonded and I are both professors here, so Septima understands. My daughter Aslesha is studying for her NEWTS and she’s a Ravenclaw like us so she’s been buried in books.” Sinistra laughed.   
  
“I wish her luck then.” Dudley said politely.  
  
“She won’t need it but I will pass it on. I was a few years behind Andromeda; Septima was Head Girl between Andromeda and Demeter Lovegood. I was a Prefect myself but I served with the three of them. Andromeda was a fine witch and a fair prefect for a Slytherin. I am happy she’s done well for herself. If only our healer was as competent as she was…a shame that Gideon passed. He would have been just as adept…” the Astronomy professor shrugged.  
  
“It’s off to Herbology I suppose…” Dudley muttered. He hoped that Professor Sprout wasn’t as hard as George…  
  
The two made their way out of the castle and out to the greenhouses where they were met but Professor Sprout who had the usual amount of earth on her clothes as she had the first time he met her.  
  
“Hello Mr. Tonks are you ready for your exam?”  
  
Dudley grinned, “George is a bit of a slave driver.”  
  
“He had one of the highest OWL scores since I took over for Professor Beery.” Professor Sprout chuckled, “Of course some of the best Herbologists are keen brewers. Some prefer to raise their own ingredients…though that doesn’t seem to be the case with Mr. Longbottom.”   
  
“George taught me a lot but some I only know the theory of. We found Mandrakes in the greenhouses where I’m visiting but they were too old so George told me not to touch them that even with ear protection they would be far too dangerous.” Dudley shrugged as he took his Hebridean Black Dragon Hide gloves out of his back pocket.   
  
“How old are they?”  
  
“The last keen herbologist was mother’s cousin Regulus so George said the greenhouse and herb garden has been untended since before his death probably.”   
  
“They are still alive?” Professor Sprout gasped, hand over her heart  
  
“The raining and sunshine charms were still working but the plants had grown out of control. You should see the charms George cast on some of the more dangerous plants. Overgrown devil’s snare is a fiend I’ll tell you.”  
  
“With your knowledge of repoting mandrakes only theory, are you confident you can do so?” Professor Sprout frowned.  
  
Dudley smirked, “George taught me a nifty hex that temporarily takes away my hearing. He says its more reliable then the ear mufflers. I think he and Andromeda plan to harvest the mandrakes anyway. Something about them having some worth in obscure potions at their maturation...”  
  
“If you think you can repot it safely you are welcome to try. I don’t teach that hex but I know it and when I work with mandrakes solo I tend to use it because it is more reliable then the mufflers.” Sprout acquiesced.  
  
Dudley pointed his wand at his face and muttered the hearing hexing charm before giving the Herbology teacher a thumbs up. Then he checked the pot of fresh soil to be sure that it would do, and then he grabbed the leafy top of the mandrake in his big fist and yanked. The ugly thing wailed soundlessly and Dudley slammed it into the pot but not before casting a strengthening charm to keep from destroying the pot with the force of his plunging the mandrake into it.  
  
Once the plant was safely in the pot, Professor Sprout tapped Dudley on the shoulder.   
  
Dudley immediately removed the hex and returned his hearing, “Yes?”  
  
“I would like you to locate the Abyssinian Shrivelfigs, correctly tend one and harvest one successfully so that it will be suitiable for potions. I believe that Profesor Snape still teachs the Shrinking Solution to his Third Years, so it is entirely possible that the ingredients that you harvest might be used in your Potions class this year.”  
  
Dudley located a pair of clippers and then searched the aisles of the Greenhouse for the shivelfigs. There were shelves of at least forty on the far wall, he took two and carried them to a worktable. He began to prune the withered bits the way that George hammered into his head. Then he snipped some of the good leaves from both shrivelfigs and gently harvested the fruits so that he didn’t bruise them. Once he was satisfied he’d done well he set done the shears, “Professor?”  
  
Sprout was at his side in an instant and congratulated him for doing a superb job and raving about how good of a teacher that George was. “Now lastly, I’d like you to successfully tend and harvest Leaping Toadstools.”   
  
Dudley nodded wand walked through a warded section of the greenhouse that had some of those things. They were all around the greenhouse at Grimmauld; somehow they weren’t vanished when Harry cleared the yard after losing his temper with idiot weasels.  
  
Dudley thank god had fast hands due to his boxing experience so he snatched the toadstools that bounced off the wards and flew through the air. He tossed them into a bucket with the others that had stuck to it and filled it to the brim by throwing them into it. Then he proceeded to spread dragon dung fertilizer over the area and used the water charm to water it. Dudley smirked as he left the warded area with the bucket of toadstools, “Complete.”  
  
“Perfect,” Professor Sprout said clapping her hands.  
  
Dudley grinned handing over his essays, “I’ll be glad to be finished being George’s student…”  
  
“George is quite interested in the care and use of many of my plants. He’s helped out a few times in exchange for some of my spare cuttings.”  
  
“Typical, those two always benefit when they help. I heard that they helped clean the drawing room and received a silver box of something called Wartcap powder. As well as new wardrobes, I’m not interested in blokes but I have to say their appearance has improved…”  
  
“I suspect you’ll all surprise us. Well off to potions with you now Mr. Tonks.”  
  
“Thank you Professor.” Dudley bowed.  
  
Dudley and Remus left the greenhouses to head back up to the castle and down to the dungeons.  
  
Unlike before Remus was whistling.  
  
While Dudley couldn’t understand the attraction, he hoped that Remus and Professor Snape getting back together did wonders for the man’s temper.  
  
“You’re late!” Snape barked.  
  
So much for that…  
  
Dudley bowed, “My apologies professor. Catching leaping toadstools took longer then I expected.” He held out his essays.  
  
Snape snatched them. “I want a Hair-Raising Potion and a Swelling Solution.”  
  
Dudley nodded  
  
“Get to work.”  
  
Remus grinned, “Are we still meeting for dinner?”  
  
“As long as the Dark Lord doesn’t summon me yes.” His professor grumbled.  
  
Dudley started to tune them out as he began to brew. While he wasn’t fond of the subject he was decent at it, but he would most likely not be apprenticing to a Potions master. Nor was he overly fond of Herbology, he would continue it as long as he had to but he planned on dropping it if he could…   
  
Dudley sighed reading the recipe.  
  
The ingredients were one cup of pure spring water, two scoops of dried nettles, three dried puffer-fish eyes and one bat spleen. The nettles were itchy but the last two were disgusting…  
  
Dudley reviewed the directions before beginning.  
  
·    Add two scoops of dried nettles to the mortar   
·    Add three dried puffer-fish eyes to the mortar   
·    Crush into a medium-fine powder   
·    Add two measures of the crushed mix to your cauldron to one cup of pure spring water   
·    Heat on a medium temperature for twenty seconds   
·    Leave to brew and return in 60 minutes   
·    Add one bat spleen to the cauldron   
·    Stir four times, anti-clockwise   
·    Heat to low for thirty seconds  
  
Dudley began by adding the nettles and puffer-fish eyes to his mortar and ground them to the proper consistency using light pressure. Then he added the two proscribed scoops with a steady hand to the cauldron before lighting the fire and checking as the cauldron slowly warmed. He cast temperature charms until it reached medium temperature and then timed it for twenty seconds before turning it down to simmer for an hour.  
  
While he waited for the swelling solution to simmer properly, Dudley cast an alarm charm to remind him in time while he turned to the Hair-Raising Potion.   
  
The timer went off about the time he finished the second potion….  
  
With deft fingers Dudley added the bat spleen and then stirred the potion with a wooden stirring rod the proscribed four times counter-clockwise in a gentle even motion before letting it heat a little for thirty seconds. Then he turned the heat off and bottle both potions before clearing his throat.  
  
Snape snapped, “Finished?”  
  
Dudley nodded.   
  
“Essays on the worktable. Defence and History of Magic next correct?” Snape glared.  
  
Dudley grinned, “Hopefully I do well enough to start the year as a Third Year.”  
  
“We shall see.” Snape said sharply. “Now get off with you both. I have to grade your exam and essays.”  
  
“Thank you Professor Snape. I am sure as a Potions Master you have many demands on your time in the summer. I am most grateful that you’ve taken the time to let me take these exams.” Dudley said with a bow before cleaning his station and leaving.  
  
“Hard to believe that was Petunia’s son.” Snape grumbled.  
  
Remus chuckled, “He’s not anymore…that’s Andromeda’s boy now.”  
  
Dudley felt proud in spite of himself as he made his way up to the classroom Remus would test him in to see if Sirius did a good job…  
  
“Well I’m supposed to test you on the Verdimillious spell against duel targets, Expelliarmus, Tongue-Tying Curse, Tickling Charm and ask for an essay on Fire Crabs. You know where to find them, how to care for them and how to defend yourself from them.” Remus said as they made their way down the corridor to his old classroom.  
  
“Sirius was very good with the spell work but Dark Creatures well I had to learn that from the text.” Dudley shrugged as Remus opened the door.  
  
“What would you like to start with?”  
  
“Expelliarmus!” Dudley said smugly and Remus’ wand flew into his hand.  
  
“Ten points to your future House for that.” Remus said summoning his wand back wandlessly.  
  
Dudley grinned, “Dummies or you for the Tongue-Tying Curse and Tickling Charm?”  
  
“Well obviously, those two wouldn’t affect a conjured dummy.”  
  
“Very well.” Dudley then cast the spells simultaneously on Remus.  
  
Remus was surprised but then again with Sirius as a teacher he shouldn’t be surprised. Sirius liked to attack when his opponent or target was off-guard…  
  
Dudley waited two minutes before casting finite to end the spells.”  
  
“Well then,” Remus conjured to dummies as targets.  
  
Dudley immediately cast the Verdimillious spell on them.   
  
“Smart arse go write that essay and let me have Sirius’ assigned ones.”  
  
Dudley handed them off and went to write the essay on fire crabs. Since he’d reviewed after shopping it wasn’t hard to write it quickly and cast the spells to make it readable and correct his spelling errors.  
  
Remus was a speed-reader and had perused Dudley’s essays already, “Well done. Probably the most through essays I’ve read, they show excellent insight and understanding of topics. Without the Fire crab essay you’re sitting on an Outstanding, you, Ted and Andromeda should be proud.”  
  
Dudley shifted nervously, “Just one exam to go…History of magic. It’s back to Professor McGonagall. I really hope she isn’t my Head of House…I don’t like her much.”  
  
“She’s strict but she’s usually fair…unless you’re a Slytherin which I doubt even if it would please Andromeda. You’re not the sort to end up there and you’re not a Hufflepuff either. Unless you’re the brainy sort you’re probably a Gryffindor...you wouldn’t be the first Black to be Sorted there. Sirius was so you’re in good company; all of the others are Gryffindors so it would be fine. Fred and Hermione will look after you.” Remus chuckled.  
  
Dudley sighed, “I’ll end up where I end up I guess…”  
  
They returned to McGonagall’s office and Dudley was handed his History of Magic essay exam. It was on International Warlock Convention of 1289 and Medieval Assembly of European Wizards. Which Hermione had made sure to cover in her ‘lectures’.   
  
Once Dudley was convinced he’d covered most everything she’d drilled into his head he cast the spelling and handwriting correction charms before handing it in. Politely thanking the Deputy Headmistress for helping him, wishing her a good summer (what was left of it anyway) and that he’d see her at Sorting.  
  
Then Dudley and Remus flooed back to Grimmauld…  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds Expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	22. Chapter 21

Chapter 21  
  
  
Dudley’s exams had taken too long so the match was postponed for the next day.  
  
Every five minutes one of them had been running to the open window of the ladies’ parlour.  
  
The last time one of them asked if Charlie, Bill or Oliver were there they were hit with a jinx.  
  
A nasty one that Sirius had to take off…  
  
Hermione called out the window, “Bill was just in the Dining room. He asked Andromeda to bring Charlie and Oliver through the floo.”  
  
“Yes!” Fred and George gave each other a high five.  
  
Sirius was instructing Dudley the different types of swings against a Bludger and how a back handed one was the most difficult.  
  
In a seemingly planned orchestrated move Fred, George and Harry were in headlocks; Bill had George, Charlie had Fred and Oliver had Harry, which sent Dudley, Sirius and Remus into gales of laughter.  
   
“How have you been?” Bill grinned.  
  
“Well.” George laughed.  
  
“Is that Harry?” Charlie asked, “The fearless Fourth Year who took on our mad Horntail?”  
  
Harry glared, “I’m not a Fourth Year anymore….”  
  
Charlie laughed, “Of course you aren’t. I won’t ask if Dumbledore made you a prefect because Mum wrote me to tell me Ron was. That’s a mistake…  
  
“Who is this strapping young man?” Oliver asked giving Dudley an admiring look, “He looks like your son sir.” Addressing himself to Sirius, “Oliver Wood, Reserve Keeper for Puddlemere United.”  
  
“Sirius Black, the unjustly accused. This is Dudley Black-Tonks, my cousin Andromeda’s son. He’s transferring to Hogwarts.” Sirius said clapping Dudley on the back.  
  
“Please tell me you’re a Beater, with mine graduating this year Gryffindor will need some.”  
  
Fred smirked, “Already on it Ollie. We’re going to make a first-rate Beater out of Big D.”  
  
“If he’s anything close to you then Gryffindor still has a chance of beating Slytherin. Who is captain now?” Bill put in his two Knuts worth.  
  
“Pucey or Montague probably.” George shrugged, “Though with Diggory dead, Head Boy should be either Pucey or Davies. I hope it’s Pucey, Davies is an arrogant cuss. Angelina gets along better with him I think. If Pucey’s Head Boy then Montague might be a prefect in his stead…”  
  
“So we’ve got two Keepers, two Seekers, four Beaters and a chaser?” Fred frowned, “That would make this very uneven…”  
  
“Make that four Chasers young man.”  
  
They turned to find Minerva McGonagall standing there with a broom and three envelopes.  
  
“Professor…” the group turned to stare at her jaw dropped.  
  
“I used to fly as a Chaser when I was in school. My nephews Michael McGonagall and Ross King. You remember them don’t you Remus? Sirius? They were on the team with you.”  
  
Remus and Sirius nodded gobsmacked.  
  
“I came to deliver your letters and Andromeda told me about this. I haven’t played Quidditch in ages. We’re out of practice but my nephews won an award for playing…” Professor McGonagall said.  
  
“What letters would that be?” Bill asked politely.  
   
“An acceptance of a temporary post of Professor of Care of Magical Creatures to one Charlus Weasley, a prefectship to Georgius Weasley and acceptance of attendance as a Third Year to Dudley Tonks.”  
   
“That was quick…” Dudley stammered.  
  
“We the professors were so astounded that we have accepted you after meeting to discuss your marks this morning. We are counting on you to continue to do well.”  The deputy Headmistress said with a shrug.  
  
“I don’t understand. Towler is prefect…he shouldn’t have been considered for Head Boy…” George frowned.  
   
“Towler transferred to Tahquamenon. His family moved there and since he wasn’t in the running for Head Boy he chose to resign.”  
  
“Since when were you the professor type?” Fred glared at Charlie.  
  
“Albus asked me to fill in for Hagrid. I talked things over with Dragomir who is the Head of the Preserve and he agreed to let me go on leave.” Charlie shrugged.  
  
“I wish I hadn’t dropped the class now.” George moaned. “Dropped it to take alchemy…”  
   
“Well why don’t you help me with say the Third Years,” Charlie offered, “then you can study for your NEWT in your spare time.”  
  
“That could be arranged.” McGonagall concurred.  
  
“You’re the best.” George grinned.  
  
Dudley groan, George teaching again?  
  
“We’re only two players short but I think we can make the best of it. We’re got three former captains, we should let Bill and Oliver captain I think.” McGonagall advised.  
  
“Sure.” Bill said smirking, “I’ll take Charlie, the twins, Michael and Ross.”  
  
Oliver shrugged, “I’ll take Black, Tonks, Lupin, Harry and the Professor.”  
  
The captains took their choices aside to brief them.  
   
 “We don’t have a referee.” Charlie frowned once they were ready to play..  
  
“Andromeda forced me to come.” Severus grumbled having appeared out of nowhere.  
   
“Brilliant!” Harry smirked.  
  
Severus groaned, “Mount your brooms.”  
  
The twelve prospective players did so.  
  
Severus blew his whistle, “Begin.” With a wave of his hand all of the balls were released and they all pushed off.  
  
Harry and Charlie took off after the snitch immediately.  
  
Remus beat the other Chasers to the Quaffle and took off.  
  
George whacked a Bludger at his former professor.  
  
Remus dodged it.  
  
Sirius intercepted and sent it at Ross.  
   
Fred did a reckless manoeuvre and whacked it towards Remus again.  
  
This time Dudley got it and sent it at Ross again who was the closest to Remus.  
  
Only to have Ross saved again by Fred.  
  
Remus took aim at one of the hoops and hurled it.  
  
Oliver caught it and threw it to Ross. “Better luck next time Professor.”  
  
Dudley set the Bludger at Ross again who yelped and dropped it.  
  
His Aunt snatched it up and tore up the sky on a single-minded quest to score.  
  
Fred and George scrambled for Bludgers.  
  
Bill did his best to block but McGonagall scored.  
   
Oliver’s team: Sirius, Remus and Dudley cheered.  
  
Of course that just put Bill’s more on their mettle.  
  
The Seekers were absorbed in their own match and didn’t really pay attention.  
  
Once Bill’s team had taken Oliver’s measure they played harder.  
  
Being all Gryffindors cheating wasn’t really in their nature with the exceptions of their Beaters’ aiming- three had no qualms about aiming for your head.  
  
Scoring went back and forth really but each point was hard to gain and they relished it all the more.  
  
Harry’s shout of ‘I’ve got it! I beat Charlie to the Snitch!’ brought them all to a stop.  
  
Severus squinted; sure enough the intrepid Gryffindor was waving a clenched fist.  
  
“Two hundred to fifty then. Oliver’s team wins.”  
  
The match had lasted two hours.  
  
On the ground was the Black Head Elf Gilly.  
  
“Mistress asked Gilly to tell family and guests that luncheon be on the table.”  
  
The tired Quidditch players and referee cast refresher charms on themselves gratefully making their way to the house.  
  
Dudley turned to the Deputy Headmistress as they headed inside, “I’d like to be added to be enrolled in Muggle Studies and Care of Magical Creatures.”  
  
“Why would you want Muggle Studies?” the Scottish witch frowned.  
  
“I’d like to see what wizards think of them. Maybe put in my two-penny’s worth. I did spend four years at a Muggle boarding school for students the same age as your students. I think I’d be an interesting addition.” Dudley shrugged.  
  
“Very well I will inform Professor Burbage and you can tell Charlie to add you to his list of students.” The Deputy Headmistress nodded sharply as she handed him his acceptance letter.  
  
Dudley was looking forward to going Hogwarts. It felt like he’d been waiting his whole life to the letter she handed him.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds Expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	23. Chapter 22

Chapter 22  
  
  
The train left at eleven.  
  
So at a twenty-five till they all assembled.  
  
Andromeda handed Hermione a shrunken picnic basket to place in her backpack purse.  
  
They all had their trunks shrunken.  
  
Hermione’s was in her purse.  
  
Dudley, Harry, George and Fred had theirs in their pocket; they had chosen to wear their leather jackets with cooling charms. Even though Harry was told his didn’t quite suit him, he stubbornly insisted on wearing it anyway.  
  
Thankfully Ginny had returned to The Burrow last night.  
  
All but Sirius were portkeying to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.  
  
Sirius gave Harry a hug and shook the other boys’ hands while he gave Hermione a brotherly, or was it an uncley kiss on the cheek, “Take care of yourselves. Summon one of the elves if you need to get a message to me. Hedwig is too distinctive and I’m not that far away if you need me. Remus will visit often so he can sneak letters or messages.”  
  
Harry nodded, “Understood. Hedwig already left for Hogwarts. It’s just Skylla and I.” his rainbow serpent wrapped around his neck like a scarf.  
  
“Off with you now.” Sirius said turning to head back to his study.  
  
“You heard Sirius.” Andromeda said sharply. “Grab on. Making a dramatic entrance is one thing but missing the train is not acceptable.”  
  
They were all subjected the hook in naval sensation of a portkey. With Harry sagging against George once they arrived.  
  
Ted hugged Dudley and Harry, kissed Hermione’s hand and shook hands with the twins. “Be good, study hard and make us all proud.”  
  
“Being a prefect is a great honour and a responsibility,” Andromeda gave George and Hermione a look that meant ‘don’t embarrass us.’ “Study hard, I expect you to do well. Blacks always have a core of steel in them and I expect you to as well.”  
  
“Yes mother.” Dudley said spontaneously stepping forward to kiss her cheek and then he turned pink.  
  
Andromeda’s eyes glistened. “I’ll be proud of you no matter what House you’re in but please don’t be a Hufflepuff.”  
  
Dudley frowned, “I don’t want to be anything like Seph.”  
  
As the five made their way to the train there were whispers and remarks.  
  
 _Where had they gotten clothes like that? No one had seen the like before…_  
  
 _Since when did Harry Potter look that good? Were those new glasses?_  
  
 _Who was that beauty holding hands with…was that Fred or George? That couldn’t be Hermione…_  
  
 _Wait, didn’t she look amazing at the Yule Ball last December?_  
  
As they passed Ginny, Ron, Arthur and Molly, the twin’s mother turned back to her normal colouring.  
  
“Molly?” a slightly older version of the twins stepped up to her.  
  
Arthur paled, “Gideon?”  
  
“Yes. I’ll talk to you later. Molly you and I are going to have a nice chat. I’ve see the tapestries, I know what you did.”  
  
The witch stiffened, “What would that be?”  
  
“You broke your contract with the House of Weasley. It has been suspended.”  
  
“You can’t do that…”  
  
“I can and I have with Septimus’ consent.”  
  
The group left Arthur to his astonishment, Molly to her embarrassment, Ron to his mortification and Ginny the mouse to her bewilderment.  
  
They entered the train and at the fourth compartment Skylla moved her head from Harry’s neck and hissed, “Snake master.”  
  
Harry paused, “What’s?”  
  
“Snake and a speaker.” Skylla replied in Parseltongue. “Let me speak to him. I’ve wished for snake company. He’s male and virile…”  
  
Harry sighed, “Alright.” He turned to his friends, “Skylla wants to speak to the snake in this compartment.”  
  
He heard hissing from inside the compartment.  
  
 _“Aodhan! Please? Let me speak to her. I haven’t spoken to another snake in years. Not since you took me from that horrible place.”_  
  
Harry opened the compartment and saw a tall dark haired boy dressed all in black.  
  
“Harry Potter?”  
  
“I have the misfortune to bear that name.” Harry sighed.  
  
“Aodhan Urquhart. I’m the Sixth Year Slytherin prefect.” The boy said in thick Scottish accent.  
  
“This is Skylla.” Harry said in Parseltongue.  
  
“This is Abaddon.” Aodhan replied likewise.  
  
Harry whistled, replying in English for his friends, “Sweet Merlin that’s the biggest snake I’ve seen aside from Salazar’s basilisk.”  
  
“Of course that was what was in the fabled Chamber of Secrets. You killed it didn’t you to rescue the Weasley mouse.” Aodhan sighed, moving out of the way. “I think our snakes want to get acquainted. I’m not very social but come in.”  
  
“All of us?” Hermione asked from behind Harry.  
  
“I guess we’ll have to make room.” Aodhan took out his wand and cast a bunch of spells non-verbally to enlarge the space.  
  
Skylla slithered down Harry and went to curl up beside the giant snake.  
  
“What is that? A baby basilisk?” Fred gasped.  
  
Aodhan snorted, “No, Abaddon is an albino Burmese Python. Biggest on record if I had him examined. He’s larger then most females, he’s spoilt and perhaps a bit overfed. A great sight better then that lousy toad my godfather gave me. He must have had a senile moment. I told him I wanted a snake or an owl but not a cat.”  
  
Dudley’s cat hissed at him from his place on Dudley’s shoulder.  
  
Crookshanks was happy to stay in his basket seemingly because he wasn’t hissing to get out.  
  
“You’re the Weasley twins.” Aodhan said gruffly. “You must be Granger but you don’t look like her really.” He glanced at Dudley, “You’re not the Weasel that Malfoy is always complaining over.”  
  
Dudley grinned, “Dudley Black-Tonks. I’m Harry’s distant but newly adopted cousin. My education was sporadic at best and I only qualified to start as a Third Year but I hope next summer I can catch up and join my cousin in sixth year courses next year.”  
  
“Which Weasley twin are you?” Aodhan gestured at George.  
  
“George.” George grinned.  
  
“How’d you get to be prefect? What happened to Towler?”  
  
“Transferred to Salem.” George shrugged.  
  
“He was a bore. Glad to see that he’s gone. Not surprised Granger was the new girls’ prefect; do you know who your partner is?” Urquhart sniggered.  
  
The five newcomers looked at one another and collectively groaned, “Ron?”  
  
“I see, senile moment again.” Aodhan spat, “I really, really dislike him. He’s trying to talk me into joining his precious Order when I turn seventeen in October and I told him to go look for his brain. That Giant Squid must had eaten it because I wouldn’t join that useless group if he paid me.”  
  
“Your godfather is Albus Dumbledore?” Harry asked dumbfound.  
  
“To my horror and eternal dismay, I don’t know what my mother was thinking.”  
  
“Who is your mother?” Hermione asked.  
  
“A woman who doesn’t know I exist thank you very much. I spent eleven years thinking I was an orphan. I’ve met her, I dislike her and she doesn’t seem to notice me. We’ll no doubt continue to avoid one another. Only two more years of that place and I can turn my back on it, you should have seen Snape’s face when I told him my career plan. He thought I was joking at first and then he turned green.” Aodhan chortled.  
  
“What do you want to do?”  
  
“Breed snakes. I want to find a healthy Burmese and breed her to Abaddon.”  
  
Harry grinned, “I want to do that to. I bet that McGonagall will react the same way…”  
  
“I’ve never spoken with another speaker.” Aodhan said wistfully. “My dormmates ignore me. I don’t think they’ve forgiven me for showing up with a snake that kept growing. They were glad to see the back of me last year when I became prefect. I told Uncle Albus that I didn’t want it and to give it to someone else. He insisted. I do the bare minimum and try to get out of work. The Heads just assigned me to library duty and I did my homework. I annoyed them; I saw Johnson and Pucey with badges. Johnson’s still wearing her Quidditch Captain badge but I saw Montague with a Prefect and Captain Badge, he must have replaced Pucey and Flint. “  
  
“Anyone’s better then Flint.” George snickered.  
  
“Isn’t Montague the bloke who grabbed Katie’s head and said he thought it was a Quaffle?” Fred frowned.  
  
“Quidditch move. Flint’s idea. Montague yelled at him that it was stupid and just because he was big didn’t mean he was unintelligent unlike some people.” Aodhan shrugged.  
  
“So you’re the lazy prefect…I hope we get put on rounds together. I don’t really want to work with Montague.” George muttered. “I hate Davies.”  
  
“I don’t think anyone outside his own house likes him. I know his cousin Tracey doesn’t think much of him.” Aodhan said reaching down to touch Abaddon’s scales.  
  
The large snake turned to him and rubbed his head against Aodhan’s hand before returning to his conversation with Skylla who seemed to glow more vibrantly in his presence.  
  
The twins and Dudley’s stomachs growled.  
  
Hermione took out the lunch basket from her purse and tapped it with her new wand. It returned to it original size. She conjured plates, napkins and silver and divided the food between the six of them.   
  
Harry snapped his fingers and a Black House elf arrived with Skylla, Crookshanks and Tama’s dishes filled with food.  
  
Aodhan copied him and a glaring elf arrived with a dish for Abaddon.  
  
“Simi no need Master Aodhan to call her like a crup. Simi say that snake no need to eat when young Master does.”  
  
Harry blinked. “House elves can tell their masters off? I didn’t know that.”  
  
“Simi Head Elf. Master Aodhan is still a boy. Simi no need pay him any mind unless Simi want to. Simi going now. Master be good!”  
  
Aodhan glared at the spot she had been in, “Stupid elf.”  
  
“Why don’t you free her?” Hermione frowned, “If she displeases you then shouldn’t you let her go?”  
  
Aodhan gaped at her, “WHAT? Why would I do that? She’s my only link to my father, she was his elf. Besides, who would I banter with? She practically raised me…I don’t know what we’d do without her. I don’t like her but she keeps the estate running for me. She keeps Uncle Albus from poking his crooked nose where it doesn’t belong.”  
  
“Oh.” Hermione said softly.   
  
The subject ended and they all settled back to eat quietly.  
  
After all Dudley’s companions weren’t always good at conversing while eating.

  
XoooooX

  
Dudley hadn’t woken before the Prefect Meeting; he didn’t wake at all until Tama scratched him.  
  
“Come on, we’ve got to put on our robes but I’m leaving mine open.” Fred smirked summoning his from his pocket.  
  
The other six put their robes on but neither of them closed them.   
  
Tama and Crookshanks took off like a dog was chasing them.  
  
Skylla slithered back up Harry to entwine around his neck like a scarf.  
  
Aodhan whistled, “Been a long time since Abaddon could do that…”  
  
They waited until the train was mostly empty before leaving and climbed into one of the last carriages.  
  
Hermione sat sedately on Fred’s lap and a glowering Harry sat on George’s.  
  
Dudley and Aodhan shared a seat and Abaddon took the floor.  
  
They regally entered the castle and the masses parted at the strange group.  
  
Harry had George’s arm around his shoulder, while Fred had an arm around Hermione’s waist. Dudley walked a step behind Harry, staying in his shadow until he knew where he was to go. He wasn’t fond of the idea of standing with First Years…  
  
Aodhan seemed like he wasn’t used to the sort of attention he was getting but didn’t shy from it; Abaddon left them probably to make his way to Urquhart’s room in the Dungeons. He held out his hand to Harry, “It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”  
  
“Likewise.” Harry said shaking it.  
  
Aodhan smugly made his way to the Slytherin table ignoring the familiar glare of disapproval he felt from his godfather.  
  
Harry was almost at Gryffindor table when something unusual happened.  
  
A four-fold voice came from the Sorting Hat.  
  
 ** _"We are Hogwarts. We will speak.”_**  
  
The entire Great Hall fell silent.  
  
 _“ **We have watched. We have hoped. We will right wrongs. Will Herodotus Potter, Hermione Granger, Dudley Black-Tonks, Georgius Weasley, Fridericus Weasley, Dean Dearborn known as Thomas, Susan Bones, Colin Prewett known as Creevey, Leslie Moody, Grieg Ollivander, Ronald and Ginerva Dumbledore known as Weasley come.”**_  
  
The very confused group left their respective tables.  
  
 ** _“Herodotus Potter you were asked before if you would reconsider this hat’s decision. We ask you if you would have the same answer.”_**  
  
Harry smirked, “I do not.”  
  
Harry’s robe patch changed from red and gold to silver and green.  
  
 ** _“Hermione Granger, you were a hat stall. This hat was forced to make you a Gryffindor but your true place is in Ravenclaw. Do you want to remain where you are or take your place among the daughters of Rowena?_**  
  
Hermione swallowed, “If I change houses will I no longer be a prefect?”  
  
 ** _“Padma of Ravenclaw do you wish to remain a prefect?”_**  
  
A pretty Asian-looking teenage girl presumably their age stammered, “No?”  
  
Hermione’s robe patch became the bronze eagle over blue but she retained her prefect status.  
  
 ** _“Georgius Weasley you also are not of Gryffindor. We offer you the choice of Ravenclaw or Slytherin.”_ **  
  
George chewed on his lip, “I guess I choose Slytherin…”  
  
“We already have a Seventh Year Prefect.” An older boy at Slytherin who appeared George’s age called out.  
  
“Thank you Adrian but I resign in favour of George Weasley.” A deep voice boomed over him. “I will remain Quidditch captain and be satisfied.”  
  
“Wait! I didn’t want to be a prefect to begin with.” George protested.  
  
 ** _“The Slytherin Prefect has resigned. We have decided. Georgius will be Slytherin’s Prefect. Based on marks Salem Transfer Student Blake Hawthorn will serve for Gryffindor. Fridericus Weasley, you were destined for Slytherin but took a detour do you wish to remain misSorted or join your twin and Herodotus in Slytherin?”_**  
  
“We’ve never really been separated…” Fred frowned.  
  
 ** _“Slytherin then.”_** Hogwarts decided.  
  
Immediately, Fred and George’s robes took on Slytherin’s colours.  
  
 ** _“Dudley Black-Tonks you are late. We suspect meddling on someone’s part. We have taken your measure. You are a true Gryffindor, not of his blood but you are the truest Gryffindor to walk these halls in a generation.”_**  
  
Dudley winced, “Are you sure? Can’t I be Sorted like everyone else?”  
  
 ** _“You may put the hat on but We know as the Founders did who belongs in our House. Their blood and magic flows in us.”_**  
  
Dudley shuffled forward and put the ratty hat on his head.  
  
 ** _‘No driving ambition or knife sharp intelligence but you do possess a certain disregard for rules and conventions. You are loyal yet the kindness of a Hufflepuff isn’t in you. You don’t have a strict regard for rules or a strong intellect so Ravenclaw is not the place for you. You are brave and reckless but your loyalty is of the Black variety it must be earned not granted recklessly.’_**  
  
Dudley groaned, “I accept.”  
  
 ** _“Gryffindor then.”_** Hogwarts announced.   
  
Dudley’s robes acquired the Gryffindor patch.  
  
 _ **“Dean Dearborn.”**_  
  
The dark-skinned boy, presumably of African descent nervously stepped forward, “Yes…Hogwarts?”  
  
 ** _“You too were erroneously sent to Gryffindor. You belong in Ravenclaw. Do you wish to remain as you are or join Miss Granger in your true House?”_**  
  
Dean glanced back at two persons at Gryffindor, “I’ll stay…I have people I don’t wish to leave behind…”  
  
 _ **“Susan Bones, heiress of the House of Bones you belong in Gryffindor. Do you wish to go there and take up the open position of Prefect?”**_  
  
“I wanted to be there…” the strawberry blonde girl in Hufflepuff robes began thoughtfully, “but Aunt Emelia was a Hufflepuff.”  
  
 ** _“Emelia Bones would be proud of you for taking your rightful place. Your brother was sorted into Ravenclaw was he not?”_**  
  
Susan nodded, “I accept.”  
  
Her patch changed from a black badger on a butter yellow shield to a gold lion on a red one.  
  
Hermione grinned, “I’m sure you’ll be an excellent lioness.”  
  
Susan blushed. “Thank you Miss Granger.”  
  
“Hermione.” The not-so bushy-haired witch replied.  
  
“Susan.” The strawberry-blond witch smiled.  
  
 ** _“Susan Bones is now prefect of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff needs a prefect. Hannah of the House of Abbott will you undertake?”_**  
  
The blonde witch gasped, “Of course.” A prefect badge appeared on her robes.  
  
  ** _“Colin Prewett. You should have been placed in Ravenclaw like your bearer. Will you go?”_**  
  
The elder looking boy they’d met at Burberry, Colin glanced towards the Ravenclaw table and then at his brother. “What should I do?”  
  
Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes, “You should go.”  
  
Colin swallowed, “I’ll be an Eagle then…”  
  
At once his robes changed.  
  
 _ **“Leslie Moody.”**_  
  
A shy bookish girl with mousy brown hair in Hufflepuff robes stepped forward, “Yes?”  
  
 _ **“Unluckily you were raised by Alastor Moody. Cowed into Hufflepuff because he’s insane. Would you like to spread your wings and take your place in Ravenclaw young lady?”**_  
  
Hermione smiled at her, “I’m sure we’d be glad to have you…”  
  
The shy girl blushed, “Okay.”  
  
Meanwhile Albus Dumbledore was fuming and a toadish woman in pink was smiling but it was a malicious one.  
  
 ** _“Grieg Ollivander.”_**  
  
McGonagall stiffened.  
  
The tall boy inclined his head, “Hogwarts.”  
  
 _ **“You ought to have been Sorted to Slytherin, will you accept our declaration?”**_  
  
The boy was thoughtful…and then said stiffly. “I believe that my aims would be best suited in Slytherin.”  
  
“Yes!” Aodhan smirked, “Then I’m resign,”  
  
 _ **“Unacceptable.”**_ Hogwarts via the Sorting Hat snapped. _**“A son of Slytherin’s blood, an heir, a King of Slytherin shall not do so.”**_  
  
Dumbledore was sputtering as Slytherin broke out into whispers.  
  
Harry glanced over at an ice-blonde teenage boy around their age, who had gone white.   
  
A slim Slytherin boy with similar colouring to Dearborn and a boy who was rather beefy himself were fussing over him along with a brunette girl with an unfortunate nose that resembled a pug’s.  
  
 _ **“Slytherin is fortunate, not since the 1940s has it had a complete Council.”**_ Hogwarts said almost brightly in its odd four-fold voice.  
  
The pug nosed Slytherin girl frowned, “Who is Queen?”  
  
 _ **“Matilda Prewett of course.”**_ there was a lit of laughter in the voice.  
  
The pug-nosed girl turned to look at a girl sitting alone at the end of the table, “Prewett?”  
  
 _ **“Her grandmother was a Black.”**_ Hogwarts chided.  
  
The pug-nosed girl nodded sharply, “I see.” Her voice was surprisingly not yipping or insulting.  
  
Urquhart was clearly fuming because he wasn’t allowed to resign his prefect status because of a resorted prefect.  
  
“Slytherin should keep at least one of it’s prefects.” Ollivander shrugged.  
  
 _ **“Ravenclaw’s replacement prefect is Marcus Belby.”**_  
  
Katie groaned.  
  
“Twin prefects?” the chubby Ravenclaw grinned. “When was that last time that happened?  
  
 _ **“The Lovegood-Greengrass twins and before that the Dearborn twins.”**_ Hogwarts answered.  
  
Ron glared at the hat, “Why are we here? I don’t want any House but Gryffindor.”  
  
 _ **“Ronald and Ginevra Dumbledore, Hufflepuff like your sire was and your bearer ought to have been. For Hufflepuff accepts those who don’t have the qualities they all cherish and nurtures them all the same.”**_  
  
Ginny seemed to have shrunk in size at the declaration.  
  
Ron glared, “I refuse.”  
  
 _ **“Bat spleens and rat tails, we don’t care. You’re a Hufflepuff because only Helga would take you. Hogwarts has spoken.”** _  
  
The walls glowed like the moon on a cloudless night.  
  
“I refuse to surrender my post.” A boy about age with an Irish accent said shortly.  
  
 _ **“Acceptable.”**_ Hogwarts said through the Sorting Hat, _**“Dean Dearborn of Gryffindor will you serve as prefect?”**_  
  
Dean nodded, “I would be honoured.”  
  
Ron’s badge flew through the air, with him lunging for it and falling on his face when he tripped over his large feet to affix itself on Dean’s robes.  
  
A tiny flaxen hair Gryffindor who had been sitting with Dean prior to Hogwarts’ summons clapped his hands excitedly and a tall honey-haired teen shook his hand.  
  
Dean saluted Harry, Hermione and the twins before they made their way to their new House Tables.   
  
Dudley slowly moved towards Gryffindor table to take a seat after his companions left from their new Houses leaving him alone with no one he knew in Gryffindor.  
  
 _ **“Now we can commence with normal Sorting. We are watching.”**_   
  
The hat sang as it always did but this time it’s song was different…  
  
 _In times of old when I was new_  
 _And Hogwarts barely started_  
 _The Founders of our noble school_  
 _Thought never to be parted:_  
  
 _United by a common goal,_  
 _They had the selfsame yearning_  
 _To make the world's best magic school_  
 _And pass along their learning._  
  
 _"Together we will build and teach!"_  
 _The Four good friends decided_  
 _And never did they dream that they_  
 _Might someday be divided,_  
  
 _For were there such friends anywhere_  
 _As Slytherin and Gryffindor?_  
 _Unless it was the second pair_  
 _Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw?_  
  
 _So how could it have gone so wrong?_  
 _How could such friendships fail?_  
 _Why, I was there and so can tell_  
 _The whole sad, sorry tale._  
  
 _Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those_  
 _Whose ancestry is purest."_  
 _Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose_  
 _Intelligence is surest."_  
  
 _Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those_  
 _With brave deeds to their name,"_  
 _Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot,_  
 _And treat them just the same."_  
  
 _These differences caused little strife_  
 _When first they came to light,_  
 _For each of the four founders had_  
 _A House in which they might_  
 _Take only those they wanted, so,_  
  
 _For instance, Slytherin_  
 _Took only pure-blood wizards_  
 _Of great cunning, just like him,_  
  
 _And only those of sharpest mind_  
 _Were taught by Ravenclaw_  
  
 _While the bravest and the boldest_  
 _Went to daring Gryffindor,_  
  
 _Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest,_  
 _And taught them all she knew,_  
  
 _Thus the Houses and their founders_  
 _Retained friendships firm and true._  
 _So Hogwarts worked in harmony_  
 _For several happy years,_  
  
 _But the discord crept among us_  
 _Feeding on our faults and fears._  
  
 _The Houses that, like pillars four,_  
 _Had once held up our school,_  
 _Now have turned upon each other and,_  
 _Divided, sought to rule._  
  
 _For now it seems the school_  
 _Might meet an early end,_  
 _What with dueling and with fighting_  
 _And the clash of friend on friend_  
  
 _In the past there came a morning_  
 _When Ravenclaw this life departed_  
 _And though the fighting had by then died out_  
 _She left us quite downhearted._  
  
 _And never since the founders four_  
 _Were whittled down to three_  
 _Have the Houses been united_  
 _And they once were meant to be._  
  
 _And now the Sorting Hat is here_  
 _And you all know the score:_  
 _I sort you into Houses_  
 _Because that is what I'm for,_  
  
 _But this year I'll go further,_  
 _Listen closely to my song:_  
 _Though condemned I am to split you_  
 _Still I worry that it's wrong,_  
  
 _Though I must fulfil my duty_  
 _And must quarter every year_  
 _Still I wonder whether sorting_  
 _May not bring the end I fear._  
  
 _Oh, know the perils, read the signs,_  
 _The warning history shows,_  
 _For our Hogwarts is in danger_  
 _From external and internal deadly foes_  
  
 _And we must unite inside her_  
 _Or we'll crumble from within_  
 _I have told you, I have warned you.._  
 _Let the sorting now begin_  
  
The warning fell on willing ears for students who knew and believed that Voldemort had returned were more than willing to work together. Those who weren’t sure still loved Hogwarts and wanted it to endure.  
  
Once the Sorting had finished, Dumbledore made a speech telling everyone that the forest was forbidden. Then he started to introduce the new staff members.  
  
“Hagrid has extended his vacation and won’t be joining us until later in the year. Former student and a staff member of last year’s tournament Charlie Weasley has agreed to teach Care of Magical Creatures and see that the groundskeeper duties are fulfilled. It seems that his brother Prefect George Weasley has been accepted as a teaching assistant for the Third Years. Apprenticing Charms Mistress-in Training former Head Girl Penelope Clearwater has been assigned the Third Year Charms Class. As per usual, we have a new Defence instructor. Her name is Dolores Umbridge, former undersecretary for the Minister for Magic who is looking for a career change. Please welcome them. Now with no further,”  
  
Umbridge cleared her throat loudly.  
  
Dumbledore frowned, “Yes Dolores?”  
  
“I would like to say a few words.” The toadish woman said.  
  
Snape looked like he’d swallowed a lemon, McGonagall’s lips were a thin line, Sprout’s eyebrows had disappeared into her hair and Flitwick looked horrified.  
  
The students were shocked and annoyed; they’d already been waiting longer than usual for their supper.  
  
“Thank you, Headmaster for those kind words of welcome.” Professor Umbridge simpered.  
  
Already having suspicions of her involvement with Harry’s encounter with Dementors this summer Dudley looked at her with extreme dislike. He wouldn’t be surprised if Harry and Hermione shared his dissatisfaction…  
  
Dudley who normally liked girls, instinctively hated everything about her from high-pitched, girlish unnatural voice to her pink outfit.  
  
“Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say!” Umbridge smiled, revealing very pointed teeth. “And to see such happy little faces looking up at me!”   
  
“Did she sharpen them or was she a vampire with teeth like those?” Dudley heard Seamus whisper and the bloke seemed to shiver.  
  
Slytherin wasn’t happy at all rather they were scowling at the witch, deeply insulted at her tone and implication that they were small children rather then young men and women. Some were muttering darkly under their breath.  
  
Hermione’s fellow Ravenclaws sniffed and turned their noses up at her, while Dudley’s companions at Gryffindor were indignant.  
  
“I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all and I’m sure we’ll be very good friends!” Umbridge said clapping her hands.  
  
The other professors were even more astonished.  
  
The whispering apparently had grown loud enough to be heard on the dais where the Head table sat.  
  
Dean snorted, “What does she think we’re five? She sounds like a kindergarten teacher.”  
  
Dudley didn’t remember ever having a woman this cavity-causing sweet at St. Gregory’s…  
  
Professor Umbridge cleared her throat again, “Ahem, ahem,” but when she continued, some of the previous tone had vanished from her voice. She sounded much more businesslike and now her words had a dull learned-by-heart sound to them.   
  
“The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the Wizarding community must be passed down the generations lest we lose them forever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching.”    
  
Professor Umbridge paused here and made a little bow to her fellow staff members, none of who bowed back to her.   
  
The four heads of the houses exchanged glances of one part wonder and one part indignation.  
  
Umbridge’s spine stiffened at their very apparent lack of acknowledgement of her ‘praise’ but she continued regardless. “Every Headmaster and Headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay. There again, progress for progress’s sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation…”   
  
From the look on his cousin’s face, Harry found something quite odd about her voice, some were listening intently and nodding but they were people like Ginny and Ron Weasley who were easily led.  
  
Those who clearly could think for themselves were getting discouraged with her speech.  
  
Dudley wanted to use magic to take her cloying voice away but that would surely get him into trouble and the displeasure of his mother was the last thing he wanted.  
  
“Stuff and nonsense.” Seamus snorted, “She sounds like my uncle Ryan in one of his mind-numbing rambles about how disgusting Muggle are.”  
  
Professor Umbridge did not seem to notice the restlessness of her audience, since so few were actually interested could they truly be called an audience?   
  
Dudley had the distinct impression that a full-scale insurrection could break out under her nose and she would have continued on with her speech.   
  
If his growing suspicions were correct, that might not be a bad idea. A little rebellion might be fun…if it weren’t for the possibility of Andromeda’s displeasure of course.  
  
What was the fun of being a Black and Sirius’ ‘nephew’ if one didn’t bend the rules to suit one every once in a while? The Hat did mention Dudley didn’t have much respect for rules sometimes…  
  
The teachers, however, were still listening very attentively, and prefects like Hermione and the Slytherins seemed to be drinking in every word Umbridge spoke, though, judging by their expression, they were not at all to their taste.   
  
“…because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognized as errors of judgment. Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited.” She sat down.  
  
Dumbledore clapped but the Headteachers like Snape and McGonagall did not. Other staff members clapped only once or twice to be polite.   
  
Students who did were glared to stop by their Housemates.  
  
“Thank you very much, Professor Umbridge, that was most illuminating,” Dumbledore said, bowing to her. “Now, as I was saying, Quidditch tryouts will be held…”   
  
“Yes, it certainly was illuminating,” Dudley muttered.   
  
“I’m Dean Thomas. Really?” Dean asked dryly.  
  
Dudley sniffed, “It shows what sort of plan the Ministry has for the lot of us. I’m glad my mother isn’t here, I’m sure she would curse her silent. She has little respect for that woman, what was anyone thinking sending her here?”  
  
“Me name’s Seamus Finnigan. Just who is your mother?” Seamus frowned.  
  
“A very intimidating woman.” Dudley shivered, “Very intelligent, a Daughter of the House of Black. Mother’s a Healer and a Potion’s Mistress.”  
  
“Neville Longbottom. But back to the speech, what do you think of phrases like ‘progress for progress’s sake must be discouraged’ or ‘pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited’?” Neville asked.  
  
“I’ll tell you what it means,” Dudley sneered. “It means the Ministry’s interfering at Hogwarts.”   
  
Then Dinner was served and they were momentarily distracted.  
  
They fed well, the food was surprisingly more scrumptious then his previous meals at Smeltings…  
   
Dumbledore dismissed them.

  
XoooooX

  
Dudley was reluctantly following the Head Girl who was leading the First Years up to the Tower.  
  
Hermione was going somewhere else and so were the only other students he knew really: Hermione to Ravenclaw Tower and the guys to the Slytherin Dungeons. So rather then knowing four Gryffindors, if one ignored the existence of his former roommate Ron the traitor and Ginny the whinger, Dudley didn’t know anyone.  
  
Once they reached the Tower and were given the password, a statuesque girl with African ancestry turned to face them.  
  
“For those who don’t really know me my name is Angelina Johnson. I am our House Captain and Head Girl. I’ll introduce my prefects: Seventh Years Alicia Spinnett and Salem Transfer Blake Hawthorne, Sixth Years Katerina Belby better known as Katie Bell and Edward Stewart as well as Fifth Years Susan Bones and Dean Thomas. Any students who need help finding classes or any type of assistance my prefects would be glad to help.” The tall smug dark girl announced.  
  
Dudley barely repressed a smirk, Head Girl? Ha, he thought his mother was more suited to such a position.   
  
“Since it’s a Friday, classes won’t start until Monday so enjoy two days of no classes. I do hope you all finished your summer homework. For those who haven’t I recommend you spend your weekend doing so. Gryffindor Quidditch tryouts will be tomorrow afternoon about 3 o’clock I believe because Snape requested the pitch first.” The head girl grumbled.   
  
Knowing that there were holes in the team Dudley planned to try out for Beater like Uncle Sirius.   
  
A handful of boys approached him.  
  
“You’re the new Third Year?” one asked.  
  
Dudley nodded, “Dudley Black-Tonks.”  
  
“Gaheris Pucey, but my friends call me Gary. This is my friend Geoff Harper, he’s a Third Year and that’s Mike Krum and Dennis Creevey but he goes by Prewett now he says.”  
  
Dudley grinned, “Nice to meet you.”  
  
“We’ll show you up to the dorms and we’ll give you a tour tomorrow if you like so you won’t get lost. I signed up for everything but Geoff only has Muggle Studies and Magical Creatures.” Gary continued.  
  
“Pucey?” Dudley frowned. “Isn’t that the Head Boy’s name?”  
  
Gary grinned, “That’s my brother, he’s the greatest brother ever.”  
  
“I told you zhat Viktor iz.” Mike said frowning.  
  
“No Colin is the best brother.” The tiny kid said with a pout.  
  
Dudley blinked, “Colin? The kid who got resorted to Ravenclaw with Hermione?”  
  
The four Gryffindors stared at him agape.  
  
Gary recovered first, “You know Hermione?”  
  
Dudley nodded, “Spent the last few weeks with her, Fred, George and Harry. I needed some tutoring so Hermione helped me with my History of Magic, George worked with me on Herbology, Fred is very keen at Transfiguration, Remus,”  
  
Gary gaped again, “You mean Professor Lupin?  
  
Dudley nodded, “Yeah, he’s very good at Charms.”  
  
Dennis frowned, “I thought he taught Defence, that’s what Colin said.”   
  
Dudley shrugged, “I know but he said that Charms was his best subject. My mother’s cousin and the Head of our Family taught me Defense. He’s a retired Auror.”  
  
“What’s his name?” Gary asked thoughtfully.  
  
Dudley knew that Uncle Sirius was on the run so he couldn’t say that it was he so he smirked, “He told me to call him Padfoot, it’s a nickname.”  
  
Sirius was Padfoot, Remus was Moony, Harry’s dad was Prongs and the traitor was Wormtail; they were safe-ish names to talk about sine they were relatively unknown.  
  
“We better show you to our Dormitory.” Geoff rumbled, “Johnson’s given us the evil eye…”  
  
Dudley yawned, “Despite my nap on the train, so many late nights doing revisions and essays as well as astronomy lessons have taken their toll…”  
  
Gary led the way, heading up a staircase pausing to point out the First Year Dormitory.   
  
Then Dennis and Mike peeled off to enter the Second Year Dormitory.  
  
Dudley found Tama on a bed in the Third Year Dormitory.  
  
“That’d be yours Dudley, we’ve always been four, now we’ve got the same number as the other years…” Geoff yawned.  
  
“You’re forgetting that some have been resorted.” Gary reminded Geoff.  
  
Dudley ignored them and dressed for bed with Tama lying at his head after he slipped into bed.  
  
Being exhausted and full he was asleep as soon as he hit the pillow.  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	24. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

  
Dudley woke with a yawn, stumbling into the shower to wake up properly.  
  
When he returned to his dormitory he dressed in this Chambray Cotton Military shirt, his All-Saints Griffin Leather Biker jacket, a pair of Sirius’ cast-off black trousers and his black skull-and-crossbones high-topped Converse. A bit of gel courtesy of Sirius and he styled his hair in a rendition of that rocker from Full House.  
  
They had had a TV in their dormitory and well; Piers had a crush on the elder sister…  
  
Dudley had been subjected to it but never really liked the show, though he thought that rocker uncle had great style…  
  
His roommates, Gary and Geoff were soon dressed as well.  
  
“Breakfast?” Dudley asked hopefully.  
  
“Salazar’s wand, where did you get those clothes?” Gary whistled, “And I thought that your outfit last night was amazing…”  
  
“Westfield London.” Dudley said nonchalantly.  
  
“Cool, is that a Muggle place?”  
  
“A high-class shopping centre.” Dudley smirked, “Hermione insisted that we all needed expensive wardrobes for school.”  
  
“If we hurry you can meet my best friend, he’s in Ravenclaw but he’s a Second Year like Mike and Dennis.” Gary grinned.  
  
Geoff seemed rather unconcerned about that.  
  
Dudley shrugged, “Sure why not. With Harry, George and Fred in Slytherin as well as Hermione in Ravenclaw, I don’t really know anyone but you four.”  
  
“Come on then.” Gary said giving Dudley a friendly punch in the arm.  
  
They met Mike and Dennis as the Second Years were exiting the Second Year Dormitory and the five Gryffindor blokes set off to head to breakfast.  
  
They met a boy with wavy brown hair that had auburn highlights, grey eyes and a welcoming smile.  
  
“Hey Gary!”  
  
The two boys exchanged a friendly back slapping hug.  
  
“Laurel this is Dudley Black-Tonks, our new dormmate. Dudley, this is Laurel Parkinson.”  
  
“Pleased to meet you.” Laurel said with a bow and then held out his hand.  
  
“Same here.” Dudley said proudly as he returned both the bow and the warm handshake.  
  
“How do you like Hogwarts so far?” Laurel asked as they resumed their trek to the Great Hall.  
  
“It’s bloody brilliant.” Dudley said excitedly, “I was ever so jealous when Harry got a letter and I didn’t. Made things rather awkward between us, I was supposed to have one but someone blocked my magic from asserting itself. It sort of burst out this summer and I had to learn two years worth of work in like a month.”  
  
“You’re joking…” Laurel stammered, “Two years in a month? That should be like impossible…”  
  
“I had your newest Ravenclaw prefect for a teacher, believe me I didn’t have a choice. Being fifteen, I didn’t want to start as a First Year so I studied really hard.” Dudley shrugged.  
  
“Well we’re glad to have you.” Gary said slapping him on the back;  “About time we had an older bloke in our group. We’re mostly Second Years as you can see, I was the old one but I’ll gladly pass that hat off to you mate.”  
  
As awkward as being friends with younger blokes was, Dudley was glad to have companions at least…  
  
They entered the Great Hall finally and with a wave, Laurel walked to the next table while the five Gryffindors claimed seats at their house table.  
  
All was rather boring until the three blokes that Dudley had sat next to last night; Dean, Seamus and Neville who seemed to be close to Harry rose together to walk over to Slytherin table to talk to his cousin.  
  
What they talked about Dudley couldn’t hear but Johnson, Spinnet and a chocolate skinned boy with corkscrew curls followed them to talk to Fred and George.  
  
Which started a visible but entirely unintelligible at this distance verbal sparing between the Head Girl and the Slytherin Quidditch Captain.  
  
Speaking of Quidditch, there were supposed to be tryouts today…  
  
Since Fred and George were sent to Slytherin there was clearly an opening on the Gryffindor team and Dudley planned to take advantage of that.  
  
Even if he didn’t think much of the captain’s personality…  
  
He was actually surprised when he was tapped on the shoulder.  
  
Dudley turned around to see Dean, “Thomas.”  
  
Thomas chuckled, “Black-Tonks, Harry wants us to join him. He said something about conversations in the gentleman’s parlour. Does that mean anything to you?”  
  
Dudley fondly reminisced for a moment or two about the discussions that they had after dinner prior to his retiring for homework and revision. He nodded, “Yeah, so he summons me? As the Black heir, it seems that I have no choice in the matter so I better join you.” he rose, “I’ll see you later then Gary. You guys going to tryouts?”  
  
Gary shrugged, “Maybe, Andy’s a Chaser.”  
  
Thomas frowned, “Andy?”  
  
“Adrian Pucey?” Gary replied grinning, “The Head Boy is my brother.”  
  
“I see. Decent bloke for a Slytherin.” Thomas replied politely. “We better hurry, we’re meeting the crowd in the Astronomy Tower.”  
  
Dudley followed Thomas and Finnigan out of the Great Hall, wondering just what Harry wanted to talk about…       
  
Harry and Urquhart had made their way from Slytherin table out of the Great Hall, with four Gryffindors, the twins and Hermione at their heels.  
  
Once they all filled into what was presumably the Astronomy Tower, Fred conjured chairs while Hermione began casting privacy spells.  
  
“What do you want to do up here?” Thomas frowned.  
  
Harry, Hermione, Fred, George and Dudley took out their pipes and tobacco tins.  
  
Harry lit his, “So…” he began as he took a drag off his dragon pipe, “What is the temperature of Ravenclaw my dear eagle?”  
  
“Some have bought into the Ministry and the Prophet’s nonsense, but Chang believes you about how Diggory died which means all of her friends do too. Lovegood and Colin do as well. They’re already seemingly best friends; they’re reminding everyone about how they all treated you last time when the Chamber was opened and how you weren’t the Heir. Besides even if the fake Moody showed us the Unforgivables it’s unlikely that a Fourth Year could cast them. I told them that the Ministry can trace spells to see who cast what on someone; if you had then they would have arrested you rather than used the Prophet for character assassination.” Hermione shrugged.  
  
“Thank you, so are the students using their heads?” Harry drawled.  
  
“Most of them are, only I think Davies is just being a git about it and as for Belby he’s just too lazy to think for himself.” Hermione sniffed.  
  
“Well Gryffindor’s behind you,” Thomas grinned. “My parents don’t know anything and I won’t tell them. The less they know about our world the safer it is. They couldn’t take me to Diagon Alley the first time so Professor Flitwick offered and since Second Year I’ve tagged along with Seamus.”  
  
“Máthair almost bought it until grandfather and I reminded her that Fudge is an incompetent twat. Something about a Ministry official sneaking his son out of Azkaban and how they hushed it up last year by having the prisoner Kissed rather than investigating...” Finnigan offered.  
  
“How did you grandfather hear about that mess?” Harry scowled.  
  
“He went to school with Hawk Dawlish; old Hawk is one of the Minister’s personal Aurors. Hawk hates Fudge and thinks he’s an incompetent fool. Umbridge is a wily cat with claws. She thinks the sun shines out of Fudge’s arse while she leads him around by the nose. Fudge couldn’t lead his way out of a bag according to Hawk.” Finnigan shrugged. “She’s been ingrating herself to Fudge for years, Weasley was on the fast track to being the youngest Head of Department ever because he was running Crouch’s Department for him while he was gone. She made Fudge reassign him before Weasley was officially appointed. Weasley could have been Minister by the next election. After all, the people vote but the Wizengamot chooses the Minister. Sometimes they listen and sometimes they don’t. Fudge was the best of bad choices the first time. People got comfortable with him and he’s one of our own, one of the old families. No one’s got the sort of pedigree and achievements to match him.”  
  
“Dad said before Percy went all crazy that Percy managed to clean up the mess politically between the Ministries that oversee Durmstrang and Beauxbatons. He was really proud of him, dunno what’s up with Percy. He was acting so unlike himself…” Fred frowned  
  
“Isn’t ending up in the Minister’s office is like political suicide?” Hermione asked wrinkling her nose.  
  
“Well just about, your accomplishments don’t really exist there because it’s all to support the Minister; you’re better off making a name for yourself elsewhere.” Finnigan snipped.  
  
“So Gryffindors’ using their brains and so is Ravenclaw mostly. Not sure about Slytherin…” Harry muttered puffing on his pipe, “I don’t know enough about them to know what they think. Those with Death Eater parents like Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle I know, know that He’s back. They may have already seen him…”  
  
“I’m close to Professor Sprout,” Longbottom offered, “I can ask what Hufflepuff thinks…”

“I don’t like those useless duffers.” George spat, “Diggory was a two-timing, useless git. If he was the best Hogwarts could offer the tournament it wasn’t any wonder that he got himself killed. Who is kidnapped by portkey and doesn’t draw their wand or take up a defensive stance?”  
  
“He had to be handfed the challenges. I told him about the dragons.” Harry snorted, “Fake Moody told him about the egg. I don’t know who he got to help him with the maze, probably his Ravenclaw girlfriend…”  
  
“I wonder if Fake Moody flummoxed the Goblet to choose a fool so that you would be the winner, I mean didn’t he take out your only real competition?” Fred mused.  
  
“By Imperioing Krum to Crucio Diggory and freezing Delacour.” Harry snorted.  
  
“There is a Mikhail Krum in Second Year; he’s friends with a Gaheris Pucey.” Dudley offered, “Seems decent, talks with a strong accent.”  
  
“Gaheris is Adrian’s younger brother.” Urquhart tossed in his two pennies worth.  
  
“I’d like to meet this Krum,” Harry said thoughtfully, “I wonder if he’s Viktor’s brother. On another note, does anyone else think the toad wench’s presence here is a sign of the Ministry interfering at Hogwarts?”  
  
Dudley knew due to Mike’s comments about it but didn’t offer to enlighten his cousin.  
  
“Of course.” Hermione sniffed. “Have you read that textbook? Not one spell in it.”  
  
“How in the world does one fight an enemy if they can’t even think to draw their wand? When I go or arrive somewhere I pull my wand…” Harry grumbled, “…usually. I hurt my ankle helping Diggory and instead of splinting it for me or supporting me he just let me limp on it. I maybe used to pain but walking on sprained limbs is bad for you.”  
  
Dudley inwardly flinched.  
  
“Then Fake Moody dragged you off before you had any medical attention and Dumbledore just let him.” Hermione snipped. “Some protector he is…”  
  
“I think Hogwarts needs a new headmaster.” Harry admitted dryly. “Look what he’s allowed to happen since we started? Voldemort infiltrated the school every year with an operative. I mean my parents’ betrayer managed to be here for years, Quirrell was possessed, Ginny was used to open the Chamber and last year Voldy sent Crouch Jr. Polyjuiced as Moody. If Dumbledore and Moody are such friends, shouldn’t he have realised something was wrong and confront him? I mean we’d do that for each other right?”  
  
The twins, Hermione and Longbottom nodded.  
  
“If Dean was acting strange I’d talk to him about it.” Finnigan offered.  
  
“Same. I mean we’re not as close to you as they are really, so we’d have to be sure they thought you were acting all weird before we’d do anything.” Thomas shrugged.  
  
Urquhart nodded, “I’d have to agree with Thomas.”  
  
“How would we get everyone’s attention that Dumbledore sucks at his job?” Fred asked biting his pipe.  
  
“What about protests, strikes and other non-violent methods of civil unrest?” Dudley offered. “We learned about people like Ghandi in social studies, if Umbridge is that dreadful why don’t we find ways to teach ourselves? Fred, George and Hermione are really good teachers. They helped me pass two years worth of exams in a month or so. I wouldn’t be a third year if it weren’t for them.”  
  
“I asked Sirius to teach me the patronus charm; I think that is one spell everyone should know. Parkinson said she hates Dementors. I’m sure most would want to know how to use it, book knowledge is only so useful.” Hermione offered with a thoughtful expression.  
  
“The Order of Burnt Chicken Sycophants uses them for communication. Did Sirius teach you that?” Dudley asked.  
  
Hermione smirked, “Of course. Burnt Chicken? You may have a point, as if a creature as regal as a phoenix would be associated willing to a group of persons as weak-willed and easily led as that lot.”  
  
“Uncle Albus likes to surround himself with sheep; he likes the feeling of being superior and worshiped. It annoys him that I won’t, as if his attending to his supposed duties as a godfather were all that laudable. He’s only doing it to ease his conscience if he has one.” Urquhart sneered.  
  
“Well if no one wants to teach us Defence in a classroom, we’ll have to teach ourselves. We can adapt lessons plans from Sirius and Remus,” Harry mused, “whether they believe me or not, they should be as prepared as possible for OWLS and NEWTS. Especially with some of the joke professors we’ve have.’  
  
“You know that Umbridge won’t let us do it, what with her promises to prune everything.” Hermione warned.  
  
“Well if Uncle Albus can have his precious Order to fight Voldemort, why don’t we make something similar to fight against the Ministry and Uncle Albus?” Urquhart offered.  
  
“I want to be a thorn in their side; they’ve both grievously insulted the House of Black…” Harry said thoughtfully chewing on the stem of his pip.  
  
“Then why don’t you call it Blackthorn?” Fred snickered.  
  
“That’s stupid,” Finnigan began.  
  
“No, it’s brilliant.” Harry grinned, “I like it. We’ll plan out classes, a location and meeting times.”  
  
“I think that aptitude and knowledge will vary from person to person.” Urquhart mused. “I’m mostly self-taught but Uncle Albus was my tutor when I was young until I exasperated him. Plus my father was the Head of the Magnus Brutus so we have a huge amount of books on combating the Dark Arts and recognizing them, as well as how Dark Lords rise to power and how to recognize them. Maybe that will come in handy…”  
  
“Why don’t you and Hermione get together and plan the lessons as well as a criteria of what spells one should be able to use to determine what level we should place them.” Harry ordered. “For now we’ll plan and we’ll wait until we have final proof of how unreliable a teacher the toadish woman is. When we’re ready a word in the right ears and we should have plenty of interested students. If you know of any mark conscientious Hufflepuffs Neville, perhaps they’ll come.”  
  
“Can I get a look at those books?” Hermione pleaded.  
  
Urquhart shrugged, “Sure. I’ve read them all a dozen times at least.”  
  
“Never stand between my girl and books. She tried to inhale the Black family library.” Fred teased.  
  
“I thought that the House of Black was mostly gone?” Urquhart frowned.  
  
“Our grandmother Cedrella was a Black.” George smirked.  
  
“So was my great-grandmother Callidora.” Longbottom offered tentatively.  
  
“My grandmother Dorea and great-grandmother Elektra were on my father’s side. I believe my mother’s great-grandfather was one as well.” Harry shrugged.  
  
“Those were mostly secondary lines; the main one is sort of extinct. They were females who didn’t stay Blacks mostly.” Urquhart scowled.  
  
“Our bearer’s grandmother was Lucida Black before her bonding.” Fred offered. “Not that we’re talking to her. Lucida is apparently Prewett’s grandmother. She’s the daughter of a lateborn it seems…”  
  
“Well being the granddaughter of a Black and the only female of close Black blood that would explain her elevation in status from least.” Urquhart noted.  
  
“There is status in Slytherin?” Longbottom asked wrinkling his nose.  
  
Urquhart sighed, “It’s not commonly discussed but in a show of community building and an attempt to increase communication I’ll talk about it. Three bloodlines are revered in Slytherin House; Slytherin’s close companions in his youth beyond Gryffindor were a Black and a Malfoy. When their children were young the Founders were discussing opening the first magic school to ensure that all magical children received the best education. He approached his friends to ask what sort of a place he would have to help create to ensure that their progeny at least their firstborns and all of their daughters would attend.”  
  
“I see…” Hermione mused.  
  
“It was unheard of to educate witches, especially those among the titled beyond simple magic. They could use cleaning magic but those with servants to tend to such things rarely they learned beyond reading and simple math to keep their own personal accounts if needed. Their fathers, brothers or spouses oversaw much. It wasn’t until titles were granted to witches such as the Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Smith and Clearwater lines for a variety of reasons that reforms to witches rights were given. Many of the powerful that were close to a Founder, friends you might say were granted seats on the Board of Governors that belonged to them and their offspring. Slytherin appointed Black, Prince and Malfoy to his seats. Princes have often served as advisers or even rivals in potions pushing them to greater feats. I believe that the Bloody Baron was a Lestrange in life. If my readings were accurate he was born Romulus Lestrange, Baron Strange of Blackmere. His father was Remus, the Lestranges have often been known for their tempers.” Urquhart shrugged.  
  
“Why don’t we learn this stuff in History of Magic?” Harry scowled, “It would be so much more interesting then those stupid goblin wars.”  
  
“Goblin wars aren’t stupid!” Hermione protested. “Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat It.” she turned to Dudley, “Please explain to Harry what caused the last one?”  
  
“The seizure of the Dumbledore assets following the arrest of Lord Percival Dumbledore which the goblins protested and shut their doors creating a recession. No money could be taken from the London branch Gringotts, no documents filed and no new money was minted. It wasn’t until the Minister for Magic at the time sat down with the Goblin King and the Head Goblin of Gringotts London sat down and hammered out a new charter that granted more rights to the goblins that hostilities ceased.” Dudley recited dutifully.  
  
“Why can’t Binns put it in simple terms like that?” Harry groused. “I understood that.”  
  
“I have an idea.” Thomas spoke up; he seemed as if he was usually quiet and thoughtful rather than boisterous like his best mate.  
  
Everyone turned to him.  
  
“What idea is that?” Harry asked raising an eyebrow in unconscious imitation of his uncle.  
  
“There just isn’t enough culture explanation in our classes. I’d like to learn more about Wizarding society as a whole, like where the major cities are or at least where their centres of commerce and government are located, how power is distributed, how elections work and the like. My sisters would learn that in school…” Thomas shrugged.  
  
“Something like sociology or political science?” Dudley hazarded a guess.  
  
“Exactly.” Thomas nodded, “What is the history of our interaction with other Ministries? Why didn’t we know about the Triwizard before last year if we didn’t read the History of Hogwarts? How many different magical schools are there? Where are they in general? Most people know Hogwarts is in Scotland at least. Why don’t we learn foreign languages as an elective? I know there are spells to help comprehend them but why aren’t they offered? Muggle schools offer Spanish, French, Chinese, Japanese, sign language and even Hmong. Between the Chamber incident and Diggory’s murder, why don’t we have some sort of counsellor? Someone for the students to talk to about their fears? If You-Know-Who is back like Harry says and I’m not disputing it, then fear will run rampant. They’ll need to feel like they are accomplishing something. With all the things that have happened since we started I wouldn’t exactly agree that Hogwarts is the safest place.”  
  
“Me either. Who did you say was on the Board of Governors Aodhan?” Harry mused.  
  
“Slytherin’s is vacant but as soon as I turn seventeen I can take it, the board wouldn’t dare argue with Hogwarts herself. Under Slytherin is Prince; which I believe is held by Professor Snape, Malfoy which is Draco’s father, and Black which is silent since the last one to hold the seat died in what 1992? I believe that was Cassiopeia Black, former consort of Hera Lovegood.” Urquhart answered dully.  
  
“I will write to Andromeda and ask her to start attending meetings on behalf of the House of Black. Who else?”  
  
“Ravenclaw is held by Madam Aurora Greengrass’ mother Daria due to the heiress being underage, and that would be Luna I believe. Her mother passed when she was young and her grandmother Lady Lovegood died of shock. Apparently while her Greengrass relations trust him with his daughter they don’t trust her father to manage her estate. Then there is the Prewett’s which is vacant I believe,”  
  
“Gideon Prewett is alive and well, he’s taken our bearer to task for some indiscretions.” George interrupted. “If he’s back for that reason, then he’ll no doubt take further action.”  
  
“Then the Crouch and the Clearwater are the rest of the Ravenclaw faction. The Smiths hold Hufflepuff; I believe the current head is Madam Abigail. Then there is Madam Bones, Madam Burbage, Professor Burbage’s sister Faith who is Pucey’s mother and the Diggory seat.”  
  
“Bartimus Crouch is dead according to the Black Family Tapestry.” Harry said relighting his pipe. “With Crouch Jr. Kissed, that leaves the seat open, who is closest kin?”  
  
“According to my studies of genealogy with mother, Charis Black had three children with Castor Crouch: Clorinda who bonded to Gawain Dearborn and they had three children Alys Longbottom, Caradoc Dearborn and Galiene Dunbar; Bartimus whose line has ended and Charlene Johnson.” Dudley recited dutifully.  
  
“Gryffindor loyal seats are Peverell which is unclaimed, Potter’s only heir is you but you’re too young, Septimus Weasley holds the Weasley seat, Gryffindor,”  
  
“Is held by the Longbottoms,” Longbottom blushed, “Gran’s holding it until I’m of age. Grandfather died when I was seven and she’s been Head of our House since then. With my parents indisposed she’s my legal guardian.”  
  
“True.” Urquhart grumbled.  
  
‘King indeed, he really didn’t like being interrupted or talked over.’  Dudley silently observed.  
  
“So let’s see, I’ll ask my father’s cousin to sit for Potter since his grandfather was a Potter. Andromeda sits for the Blacks, Remus for the Potters, Severus for the Princes, Septimus for the Weasleys, Gideon for the Prewetts, Lucius for the Malfoys, Augusta for the Longbottoms, Emelia for the Bones, Daria for the Lovegoods, Faith for the Burbages, You for Slytherin, Abigail for the Smiths, who for the Clearwaters?” Harry mused.  
  
“I believe it is former Head Girl Penelope who is teaching Third Year Charms’ mother Patience.” Urquhart shrugged.  
  
“Patience for the Clearwaters, Amos for the Diggorys and Gideon for the Prewetts; Crouch and Peverell stand empty.”  
  
“Peverell ought to be Aodhan’s too.” Hermione offered.  
  
Urquhart frowned, “Why?”  
  
“Because Slytherin was descended from a Peverell that’s why.” Hermione said exasperated.  
  
“Andromeda said I was related to Slytherin because I have Gaunt blood through my great grandmother Electra. Why didn’t that come up when we were looking up stuff Second Year?” Harry frowned.  
  
“I don’t know! Maybe because we didn’t know that Gaunt had anything to do with Slytherin? It wasn’t in any book I found!” Hermione glared.  
  
“Because the Gaunts are descended from a female line just like the Longbottoms, that’s why the name changed. Smith changed when the title passed to a son who took their Bonded’s name, same with the Lovegoods. Grimaldi was the original name of the House of Black.”  
  
Harry grinned, “Then we’ll change it back, there has been too much shame heaped on the name recently. That leaves only the Crouch seat empty...”  
  
“Since the Crouch line is entailed upon the Male Line, it passes to the nearest male heir preferably a son of Caradoc but in absence of that I believe it would be this Longbottom’s inheritance. Wasn’t your mother’s birthname Dearborn?” Urquhart asked.  
  
Longbottom nodded.  
  
“The castle kept calling me Dearborn…” Thomas frowned.  
  
**_“Young man that is what you are.”_** Came the same four-fold voice.  
  
They turned to see a phoenix on the windowsill.  
  
“You can talk?” Harry frowned.  
  
_**“Only to his current Master, since Dumbledore has been foolish the bond between them broke. Fawkes is free of his bonding to the Headteacher of Hogwarts, we are Hogwarts and you have gotten our attention. Of course our friendship with Lady Amaryllis has helped us to learn more about you.”**_  
  
“Who is that?”  
  
_**“In the fullness of time the lady will reveal herself to you. Fawkes has offered as one last duty to the castle to serve as our voice for the year from time to time. His time of service is drawing to a close and he will bond himself to the line of his former Mistress once more.”**_  
  
“Former Mistress?” Hermione asked eagerly.  
  
_**“Fawkes was the familiar of Lady Rowena, former Queen of the Veela. Normally they are taken by the Court and raised but this one was lost. The Veela are searching for her, all they have to go on is a vague hint left by the Lady. Lady Rowena was the first Head of Hogwarts as well as guardian of her chosen students.”** _ The Castle spoke through the phoenix.  
  
“So I am a Dearborn?” Thomas frowned  
  
_**“The legal son of Caradoc Dearborn, Muggle adoption is not recognized because your blood is still that of a Dearborn.”**_ Hogwarts replied.  
  
“Who can I ask to speak for me?” Thomas asked.  
  
_**“You would be wise to request that Lady Augusta assume magical guardianship. As the mother-in-law of your Aunt Alys she would be honoured. That makes you and young Master Longbottom close cousins. Were you to refuse the title it would pass to Neville, it would be wise to refrain from that. As the Head of an old and revered line you would gain much.”**_ Was the four-fold voice’s reply.  
  
“Now that the names of all of Governors is known now what?” Finnigan grinned.  
  
“We begin our list of grievances, something perhaps we could discuss with our Head Boy and Girl. It would mean more coming from them I suspect and if the prefects signed it as well. At some point I’ll have to give an interview to set the story straight about Diggory’s death.” Harry shrugged.  
  
“Who are you and what have you done with Harry?” Longbottom whistled.  
  
“I’m still me but a lot more mature. Having someone cut down in front of you will do that. If Diggory is the sort of adult that Hogwarts is currently moulding then we have to change that. Diggory was our Champion, the face of Hogwarts. His failures are our failures, we must be better then that. Voldemort must be dealt with, the Triwizard must return. I think despite the meddling that the exposure to other cultures was good for us.” Harry snorted.  
  
“What about an exchange program?” Hermione offered, “I think that would great. A handful of students from each school attend another for a year and then returns. I think if the delegates lived at Hogwarts instead of the ship and the carriage things would have been different. We would have mixed better. I know there are empty dormitories in Gryffindor and I heard there as some in Ravenclaw Tower as well. Were there some in Slytherin that we could have housed the Durmstrangers in?”  
  
Urquhart snorted, “There are two Fifth Year Boys dormitories this year what do you think?”  
  
“Then why weren’t they asked to stay at the castle?” Hermione retorted, “We have lots of empty classrooms, we have plenty of room. We have at least what forty students per year? So that’s 280, I think given its size that Hogwarts can accommodate over a thousand. It has had more in the past I believe and it was constructed to adjust to the needs of the inhabitants was it not?” directing her question to the castle’s instrument...  
  
Fawkes let out a silvery laugh; _**“Well done Miss Granger you are a credit to your House. There was no reason indeed that the visiting schools were not granted accommodations. It was the choice of the Governors and the Ministry to reinstate the Triwizard. Dumbledore was against it and in a last attempt to derail the arrangements claimed that we were undergoing construction and renovations. Because it was Britain and our governors’ idea to reinstate it that we were allowed to host it, the previous host was Beauxbatons. We were of the opinion that they should be allowed to redeem themselves but no one questioned us.”**_  
  
“Then we’ll reopen negotiations, we will request that the tournament return. When were the tournaments again?” Harry frowned.  
  
_**“Every four years.”**_  
  
“Drat! We’ll be graduated.” Harry grumbled.  
  
_**“The rule about being of age is a good one. Hogwarts would have testified that you were innocent and we couldn’t lie. We were created without that ability, however good has come from it has it not?”**_  
  
Harry smirked, “It got me off the hook for using magic underage because the Ministry and Dumbledore accidentally declared me of age. So yes, thank you for not speaking up that time. Do we have your approval for our actions?”  
  
Fawkes laughed again, _**“Of course. We’ll even tell you the best places to meet. For your lessons you may use the Room of Requirement, be sure to pace the hall on seventh floor and explain your needs. In case you run late it is best to have it create secret passages to the common rooms. Ask and we’ll provide it’s our function for we adjust to best serve our students. If you would like a more secure place to meet if you locate the four Heirs you can open their quarters, the Founders’ Hall and the former Great Hall. Perhaps, you will find them where they aren’t expected.”**_  
  
“Where will they be?”  
  
_**“Two of them are among you already.”**_ Hogwarts informed them sweetly before Fawkes flew away.  
  
“That would be Rowena’s influence no doubt.” Hermione chuckled, “After all, to gain entrance to our Common Room you must answer a riddle or a question that involves logic.”  
  
“Probably.” Harry said darkly.  
  
They continued to discuss their plans awhile before their stomachs reminded them that it must be Lunch.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	25. Chapter 24

Chapter 24  
  
  
Dudley returned to Gryffindor table with Thomas, Finnigan and Seamus but wasn’t sure whether he was welcome to sit with them.  
  
Thankfully, Gary waved him over.  
  
Dudley joined the younger Gryffindors, mostly to get a sense of where they stood in regards to certain things.  
  
“So what did Potter want?” Gary asked.  
  
“He just wanted to know whether anyone believed him about how Diggory died or whether You-Know-Who was back. As well as impressions of our Defence proff.” Dudley snorted.  
  
“Father’s a hit wizard, he was assigned to track rumours of that person after Godric’s Hallow. He says he’s definitely back, we sort of grew up without him and mother was always busy with Wizengamot and Governor duties.” Gary shrugged, “So I’ve got no reason to disbelieve him anyway having Laurel for a friend well, you can imagine…after all his sister Pansy grew up with Draco.”

"Pansy?"

“The brunette sitting with that ice blonde bloke.” Gary said with a languid gesture.  
  
Dudley frowned, “The one with the unfortunate nose?”  
  
“Be careful,” a girl with golden ringlets tied back with a multi-coloured scarf frowned, “That’s my cousin.”  
  
Dudley swallowed, “My apologies. Dudley Black-Tonks.”  
  
“Lavender Brown. Are you related to Healer Tonks?” the golden angel asked.  
  
Dudley nodded, “She’s my mother.”   
  
The girl frowned. “I didn’t know she had a son.”  
  
“I’m adopted. I was a very distant relation and she always wanted a son, my birth parents became unable to care for me due to my magic.” Dudley shrugged.  
  
“That’s so sad.” Lavender said quietly.  
  
Dudley shrugged, “I’ve gotten over it, Mother’s a much better parent anyway.”  
  
“If you’re happy, Healer Tonks is a wonderful person…” was the last thing Lavender said before she turned back to her friend who looked a lot like Padma Patil who had been Ravenclaw’s Fifth Year Girls Prefect before Hermione was resorted.  
  
Absently, Dudley turned back to his meal.

  
XoooooX

  
Dudley watched intrigued as a majority of Slytherin House rose together as a single entity almost and exited the Great Hall in a very structured March.  
  
Gary, Geoff, Mike Krum and Dennis Creevey got up to follow them so Dudley decided to tag along because he had nothing better to do until his own House had their team try outs.  
  
Once the Slytherins reached the Quidditch pitch a powerfully built bloke who topped out at 6’5” turned to face them, “ _Crabbe, Goyle go fetch the box of equipment. All current team members now would be a good time to time to use switching charms to put on your uniforms. Malfoy please take our new Seeker and Beaters to pick out uniforms. I don’t want them to use their Gryffindor ones.”_  
  
That blonde bloke Dudley had noticed before; was clearly Malfoy because he was the one to escort Harry, Fred and George to get uniforms.  
  
Yet he found himself noticing the blokes called Crabbe and Goyle, he might not be interested in blokes the way Harry was but given his original descent from a Grace Goyle, Dudley was curious about this Goyle.   
  
Malfoy brought Harry and the twins back quickly so that they were just trailing after Crabbe and Goyle.   
  
Meanwhile Dudley tuned back into Slytherin’s captain after taking a place in the stands with Gary, Geoff, Mike and Dennis.   
  
_“I want two full teams. I can’t guarantee that a reserve will get match time but it might happen. If I see good work during practice I may alternate, then again I might not. We’ve gained three new members; it would be unintelligent not to take advantage of them. There maybe hurt feelings because some of our best players like Malfoy might be sidelined. But unlike Gryffindor we have a very good, probably the second best Seeker as our reserve who would be more than willing to step in at a moment’s notice.”_  
  
“That’s Brecc Montague, he’s like Andy’s best friend. You wouldn’t know it but he and Andy are tied for Top Marks. Andy’s just the nicer one. Father was gone a lot growing up so they looked after me and never complained about me tagging along all the time.” Gary grinned.  
  
 _“If you’re here as a Beater or a Seeker you can just watch because I’m only looking for four Chasers and two Keepers.” Montague glared. “Malfoy and Potter can take the snitch and practice. I want the twins up in the air; if prospective Chasers can fight through them to score without acting like a Hufflepuff I’ll consider you.”_  
  
“So the bloke beside him is your brother?” Dudley asked   
  
_“Why don’t you start with your names?” the bloke Dudley thought was Gary’s brother asked politely._  
  
Gary nodded, “The Honourable Hadrian Pucey, Viscount Lincoln. Then there is the Honourable Brecc Montague, Viscount Mandeville; the Honourable Draconis Malfoy, Viscount Whitechurch; the Honourable Vincent Crabbe, Viscount Crabbe; the Honourable Gregory Goyle, Viscount Blesington, Viscount Shannon, Viscount Goyle of Kynalmeaky and Bandon. The bloke standing next Harry Potter is Lord Aodhan Urquhart; Lord Balmerinoch, Lord Baron Keith of Banheath and Stonehaven Marischal.  
  
By now Montague had began to speak loudly.  
  
 _“Thank you Adrian, as a Seventh Year I haven’t had the opportunity to know most of you.” Montague shrugged._  
  
 _“Kevyn Bletchley, I’m a Sixth Year. My brother Miles graduated last year and he was House Keeper.” A nimble witch said smirking as she caressed her broom._  
  
 _“Matilda Prewett but I prefer to be called Mal.” The Queen of Slytherin said stubbornly. “I’m trying out for Chaser.”_  
  
The group of Gryffindors watched from the stands as Slytherin captain lectured his assembled House and guilted a few more Chaser candidates out of it but before Montague could send them up in shifts to get a feel for their skills.  
  
An argument broke out between the two largest Slytherins present Slytherin House’s Quidditch Captain and some guy named Cassius Warrington.  
  
 _“Cassius Warrington. Chaser.”_  
  
 _“Off the team.” Montague said shortly. “I don’t need anyone who can’t think for themselves. You’re aptly named because you’re empty-headed.”_  
  
 _“Don’t complain if you’re short.” Warrington retorted. “I offered.”_  
  
 _“Adrian has his rightful place as Chaser. Flint was an idiot to replace Adrian with you.” Montague tossed back._  
  
 _“You’re just saying that because you’re the one sucking on his cock.” Warrington sneered._  
  
 _Montague took two steps towards Warrington and towered over him by two inches. “If anything he sucks mine. If we both liked blokes and I’m not saying we do, because it’s none of your business, we have far too different tastes. I prefer mine to look vastly different. Someone perhaps with the build of a Beater and a Keeper personality…”_  
  
 _Warrington had the audacity to bring Pucey and Montague’s sexual orientation into question…_  
  
“Brecc’s just annoyed, thank Godric.” Gary said quietly.  
  
“How can you tell?” Dudley frowned.  
  
“He hasn’t slipped into Wiltshire dialect.” Gary scowled, “Though Warrington really is pushing it taking about Andy like that…”  
  
After Montague dressed down Warrington finally more Chasers came out of the crowd so Montague could send up teams. The first was under Pucey’s leadership and the second was under Montague’s.   
  
About four goals were scored, three by Montague’s team and one by Pucey’s before Harry caught the snitch bringing the score to 180 vs. 10.  
  
 _“Land now.” Montague shouted._  
  
All fourteen players did so.  
  
 _“I’m satisfied with what we have.” Montague glared at the others. “Disappoint me and remember you have these people who would be willing to take your place in a Plumpton Pass.”_  
  
Dudley leaned over to whisper in Gary’s ear, “What the bloody hell is a Plumpton Pass?”  
  
“A Quidditch move where a Seeker catches the snitch just over two seconds into a match.” Gary said out of the side of his mouth.  
  
Montague wrapped up his tryouts just in time for Dudley’s own House captain Angelina to arrive.  
  
Dudley joined his housemates in making their way to the pitch floor to join our Gryffindor team hopefuls.   
  
Johnson sniffed, “It seems thanks to Hogwarts we’ve lost not only our Keeper but our Beaters and Seeker. So we’ll need nearly an entire roster to play against Slytherin in November.”  
  
Montague conjured a comfortable chair and lazily relaxed as he leaned back to keep an eye on the competition.  
  
Urquhart had already retrieved a Slytherin uniform and joined Harry, Fred and George on a blanket where an elf had appeared with refreshments.  
  
Dudley was a bit jealous of that but he certainly didn’t need a snack and he was sure that his mother would smack the back of his head if he had one.  
  
“Organize by position please. Keepers over by the left goal, Chasers on the right, Beaters on the centre line and Seekers on the grass.” Johnson snapped.  
  
Gryffindor arranged themselves with interested Gryffindors joining Harry and the twins on the grass outside the pitch’s boundaries.  
  
Dudley saluted Harry rakishly as he went to join the Beater hopefuls.   
  
He spotted Longbottom and Thomas standing with the Keepers while Finnigan was with the Chasers.  
  
“Longbottom really?” Johnson sniffed.  
  
Longbottom scowled, “My cousin Oliver trained me over the summer. Gran was busy with Wizengamot duties as well as Board of Governors so I finally got lessons. He even bought me a Nimbus for my birthday.”  
  
“Very well.” Johnson asked. “What about you Thomas?”  
  
“Seamus taught me how to play and I played Keeper on a football team at my stepfather’s whim because he thought I spent too much time studying. Technically it’s the same concept even if it’s in the air rather than on the ground.” Thomas shrugged.   
   
“I see.” Johnson turned the Seeker hopefuls. “Name.”  
  
“Terentius Malfoy, I’m Draco Malfoy’s second cousin.”   
  
“Dennis Prewett, previously known as Creevey, Colin’s brother.”   
  
“Beaters?”  
  
“Dudley Black-Tonks, I was trained this summer by the Weasley twins.”  
   
“Faye Dunbar, I’m Neville’s cousin on our mothers’ side and I’m a huge Harpies fan.”  
  
“Which one?” Johnson asked sharply.  
  
“Gwenog Jones. I’m also an admirer of Emelia Bones…” Faye said shifting nervously.   
  
“You any good?” Johnson sniffed.  
   
A girl from Harry’s year with reddish-brown hair in braids called out, “She sleeps with a Beater’s bat rather then a teddy.”  
  
Fay blushed, “Damn it Alice!”  
  
“Well you do.” The girl called out cheekily.  
  
Dudley winked at Fay, “Looking forward to seeing what you can do.”  
  
“Jimmy Peaks.”  
  
“Ritchie Bott, I’m Brecc and Rueben’s cousin. Mum was a Captain of Slytherin and my dad had a Quidditch award when they were in school.”  
  
 “Four? That’s decent.” Johnson shrugged.  
  
“That’s how many I have; do you think you can beat mine?” Montague called out.  
  
“Pucey shut up your dog.” Johnson snapped.  
  
Dudley was annoyed to hear a bickering match start up between Johnson and Montague.   
  
“Adrian isn’t here now, Johnson. Maybe you should try fighting your own battles.” Montague sneered.  
  
Really was Montague that keen on arguing today?  
  
Johnson sniffed and stomped before turning to talk to her chasers.  
  
“Someone should tell her that tantrums just aren’t attractive.” Montague drawled.  
  
Fred smirked, “Tried, that’s why we’re no longer together and besides my Hermione is a better catch.”  
  
Johnson flinched but continued her examination of her team’s prospects, “I’m not going to be taking many Chasers, probably just one but maybe two if I’m astonished.”  
   
“Me name is Seamus Finnigan. I’m a Kenmare Kestrels fan.” Finnigan drawled. “Bin flying since before I could walk me Máthair says.”  
  
“Demelza Robbins.”  
  
Then came a few names Dudley didn’t catch with the exception of Gary of course…  
  
 “Very well, Alicia can take up Finnigan and Katie can take Robbins. Longbottom you’ll guard against Alicia and Finnigan. Thomas, you’ll guard again Katie and Robbins. Dudley you’re with Alicia, Katie’ll take Dunbar. I’ll referee and let the Snitch go. Whoever catches it first is our Seeker.”  
  
“What if I tell my Beaters to follow the first rule of the Beaters’ Bible?” Montague called out, “I hope you plan on having a decent reserve.”   
  
Gary snorted, “As if. Usually the rules don’t allow substitutions unless it’s the World Cup and the match goes on for days.”  
   
“Best two out of three is our Seeker, with the other remaining on the team as a reserve unless you show more skill during practice.” Johnson scowled.  
  
Gryffindor’s tryouts were more boring then Slytherin’s….  
  
They did switch with Chaser-hopefuls on the ground at some point…  
   
“I’ll post the team in the common room.” Johnson sniffed.  
  
“Keeping them in suspense Johnson? What’s the point? The choices should be glaringly obvious.” Montague said with a drawl as he stood and banished his chair.   
  
“When I want your opinion Montague,” Johnson said tossing her braids, “I’ll ask for it.”  
   
“You don’t have to ask.” Montague said with a smirk, “I’ve already given it. If you choose poorly well that’s in my favour. I’ve already benefited by the addition of your best players.”  
  
Urquhart yawned, “Let’s go. A spitting match between them is boring.”  
  
“Are you going to let him talk to me like that George?” Johnson pouted.  
  
George snorted, “You failed to capture Fred so now you’re turning your attentions to me? I’d be better off with Diggory; at least he knew whom he was pursuing. We may look identical but our tastes couldn’t be more different. I wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot broomstick. If I were going to be interested in a Quidditch captain I think that Montague is more my taste. If your gender weren’t already against you, your temperament would be. Clearly, authority doesn’t bring out the best in you Angelina. I thought at least six years of friendship would have helped you know me at least a little. You went after Fred, while you let Lee pant after you. Now that Fred’s moved on, you’re going after me? No thank you, I don’t do Fred’s leftovers.”  
  
“Deten,”  
  
“Oh please Johnson. I didn’t know telling the truth was an offence that deserved detention. As King of Slytherin I refuse to acknowledge your authority over my subject.” Urquhart sniffed. “Come along boys, I think we can find more entertaining things to do then deal with this harpy.”  
  
“I’m your Head Girl.” Johnson pouted.  
  
“Yes and that was probably just as much of a mistake as Ron being made prefect.” Fred said with a frown.   
  
“Vector, Smith or Farley would have been better choices.” Montague tossed back as he sauntered off.  
   
Harry frowned at Johnson, “To think I once respected you and thought you were a nice person. Was that just a front or are you behaving this way for a reason? Because Fred dropped you or because we’re Slytherins now?”  
  
“I can’t believe he dropped me for that mousy bookworm.” Johnson snipped before stalking off.   
  
Harry rose and stretched, “A pity, she has a nice face but a dreadful character. Remind you of anyone?” then he walked off with a sort of swagger that had two of his housemates staring at him with barely disguised lust.  
   
Dudley was stunned to see that not only was George ogling his cousin but so was Urquhart. Weird…  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	26. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

 

 

When Dudley got his timetable Monday morning from his Head of House Professor McGonagall he was pleased to start the day, school year, Hogwarts with Care of Magical Creatures. Reading about Dark creatures because Uncle Sirius wanted to work on his spell work had really gotten him interested in Magical animals. Then again having a magical cat that talked probably helped.

 

“Care of Magical Creatures is first!” Gary Pucey mused beside him, “I wonder what sort of teacher Charlie Weasley is.”

 

“His brothers are rather strict and I know George is going to be an assistant…” Dudley said grumpily, he’d never been much of a morning person. Sticking to a diet would be a pain with all this food around him; he’d have to find some way to exercise outside of Quidditch practice.

 

Too bad there wasn’t a weight room or a ring, then again it wasn’t like he’d have anyone to spar with….

 

“You excited?” Dennis asked bouncing, “I’m jealous…I wish I could have a class and learn about magical animals.”

 

“I wonder,” Mike Krum said quietly, “if this Charlie Weasley is the one Viktor wrote about. I know that my uncle runs the preserve so maybe…”

 

“Charlie’s a pretty good Seeker but my cousin Harry beat him.” Dudley said as he poured himself his second cup of coffee.

 

“I think Viktor mentioned that his friend Charlie played Quidditch in school…” Mike said eating oatmeal cereal with blueberries.

 

“Not like it matters really, either Professor Weasley is or is not your brother’s friend. I doubt very much that he’d give you any preferential treatment.” Dudley grumbled.

 

“I’m not even old enough to be in his class.” Mike pouted.

 

Gary patted him on the shoulder, “I promise to tell you what he’s like as a teacher so you can think about taking him next year.”

 

Mike and Dennis gave one another a high-five and then returned excitedly to their morning meal.

 

Dudley was grateful that Gary had introduced himself but they were just kids…

 

Even if they were academically at the same level, Dudley really wanted a friend his own age.

 

Harry had such a close-knit circle with a loyal entourage that he felt out of place…

 

Dudley joined Gary and his friend as they left the Great Hall heading outside.

 

They found Professor Charlie Weasley and George outside of course but they were with two unfamiliar persons.

 

Charlie counted them and grinned, “For those who don’t know me I’m on leave from a dragon preserve. That means my specialty is dragons, while I have a firm book based foundation on other species I invited two breeders here to talk abut dogs. Now some of you aren’t dog people and that’s fine. This gentleman is Lord O’Shanesey and he raises white Irish wolfhounds as familiars and as nogtail trackers, he’s also the Head of the Canine Breeder’s Guild. Logan MacDougal’s family raises crosses but they aren’t certified as a true breed.”

 

“What’s the difference?” Gary asked excitedly.

 

MacDougal shrugged, “We cross Skye terriers with crups, there are exacting standards that must be proved and met before we’re granted the status of a true breed, we call our dogs Skypes. Our family has long lived on the island of Skye you see and we always had crups. We’re neighbours with a Skye terrier breeder, one visit a few of our bitches were in heat and their visiting sires were on them. Short of using magic in front of Muggles we couldn’t separate them. When they proved pregnant we hoped that they’d give birth to crups but alas they did not. Since we bred for pleasure but not profit so we thought what the heck and raised them to see what they were like. After all mixed Kneazels sold reasonably. When we heard that the sires wouldn’t mate to other Skyes well we bought them so they wouldn’t be put down. It started as an experiment but slowly other magical families from the isle found out about them and we’ve built up a small business.”

 

Then Lord O’Shanesey talked, his voice had a thick Irish lit to it, “Me family, we’ve always had an affinity for magical creatures. When the Irish wolfhound was starting to disappear we banded together with a handful of families each taking a particular colour. We settled on the white, we all bred for a certain colour. There are red, black, pure white, fawn, wheaten and steel gray. Our runts are born gray rather then white and are unsellable so they usually end up family dogs. The breeders of the red, black and wheaten end up with brindles as runts. True breeders take pains to avoid the occurrences of mutts. Hagrid’s is a fine example of such being half Newfoundland and half-boarhound.”

 

After the two breeders introduced themselves the class was split in two with half going to meet breeding bitches, sires and pups that each breeder had brought.

 

Halfway through they switched.

 

Near then end of class Dudley raised his hand.

 

“Yes Mr. Black-Tonks?”

 

“When are we doing Kneazels and neko-matas?”

 

“Next week. We’ll do flobberworms near Halloween probably because they are easy.” Charlie shrugged. “I didn’t want to start with blind cabbage eating worms.”

 

After they were dismissed, Dudley heard the girls discussing how handsome Professor Charlie and his brother George were.

 

Given that he knew George was bent and he was a bit suspicious of the nature of the friendship between Mike Krum’s brother and Charlie, he bet the elder Weasley was also bent…

 

Since he didn’t have Divination or Ancient Runes, Dudley took his leave of Gary Pucey and Geoffrey Harper who had both of those classes.

 

Third Years joined what appeared to be the Fifth Year Slytherins and Ravenclaws returning to the castle from the Greenhouses. Draco was about to call out to Harry when he crashed into another person.

 

“Hey! Watch where you’re going kid.” Came gruff voice.

 

Dudley and the other boy ended up sprawled on the ground.

 

Dudley rolled and then ended up on his feet in a crouch, he stood and brushed off before holding his hand out. “Sorry about that. Dudley Black-Tonks.”

 

“The Bloodtraitor’s ward? Greg Goyle, watch where you’re going.” The other boy shoved his hand away and stood.

 

“If you’re trying to intimidate me, you’re wasting your time. Your own Head of House fell short.”

 

“You want to fight?” Goyle growled.

 

Dudley snorted, “Not really,” though he wouldn’t mind a sparing match. “Don’t you have Potions or something? I think I overheard the fifth years mentioning that they had double potions or something with Slytherin. Since my cousin doesn’t have any friends amoung your dormmates, I bet Harry’ll sit with the likes of Longbottom, Thomas and Finnigan.”

 

“You knocked me down, I want to fight. I’ll have to hurry, Draco doesn’t like for any of us to be late. I’ll meet you behind Greenhouse Number one at seven.”

 

Then Goyle was gone…

 

Goyle? Was that name familiar?

 

Then he remembered, Goyle that was the maiden name of Petunia’s grandmother…

 

Dudley didn’t really see why he needed to meet Goyle after dinner; then again he didn’t want to be deemed a coward for not going.

 

He’d go…

 

XoooooX

 

After eating dinner and checking his watch, a gift from his ‘uncle’ Sirius before heading to Hogwarts, it was fifteen to seven.

 

Dudley sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets and making his way out the greenhouses.

 

They were hard to miss really but he didn’t know which was numbered one until he saw the black numbers on the doors.

 

He had five minutes to spare when he walked around it to find Goyle pacing.

 

“Didn’t think you’d come.” Goyle grumbled.

 

“I don’t see why we have to fight when it was an accident but whatever.” Dudley said undoing his shirt and tossing it and his jacket off to the side where they landed on a log.

 

“You want to fight bare chested?” Goyle gaped at him.

 

Dudley nodded, “No point in mucking up perfectly good clothes. Now you still want to fight?”

 

“Sure, no reason not to.” Goyle tossed back.

 

“Except good sense.” Dudley snorted.

 

They didn’t even notice that Professor Charlie had followed them and was watching from the circle of Greenhouses with a frown.

 

“How are we doing this?” Dudley asked, “Being the ‘Bloodtraitor’s ward’ I don’t know jackshit about your idea of rules.”

 

“No head shots? Fists only?” Goyle offered. “First one on the ground loses?”

 

“On your name?” Dudley asked raising an eyebrow.

 

Goyle stiffened, “If you like, on my name no head shots, fists only. First one on the ground loses.”

 

Dudley repeated the words knowing that the oath would surely bind him as well as the old oath had bound him when he made it with Piers and their old roommate.

 

They both took up defensive stances and then Goyle made the first move, a punch reminiscent of a jab.

 

Dudley threw his roundhouse right and left hook opener.

 

Just like everyone else, Goyle went down.

 

The boy had close cropped brunette curls and blue eyes; he blinked stupidly and then sat up rubbing his chin. “Damn you’re good. Muggles teach you to fight like that?”

 

Dudley chuckled, “Somewhat, my trainers said I was a natural talent.” Warily he held out his hand.

 

This time Goyle took it and pulled himself up. He smirked holding his hand, “Greg Goyle.”

 

“Dudley Black-Tonks.” Dudley said shaking it, “Nice to meet you.”

 

“You’re a Third Year? Aren’t you like fifteen?” Greg frowned.

 

“Yeah, my magic didn’t really wake up until a few weeks ago. I was lucky to get two years in such a short time but I had good tutors.”

 

“You’re related to Potter?”

 

“My cousin. Not close but still a cousin. You’re a Goyle? My previous bloodline included a Grace Goyle, must have been a Squib or something.”

 

“There was one a few decades back but she was cut off you know?”

 

“Like my mother was, she’s been brought back into the ‘bosom of the family’ so to speak. The Head of our House gave her permission to blood adopt me.” Dudley shrugged.

 

“Friends now? What was this about?” Charlie, Dudley’s Magical Creature professor called out. “Tripping into one another earlier?”

 

Dudley flinched. “We got detention or something?”

 

“Perhaps, Goyle how do you plan to explain away that bruise growing purpler by the minute?”

 

“Glamour? Don’t need to explain it.” Greg snorted.

 

“I remember people muttering how your sister was surprisingly smart for a Goyle.” Charlie frowned.

 

“Just because letters seemed to get mixed up when I read or write, that doesn’t make me stupid!” Greg snapped.

 

“I see, that’s understandable I had a problem like that too when I was younger. I grew out of it but that’s rare. Now I should give you both detentions for fighting. However, I’ll let you off with a warning and vanish the bruise. In return Dudley will read your lessons to you and teach you the nifty spells he learned over the summer. You’ll help him with his studies Goyle, you surely remember Third Year if you aren’t stupid.” Charlie said sternly as he flicked his wand at Greg vanishing the bruise. “Now you better hurry, Snape’s in a mood. Something about a snake being late to Potions?”

 

Greg ran off, calling over his shoulder, “I’ll let you know when to meet me in the library.”

 

Dudley frowned at Charlie, “Why didn’t you punish us?”

 

Charlie smirked, “You don’t think being forced to tutor a bloodtraitor’s adopted son who happens to be a Gryffindor won’t be detrimental to a Goyle?”

 

Dudley blinked, “Why else did you do that?”

 

“I think you two could be friends, by ordering you to study together you can work that out. If you don’t have reading issues, you can read his homework for him can’t you? I think his ‘friends’ are rather sick of trying to help him. Unlike them, you don’t have O.W.L.s this year do you?”

 

Dudley shook his head, scowling, “Because I’m a third year.”

 

“I’ve seen how you look at my brothers, Hermione and Harry; you seem a bit left out. Maybe starting with Goyle you can make your own friends.” Charlie shrugged. “Slytherins aren’t all bad, my grandmothers were Slytherins. Get a move on, I’m sure someone assigned homework.”

 

Dudley groaned making his way back to the castle.

 

Maybe Charlie was friends with Mike’s brother, he wasn’t as strict as George but perhaps, he was smarter in some ways.

 

More then he’d expected for a guy who looked after dragons…

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	27. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Manly Bonding for Dudley and Greg as well as studying. Greg gets some flack about having a bloodtraitor's son for a friend and Vince shows up. Greg's sister makes an appearance and who is Cris?

Chapter 26  
  
  
Matching schedules when they were both on Quidditch teams was a bit difficult…  
  
They finally met up Wednesday at lunch.  
  
To Dudley’s surprise, Goyle was apologetic.  
  
“My apologies for not being able to meet sooner, between my detention and Quidditch practice I was busy yesterday.”  
  
Dudley shrugged, “I wouldn’t have been able to meet you at lunch yesterday since I joined Gary Pucey in looking in on the Slytherin duellers. Having spent the summer with the Weasley twins and had them both for instructors there is a small amount of camaraderie between us.”  
  
“So it is true? Our Head Boy and captain really stood up to the toad queen didn’t they?” Greg asked in a low voice looking around nervously.  
  
“They went so all out that the four of them ended up with magical exhaustion. Only Fred managed not to pass out, even though both twins won. Montague woke up later but Pucey and George still weren’t awake when I left.” Dudley shrugged.  
  
Greg handed over his essays and notes for Dudley to peruse, “I know the writing is atrocious. Blaise and Draco complain all the time about it.”  
  
“Mine’s just as bad, the words in my head just don’t come out of my quill properly.” Dudley muttered as he waved his wand over the parchment to cast the spells to autocorrect the grammar and spelling as well as make Greg’s handwriting more legible.  
  
Greg blinked at him, “What did you do?”  
  
“Made the essays readable then I can edit properly.” Dudley smirked, then he started to read, his eyes widening in surprise.  
  
Greg’s frown was almost audible.  
  
“You’re really smart.” Dudley said surprised.  
  
Greg gaped at him, “You don’t need to lie to me.”  
  
Dudley shook his head, “No, really. Once all the mess is eliminated you explain the concepts so well that I actually understood it. If I were teaching I’d give you high marks.”  
  
Greg blinked, “You’re serious?”  
  
“As serious as Dementors.” Dudley nodded even as he turned to finish Greg’s essays while personally casting spells making them far easier to read and understand. He finally handed them all back, “You’ll get high marks with them no doubt.”  
  
Greg flushed, “Thanks mate.” Then he tapped Dudley’s texts, “What questions did you have?”  
  
“Tell me about Dark Creatures? My instructor over the summer wouldn’t waste time with them and made me read about them.” Dudley begged while trying not to seem like he was begging.  
  
Greg let out a sigh of relief before he began to tell Dudley about various dark creatures most of whom he’d learned about with Lupin as a teacher back in Third Year until they had to return to classes.

  
  
XoooooX

They met up on Friday evening to knock out as much as they could of their mutual homework before the weekend officially began.  
  
They were walking towards the Library and exchanging views on professors when taunting reached their ears.  
  
“Muggleborn or Bloodtraitor?”  
  
“The lump with Goyle?”  
  
“Either, he doesn’t look like a pureblood.”  
  
“Black hair, grey eyes…looks like a Black.”  
  
“Hm, you don’t think he’s related to that Duffer Seph Tonks do you?”  
  
“I believe there is a Third Year Gryffindor called Black-Tonks but Dudley isn’t a very Black sounding name. So he’s a Bloodtraitor’s son then? What’s he doing around Goyle? Doesn’t he know that Goyles are dumb as rocks? He looks big for his age too, unless he’s been held back.”  
  
Greg growled, “Cassius Warrington and Cormac McLaggen, you still haven’t shaken Stewart? Is that because he’s so accommodating? What is it like having a mistress without spending money?”  
  
Dudley glared, “That’s not polite Greg.”  
  
Greg shrugged, “There is no being polite with the likes of them. Warrington got Adrian kicked off the team because he was too honourable to cheat. Everyone knows the Pucey code doesn’t allow for cheating and yet Flint was dumb enough to expect it.”  
  
“Pucey was the least talented on the pitch.” Their shadow, presumably Stewart piped up.  
  
“More the fool you for saying such a falsehood, a right embarrassment to Gryffindor you are.” Greg retorted, “It doesn’t concern you my reasons for spending time with Dudley. Now clear off hyenas.”  
  
Dudley snickered, “Oh that’s a good one, low scavengers who even eat rotten carcasses and dung.”  
  
“Why you disgusting little Third Year scum!” the hulking Slytherin growled.  
  
“I think I hear Filch,” Dudley drawled, “come on Greg, homework calls.”  
  
Greg snorted, “I hope he makes them polish trophies without magic.”  
  
Dudley was slightly worried; he hadn’t quite fathomed what Charlie meant about Greg being in trouble for hanging with him would mean until right now.  
  
Yet Greg didn’t seem bothered…  
  
Still Dudley worried what he would be in for within the walls of Slytherin…

  
  
XoooooX

  
Neither were morning persons but they had Quidditch practices most of the weekend hopefully if their respective Captains the Head Boy and Head Girl succeeded in negotiating their clubs being reinstated so they met up in the library before breakfast to knock out what they hadn’t gotten done last night.  
  
“Well, well on a study date again? What would your father say if he knew you were spending time with a bloodtraitor’s son?”  
  
“Who is the submissive in that relationship Cassius?” The American Gryffindor Edward Stewart, who followed Cormac McLaggen and Warrington around like a puppy.  
  
“Probably the Gryffindor, after all surely someone with the pureblood of a Goyle while lacking in intelligence knows better then to submit to the likes of someone like Black-Tonks.”  
  
Dudley sneered, “You must be a fool if you think I’m interested in anything more then schoolwork and friendship from Goyle. I might think that liking blokes isn’t a bad thing but it’s not for me. I prefer spirited blondes…”  
  
“Oh then watch out Goyle he might go for your sister.”  
  
Greg snorted, “Only if he had a death wish, the only one more protective of Giselle’s virtue then I is her best friend Millie as you well know. What happened to Flint when Millie got wind of his attempt to corner her?”  
  
Warrington flinched, “Mad Lestrange wench.”  
  
“Fifteen points from Slytherin.” Came the same airy voice from the Quidditch tryouts. “I do hope you are playing nicely boys. I know they scrapped the bottom the barrel with you Stewart but I had hoped you’d earn that badge by being loyal to it. A pity that someone with your marks, is a lackey to someone like Cassius.”  
  
Dudley was surprised to see a bit of ice in the blonde’s face.  
  
Beside her was the aforementioned Millie Bulstrode; her face was cold and forbidding as she gripped her wand.  
  
Giselle treated the bullies to an icy smile, “I see three choices: one, I let Millie march you away to teach you manners; two, I can summon Madam Prince to have you banned from the library or three, you apologize and leave before Madam Prince has to tell Professor Snape that you are disrespecting members of our House Cassius.”  
  
“What about us?” McLaggen grumbled.  
  
“You? I see only faceless Gryffindor Lackeys to the new face of Slytherin’s Bully. First it was Fergus O Morda, after graduation he was replaced by Marcus Flint, and now you are the current scum to acquire the title.”  
  
“You,” Warrington began but he swallowed his next words when he caught sight of Millie Bulstrode’s face. “My apologies prefect…”  
  
Then Warrington stormed off with his Gryffindor Lackeys in tow.  
  
“You should have let me handle it Giselle.” Millie grumbled.  
  
Giselle beamed at her, “As flattering as it would be, we both know that I have to defend myself sometimes or I would have no respect. I can’t sic my best friend on my detracters like a Dark Lady would send her enforcer,” she entwined her arm around Millie’s leaning into her so that she could lay her head on Millie’s very pronounced bicep.  
  
Dudley thought they were clearly more then friends, but if they weren’t public then likely they had good reason. “Dudley Black-Tonks,”  
  
Giselle beamed, “Then you’re my healer’s son! Pleased to meet you, I’m so glad that Greg has a smart friend especially with his OWLS coming up.”  
  
“Giselle,” Greg grumbled.  
  
“Oh hush, he seems like a good sort for a Gryffindor.” Giselle giggled, “I know my brother is often treated like a fool but he is smart; just a different sort of smart. I am glad to see him make a new friend; especially someone outside our childhood circle, it shows personal growth. Now I’ll leave you to return to your homework, I remember OWL work. A pity it doesn’t get any easier…”  
  
No sooner had Giselle floated off with Millie at her side.  
  
A portly blonde towhead appeared pouting.  
  
Greg frowned, “What’s the matter Vince?”  
  
The blonde pouted, “I thought we were friends…like Blaise and Draco.”  
  
Greg blinked, “Vince, we’re cousins and we’ve known each other since the cradle but that doesn’t mean we can’t have other friends.”  
  
“You’ve spend all your free time with him this week…” Vince whinged.  
  
“Please tell me you haven’t been listening to Warrington, Dudley and I are just friends. We help each other with our homework, that’s all.” Greg said exasperated.  
  
“Draco spends all his time studying with Blaise, attending Quidditch practices or with Thomas doing prefect stuff.” Vince said petulantly.  
  
Dudley frowned, “His name is Dearborn Crabbe.”  
  
Vince blinked at him, “Huh? I thought it was Thomas?”  
  
“Until Hogwarts told us it was Dearborn, of course that is what we were supposed to believe his name was Thomas when that’s what the professors called him.” Greg shrugged.  
  
“Weird…” Vince mumbled.  
  
“Well are you going to join us or are you going to pout all day like a toddler?” Dudley sniffed.  
  
Vince merely plopped into a seat and crossed his arms.  
  
Dudley watched when Greg tossed him a textbook and parchment reminding him to write his essay for Snape.

  
  
XoooooX

Sunday instead of their mutual practices, Dudley met Greg outside by the lake, Vince tagging along behind his Slytherin friend.  
  
“So what do you want to do today?” Dudley asked.  
  
“Why don’t we duel for the fun of it? The rules don’t say we can’t use our wands outside, I asked Giselle and she checked the rules for me.” Greg said with a smirk.  
  
Dudley grinned, “So what do we do to keep the spells from going wild and hitting someone unintentionally?”  
  
Greg twirled his wand, “Millie taught me a spell that would raise a ward that would cancel our spells if they were about to leave the practice area. Apparently she and Giselle use it all the time.”  
  
Dudley clapped him on the shoulder, “Let’s try it!”  
  
“What am I’m doing Greg?” Vince whinged.  
  
Honestly, his behaviour annoyed Dudley but he didn’t bother mentioning it.  
  
“Just stay back and keep an eye on us?” Greg shrugged.  
  
Given his Dark family while Dudley wasn’t sure Greg had a Death Eater father but he knew Greg probably knew a lot of spells that he didn’t…  
  
Then again he had been tutored in spells by the Lord of a formerly Dark family who just happened to be a disgraced Auror; Dudley knew that while the spells that were taught during the first two years had been imparted to him Sirius had taught him spells that were more about disabling your opponent then merely defending yourself not that shielding, dodging, countering and blocking weren’t part of his instruction as well…  
  
Once Vince was safely outside their practice area, Dudley and Greg stood back to back and counted out fifteen paces before turning to bow in greeting with their wand touching their non-dominant shoulder.  
  
Vince counted down from ten, at one spells flew.  
  
While Greg wasn’t Harry, his spell casting level was definitely above Dudley’s, duelling Greg could be helpful in getting strong enough fight at Harry’s side.  
  
Greg managed to pin Dudley down magically just as Harry did, only not as quickly.  
  
Dudley yelled out, “I yield!”  
  
“Come on Vince why are you hanging out with the likes of them? That Gryffindor is the son of a bloodtraitor and he’s got a duffer for a sister. Greg’s proving to be a bloodtraitor himself, you shouldn’t have to spend time with him.”  
  
“Yeah! You heard Cassius,” Stewart piped up, “you’re better of not associating with the likes of them.”  
  
“Likes of them? Really Egs, how cowardly of you.” Came a sneering voice.  
  
Stewart flinched. “Cris,”  
  
“Yes your crazy cousin Cris. I was under the impression that you were a prefect, I didn’t realise that you had the right to bully other students. I wonder how your father would take you misusing your authority. Surely you have better taste in friends, these two haven’t got enough brains to be worth your time.”  
  
“Shut up Cris! You’re the one in the wrong! You can’t even be trusted to sleep in the dungeon!” Stewart whinged.  
  
Cris snorted, “I left my last school to get away from crowded dormitories and bullies, why would I want to be forced into one? I’m enjoying adjusting my apartment to my own tastes. You’re a disgrace to your father!”  
  
“You’re an embarrassment to our shared blood!” Stewart threw back.  
  
“Really? I’m not bullying people and calling them names. I know what you are Egs I can read you like a book; you’re nothing but a cowardly Halfblood, skulking behind two hulking wizards who is too disgusted by his own sexuality to able to face anyone else’s so you take your frustrations out on other people.” Cris retorted.  
  
“You! You arrogant bitch!”  
  
“I’m no canine and I’ve no intention of acting like a slut, you know how I react when you treat me like a mad witch instead of a powerful wizard. If you’re going to slum with the likes of these two, then its no wonder your intelligence is clearly suffering. If you don’t lay off these two I’ll be writing to your father.” Cris threatened.  
  
“He wouldn’t take your word for it! He doesn’t even like you!” Stewart whinged.  
  
“He doesn’t have to take my word for it, I’ll send him the memories and statements from these three.” Cris shrugged. “Your sister may disapprove of me but she would detest your behaviour. I’m surprised she hasn’t put a stop to it!”  
  
“I hate you Cris!”  
  
“I detest you. I wish I’d had a better choice then transferring here so that I wouldn’t have to deal with narrow-minded half cousins like you two.” Cris spat, “Now clear off before I send my winds to torment you. There was a storm late last night and I spent much of recharging. You don’t want to face my magic after a night like that, especially since you have no idea what I can really do. You didn’t seem half of it when you tried to attack me last year.”  
  
“You’re nothing but a power mad witch!” Stewart said cowering behind Warrington.  
  
“Really? This place has so much wild magic and I’ve communed with nature in mediation all night. I know magic you’ve never heard of, for a very powerful Japanese shamaness who once served as a priestess to the Emperor Hirohito trained me. I’ve been in her care since I was eighteen months old and learning magic ever since.”  
  
The more angry Cris became the more dangerous they seemed, electricity and wind spun around them like a tornado.  
  
Greg backed up, “Salazar’s wand! That Cris is dangerous!”  
  
“You loathsome coward!” then Cris began to chant in a language Dudley couldn’t understand.  
  
Lightening leapt from her hands and the force of its landing flung all three wizards: Warrington, McLaggen and Stewart back so they landed near the middle of the Black Lake.  
  
Then to their surprise, Cris plunged their hands into the earth and quickly the anger left their face. They blinked and bowed, “My apologies for losing my temper like that, Egs takes pleasure in baiting me and he has yet to learn exactly how hazardous that is to his health and well-being. I was training as a healer so I don’t like causing injuries but I know the body well enough to subdue with little, no or extreme pain that doesn’t cause permanent damage.”  
  
“Dudley Black-Tonks, you’re amazing…”  
  
“Cristiano Sakuya Sasashima, but you can call me Cris,” the strange Slytherin bowed, “I’m a Sixth Year student and I’ve been here two Septembers but Egs has yet to learn not to bait me.”  
  
Greg frowned, “You’re the reclusive transfer from America that only mixes with Kudo right?”  
  
Cris shrugged, “I’m not very social and I hate people.”  
  
“Sounds like Millie.” Vince said stupidly.  
  
Greg grabbed him by his ear while looking around cautiously. “Careful Vince, you wouldn’t want to end up on the wrong side of Millie’s wand.” He flinched, “Then again so are you, dangerous I mean…” he muttered at Cris.  
  
Cris sneered, “If you think I’m dangerous you haven’t met that transfer from Tartarus. This school is rather pathetic by comparison.”  
  
Vince blinked stupidly, “Hogwarts is easy?  
  
Cris snorted, “The stuff you learn here the first four years is already learned in a primary school like Hecate’s in Hogsmeade for those at Tartarus. It’s a battle wizard school, they are trained to do things that your own Aurors and Hit Wizards couldn’t or wouldn’t do. A team of Tartarus’ students could have eliminated your precious Dark Lord if called and they would have thought it to be an exam; like a practical NEWT in say Defence.”  
  
Dudley frowned. “I’ve got a bad feeling that you’re serious…”  
  
Cris chuckled, “Don’t believe me? Didn’t you hear about the Fourth Year Gryffindor-Slytherin Defence class? My penpal Nemo told her if practical was good enough then she should defend herself. He, like many of his yearmates at Tartarus has already mastered wandless and nonverbal magic. He casts spells merely by thought now and they were spells that a certified healer had never seen and could not reverse.”  
  
“He’s the dangerous one?” Dudley swallowed, “Here and I thought Harry was frightening…”  
  
"No matter how strong someone is, there will always be someone stronger." Cris chided. "Now if you'll excuse me, Nori is waiting."  
  
Dudley, Greg and Vince stared after Cris.  
  
"If that was a witch...I'd be in love..." Greg swallowed.  
  
"They aren't, so they are a wizard?" Dudley frowned.  
  
"Let's say its dangerous to speculate. Don't ask Kudo either, rumour has it they are lovers but I'm suspicious that he's a submissive- Kudo not Cris. A true Slytherin is attracted to power, that's why I said if Cris was a witch..." Greg swallowed.  
  
Dudley was a bit confused as to what Cris’ gender was given that they called themself a wizard and ‘Eggs' called them a witch. If Greg was being honest perhaps speculating was dangerous and he wasn’t really that curious anyway. Besides, he like spirited blondes not powerful ones…  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We thought it would be interesting to add an FTM character to round out the represented genders and sexualities in this series...
> 
> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


	28. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

 

 

Dudley was furious! That toad-faced bitch still had yet to reinstate the Gryffindor team!

 

The Slytherin team even captained by Montague couldn’t even get an appointment with Umbridge, which left Dudley, Greg and Vince bored out of their skulls…

 

Dudley grabbed Fred, George, Greg and Vince after dinner Sunday pushing them along until they reached the Seventh floor. He still had energy to work off despite his duel with Greg after lunch.

 

He decided to pace approximately where the Room of Requirement supposedly was thinking, ‘I want a workout room like the one at Smeltings complete with a ring, tape, gloves and punching bags. Please give the punching bags decals of Umbridge.’

 

Eventually a door not unlike the club door appeared in the wall and Dudley pulled it open, “Come on then.”

 

Greg frowned, “What is this?”

 

Dudley smirked, “A surprise. We’re all beaters here and we have serious pent up aggression to work out.”

 

His former tutors and his ‘friends’ Greg and Vince entered the room seeming rather curious.

 

Dudley was not surprised really to find that the castle really had provided what he had requested.

 

“What is this place?”

 

“I asked the castle for a room to work out in. Now we have Muggle exercise equipment, bags and a ring. We’re all big boys, rather strong and I thought we could use some manly bonding.” Dudley shrugged.

 

The four non-Muggle raised wizards stared at him.

 

“First we’ll begin with some stretching, I’ll show you.”

 

Dudley demonstrated first before helping them stretch properly just like Michaels and Jackson showed him before he asked them, “Weight training or fighting?”

 

“Weight training.” George replied.

 

The other boys wanted to learn to fight.

 

Dudley wrapped Fred’s hands and showed him how to put on his gloves before having Greg demonstrate how to wrap by wrapping his. Then without the gloves, Dudley demonstrated different punches, blocks and stances just as his old friends had for him before lightly tapping the closest training bag.

 

Once the other boys seemed prepared, Dudley went to walk George through a few weight machines as well as the concept of sets and reps.

 

“Got it thanks, this is really cool.” George grinned, “We’ll have to come here often it’s awesome. Maybe we can invite Charlie!”

 

Dudley groaned, “Just what I need another Weasley…”

 

The air was filled with the sound of punching, gloved hands impacting pleather sand bags.

 

Dudley strode over to check on Greg, Vince and Fred’s forms correcting when needed or holding the bag still.

 

His ‘students’ learned quickly and soon Dudley tugged on the trainer target gloves, “Fred get up here and try it with a moving target.” Summoning the older Slytherin into the ring with no magical power just a gesture.

 

Dudley let Fred throw punches while calling out corrections to his form before switching to regular boxing gloves and challenging Fred.

 

Dudley switched Greg for Fred after twenty minutes and repeated his lesson.

 

Then he walked Vince through it.

 

After sparing Dudley sent them to weight train with George’s supervision.

 

By the time they were finished they were exhausted but a good exhausted.

 

Thankfully, the room proved a gang shower, towels and clean workout clothes.

 

The boys: one Gryffindor and four Slytherins showered before returning to their common rooms.

 

 

 

 

 


	29. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

September 10, 1995

Dudley had been lucky to avoid being placed in Blackthorn lessons with Harry or Fred since their instructors were harsher than Sirius…

Dudley was one year behind that intimidating Nemo, so he was quite uneasy about him. Nemo reminded him of his adopted mother in some ways and he had no desire to end under either of their wands.

Dudley’s Blackthorn lessons were going to be on Friday;

Dudley would lead the lessons for the First Years and Second with Greg Goyle, Gary Pucey and Laurel Parkinson in the Room of Requirement during Fourth Period Lessons on Fridays.

Dean, Seamus and Theo were expected to teach Dudley and the interested Third Years during the following Period before they had Defence with the crazy bitch.

Last week was on Crups, this week was on Kneazels.

Cats were infinitely more awesome than canines in Dudley’s opinion.

After Fred’s comment about inviting Charlie to work out with them and his own run-in with his Magical Creatures professor after the fight with Greg, Dudley was more than a bit reticent in spending time with his professor. Even if Charlie’s interference had gained him a friend in an age mate like Greg…

 

XooooooX

 

Dudley borrowed the first and second year lessons from Hermione and gave copies to his partners.

Although in Greg’s case, he just asked what spells he felt were appropriate for First and Second year students.

“Shields, at that age, they just need shields. They shouldn’t be fighting. It’s our job to get them to safety.” Greg said sharply.

“Would your sister agree?”

Greg snorted, “If the battle came to Hogwarts, you know what I’d do?”

Dudley frowned, “No…”

“Tell Millie to take Giselle and get her out. I’d tell her to take Giselle somewhere that our fathers couldn’t find her. Then we’d find a way to take out each other’s fathers, I like a girl my father would kill me for and Giselle is the only person Millie wants. She’s torn between her beloved bookstore and her chosen lover. They’ve been promised to one another for a long time, I’m not blind. Millie asked before she realized she can’t inherit without a son and Giselle said yes.”

“Then what will they do?”

“I’m only tell you this because you had Goyle blood you know.” Greg said sharply.

Dudley stiffened, “Understood.”

“Millie has only two choices, break my sister’s heart and bond to a wizard or allow me to sire a child she has to carry so she can have a son that has a blood tie to my sister.”

“But she doesn’t like wizards, heck I don’t think she really likes anyone but your sister.”

“You’d be right, she tolerates me because Giselle and I are close. Plus, I am too wary to pose much of a threat.”

“I don’t know Millie Bulstrode but if she’s anything like my mother…”

“Healer Andromeda? Aside from Millie wanting to bond to Giselle, they are very similar. Millie is the type who wants both. If she could have the shop and Giselle, that would be perfect. As it stands, Millie has to decide which she can live without.”

“I had to choose between my first crush and magic, I chose magic…” Dudley winced.

“That blows mate,” Greg winced, “someday I’m going to have to choose between my father’s expectations and my own dreams.”

“Overbearing father? I used to have one,” Dudley nodded. “Picked out my classes, ignored my preferences and was determined that I should join his company after I finished school.”

“Mine wants to choose my consort and make me join his Lord. Thanks, but no thanks.”

“With his Blackthorn, I’m nearly certain that Harry is starting his own side. He believes that the Ministry is exactly what mother described it as; a Runespoor. It’s so busy fighting with itself that it hasn’t a clue. Dumbledore’s a power mad fool and well, you can’t be too sane if you’re trying to kill a baby.” Dudley shrugged.

The two of them went back to alternating between their studies and planning a lesson.

Dudley had been careful to cast a ward spell to keep others from listening in, his mother and ‘uncle’ Sirius had impressed on him that such precautions were imperative when plotting.

He had no intention of embarrassing either the House of Black who were consummate Slytherins even if Sirius had been a Gryffindor and a Marauder.

He was going to be one of the sneakiest Gryffindors and teach that pink-draped toad a lesson in pissing off a Black.

 

XooooooX

 

Angelina was radiating annoyance when she slunk into Gryffindor Tower where Dudley had popped in to trade out his school things before meeting Greg.

“Angie?” Lee Jordan frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Gryffindor’s team is not allowed to reform unless we drop Black-Tonks.”

Angelina’s grumble caused Dudley to pause on the staircase that led to the Common Room from the boys' dormitories.

“What?” Neville growled.

“Apparently, a transfer student lacks the house pride to represent us.”

“You’re not seriously considering it…” Neville scowled.

“What about Slytherin’s team?” Dean frowned.

“I’m certain that Fred, George and Harry will be dropped so that they can reform.” Angelina shrugged.

“You dunna think they be fightin’ fer ‘em?” Seamus sputtered.

“They don’t need them to win, they still have Malfoy.” Alicia sighed.

“You really think that they’d do that?” Neville scowled, “I don’t think that Urquhart would allow it.”

“Loyalty is not a Slytherin trait, they will do what is best for their house which is not insisting that they are allowed to keep former Gryffindors on their team.”

“Yet keeping Fred, George and Harry is in their best interest. After all, Slytherins are known for being self-interested.” Dean interjected. “Insisting on having the superior team is definitely a Slytherin trait.”

“I think you and Pucey need to meet privately with Harry and Hermione.” Neville mused.

“Why?” Angelina said petulantly.

“Do not let your jealousy get in the way of Hogwarts’ best interest. It would prove that you were not the best person to be Head Girl and Gryffindor would not be pleased.” Neville’s eyes flashed.

“The House?” Angelina pouted.

“That and the heir to the hereditary seat on the Board of Governors.” Neville grumbled.

“We have a direct descendant of our Founder in our House.” Dean smirked. “I think that they have the best insight into whether or not Gryffindor would be displeased by our abandonment of a Housemate.”

Dudley wasn’t sure what to make of his House; Dean and Neville were all for keeping him on the House Team while Angelina, his own Captain was contemplating having him dropped from the team to allow them to play.

He WANTED to play but not if he was unwanted.

“You do realize that Dudley can hear you.” Neville snorted, jerking his head towards the staircase to the Boys’ Dormitory where he had stopped.

Dudley sighed, stepping out, “I didn’t mean to seem to be eavesdropping, I didn’t want to cause a scene by demanding to stay on the team or sulk by saying that you can just toss me off the team. I don’t have the relationships that you all have from spending years together. You lost your captain two years ago, after that you lost an entire season and now three of your best members were reSorted into Slytherin. I understand that I’m not one of you, I probably never will be because I was never able to experience what bonded you together. I didn’t see Harry as a Champion, I didn’t watch you win House Cups or the Quidditch Cup. I’m new, I might as well be a First Year Muggleborn for all I know.”

“You’re not,” Dean protested

“You’re here and we’re Housemates, we have time to build those bonds.” Neville said throwing an arm around his shoulders.

“That’s what being a House is and what being a team means.” Katie pipped up.

“They can’t call us the courageous or reckless House if we can’t stand up for one another.” Neville said stubbornly.

Dean nodded, “Neville’s right, an attack on one is an Attack on All.”

“Our House Team is the Captain’s choice and only our Head of House can request a member be dropped and only for grades.” Katie smirked. “Unless a parent or guardian insists first.”

Dudley snorted, “I can’t see the Head of my Family arguing.”

“You mean Harry?” Neville teased.

Dudley coughed, “Sure, Harry. He would want us to bring our best team even if he’s been reSorted.”

“So,” Dean and the rest of the team glowered at Angelina, “are you going to stand by Dudley?”

“Fine I’ll meet with Adrian and talk to McGonagall. If we can’t make Umbridge see reason, we can petition the Board of Governors.” Angelina muttered acting very put out.

Leaving Dudley annoyed, but he thanked Neville, Dean and the rest of their team before leaving. Sirius had told him where the kitchens were and so he snagged Greg because he didn’t wish to sit in the Great Hall.

Just because he could pretend not to care didn’t mean he didn’t.

Once they were in the kitchens, Greg frowned.

“What is that matter?”

“What was the toad’s ultimatum for allowing your House team reform?” Dudley ground out.

“Dropping Potter and the Weasleys of course.” Greg shrugged.

“So, did you?” Dudley asked after barking out a request for food.

“It was decided that it was in our House’s best interest to keep them.” Greg smirked. ‘The Head Boy and our Captain are best friends, while George is our Seventh Year Prefect after all. Besides, I have a feeling if we refused that our King would come down on us like the wrath of Salazar himself.”

“Wish our Head Girl-Captain was as stubborn, the team had to bully her. I thought she’d dump me if she had the choice. Neville said that keeping Harry, Fred and George was in your best interest and that you’d keep them on just for that.”

“I’m not speaking ill of Draco, we’ve grown up together after all but we need Harry. He is the best and Slytherin believes in always having the best.”

Dudley may have look like a Black but he did have Goyle qualities, despite being a Gryffindor. He was annoyed with Angelina and wouldn’t have thought twice about pranking her in revenge if she wasn’t their House Captain.

“Don’t worry,” Greg smirked, “I’ll be talking to Fred and George, they may have taken my favourite position but they are brilliant Beaters. I’m sure that they’ll let me prank the Head Girl for thinking that you four would best serve your House by being off the team.”

“They are friends…” Dudley muttered

“Then she should have decided to side with them by believing that we’d keep them on or that their protégé belonged on the team.” Greg snorted.

The two of them started to eat while Greg explained more about various magical creatures, he often convinced Giselle or Vince to read to him about them. It was a subject they both enjoyed…

Maybe having a real friend wasn’t so hard after all, Greg didn’t seem to care about his blood status choosing to be his friend on merit and mutual interests.

Perhaps, he should invite Charlie to work out with them…

He wouldn’t be Greg’s friend without the Magical Creatures professor’s meddling…

 

 


End file.
